Setting Intentions for 2021

Happy New Year!

Woof! What a year 2020 was, huh?

Have you felt like we’ve been saying that since, like, 2015? It feels like the last 5 years have been “the worst year ever” and we all hopefully look towards the next one. (Although, to be fair, I think 2017 and 2018 have been my two best years on record in the last 5 or so.) I wonder when this cultural shift happen, or do you think this is something that always happens during times of social upheaval?

No matter what: 2020 is behind us.

What did you learn this year?

And what of those lessons do you want to carry in 2020?

For me, my main takeaway from 2020 is this: I can do challenging things. I need to learn to say “no” and set boundaries. I need to start being intentional with my time to avoid burnout.

All good things.

This year, I decided to not set strict (or SMART) goals for 2021. That feels like maaaaybe just a little too much. (On this note—is anyone bracing themselves for March 2021? I feel like March 2020 has become the litmus for when things really changed.)

Instead, in 2021, I’m setting intentions. And that works because my word for this year is, well, intention. Be intentional. Have intentions.

We’re all learning how to grow as people in this new world of ours. That’s sort of the fun thing, isn’t it? That we’re all figuring out what’s normal now, what we can reasonably achieve, how we can impact others in real time, right along each other. There are no experts, no one who is ahead of the curve. We’re all flying blind beside each other. It’s kind of a nice feeling.

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For the sake of public pressure (yes, I am that kind of person—I need to tell other people my intentions or goals to make them “real”), here are my intentions for this year.

• Drink more water. My husband and I often joke that I’m a succulent. To be completely honest, I don’t drink much of anything all day. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and then not really take a drink of anything else until the afternoon. At night, I try to drink water, but mostly just so my mouth doesn’t get dry when I sleep. This is a bad habit and I’m an adult, not a succulent, and I have to start trying to drink water.

• Redo the Curated Closet. I bought the Curated Closet Workbook last year and was working on it in February and March. Then, obviously, I didn’t leave my house for 6 months? I’m working on redoing it and learning a bit more about myself in the process. It’s one of my goals to also start posting outfit photos on my Instagram again. Big scary!

• Spend more time on my hobbies. Like this blog, embroidery, reading, and journaling. 2020 was a year where I worked a ton and it became rapidly clear by around September that I was suffering as a result. I took on too much; I was so burnt out I couldn’t even start a book, let alone finish one; I started and didn’t finish probably 20 embroidery projects. However, once I took a break December 16 and stopped working entirely… I was able to read 4 books, work on an embroidery project, and actually watch a movie without scrolling on my phone. It was really eye opening. Part of this spending more time on my hobbies means also being really strict about work boundaries and giving myself weekends again.

• Save money for Disneyland. Isn’t it crazy that in 2020, my husband and I had more disposable income (a combination of me being paid more for my work and us not really being able to go anywhere for 6 months when I was making said bank), and yet we literally couldn’t do any of the things we always wanted to do once we had more disposable income? What a trip. Anyway, if Disneyland is ever able to open again, we are going and I am saving money in order to give myself the trip of my dreams. C’mon vaccine!

That’s it! Those are my only intentions for 2021. I’m keeping it simple this year, y’all: hobbies, fashion, not being a succulent, and going to Disneyland.

Tell me: what are your intentions (or goals) for this year? What do you want to achieve?

5 Exercises for Setting Goals That Stick

A few weeks ago, I asked my Instagram followers what their biggest struggle was when it came to setting goals. I’ve been doing a 90-day goal challenge (as well as a 100 day, inspired by Elsie Larson at a Beautiful Mess) and it’s gotten me thinking a lot about setting, and keeping, goals.

I’ve always been an incredibly goal-oriented person. I am always working on something when it comes to a big goal—but some goals have always been easier for me to meet than others. In the past, I’ve never quite known why I could win NaNoWriMo every single year… but not be able to stick to meal prepping or other goals that seem like it should be a no brainer to hit.

As I’ve written before, I’ve been spending a lot of time in therapy learning how to validate myself, rather than seek out external validation. I really believe that external validation combined with internal validation is the root of why some goals are easier to hit than others. When it comes to completing NaNoWriMo, I often get a rush of validation from other people: friends reaching out to say congratulations, strangers on the internet, my writing group. Validation comes from everywhere and it’s a good feeling to be validated. I can trust that validation. I know it will be there.

But when it comes to other goals, like finishing a workout series or doing my daily writing… those goals aren’t as public. No one is going to cheer me on when I announce I’ve gone a month without cancelling a therapy appointment. No one is going to send me a nice text to boost my spirits because I managed to fold and put away all the laundry. There are some things we will receive external validation for and some things we won’t.

Relying on external validation for all our goals will only make us give up on goals easily. This obviously isn’t the only reason we struggle to complete goals, however. There are lots of ways we can get distracted or be unsure. Here are a few examples that I was sent on Instagram:

Here’s a summary:

• Setting too many goals

• Settings goals that are not achievable

• Finding goals that make sense 90 days later

• Staying committed

That makes it pretty easy to address the issues we all seem to have with goals, right? Most importantly, it seems everyone struggles to set realistic goals that stick—or that make sense after a month. I hope these 5 exercises will help you set better goals in 2020. Think of these as separate exercises that you can do one at a time, but also steps to creating goals that make sense in your life. Let’s get started!

1. Use a Calendar to Set Your Goals.

This task (or exercise) solves the issue of: how can I make my goals achievable?

Firstly, make sure that any goal you set has an end in sight. On-going, long term goals can be more challenging, especially if you’re used to feel defeated about your goals. Set an end date on the calendar. Think in 90-day or 100-day chunks.

Secondly, set a measurable results for your goal. Here are a few examples:

• I’m going to post 3 days a week and share to Pinterest daily until May 1 instead of I’m going to have a successful blog.

• I’m going to go to 3 networking events a week until June 1 instead of I’m going to grow my business and/or I want X number of clients this year.

• I’m going to work out 2 days a week until April 1 instead of I’m going to be more active.

Basically: when setting your goals, think in specifics: what will you measure, how will you measure it, and when will you be done measuring it (and ready to set a new goal). Set these days on your calendar.

2. Use Goals to Improve Instead of Punish.

Sometimes, we think of New Years Resolution, or yearly goals, as punishment. “I’m getting this goal because I’ve been doing bad and now I need to suffer to be good.” First of all, I assure you: you are already good. With my son, I make sure to reiterate that everyone is good, they just make bad choices sometimes. But even bad choices don’t deserve punishment 100% of the time.

Basically, don’t set up your goals as punishments for your own perceived bad behavior. So what if you gained weight in 2019? How do you feel? If you feel sluggish and unwell, adding a few goals to work out and eat healthier might make you feel happier—but they aren’t punishments to your body, they are ways for you to treat yourself and your brain better.

Your goals should be created with the intention to improve your life—not to make you feel miserable. Aim for things that you know will make you feel good and won’t make you feel miserable and unhappy day-to-day.

Here are a few examples:

• I’m going to eat 1 vegetable with every meal instead of I’m only going to eat X number of calories every single day.

• I’m going to work out 2 days a week instead of I’m going to work out for 2 hours every single day.

• I’m going to write every day for at least 20 minutes instead of I’m going to finish my novel by February 1.

3. Break Your Goal into Week-by-Week Tasks.

Let’s take one of our example goals, because they’re very easy. “I’m going to post 3 days a week and share to Pinterest daily” is an easy one. What would be my weekly tasks?

• Task 1: Write 3 blog posts for the next week (working in advance!)

• Task 2: Share to Pinterest and repin every single day.

Easy, right?

Let’s look at a more challenging example.

Here’s another sample goal: “I’m going to grow my business by 10 clients by June 1.” Here are a few sample tasks:

• Task 1: Go to 3 networking events a week.

• Task 2: Send 2 emails per week.

• Task 3: Finish website.

• Task 4: Post on LinkedIn 2 times per week.

Those tasks are a little heavier than the other goal and there are more of them. But do you see the process? Looking at your goal, what are the tasks that you’ll need to do every single week to achieve them? If your goal is to work out 2 days per week, then your task will be to add work out blocks to your weekly calendar. If your goal is grow your blog, you might add in social media management, developing products to promote your blog, and more. It just depends on your goal and what is achievable for you!

4. Copy Week-by-Week Tasks into Your Planner.

This is an easy one. Take those week-by-week tasks and put them in your planner. Add them to specific dates with deadlines. Make them appointments. Here’s an example; if one of your tasks is to post to Instagram 3 days a week to grow your blog, you might add “Post to Instagram” as a task 3 days a week to reoccur until your chosen date. Whatever your task is, add it to your planner, your calendar, whatever you use.

This exercise solves the issue of losing focus on your goal, and staying committed, throughout the weeks after New Years Day.

5. Incorporate Weekly Tasks into To Do List.

If you make a daily or weekly to do list, add those weekly tasks to your to do list when you get to that week. This makes them tangible tasks to complete on a deadline, along everything else you do. As you work on each task, know you’re getting closer to your goal. As you work through the weeks, you can reassess. Let’s look an example.

If your goal is to grow your blog, and you want to pin to Pinterest 3 days a week, but you notice that your pins aren’t having much traction, you might need to reassess your strategy, your boards, and more. That might become a secondary task that you need to address next week to make your weekly task more effective. You might also address whether your blog posts are in line with what your ideal reader wants, or provide enough information to appeal to readers.