One Month

One month (and a few days) ago, I had the longest day of my life. Forrest was officially one month old on October 30. I have to be honest, I'm still a little shocked that it's been a month already. Where did the time go? (This is a question I will, undoubtedly, be asking until Forrest is approximately 57.) 

Here are a few things that I know about Forrest: 

  • For the first 2 weeks, he was an excellent sleeper. I found myself wondering if I'd hit the newborn lottery. At night, he went to sleep immediately. We often had to wake him up for feedings! But then, a flip switched around 2 and a half weeks and suddenly, he didn't want to go to sleep; he didn't want to stay asleep; and you can bet your bippy he wasn't going to sleep in a crib, bassinet, Rock'n'Play, or swing, especially at night. 
  • He loves to cuddle. Forrest is all about the comfort. He loves his pacifier. He loves his fluffy blanket. He doesn't like being in the car seat. He likes to be held. That's pretty much it: he likes to be held when he sleeps and that's just the way it is. 
  • He looks (and acts) just like his dad. Sunday morning, Danny woke up, stretched his arms behind his head, and tilted his head back--which is exactly what Forrest does when he starts to wake up. Besides a few simple mannerisms, Forrest looks pretty much just like his dad. 
  • He weighs almost 8 pounds. He may actually be 8 pounds now! We are going to Baby Connection (a weekly breastfeeding and weigh in group) to see how much he weighs. Wish us luck! Last week he was 7lbs 15oz. 
  • He has outgrown most of his newborn sized clothes. Remember how freaked out I was in the hospital because he had so few newborn sized clothes? Well, he's essentially worn the same 10-15 onesies in rotation since... but the other day, I went to put on a onesie we'd received from my friend Libby and it was too small. #chunkybaby
  • We are getting better at breastfeeding together. If I pick the exact right moment to try to nurse him, he doesn't scream at me for 10 minutes before latching. This is amazing progress for us (and reduces my stress regarding pumping what feels like 100 times a day). At least once a day, we have a great nursing session. 
  • He can roll from his tummy to his back. A big part of this is momentum, plain and simple. It's not purposeful rolling yet, but it is rolling. 

Forrest is both the most rewarding and the most emotionally draining project I have ever taken on. I spend all day (and night, to be honest) focused on the needs and wants of a tiny human who has absolutely no concept of who I am. He also has no other way to communicate other than screaming, which can be a little wearing after a while emotionally. (I'm really looking forward to his first smiles. Any interaction other than bewilderment and anger will be amazing.) However, I remind myself that I have successfully fed Forrest breastmilk for almost an entire month and he has gained almost two pounds from that alone--and that keeps me going, even when he won't stop screaming. 

Having a baby has changed me so suddenly and completely that it's a little scary. I did not expect to change personally so much and certainly, it's been harder than I ever could have imagined--but when I get the privilege of holding Forrest as he sleeps for hours upon hours, I realize that eventually there will be a day where he doesn't want to sleep on me anymore and I'll miss these days. So here's to our first month as parents--and many more months from here on.