I promise, seriously, that not every post I write will be about being pregnant. Except this one will be. And maybe a few more. Ok, to be honest, I hate when people get pregnant and it becomes their entire life. I've been a major mommy blog hater for a long time--especially if that blogger started as a non-mommy blogger--and I probably will always be. There is something gross about pimping your kids out for content on the internet.
That being said, being pregnant is very all-consuming. Being pregnant dictates things you can and cannot do. For example, I can't get dental work until my 2nd trimester (sorry fillings I've put off for a year!), nor can I even get dental x-rays or a cleaning. I can't drink. I can't eat pepperoni or hot dogs or anything with nitrates. I can't drink caffeine. (If you know me, you know giving up Diet Pepsi/Diet Coke is serious.) I have to take prenatal vitamins and occasionally milk of magnesia, dear god. Sometimes, I gag when I clear my throat.
I have found though that life is better if we don't talk about all the stuff I have to give up, like another trip to Disneyland (sniffle), tuna fish sandwiches, and feeling non-queasy at any given point throughout the day. This is difficult because the question I most often get asked is: "Do you miss ______ yet?" With that blank containing one of the following: coffee; caffeine; fish; sushi; everything; or not being pregnant.
It's hard to be pregnant in a world where so often being pregnant is focused on the things that happen to me and that I can't have. Pregnancy is so often depicted as a time of vomiting, caffeine deprivation, and general bitchiness. Which, yeah, I mean, that's not wrong.
But there is more to being pregnant than feeling sick, mean, and tired. There is a lot more to pregnancy than giving up caffeine and effective painkillers for 9 months.
Danny and I have decided that every time I get upset about something I can't have, we will turn the conversation to talk about what we will have. That is a baby. I will have a baby. Isn't that way better than a cup of coffee or a Diet Pepsi? As much as I totally would love a hot dog, I'm way more excited about a baby (my baby!) than a hot dog.
My mom has been pretty shocked by my lack-of-sickness. True: I feel like reheated crap most days, nauseous from morning until evening. However, I haven't thrown up nearly as much as I expected to, given my mom's and my sister's history with morning sickness. My mom always tells me though, "The end result is the same. You get a baby."
There are a lot of things in pregnancy that exist on a person-by-person basis. Some women get implantation bleeding and put a lot of stock in it... but a vast majority of women just don't get it. (Personally, it felt like I'd done a killer ab work out on the day where I think the embryo implanted properly.) It's the same with spotting, with morning sickness, with fatigue.
To often, people want to simplify pregnancy into a list, a set of symptoms, a state of mind. But it's way more than that. Yeah, I really miss all the stuff I don't get to eat and drink and enjoy right now. I really, genuinely do miss my morning coffee. I also really miss being able to stay up past, like, 7pm.
But instead of focusing on what pregnancy "should" be like, I think it's more important to focus on how life-changing the next few months will be. In the next few months, I can make memories that last forever, that I can tell my baby about. I'd rather focus on that--not on what I can't do or have right now.