My October 2019 Wrap Up

Sometimes, when I write these wrap up posts, I like to look at last year’s post, just to see how different it is. If I had to put a time stamp on it, I would put October last year as when I started to have a really rough time, not just with blogging, but with my own mental health. The last year has been really hard, with the last 3-4 months being particularly challenging.

I do feel sometimes like I’m writing about this a little too much. How many times can people read “I’m having a hard time right now” without thinking, aren’t you always having a hard time? And yeah, it sure does feel like that doesn’t it. But often, my “hard times” get cut by me forcing myself to do things: signing up for Barre classes, going to meetings even though I feel miserable, joining stock photo subscription services to improve my social media.

What I’m saying is: it’s hard to have on-going, longterm depression, no matter what, but there is something uniquely awful about having high functioning depression. My home never looks totally wrecked; I can’t stay in bed even if I want to (because if nothing else, I have to take care of Forrest); the things I need to do get done. People think I’m ok, but I’m not; they just think I’m a bit of whiner, or an asshole, or both.

All that to say: this year is hard for a lot of people. I didn’t expect for October to be a great month, but I thought perhaps it would be a bit better than it was. October is my favorite month, but part of me can’t wait for it to be over and gone. There were so many things I wanted badly to happen, that didn’t; plans I made that went completely awry; and goals that I just couldn’t reach. I’m making the teeniest, tiniest baby steps towards being better.

One thing that fills me with a small amount of terror about writing all that out is this: in blogging, it often seems best to present yourself as a completed project. It would be very easy for me to slip on a mask and say, I’m a freelance writer now! I’m doing great! I have all the answers! I’m hitting goals and doing well and not crying about Christmas pajamas on a Sunday morning! I don’t lie awake at night wishing that I hadn’t been laid off in July! But that’s just not true. I’m a beginner in this life and it’s not one I really planned on. I still don’t know what I’m doing somedays, as a content marketer or as a parent. I wish I could tell you the exact answers for everything, but I can’t! It’s ok to be a beginner. We don’t emerge fully formed as expert businesswomen ready to sell someone an ebook about how they, too, can be an expert businessman.

Anyway, without further ado, let’s talk about everything that happened this month.

1. Embracing body confidence.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 4, 2019 at 9:20am PDT

(Trigger warning for content!)

I didn’t know how to include this in a heading, but I’m been working on my body confidence lately. Some days are better than others. It’s so very, very easy to indulge in body positivity… for other people. I think like most people who are conscious right now I’m slightly enamored with Lizzo; I wish I could have her behind me, every moment of every day, telling me to believe in myself, that I am lovely and perfect as I am. But it’s hard to embrace my inner Lizzo (is my positive subconscious named Lizzo now!? Yes) when my inner mean ass editor is saying, “you look like a tree trunk” at the same time.

One of the hardest parts of depression for me is that I always gain just enough weight to not fit into about 65% of my wardrobe. I truly don’t care that much, but not having clothes to wear everyday is painful and embarrassing. Day to day, I feel fine in my larger body, but when I’m trying to get dressed and just slightly too large for everything I own? Good god, can my body just stop?

2. We went to a pumpkin patch.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 12, 2019 at 7:55pm PDT

Would it be an October without a trip to the pumpkin patch!? We actually made it twice, once with Danny’s parents and once for Forrest’s first field trip! On our first trip, we indulged in some apple cider donuts from Thistledown Farms in Eugene, which were so delicious. After Forrest’s field trip, he and I carved the pumpkin he picked out, ate cookies together, and talked about his favorite part of the pumpkin patch (the cow train). I’ve loved pumpkins since I was very, very small and pumpkin was one of Forrest’s first words (“pummy”), so this season always means a lot to me. It combines many of my loves.

3. I turned 31.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 20, 2019 at 9:25am PDT

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be surprised with a party on my birthday.

This is somewhat of a pipe dream. I actually hate surprises and I’m type A so I’m involved in everything in everyone else’s life. But I’ve always wanted something like a surprise party. I want to be surprised on my birthday in some way, whether it’s with breakfast or a trip or something. It goes without saying: another year has gone by and this hasn’t happened. It’s no one’s fault, as it’s not like I’m telling everyone, “please surprise me on my birthday.”

A few years ago, I remember I was chatting with someone about birthdays. Mine was coming up and she asked if I was doing anything. My birthday fell on a weekday that year, so I said, “oh no one cares about birthdays! My coworkers don’t even acknowledge it. No one gives a shit.” She looked at me like I was absolutely insane. I have since realized that this is an attitude I’ve adopted in order to protect myself; I want people to care about my birthday, but I worry that, like usual, they won’t (or that asking them to is selfish and they will think I’m awful), so I act like my birthday isn’t a really big deal, even though I want it to be a big deal.

Anyway, this is all to say: the things we do to protect ourselves from pain are odd and varied and, really, how do they come up?

My birthday was a really hard day. Forrest had trouble sleeping, due to being ill, so I was up at 3 in the morning. Once Fo went back to sleep, I just sat up crying. Danny went to the store to get breakfast and some flowers for me. (This was a very sweet gesture and I don’t want him to think I didn’t appreciate it, but, again, it’s one of those things where it’s not a surprise if I know he’s doing it!)

That same day, my niece was born, which was very exciting. We ended up going to the hospital to see her, which was a nice way to distract myself from how sad I felt otherwise. I did treat myself to some new clothes at Target as well.

4. I started thinking about 2020 goals.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 24, 2019 at 12:10pm PDT

I wrote a whole post about it, but one of my big goals for 2020 is to really improve my mental health, implement a solid routine into each day, and work on everything I’ve been working on in therapy. Admitting that I haven’t been doing well (and that being laid off really compounded some pre-existing issues, all while trying to launch my own business or find a way to make money) has been a huge step in opening up and moving past issues that I’ve had for at least 10+ years.

I know many others are thinking of 2020 goals and I just want to always remind everyone (and myself) that our goals are for us, not for other people.

5. I did a lot of cooking & baking.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 25, 2019 at 9:05am PDT

I’ve been in such a cooking mood! Not really for dinner, but just generally. (Ha, isn’t that the worst?!) Every day at 4pm, I make Forrest a pb&j and try to think of something for Danny and I. But when it comes to our lunches each day, I’ve been really pulling out all the stops: squash soup, stir fries, daily smoothies. You know, good stuff. I’ve been baking a lot too; I made my own birthday cake, cookies three times, scones, bread, biscuits.

6. I started working on my inner confidence.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 27, 2019 at 3:05pm PDT

One thing my therapist and I have talked about a lot is my lack of confidence in just about everything I do. I often hear from people that I come off as quite timid, which I don’t necessarily feel, but that probably is a reflection of the fact that I look for cues of approval from just about everyone. I talked about how I often do things only with the thought of others approval in mind. I clean my house not for me, but to make sure no one else thinks I’m messy and to impress (whoever). I apply for jobs to get the validation that I’m good at what I do (and when I don’t get them, I end up defeated and convinced I’m not good at what I do). Learning how to feel validated myself is overwhelming and complicated and hard, but it’s necessary work and I want to do it, not just for myself, but for Forrest.

I know a lot of this wrap up is very wishy-washy not concrete stuff. But I feel like October has been a rough month (I cried so much, guys), but also a month of intense self-growth. I hope you had a great October and here’s to a better November!

Setting Goals for November (& 2020!)

I’ll be honest: I really didn’t think my 31st trip around this planet would be quite this dramatic. While the past 3 months have been particularly rough, it’s generally been kind of a weird year for me. Actually, the last several years have been super weird in ways I wasn’t always totally prepared for. In many ways, I’ve lost a lot of the wind in my sails that I had previously. My motivation? Gone. My productivity? Non-existent.

I’m working on getting better about it (and part of it is going to therapy and improving other parts of my life that need it).

Several years ago (like in… 2013?) I started doing this thing where I set small goals for myself every single day to pull myself out of a pretty serious slump. I would basically try to do something specific every single day for a week, then pick something else the next week—basically to get myself back into the groove of doing those things. I remember one of my goals being “making my own dinner” (instead of like eating cereal out of a box) everyday and another being “get dressed” every day. Those little baby steps really helped me at that time and I’ve realized I need to start doing things like that now.

It feels so weird to me sometimes that for a long stretch of my life, I was so regimented, motivated, and on top of everything in my life—granted, I was in college, so it wasn’t really that hard. But man! How things have changed!

The hard part is that, of course, I have a lot more responsibilities than I did in 2013 and sometimes they can be incredibly overwhelming in a way that I don’t know how to deal with.

Anyway, that’s a very personal intro to say: I, just like everyone else, am working on who I am and who I want to be; I want to be a better version of myself and I assume you also want to be a better version of yourself; and I hope that learning about my process can help you a little bit. Ultimately, my goal for blogging has always been to share a little bit of my life and help other people in whatever way I can—whether you are looking for a new foundation or are anxious about your career.

As I said, setting small goals has been a huge help to me in the past. For the past week, I’ve been hemming and hawing about how to get myself back in gear and feeling like myself again. What can I do to make things easier? I’ve reorganized my planners & journals, I’ve starting writing down a master to do list of everything I’ve been avoiding for 3 months, and I’ve written down a series of baby steps to help myself get back on the wagon. I wanted to walk through a few of my goals, share what I’m doing, and how I’m implementing everything.

So, without further ado, here are my goals for the end of October into November, and how they translate into my long-term goals for 2020.

1. Pick one weekly goal every week.

I have a planner from 52 Lists (which I highly recommend!) and I’ve started using it to keep track of my weekly master to do list (basically, the to list I have had basically exactly the same for about 12 weeks now), as well as my weekly goals. Here are a few examples of my weekly goals for the next several weeks:

• Take a walk daily.

• Speak to someone besides Danny, my mom, or Forrest every day.

• Journal.

• Get dressed and/or make myself presentable.

I know a lot of those seems really basic (get dressed!?) but let me tell you: the past 6 months have been some of the hardest for me in terms of doing basic, every day “normal” tasks. It goes without saying that I haven’t been having an easy time. It’s hard to talk about, but in many ways, I’m trying to reteach myself how to function every single day as someone other than Forrest’s mother. When things were hardest for me, and I was at my most low mentally, it was easiest for me to channel everything into “do it for Forrest, just get Forrest to school” or “just make sure Forrest is fed and happy”, which took the onus off of me. It was mentally a relief, but I’ve been wearing leggings + baggy t-shirt everyday for a year and a half now; it’s probably time to do something about that.

Anyway, I’m working on getting myself back into the swing of things. Speaking of which…

2. Create & maintain a schedule.

The hardest part of having a child has been the lack of schedule sometimes. When you’re a stay-at-home-mom, you aren’t going anywhere. No one is depending on you, or asking you for anything.

In 2014 and 2015, I was going to work everyday. Waking up, taking a shower, getting dressed, going to work. After I had Forrest, that schedule started to erode. No one really talks about this (or maybe they do, I just haven’t seen it), but having a child really does throw everything sideways. For 3 and a half years, I’ve woken up at 5:30 am or earlier and immediately had a small person attached to me. Maybe sometimes, he napped away from me, but most of the time, he didn’t. If I woke up in the morning, I might have time to make coffee, but not shower; I might have enough time to get dressed in somethings besides leggings (or, maybe not!!), but showering was often out of the question. My schedule eroded. It became wake up to crying baby, get him, feed him, get him changed and dressed, make coffee in a rush, put on clothes that don’t make me feel awful about myself, and get him to my mom’s so I could get to work. Or, if I was home with him, it was jumping into whatever activity I had planned, doing laundry, cleaning, or whatever.

Basically: I need a schedule again. I have to start taking care of myself in the morning again.

It’s challenging because Forrest already wakes up early, so waking up any earlier is extremely painful. Parenthood makes you tired. I’m also 31 now (happy birthday to me!) and I need more sleep than ever, it feels like. Stress, anxiety, depression, and a constant heavy mental load mean I’m just a lot more tired than I used to be—and probably have a headache on top of it.

However, even if I’m working at home, I realize I need a schedule. I need to have expectations. Even if it means just putting on a bra and a different pair of leggings for the day at home with Forrest, that’s probably enough.

So, yes, one of my biggest goals for November and December is starting to have structure in my life again. I need it, I’ve missed it, and I’ve got to do it if I want to feel better anytime soon.

3. Finish NaNoWriMo.

It goes without saying: my biggest goal for November is to finish NaNoWriMo!!! I’m really excited for my story this year and it’s honestly the one thing propelling me through what has been a not-so-great month otherwise.

4. Plan & launch one product before March 2020.

Some of the sneakiest of my readers noticed I had casually added a Products page to my website and then promptly removed it. (It technically still exists, but is in progress!) I’ve had this idea to start selling small ebooks for about a year now, but it makes me nervous. I launched an e-course as a tester a few months ago and it seriously fizzled, but that was partly my fault. One of the things I find most difficult is creating buzz for my own content and really selling it. I don’t like being a salesman, but I’ve realized if I want to be in control of my own life and work, I need to try something different—and selling myself as a freelance writer (and a good one!) means doing sales.

I’ve had several ideas for ebooks and workbooks for a long time, but actually going through with it has been incredibly challenging. I’m my own worst critic and I realize I just need to do it, if I’m ever actually going to get anything done. So yes!! Watch this space!!

5 Essentials for a Cozy Night In

I’ve never been much for going out in the evening—although there is something delightfully nostalgic about late, Autumn nights out with friends. When school starts back again and you have a football game to go to, or you just spend the evening at someone else’s house… everything just feels a bit surreal on those evenings, with the leaves changing, the temperature just a smidge colder than you remember it being barely 3 weeks ago when you were spending summer nights outside. But that being said: I would much rather spend my evening at home rather than going out.

Forrest’s sleep schedule has been bonkers the last few weeks, so Danny and I haven’t gotten as many of our cozy nights together as we like. However, he’s finally figuring things out and getting better, so we’re already planning an Autumnal movie marathon (which is our personal favorite way to spend the evening in Fall). I thought I’d share a few of those cozy night essentials that everyone needs—with some links to my favorite products.

1. A Hot Toddy

Do you like hot drinks? Over the past year, I’ve definitely become more of an iced coffee person—but my day doesn’t start without a hot, cup of coffee. And sometimes in the evening, there is nothing like a good hot toddy or nice cup of tea. I had originally planned to have 4 of my favorite drink recipes up today, but I still have to photograph one of them. Instead, I’ll share these for now: my 4 favorite autumnal teas (still my top 4 Fall favorites!) and 4 hot toddies just for the holidays. Whip up your favorite, settle into the couch, and get ready to be cozy.

2. A good movie

As I’ve said, I have extremely specific movie preferences, but if you’re in need of motivation, here are a few posts I’ve written on the matter:

• My Favorite Movies to Watch in October

• My Top 5 Must-Watch Scary Movies

3. A good board game

Danny is a huge fan of board games and I, unfortunately, am not necessarily. I’ll play, but I don’t love it. He’s always quite fond of card games and has somehow talked my entire family into being obsessed with Cover Your Assets. If you’re indifferent to games and love them, they’re a great way to spend a cozy evening that isn’t watching TV or playing on your phone (although I will personally be curled into a ball on the couch playing with my phone).

4. Your (new) favorite cuddly socks

Little known Michelle fact: I am deeply, deeply obsessed with socks.

One of my weirdest OCD triggers is stepping on any sort of debris in my house in my bare feet, so to minimize this (since it’s impossible to keep your floors 100% clean when you have a dog and a preschooler), I wear slippers and socks nearly constantly in my house. I go through 2-3 pairs of slippers every single year, but in the winter, I start wearing heavy socks.

I, of course, have sock recommendations if you love cozy socks. These are also great under boots if you live in a colder climate, but I mostly wear them around the house so my feet don’t absolutely freeze.

• This 5-pack of socks is amazing; Danny got me a different pattern pack probably 5 years ago and they are still in my weekly rotation.

• These socks are insanely thick and sherpa-lined (which, as we have established, is one of my favorite things… ever.)

• If you want something that is more slipper and less sock, I highly recommend these slipper socks.

5. Good snacks

Who doesn’t love snacks?! I’m sure there is someone out there and you know what? You are valid. (Also, please send me your tips for hating snacks. Thanks.)

Danny and I usually try to have one very healthy snack alongside something slightly more indulgent: we might pick, say, a Daily Harvest* smoothie to share plus Doritos. Or pretzel chips dipped in Hungryroot Almond Butter and buttery popcorn. It’s about balance. On a cozy night in, we like to have a small spread of snacks to eat: fruits & veggies, smoothies, chips, pretzels, a good mix of sweet and savory. Keeping things balanced can keep us from feeling that specific “food hangover” feeling in the morning.

(Psssst… not to be a total shill, but if you want to try Daily Harvest, they have some amazing Autumnal smoothies & harvest bowls right now—and they just introduced grain bowls! You can use my code PAUSES for 3 free cups in your first order!)

My Favorite Scary Stories

Danny and I always say there is a shortage of good, horror novels. There are some out there in the world, but really good horror novels (that are on-par quality and writing wise with other novels) are so hard to find. As I was writing notes for this post, I kept asking him: have we read anything really scary in the last year?

Neither of us could think of anything that was really, really good. Or October-y. Or spooky.

But we did put together a list of novels that were straight up scary the first time we read them—while also being really well written. I wanted to share that list because these are the spookiest books I could think of to read this month.

1. It by Stephen King

I know! I know! This one’s easy, right? But It is one of my favorite books of all time (minus that one weird scene and you all know what I’m talking about). I’m generally not actually a huge Stephen King fan. I know that’s borderline sacrilegious, but I honestly just don’t like his writing style. Also, he has the bad habit of writing very badly about women like, 65% of the time. Case in point: the way child Beverly is described in this book is one of the most problematic parts of it, and that doesn’t include the infamous scene in the sewers. She’s 11? 12? Dude, calm down.

But problems aside, It is a good book: it’s good at building slow dread and describing the way fear permeates a town. It’s a massive book, and can be slightly slow, but god, it’s worth it.

2. Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll

This is one of the best books I read in 2017 and I stand by this: it’s scary as all hell. Luckiest Girl Alive is about a girl who went to a boarding school, survived a school shooting, and grows up to be a magazine columnist. Except, there’s more to the story. It is a harrowing story and the description of the shooting itself is one of the hardest chapters of a book I’ve ever read. The main character is simultaneously relatable (her obsession with her weight, her hard exterior, her desire to climb socially), but extremely unlikeable (for all the same reasons and more). The way she grows as a person throughout the story—both when she was younger and when she’s older—is great. It’s a fascinating, scary, well-written book. I actually just ordered a physical copy so I could read it again and make up the margins.

3. All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

I read All the Missing Girls in the Spring and loved it. I immediately thought, I’ll come back to this later. It’s a perfect murder mystery to read in the Fall. The way it’s written is probably the best part: it starts at the end and works its way backwards, then moves to the end again. I love a good small town murder mystery and this one is a great read. Twists, turns, small towns, repressed memories… it has it all.

4. I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll

This was another book I read in early 2018, I think, that I absolutely loved. It’s the story of a woman who overhears two girls on a train meeting two boys and agreeing to go party. When a few days later, one of the girls is reported missing, she tells what she knows to the police. Then, things begin to spiral. It’s a great, creepy store that, again, revolves around a mystery. This is another book I need to reread!

Tell me your favorite scary stories! Do you have a book that scared the pants off of you? A short story I need to read immediately?

Are You A Blogger? Here Are 5 Props Perfect for Autumn

Blogging can be hard business. Taking photos is one of my favorite and least favorite parts of it. Sometimes, I really thrive. (I really hit my strive last December.) And sometimes, I’m like, I forgot how to use my camera. (The last, like, 5 months.) I keep a running Amazon wishlist of props that I like; things I see in photos that I love and want to try, or things that I think would add interest and help my photos be a little more visually appealing.

I thought I’d share a few of these props for Autumn, because we could all use a little inspiration sometimes.

1. These Color-Changing Twinkle Lights

These would be perfect for Autumn (orange! purple!) or for Christmas (multi color!), but they would also be kind of pretty for just putting up in my office. I love using twinkle lights in photos because they can help improve the light situation, plus they just look really pretty. These ones are incredibly affordable and really long.

2. Photo Backdrops

Browsing tableux or flatlay backdrops on Amazon is actually a part-time job, it feels like. There are so many options. I personally love these ones because they come with a storage solution (!!!) and you get a huge variety with your purchase. Back in the day, so many bloggers ordered marble vinyl to put on foam whiteboards or pieces of wood. Now, we can just buy a few sets at once. How times have changed!

3. A Ring Dish

Having little dishes, or bowls, in your photos, especially beauty photos, can take the photo from a basic product photo to a scene. I like buying small, cheap ring dishes to use as props. You can use them for anything (jewelry, rings, candy, make up, whatever) and you can find tons of designs. I like this one with constellations, but there are some with beautiful autumnal patterns.

4. A Scarf or Fabric to Add Visual Interest

Want backdrops but don’t want to spend $35 on backdrops that you’re not sure if you’ll use? Let me let you in on my secret: I often use fabric. I have a ton of plaid scarves that I use as photo backdrops throughout the year. I also usually buy a yard or two of fabric that I like if I see some that I think would work, like plaids or small patterns. This is a great affordable options for backdrops: use something you already own or spend $5 instead of $35.

5. A Small Ring Light

Light in Autumn is always a problem. By the time I’m ready to take photos, the sun is gone, it’s dark outside, or it’s pouring down rain. This mini ring light holds your cell phone, but you can also use it as a lighting source for your photos. Use it to film Instagram stories or IGTV videos, then use as a lighting source when you need it. It’s only $13!

Have props you love? Share your tips & tricks in the comments!

My Top 10 Autumn Essentials

Are you ready for a very basic, self-indulgent post? Well, here you go. Your wish is my command!

I know often people ask me what makes me so excited for Autumn. It’s hard to put words on why you like something that you just inherently like. For me, Autumn reminds me of school (I loved school and continue to wish I could be in school forever); Autumn was my birthday season; Autumn had Thanksgiving and beautiful leaves and cozy evenings at home. Autumn had my piano recitals, which I remember for scratchy dresses and standing in a cold hallway waiting to play.

(Here’s a funny story: I thought I had finished and scheduled this post yesterday and was super confused when I didn’t see it go up. Then, realized I hadn’t actually finished it… then I wrote it, accidentally exited without saving it, and now I’m just a wreck.)

I felt like if I had to boil it down, I would probably pick these 10 things as my favorite things about Autumn and/or the things I need the most to make the season happy for me. I’d love to hear what people love or consider essential to their season!

1. Decorative Candles

I normally am pro-scented candles and find the LED light candles kind of hokey… but ever since I had Forrest, I’m more careful about candles. These ones are perfect for a little ambient light in the evening without having to worry about Forrest bumping into them or knocking them over.

These are also great if you have cats, as cats can be super disruptive to candles.

2. Autumn-scented oils

Another alternative to scented candles? Scented oils. This brand can be used for soap making or to diffuse. If you’re nervous about scented candles, these are a great alternative. I have this Autumn set and, dang, it’s so good! Every time I use it, people ask what I have baking! They also make some winter and Christmas themed sets, as well as a Halloween set that looks amazing. Diffusing is a cheap and safe way for people with kids and pets to scent their homes. However, make sure to check the ingredients and your specific pets; some oils aren’t good for pets to get on their skin or inhale.

3. Cozy Sweaters

Did you think I’d skip this?! I’m a sweater girl; if I could wear sweaters year round, I probably would. I hate t-shirts. I hate blouses. I hate anything fussy.

I have this one from H&M, as well as this one from American Eagle that I’m absolutely living in lately. There are a few things I look for in a sweater:

• soft with no wool at all

• baggy

• a neck line that won’t ride up as I’m trying to fix my forward leaning neck (listen, I’ve been using computers like 8 hours a day for 7+ years, it’s a struggle)

4. Good Rain Boots

Growing up, I never owned rain boots. In Oregon, most people operate under the belief that you don’t need day-to-day rain gear unless you’re doing something like hiking or camping. So, yes, every time it rained when I was younger (which was… like, every day of Fall, Winter, and Spring), I just had wet shoes, wet hair, and wet clothes.

I’ve been trying to walk more in the evenings, which I found has helped my stress level a lot. For my birthday, I asked for a pair of good rain boots and friends, Danny delivered. He got them for me early, since it is already cold and rainy here in Oregon. Danny got me these rain boots from Ugg in hunter green. I am obsessed with them.

5. A Good Rain Jacket

Re: rain gear never being a priority… I wanted a good rain jacket this year too. I’ve been searching for the perfect rain jacket (not a coat—I just want something light I can layer over sweaters and dresses). I am particularly attracted to this one. I ended up ordering this one, however, because it’s sherpa lined; I love sherpa everything, obviously. It just looked a little warmer for my early morning walks, plus I liked the olive green color. I’ve been wearing it basically nonstop on my more casual days and gosh, I really love it.

6. Mini Pumpkins

Me walking into the grocery store: stressed, a little angry

Me seeing the little baby pumpkins I can now buy at the grocery store: happy

7. Cozy Movies

Hocus Pocus has been on Freeform nearly every single day of October so far, which is good/a problem because I will literally sit down and watch it every single time. So, I’ve watched Hocus Pocus every single day of October so far.

I love a few, very specific movies for rainy, cold Autumn nights (Hocus Pocus, Trick or Treat, and Coraline), as well as very specific movies for foggy early Autumn mornings (the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Harry Potter movies) and very specific movies for crisp, Autumn afternoons (Monster House, the Addams Family, and Nightmare Before Christmas*). It just depends on the vibe, you know?

*Danny always argues with me that this is not a Halloween/October movie, but I disagree. I think it is a rare breed of movie that can be watched from September 1-January 1. Please vote in this extremely important poll, thank you.

8. Early Morning Rain

In our new house, our bedroom is in the back of the house and the way the gutters are arranged (we have a lower section just below our bedroom window, so a lot of gutters meet right outside our window) means that we hear the rain about 100 times louder than at our old house. At first, it kind of scared me, because I thought a pipe had burst. It sounded like running water! But now it’s just plain soothing. I love waking up to the gentle sound of rain—it helps that my nightly sleep noise is rain as well.

9. Good Coffee

I have accidentally cultivated a “my personality type is COFFEE” behavior in the last few years, which was unintentional. But I went so long not liking coffee that now coffee is a bit novel. That being said: I like coffee all the time, but something about coffee on a foggy, Autumn morning is just different and better.

10. A Fluffy Blanket

I am a blanket fanatic; Danny makes fun of me because during the winter, I often sleep with our comforter, plus two blankets. I like the weight of a good, thick blanket. I like soft blankets, sherpa or fleece or preferably both. I’m less concerned with aesthetics, but my blankets have to be something I’ll use. Smaller, heavy, thick, soft blankets are my favorite. If I’m sitting down in my house, I undoubtedly have a blanket on or near me. I have an office blanket, a bedroom blanket, a couch blanket… It’s a problem. (No, it’s not.)

My Autumn Skincare Routine

Darker mornings (ugh). Rainy weather (yay). Rapid weather changes (ugh). Turning on the heat (… ugh?). There are lots of things about Autumn (or any change in season!) that can throw your skin, and body, and sinuses, into disarray.

A prime example: I spent all day Tuesday with itchy, watery eyes. Did you know Fall allergies exist? Well, apparently they do. One allergy pill later and I felt right as rain, but wow, what a surprise.

Another example: in two weeks, we have gone from summer (80+ degrees every day) to pouring rain (literally, 7 straight days of rain, rain, rain) to colder temperatures (it didn’t get over 45 degrees until 1pm the other day). Those rapid weather changes can do a number to just about everything in your life. Plus, turning on the heat can cause your home to get drier, which in turn can effect your skin.

That’s right: we’re talking about my favorite topic of all time. Skincare!

It’s been a minute since I posted about skincare. To be fully transparent, part of why I stopped posting so much beauty content was because: 1) it wasn’t popular here on the old blog or on Instagram and 2) I kind of fell out of love with skincare for a little while. It started to feel arduous rather than fun—and nothing is worse than when a hobby because a huge pain in the ass, am I right?

However, in the past few weeks, I’ve been getting back into it, slowly but surely. I wanted to share my new, improved skincare routine that is helping me survive these rapid weather changes and the new season. Let’s jump right in.

1. Morning cleanser: ItCosmetics Confidence in a Cleanser | Evening cleanser: Murad AHA/BHA Exfoliating Cleanser

I love ItCosmetics, but I didn’t realize they had a cleanser until recently. And baby—is this a cleanser or what! It smells like lemongrass and is super moisturizing. I use it after I oil cleanse (plain jojoba oil, then wiped with a reusable wipe) and I make sure to wash my face for 60 seconds total. (If you aren’t following the 60 second rule, get on it!) It makes my skin feel so soft and ready for the day.

In the evening, I typically either use ItCosmetics again or my Murad AHA/BHA exfoliating cleanser. I received the Murad cleanser in one of my Ipsy Glam Bag Plus (es?) bags, making the entire Glam Bag Plus experience worth it. (You can read that review here.) It is exfoliating, so I don’t use it every day, but I have noticed with all these weather changes, that my skin texture has been fart noise, you know. Every 2 or 3 days, I use this in the evening. As a note of warning, you shouldn’t use this in the morning because AHA/BHA can make your skin even more sensitive to the sun!

2. Morning toner: Pixi Glow Mist | Evening Toner: Peter Thomas Roth Peptide Peel Pads

I received the Pixie Glow Mist in another Glam Bag Plus (review here). I use it in the morning because I find have a bit of extra moisture helps me apply foundation or concealer, or whatever I’m wearing that day. Plus, it just smells good and feels decadent to put on a face mist.

In the evening, I use the Peter Thomas Roth Peptide Peel Pads. (I reviewed the entire Peter Thomas Roth Peptide collection here.) I repurchased these peel pads because I liked them so much; they definitely help with my skin’s texture and my acne, plus they’ve helped reduce my redness and acne scars. A win-win. They can be quite strong, so if I notice my skin feeling sensitive, I’ll skip them for a night and just use more Glow Mist.

3. Morning Moisturizer: Purlisse Blue Lotus Daily SPF 30 | Evening Moisturizer: Sunday Riley CEO Vitamin C Cream + Purlisse Watermelon Aqua Balm

All three of these are also from Ipsy, which really seems like a shill, doesn’t it? I swear it isn’t, but why waste product?

Everyone should be wearing an SPF 30 or HIGHER, applied in the morning. Period, I won’t be discussing it any further! I like this one from Purlisse because it isn’t too heavy and doesn’t leave a white cast on me. (I want to note here: I have no idea if this would leave a white cast on darker skin. I tried searching for some reviews, but can’t find anything. If you know or have used it, please let me know and I’ll update accordingly!)

At night, I mix a small dollop of the Sunday Riley CEO Vitamin C cream (still reeling that this costs $85 a pop!) with a squeeze of the Purlisse Watermelon Aqua Balm. I love how the CEO cream makes my skin feel, but it is so heavy; the aqua balm helps cut it a little bit and not leave me feeling disgusting.

4. Products I Might Use

Dr. Lipp Original Nipple Balm: It’s actually just lip balm, but honestly, you could use it on your nipples if you’re breastfeeding (or just feel like you need it, no shame). I use this for my extremely dry lips that I get whenever the season changes, the dry spots I get under my ears in the winter (it’s eczema, I know it is, please), and anything else that might call for it (like a sore nose from a cold). It’s unscented and lovely. I actually used all of the tube I received as a sample and bought another one. I’m very cheap, so that’s a testament to how much I like it.

Hello FAB Coconut Water Cream: I love moisturizers and this one is very, very light. If my skin is feeling sensitive, but not exactly dry, I like to use this one. It’s great for when I’m breaking out and don’t want to feel even more like a grease ball. It is a little expensive, but I feel like it’s worth it. (And if you can snag a sample from Ipsy, it’s even more worth it!)

NEOGEN White Truffle Oil Serum: When my skin needs a little extra TLC, oil is where it’s at! I use this before my moisturizer and let it dry for 10 minutes. It’s technically an oil, but it absorbs like a serum, so it won’t act like a sealant. I like to use this at least once a week, just for that little extra added boost.

IBOM Lemon Verbena Clay Mask: This is one of my favorite masks at the moment. It smells amazing and, like any good clay mask, helps suck all the impurities out of your skin. Oil, acne, whatever you need to purge, this mask is ready and waiting. It does have some exfoliating elements so I don’t use this when my skin is particularly dry or sensitive, and I rinse very gently.

There you have it! My skincare routine, start to finish, morning and evening. How do you switch up your routine in the Fall?

How I Deal with Darker Mornings & Evenings

It’s well-established that I do not like the summer months. However, every single Fall, when the nights start coming earlier and I start waking up at 7am to pitch black outside… I’m shocked. I always kind of forget how early it gets dark in the Fall and Winter.

And as much as I love Fall, it is kind of a bummer to wake up totally in the dark every single morning. It can be really hard to start happy & healthy with such early nights and late mornings.

I live in Oregon, which can also be a bit dismal the entire Winter: it can be rainy & cloudy for days, weeks, months at a time. And without any snow, there isn’t even any cheery winter vibes either. Just rain, just clouds, just dark mornings spent driving in the rain. I know many can relate when I say that it can get old fast; it can make days feel longer; and it can make your mood go south fast, especially if you’re pre-disposed depression.

People often ask (not just me, but everyone) how to deal with seasonal affective disorder, or just how to deal with those dismal, dark mornings and evenings. I thought I’d share a few tips that have helped me over the years—so I can love Fall without being miserable.

1. Invest in a good light therapy lamp.

A few years ago, Danny & I bought a Happy Lamp, a light therapy lamp, at Costco and it was a total game changer for both of us. We both noticed that during the winter, we both got sluggish and tired. (This has only increased since we had Forrest and I’m beginning to suspect it’s just my life now.) But the Happy Lamp worked a lot: we would turn it on in the evening as we sat and watched TV, or worked in our office. Within a few weeks, we noticed a marked improvement in our moods.

We’ve used it religiously ever since.

We moved in July and now have separate offices, so I’m looking to buy my own light therapy lamp. As I said, we bought ours at Costco and it was around $40, totally worth it. It’s not a sun lamp, exactly, but mimics the light from the sun to help us get more vitamin D. I’ve found a few contenders, but I think I’ll be purchasing this one for my office this year.

2. Establish a routine that brings you joy.

For me, this is:

• Light a candle

• Take a bath

• Read a good book

On days where the darkness is just getting to me, this helps me feel better and break me out of the cycle. It might be different for you though! This definitely isn’t prescriptive. Doing something that makes you happy, that comforts you, is perfect for those dark mornings and evenings. So whether you’re starting your morning with something you love (like going for a run) or ending your day with a good self-care ritual (like a face mask and painting your toenails), find something that brings you joy to lessen the darkness.

3. Get outside.

“But Michelle! It’s pouring down rain/snowing/20 degrees below 0!”

Ok, extreme weather not-withstanding, go outside. I promise! Really! Taking a 10 minute walk outside is better than sitting inside your house until it gets dark, then feeling miserable. Put on a good podcast, lace up your sneakers (or invest in a very good pair of rain boots), and go outside.

4. Talk to your doctor.

If you notice yourself getting really miserable and struggling with how late the dark starts and how early it ends, talk to your doctor.

In the US, seeking mental health help can often be a huge pain in the ass; it’s not accessible to everyone, which is why I’m sharing some other ways to help yourself. But I’m not a doctor! If you’re really struggling, antidepressants might make Fall & Winter just that much more doable for you this year.