October 2014

I Turned 26

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I've somehow managed to have the same face since I was 6. 

When I was 18, someone who hadn't seen me since I was about 6 or 7 recognized me instantly. I've just one of those people whose face really didn't change as I got older. It's retained its round, babyish quality and it's not going away anytime soon. Everyone thinks it's hysterical, but I recently got asked if I was old enough to work where I work and I pretty much will be carded for the rest of my life.

My babyface has become even more clear thanks to my mom, who, for my birthday, gave me a box full of baby pictures. They are all gems. 

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Getting older is fun, but it's also scary. When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older. I always wrote stories about girls who were 22. I never imagined being 25 or 26, but I couldn't wait to be 22, to be mature, to be fulfilled and happy. Maybe I believed in magic for too long because I really believed I would magically fall into a career immediately after graduating college. I also apparently thought people dropped off the face of the planet after 25, which I hope isn't true. 

As I get older, I become more and more aware of the things I've taken for granted, of the responsibilities that I now have to take on, and of all the things I didn't think I wanted (but totally do). I also think of all the assumptions I made about people. I remember thinking about my mom losing her brother when she was 19 and thinking, "well, it was ok because she was grown up." Dear Lord, young Michelle, could you have been more clueless? 

I recently watched the movie Neighbors, which is just as silly as you imagine, but it also made me think about getting older. There is still a part of me that wants to be cool: I miss going to parties, I miss staying up all night and staying out late. I miss eating Taco Bell at 2am. I miss the dirty party houses and endless Netflix parties. I miss them, but I also find myself exhausted at the mere prospect of staying awake all night. I'm so tired; I have to work in the morning; and really, I just want to watch Key & Peele. Am I officially an old? No longer a youth? Am I over the hill? 

I'm not going to worry about it, really. While I miss all the fun of my college years, I don't miss the drama that came with them or the fluctuating persona. I don't miss having to act certain ways around certain people. At 26, I'm ready to just be myself -- and be old.