5 Tropes Romance Novels Need to Drop

I love romance novels. I never thought I would write that phrase, because I used to hate them--but I don't anymore. Romance novels can be fun, little escapes that are nothing more than pure fun. Nothing serious happens. The heroine always gets the guy. It's all great. 

But the more romance novels I read, the more I realize: some of these tropes are just plain bad... but also so sickeningly common. It feels so easy for romance novels to keep writing the same formulaic story over and over and over... and over... and over... again, for years! It's easy to forget that times outside of the story have changed. 

So here are 5 tropes that romance novels seriously need to drop. If you're a romance writer, avoid these things like the plague. 

1. The controlling, alpha male lead with a tragic past. 

This tragic past conveniently always allows the heroine to forgive him for his downright shitty, abusive behavior. I recently read a romance novel (that I reviewed, rather unkindly, on Goodreads) that featured a romantic lead that was just plain abusive. He was mean; he refused to let the heroine eat if she showed up to dinner late (!!); and he treated her like trash. But when she found out his tragic story, she instantly forgave him. Oh no, no. That's not how life works. Let's drop these male lead characters, shall we? I'm only here for romances that feature diverse, compassionate, kind romantic leads from now on. 

2. The delicate, tiny, virginal heroine, also with a tragic past. 

The heroine in romance novels is always described a very specific way: she is slim, she is tiny, she is long-legged, she is either blonde or has "honey-colored" brown hair (she's never dark-haired, or dark-skinned, or short, or on the plump side). She is also a doormat, universally, with a tragic past that she hasn't received therapy for, but has moved on from pretty quickly. She's also always, always virginal. I'm over it. I'm done. Give me diverse, dynamic, powerful lead, please. 

3. The appropriation of other cultures. 

If I had a nickel for every time a female lead in a romance novel donned the traditional dress of another culture and "pulled it off," I'd have more nickels that I knew what to do with. Can we just drop this trope immediately? If you're lead is a white woman, please don't let her put on a headdress for Coachella, a Cheongsam for a fancy party, or anything else. She can wear a gown or some denim shorts like everyone else. 

4. The insta-love storylines. 

"He touched my hand and it burned through my body." I'm sorry, I know this is fantasy, but no. That's not how it happens. I want storylines where they are "meh" about each other for a while, or where they become friends first and then fall in love. I want storylines that are more about building something, rather than finding something already built and just stepping into it. Less insta-love, more actual romance. 

5. Everyone is rich (everyone).

50 Shades of Grey did the world many disservices, but the number one disservice is introducing the world to the idea that, oh yeah, everyone in a novel can be billionaires! A novel I read recently featured a rich ranch owner who took in a... secretly rich girl who was also a ranch owner. It removes any requirements of plot from the author; when your characters don't have to worry about money, they can spend all their time focusing on the romantic lead. That's boring. I need drama! Less billionaires, please. 

NaNoWriMo Halfway Check In: Why Did I Do This Again?

There is always this point in the month of November where, if anyone asks me how things are or how NaNoWriMo is going, I say something like, "I don't know why I get so excited about doing this every year! I hate it! I'm stressed out!" 

For the first 10 days of November, I was a writing machine. I wrote almost 20,000 words in those 10 days. I felt motivated. I felt powerful. I felt completely capable of kicking NaNoWriMo's butt. 

Then the election happened. 

The day of, I was too anxious to write. As time went on throughout the day, I knew I wasn't going to be able to hit my word count for the day, so it was good I had written up a pretty strong buffer to keep myself from falling behind. 

The next day, however, my motivation was zapped. It felt so pointless. It was the same with my blog. I didn't write hardly anything for two days. I mostly sat and read and thought about stuff. I retweeted things on Twitter. I did the bare minimum in terms of writing. 

I hit a slump pretty badly last week and a lot of it had to do with the social and political upheaval that was going on. 

Another part of it had to do with the fact that I just get so tired. Every single year it happens: around 13 or 14 days in, I just get tired: of writing the same thing, of keeping the same schedule, of pushing myself. Mentally, I end up exhausted by writing so much. It sounds great to write 1500+ words per day--actually, it sounds totally easy. But I also work at a creative job where I write every day too. Writing blog posts, social media, and emails for work, then going home and writing blogs and social media for myself, and then sitting down to write a chapter of a novel? 

Not ideal, creatively. 

However, I think I'm finally on the other side of it. 

Yesterday, I posted a tweet about how I had no motivation to blog. I got responses from three of my favorite people on Twitter saying, essentially, the same thing: you don't have to write every day, you don't have to blog every day, but it's worth it to do so. 

It felt really good to be validated (and to know that people missed my blog!). It also felt really motivating to know that, yes, other people feel in a slump because of the election too; they feel like maybe it's a little pointless to do these things now. 

But another part of me thinks it's more important ever to write--and to write the stories that I, as a woman, want to read. Our world is changing and I'm not 100% sure it's for the better, but the more I use my voice, the better I will feel. Maybe it's pointless--who knows?--but it feels better to keep doing it. 

Then I find myself thinking things like this: The story I'm writing for NaNoWriMo is definitely not life-changing. It's a true crime story centered around 3 best friends in 1970s New Jersey. It's kind of dumb, very self-indulgent, and ultimately just something I had been thinking about for months. 

I write sentences like that and then I think, "But Michelle, you're using your voice to talk about women, to talk about victims, to tell a story that hasn't really been told before." 

OK, self-indulgent. That's fine. But I wouldn't be writing something if it didn't matter, right? 

These are the things I work through every NaNoWriMo, but this is the first time I've ever written about it. Even though I write near constantly and blog all the time as well, I'm very insecure about my writing; I don't like other people reading my writing and I don't really enjoy talking about it. Sometimes people are actually surprised to learn I write both fiction and poetry because I tend to just not mention it. 

As of last night, I had written 35,000 words. I'm 15,000 words away from winning NaNoWriMo which means I can effectively calm down. Last year, I only got to 20,000 words through the entire month of November. That's a huge improvement in terms of "writing after having a baby," at least in my mind. 

And if nothing else, I can at least say, "2016 didn't totally suck. I wrote a novel."

If you'd like to follow my progress on NaNoWriMo (or just want to chat about your NaNo progress), I post occasional updates on Instagram. You can follow me here. 

My Top 5 Writing Tips

Yesterday, I shared my NaNoWriMo prep process. Today, I thought I'd share some tips I have for writing in general--that is, everything from beating writer's block to staying focused. 

I have a typical writing output of about 2,000+ words per day, including tweets, emails, blog posts, and all my day job writing. When I look at it purely as numbers, it feels so incredibly huge: I remember struggling through 2,000 word papers in college and now I consistently write that much in a day... and then I repeat it the next day. 

I have a very specific way I like to write and very rarely does that actually align with what I would consider the "romantic view" of writing. I'm not cuddled up on a rainy evening with a perfect cup of coffee and a lit candle; I'm usually wearing Forrest, who is asleep, listening to his white noise play for the 901st time OR I'm hurriedly trying to get everything done in the one hour my husband has to watch Forrest after work. 

What I'm saying is: I've gotten a lot of writing done in the last two years. Here are my tips for writing more, writing better, and writing in a way that's enjoyable. 

1. Write in the same place(s). 

A long time ago, I used to write wherever: in the library, on my couch, at my desk, in bed, in the kitchen. Wherever! No more. That's just not possible now. I have too many distractions if I'm anywhere other than where I write. Unless I'm on vacation, I write in one of two places: at my desk at home or at my desk at work. That's it. For my best work, I have to write in one of those two places. 

2. Change something, sometime. 

As much as my first tip stands, I also should say: sometimes, if you're in a rut, you need to change something. For example, this past weekend, I was getting my desk cleaned up and ready for NaNoWriMo and I decided, "it's time for a change." I moved my computer to face a different direction, rearranged my notebooks and pens, and basically changed how I look at my computer, desk, and window. Sometimes, to get inspired, you just need to have a slightly different view, so don't be afraid to change things up--whether that means rearranging your desk, drinking a different kind of "writing drink" (tea instead of coffee? water instead of soda?), or just finding a new desk chair. 

3. Comfort yourself. 

I'm a big baby and sometimes writing, especially during NaNoWriMo when I may be writing emotionally difficult scenes, can make me really anxious and upset. That means I need to take a lot of care to make sure I'm physically comfortable, should I start getting anxious during my writing process. I keep a heating pad and a heater next to my desk, as well as candles and aromatherapy oils. I also make sure to take lots of breaks, especially when I'm feeling stressed out about writing. 

4. Know everything (within reason).

When I was in college, I took a writing workshop where my professor suggested a writing exercise where you list the contents of your main character's trash can. I loved doing it because I love list making and it's something I still do for every NaNoWriMo novel character I write: I make a list of what's in their kitchen trash can. It sounds weird, right? It kind of is. But it goes with the idea that you should know everything about your character, even if you aren't going to include it in your writing. You should know 100 little facts about your main character, but you don't have to include all of those little facts. I keep a list of character writing exercises handy during NaNoWriMo to help me get through any bumps in the road when it comes to characterization.   

5. Take notes.

In this increasingly digital age, I still find a lot of value in taking notes. As in, really taking notes: picking a notebook and writing things down with a pen on paper. I know, it's crazy talk. I handwrite most of my notes and outlines for all my writing--from NaNoWriMo to social media and blog posts. I keep bullet journals for all these notes. I find that writing things down, as they happen, as I think of them, helps me to better remember them and stay on track. Give it a try! 

How I'm Prepping for NaNoWriMo

I love NaNoWriMo. I've attempted to participate the last several years--and I've won at least 3 times, if I remember correctly. Not last year, though. Last year, I had a newborn, a pumping schedule, and all kinds of new responsibilities and stresses. I just couldn't do it! But this year, I really feel like I'm ready. 

Every year, I do the same things to get ready. Want to know what they are? Here's my process: 

Step 1: Pick a topic

Every year, I pick something I want to write about. One year, I wanted to write about a female marathon runner; the next year, I wanted to write about farming communities. I picked an idea, something I was interested in at the time, and ran with it. This year, I'm really into 1950s carnivals and circus culture. So guess what my topic is? 

Step 2: Write an outline

Ok, so I've read some arguments that outlines miiiight be cheating at NaNoWriMo? But I disagree. I feel like if you don't know where you're going as you write, you're going to write yourself into a corner eventually--and that can let writers block take over. My logic is that I don't always know 100% of how my story is going to go--but I have at least 5 scenes per chapter outlined that I need to include to drive the plot forward, reach the climax, and ultimately resolve. That's it! I don't outline much; I outline just enough that if I start feeling bored or directionless, I can steer my novel back to the original plotline. 

Step 3: Make a schedule

I like schedules, obviously, and I love outlines, also obviously. The years I've won at NaNoWriMo, I keep a very strict schedule about my writing: on work days, I write for a set period of time; on non-work days, I write for a set period of time; and on weekends, I write for a set period of time. i don't let myself deviate from it... or else, I fall behind. The hardest time is Thanksgiving, obviously, so I usually try to write well in advance for that. Basically: pick when and where you're going to write and stick with it. 

Step 4: Succeed!

Ultimately, success is where you find it: even if you don't "win" NaNoWriMo, but you write 30,000 words of a novel you've been meaning to write for ages... that's still a major achievement! Success is all about what happens after November. Do you just drop the novel and stop writing for another year? Do you start edits? Do you write consistently, according for your schedule, for another six months? Last year, I succeeded because I was able to write something while taking care of a tiny new human. This year, I want to succeed while taking care of a grumpy toddler. Even if I don't hit 50,000 words, if I write even a little bit, that's a win for me! 

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Tell me about your novel! 

NaNoWriMo, Week 1

Why did I ever decide to do this? 

Forrest was sleep on my chest; I had bottles to wash, milk to pump, and a dog that desperately wanted to be fed, but instead, I was frantically typing on my computer. Forrest had been asleep for approximately 40 minutes, which meant he would either sleep for another twenty or another hour. That meant I had  either twenty minutes or an hour to write about 1,000 words, but it was impossible to tell which it was. So I typed as fast as I could to account for this variable.

I'm proud to say, however, despite these obstacles that I've written my required number of words everyday. I haven't written ahead at all, but I haven't fallen behind--and that's definitely an achievement. 

As I started November, I thought I was truly insane for attempting NaNoWriMo with a newborn (#nanowrimowithanewborn on Instagram). However, I've managed to stay on task every single day, which is genuinely surprising. It helped, really, that Forrest was born a little bit early and we'd established some semblance of a routine together. It also really helped that I'd ordered a Boba wrap to help me throughout the day: I can walk, wash dishes, take out the trash, and, most importantly, write--all with Forrest strapped to my chest. 

This didn't, however, change me from often wondering why, exactly, I wanted to take on this challenge this year, of all years. Then I remember: I wanted to do this to prove that I can, that I can be a mom and creative at the same time. 

This is just a short post that I feel like, so far, I've been able to prove that to myself. I can be a mom, I can nurture my baby, I can keep the house somewhat decent, and I can still be creative. And I'm pretty proud of that. 

On Overcoming Writer's Block

It happens all the time: you're ready to write, you have an idea in mind, and you have the time to dedicate to getting it on the page. But the longer you stare at your computer screen, the stronger the desire to check Twitter, to rewrite your notes, to get a snack. Each sentence feels like you're pulling out your own teeth. It becomes physically painful to write. You have writer's block. 

During NaNoWriMo, writer's block can be a buzzkill. The more you try to write, the worse it gets. The more you ignore it, the further behind you get in the challenge. It's a catch-22. 

I have found writer's block to be heavily tied to procrastination: it's less that I can't think of what to write and more that I want to avoid the actual process of doing it. I might have hit a plateau in the story or I might suddenly hate the plot I picked up, but I know I have things to write about... I'm just bored with it. Writer's block is a convenient way for me to avoid doing the real, difficult work of writing through a crappy situation. 

But in the midst of NaNoWriMo, how can you work through the pain and get your word count in? Here are a few ideas. 

1. Rewrite your outline. 

Did you write an outline for your NaNoWriMo novel? If you didn't, consider creating a rough one now. As I've written before, an outline is one of the best ways to ensure success during NaNoWriMo. 

If you do have an outline, congrats! You have a few options. You can jump ahead to a future chapter that gets you excited again and at least get a word count in for the day. Or you can focus on reworking your outline to change the story enough to get excited again. Only spend about a half an hour doing this or else you'll spend a day tweaking your outline and avoiding writing, which is no bueno. Once you've got your outline set, get back on the horse. 

2. Do some writing exercises. 

I'm a big fan of doing short writing exercises to get myself excited again. There are tons to choose from and a quick Google search can give you a ton of ideas. Here are my favorites: 

• Write a list of 10 things you'd find in your main character's trash can. 
• Free write for 5 minutes. 
• Write a list of your main character's favorite things. 

Any writing exercise should only take you about 5-10 minutes tops. Once you're done, think of how that information will help you write your story--and maybe you've written something you can incorporate into your word count for the day. 

3. Let yourself move on. 

Really hating your plot? Really not wanting to continue? Guess what? You don't have to! 

The great thing about NaNoWriMo is that you don't have to write the perfect novel. You have every right to start a new novel in the middle of this one or to change everything after two chapters. It's your novel and you can always fix it later. For now, you're just getting words onto the page. Don't want to continue with your main character or your setting? Don't. Start fresh. I promise, it will be ok (and it's what revision is for)! 

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Share your #NaNoWriMo tips with me on Twitter!

Preparing for NaNoWriMo in 3 Easy Steps

Are you a NaNoWriMo newbie? 

Take it from someone who has won three (four? I can't even remember) times: preparing for NaNoWriMo is a way of life. I mean, if you want it to be. 

The truth is that you're just as likely to "win" NaNoWriMo (that's National Novel Writing Month) whether you dive in without a minute of planning or spend a month outlining, scene building, and character mapping. But that doesn't mean you should jump in willy-nilly. If you're really dedicated to writing a 50,000 word novel in November, planning should be part of your process. 

Here are my tips for a successful NaNoWriMo November. 

1. Plan your time.

What's your November look like, time wise, really?

For those in the U.S., November is a holiday month. I've always struggled with NaNoWriMo during the week of Thanksgiving. Be honest with yourself: how much time can you see yourself dedicating to writing (and I mean, really writing) every single day? 30 minutes? An hour?

My goal has always been to spend 30 minutes to an hour every weekday after dinner writing, hopefully to my daily goal (1,700 words). On weekends, I try to dedicate two hours to writing--with the intention to get as many words on the page as possible. This has always worked well for me: on weekends, I can often write 5,000-7,000 words ahead of my goal, which means when Thanksgiving rolls around, I don't wake up at 1am in a cold sweat realizing that I'm now 4,000 words behind my goal. 

2. Write an outline. 

Depending on how you like to write, this might not be an option you love. But hear me out! I'm not typically an outline writer either. I usually like to have a rough idea of what I want to say, what my characters are like, and that's about it. But when it comes to NaNoWriMo, that just won't do. 

When it comes to NaNoWriMo, you have to think of it like this: it's more of a brain dump than a novel. I know, I know, unpopular opinion. But it's true! When trying to get 50,000 words on the page, you eventually have to settle for any words on the page. And that's much easier to reign in when you have an outline. 

I recommend dividing your rough idea into 10 chapters. Each chapter needs to be at least 5,000 words to hit your goal. Now, write down 5 scenes (1,000 words each) that you want to take place in each chapter. 

Why does this work? Eventually in November, you're going to forget a day, get sick, get tired, or just plain hit a wall. You can always glance at your outline, pick a scene, and write... and at least hit your goal for the day. 

Then you can worry about editing later... like in December. 

3. Get support.

Talk to your friends, your family, your cat or dog. Tell them about your novel; get them pumped about it. Describe the plot, the characters, the setting. Tell them you how much time you want to dedicate to writing everyday. 

Why? you ask. So they can hold you accountable. When you decide to ditch writing for after dinner drinks, you might notice your literature-loving coworker giving you side-eye. "How's the novel?" She'll ask and you'll remember: you're writing a book that she's excited about too. 

The more support you have, the more your friends and family know about your goal, the more they can help you to reach it. That might mean watching your little ones (if you've got 'em) for an hour while you write, or taking your dog for a walk, or promising to bring you a bottle of wine and a pizza after you finish your writing. Start talking about it now and you'll breeze through that novel this November. 

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Do  you have your own tips for preparing for NaNoWriMo? Share with me on Twitter or in the comments below!

5 Lessons I Learned from NaNoWriMo 2014

When I was in high school, I was obsessed with this quote: 

“If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always. I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.”

— Henry Rollins

Ugh. (Except I still kind of love that quote, even though the older I get, the more insufferable I find dear old Henry.) But I think this speaks to something all writers go through: young writers tend to be very dramatic, caught up the romance of writing, the feeling of it, the mystery, the potential. Then those young writers grow up, spend a lot of time writing, and realize that the writers they once idolized are not mysterious, romantic types, but rather neurotic, weird, and pretty self-deprecating. Some people pull it off, but in general, it's hard to be a cool, self-confident writer, as much as we all kind of want to be that way. 

If NaNoWriMo teaches us anything each year, it's that: 1. lots of people want to be writers, like lots of people; 2. writing is hard; and 3. November will forever be the month of extremely bad days, late nights, and emotional breakdowns, al thanks to NaNoWriMo. Besides that, here's what I learned this month: 

1. I write best with direction.

If you ever wonder what kind of person I am, here is a brief summary: I am someone who respects authority and rules, but I absolutely hate being told what to do. Ta-da, I am a vortex of contradiction. I've always thought I wrote best without direction -- my last few NaNoWriMo novels were done with approximately zero planning and I thought that worked best. Add any parameters, I thought, and I won't be able to meet word counts without wanting to throw myself off a cliff. Man, I was wrong. Like, really wrong. 

This year, I decided to test myself and write an outline. And let me tell you, for two weeks, I did amazing. I followed my outline; I hit goal after goal, keeping myself consistently 2-4 days ahead and not taking any breaks. But then, I had a moment of I'm a punk kid for life yo! and decided to make a change halfway through my novel that basically made half of the outline I'd written obsolete. 

Guess what happened? The last week and a half of writing, I struggled to meet word counts; I added really useless scenes to make up for the fact that things on my outline no longer made sense with the changes I'd made; and I spent a lot of time bouncing between characters, making them do weird stuff (I wrote a two-page scene of a character grocery shopping for no reason) and generally ruining everything. All because I went of my outline. I need an outline, guys, and I need to reign in my intense and only occasional punk feelings. 

2. I write best at night. 

"Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up at 6am, work out, and then work on NaNoWriMo," I said, tucking myself into bed with a smug grin on my face. Absolute lies. I'd wake up approximately 8 hours later, roll over, and fall back asleep. Long story short, I refuse to get up early for lots of things, but writing is apparently one of those things. I'll get up early for vacations, work out sessions, and my birthday -- but nothing else. 

I often found myself doing my best writing after 7:30pm. In college, I usually did a majority of my writing in the evening, so this actually makes sense. I like to think I'm a morning person, but I'm a morning person in the sense that I feel most motivated to get stuff I hate done (like laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and vacuuming). I don't necessarily want to do anything else in the early morning hours except work out and drink coffee. 

3. Support from others really does help. 

Fun fact: I hate talking about my writing with other people. It makes me really uncomfortable. It's like standing in front of them in my underwear. It's like having a therapy session with them. Whenever I'm doing NaNoWriMo, I try to will other people not to ask me. Don't ask, don't ask, I scream internally, every time someone starts to ask. People always do those because NaNoWriMo is weird and cool and seems exhausting (it is all of those things) and they want to know. 

I'm incredibly, stupidly shy about my writing. But support really does help. Support from coworkers, from Danny, from friends on Facebook. Support helped motivate me to finish because so many people were expecting me to. If nothing else, I'm really easy to pressure into doing anything because of my peers. 

4. I thought all my past novels were awful, but they're not totally bad. 

About halfway through NaNo, I looked back at some of my past novels. My novel from last year (Runner's High, thanks for that title clinically depressed 2013 Michelle) is totally horrid in most parts, but my novel from my senior year of college (Succotash, which is a way better title) is surprisingly good. It lacks any sort of plot and reminds me a lot of Catcher in the Rye (shout out to my high school self, I guess), but it has a lot of material that I feel like I could maybe... possibly... potentially use. Hope is not lost, friends. 

5. I can't wait for next year. 

At the end of every November, I find myself saying, "I am NOT doing that again!" because I'm so tired from writing and bored and aggravated with myself because I've just creatively beaten myself up for 30-some days. But then, I go a week without a NaNoWriMo goal or deadline or idea and I find myself blissfully excited for next November...