Hey, Freelancers: Know Your Worth

I originally posted this on my old blog, Ellipsis, over 3 years ago. I think it's time to share again, as it is still totally apt. If you're a new graduate, or new to the freelance world, it can be so hard to get those first few clients. But don't be tempted to sell yourself short! 

Ever since I started freelance writing, I have struggled with charging a reasonable rate. What is my writing worth? What is my experience worth? I recently started using Elance and oDesk, and I've been shocked by the amount of writing that clients request... and how little they want to pay for it! 

There are a multitude of freelance writing platforms out there. Unfortunately, they all have their pitfalls. The number one problem with all freelance writing boards, especially Elance and oDesk, is their pricing. Since clients are allowed to charge whatever they want, with no standards being required by the websites themselves, the prices end up being shockingly, well, low. If you're a business in need of writing, it seems great. But if you're a writer in need of income, it sucks. 

It's not uncommon on Elance or oDesk to see ads for 10-100 articles for barely over $20. 10 articles is a lot for $20. 100 articles is ridiculous. As well, I recently saw an add offering $1 for every 300 words, and they wanted 10 600-word articles. Let's see, that evens out to about $20. Not worth it. I've received messages after applying to jobs asking if I'll take $10-20 for a 500-word article. There is no nice way to say "no, actually, my writing is worth more than that." Because, honestly, how do they know? 

Writing is the single most important part of any business. It really is. How businesses communicate and represent themselves, how they manage their reputation and how they present their knowledge as community leaders is incredibly important, especially in the age of ZMOT. Some businesses seem to be pretty slow on the uptake though. They want the benefits of content, of social media marketing and of blogging, without having to pay for it. Maybe because it's a trend, they don't think it has any real value. It also seems to hinge on the fact that writing is "easy"--we do it every day, don't we?  

Except, it's not. 

It's hard work to write an article for a company. It's hard work to do all the research necessary, to ask the right questions, to understand their community, to understand their customers, to find the write words, to tailor the language to their audience. It takes time and patience and practice. It's worth more than a penny per word. And it's definitely worth more than $20 for 500-words!

For new writers -- students just out of college or people like me, who have a lot of writing experience but not a lot of experience being paid for it -- can easily get conned into charging too little. "Well, I am new," we say to ourselves, applying to receptionist jobs and trying to scoop up freelance jobs offering $1.50 an hour. That's not fair though. If you paid for a degree -- in Journalism, Creative Writing, English, or anything else -- you've proven yourself as a writer. You've earned your degree. Therefore, you have earned your right to charge what you think your writing is worth. You might not be able to charge the highest rates quite yet, but you deserve more than minimum wage for writing.  

So, what is your writing worth? 

I charge $35 an hour for freelance projects under a certain number of words. For longer pieces, I charge a base price of $250 and then $25 per hour on top of that $250. It sounds like a lot, right? It's really not, though. For high quality writing, for the right words, the right image, the right phrases, it's worth it. If a business understands and acknowledges that writing is worth more than pennies -- if they understand that their business's reputation and place in the market is dependent on writing -- it's worth it. I have a lot of experience writing. I've written for businesses, for magazines, for academics, for social media accounts. I've written articles, bylines, ebooks, Tweets, Facebook posts, and FAQs. I've written blog posts and wish lists and everything in between. I'm a writer. It's what I do. My writing is worth a certain amount and I'm not embarrassed to say that I charge accordingly. 

It's easy to think, "Well, I can take those low prices and just write a lot." It's really easy to think that. But if you're writing a 500-word article for $20, how many do you need to write to make a mortgage payment or to pay your rent? If you're rent is as low as $500 a month, you'd have to write 25 articles. But remember, you have to pay taxes on all your income through freelance. So reserve about 20% for future taxes. Then you'd need to write about 30 articles to make your rent payment alongside saving to pay those taxes. How long does a 500-word article take to write? Let's say it takes you between 3 hours per article. That's 90 hours just to make your rent. Are you planning on sleeping? What about eating? What about all your other bills? The average full-time worker works about 160 hours a month. That's a lot. So you'll be working half that much just to pay one bill. Add in car payments, insurance, power and water bills, student loan payments... Possible? Maybe. Enjoyable? No. 

The bottom line is this: to be a freelance writer, it's more powerful to have personal connections. It's nice to have oDesk and Elance as back ups. My number one tactic is to email local businesses and try to network and get my name out there as a freelance writer. By being friendly, by networking and following local businesses on Twitter, I find I'm more able to make genuine connections and find businesses that are willing to pay for quality writing. 

What does this mean for someone who is just trying to get into freelance writing? 

  1. Don't depend on freelance writing boards! 
  2. Make connections in your local community. Email PR firms, attend networking group meetings, and get some business cards printed. 
  3. Set a rate and stick to it. It might not be the highest rate, but base it off your experience and what you need to survive. 

Taking a Toddler to Disneyland

It's pretty well-established that I love Disneyland. I went on my honeymoon to Disneyland. Danny and I went to Disneyland the Christmas before I got pregnant with Forrest. I've been to Disneyland at least 6 times now and I always leave crying because I'm not 100% sure when I'll return. 

I even wanted to go to Disneyland in August, when I was pregnant. As a reminder of what I was like in August, my arms and hands were so swollen from preeclampsia that my hands would go numb and I couldn't bend or feel my fingers all day. And yet, I wanted to tromp through Disneyland just one more time

Danny and I have decided that we do want to take Forrest to Disneyland next June. The most often heard reason for not taking a toddler to Disneyland is that they "won't remember it." That's absolutely true. Forrest also, however, won't remember our music time in the morning, the books I read to him, the times I sing and dance with him or play with him. He won't remember any of that. But does that mean it's a waste and he won't enjoy it? 

The logic fails there. And trust me, I used to repeat that too. "Why take a child who won't remember it?" But I get it now! He won't remember it, but I will--and that doesn't mean he won't have a blast. 

I'm so excited to be planning this trip--although it's also totally overwhelming. Which is why I'm opening things up to you! If you've taken a toddler to Disneyland, share your best tips and tricks! You can comment here or send them to me on Twitter

The Freelancer's Guide to Email Etiquette

This post originally appeared on my old blog, Ellipsis. It's still an important topic, especially for new freelancers and those just entering the industry. 

I started freelancing in August 2013. It's been a solid 3 years of freelance, through which I've learned a lot. I don't freelance enough to, say, quit my job and take a full-time run at it. But I do a respectable trade. Freelance writing is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It's the best way for me to use my talents and be fulfilled at the same time. The thrill of being able to help people start businesses, or advance their businesses, thanks to my writing skills and marketing knowledge is one of the best int he world. 

That being said, there are some things to freelancing that I've learned the hard way. Mostly, if you are doing freelance writing over the Internet for a company or person very far from you, rules of email etiquette. Here are my top 5 rules. 

1. Reply quickly. 

Business owners, social media coordinators, and marketers are busy people. They don't have time to sit around waiting for an email response. If they email you, asking you to write for them or pitching a project idea, reply as soon as you can -- even if you're reply is: I'm at the grocery store, I'll write a longer reply in 15 minutes! It matters... really. 

2. Email as often as you need to, but know when to stop.

Early in my freelance career, I was contacted by a woman launching a new website. She wanted me to write some materials for her and rewrite parts of her website. It was really exciting. I wrote an article for her, sent it along, and... no response. I sent her an email. She replied that she would get back to me. After a few weeks of hearing nothing from her, I sent her a certified letter (per our contract) requesting payment and the materials I'd written to be destroyed due to non-response. Here's the thing: a polite nudge ("hey, if you want this project completed on your timeline, you need to edit the materials I sent along") is one thing. Having to babysit someone who is paying you for a service is totally different. After she received the letter, she sent me a scathing email about how I was "barely 1/4 as busy" as her, how she didn't have time to do such tedious editing work, and she'd expected more from me. It all made me wonder why she'd hired a copywriter in the first place. I used to think I should have just sent her another reminder email, but it's not my job to motivate any owner to do their job. Also: I never got paid for the 40 hours of writing I did. 

3. Keep your emails short.

Sending a potential client a long-winded response to their project proposal isn't a great idea. They don't have time to read you wax poetic about it for 3 paragraphs. I try to keep my emails to one paragraph long--and only three sentences. I read an article about how the average email is too long and that most people stop reading after 3 sentences. So if you have something important to say, say it fast.   

4. Don't pester.

You know how I said to email as often as you need to? Yes, that's true. But don't pester people. You should reply ASAP to proposals... but if you don't hear from someone in three hours, that's not an excuse to send them another email. Remember: they might be busy, just like you, and just because they aren't as good at replying to emails doesn't mean they haven't heard you. Now, if it's been a day or two, email again asking for a quick reply to confirm they've gotten your previous message! 

5. Be polite. Always.

People will be rude sometimes (a lot of times). Don't return the behavior. If you get shorted on money or someone cancels a project halfway through, if a client doesn't like what you've written or acts like a crazy person... it's no excuse to be rude, even if they are! Be polite, be genuine, and accept the things you can't change about people. Taking the high road always makes you seem more professional and that is a positive impact on your reputation! 


cDo you have any email etiquette tips for freelancers? 

Is it Possible to Lose Weight & Still Be Body Positive?

I've written before about how I had a (very elaborate) fantasy about how easy losing weight would be postpartum. I truly imagined that I would shrink down to nothing, due to my breastfeeding and activity and going walking 2 weeks postpartum! None of those things happened, hilariously enough. I did manage to give birth to a 6-pound baby and an impressive 6-pound placenta, and then managed to pee out about 10 additional pounds of water. 

Yes, water. For two weeks after Forrest was born, I would wake up just soaked in sweat. The horrible part was that, of course, I was barely sleeping, but I knew if I fell asleep for even an hour, I would wake up completely and totally soaked. That's what postpartum life is like: everything hurts and you start sweating out all the extra liquid you saved up over 9 months for your joints and body. And in my case, I had been VERY swollen. 

After that, things stopped. I didn't lose any more weight, mainly because I couldn't think about it. Alongside taking care of Forrest, pumping, and eating whatever I could to keep my milk supply up (cheesecake? Tried it), I didn't really care. Then, around 12 weeks postpartum, I cared. I suddenly, crushingly cared. 

I also still care. I told Danny the other day that I know I have pretty severe body dysmorphia issues and I'm never 100% confident that what I see in the mirror or in photos is what I actually look like. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh I'm not that big! It's not so bad! But then I'll see, say, a family photo and I'll think, I've transformed into a small whale. I am baby Beluga. Under the sea, where I should be. 

I have absolutely no idea which one is accurate. Am I huge? Am I chubby but otherwise normal looking? Am I slowly engulfing the planet? No idea

My body image issues aren't helped by the fact that I align myself, wholeheartedly, with body positivity. It's so easy for me to look at my mom friends and say, "You're gorgeous. Never change. You are the most beautiful woman on the planet." And of course, it's easy for them to say it in return. It's harder to say it to ourselves, to look in the mirror and say, "You look great, even if you're not [insert desired size here.]" 

I feel very torn with the idea of trying to be body positive, but also being aware that I desperately want to be a different size. It's all well and good to preach body positivity until I'm tearing myself down, privately and painfully, for being a size that, generally speaking, some people would kill to be. 

I've been losing weight recently (I have no idea how much and for the sake of my mental health, I don't actually weigh myself--but the people around me assure me that I do, indeed, look smaller) and wondering if losing weight negates all the body positivity work I've done in the past few years. 

It's difficult to think what changing my body says to other people. But, living as an overweight person the last two years, especially while pregnant, did a number on my self-esteem... not that my self-esteem was that great to begin with. The way people treat me, ignore me, act like I am taking up space that I'm not allowed is incredibly difficult to live with--and, of course, I want to change it.

I don't want to change my body just to please other people; but I do want to lose weight to be taken more seriously in my job. Plus, I just want to feel better about myself: I hate getting dressed, I hate taking pictures. I don't take pictures with Forrest simply because I know what I look like. That's hard to wrestle with. 

With all that being said, I hate that I've allowed myself to feel that I should change just because of how other people treat me (and how I perceive they see me.) I don't think anyone should lose weight or change their appearance to make other people happy. If it makes them happy, sure, go for it--but not other people. 

And even though I tell Danny that I just want to be able to wear the clothes I want, to be able to shop anywhere and feel confident and not like the sales associates can't wait to get me out of there, I also want to lose weight so people are nicer to me. I don't want to be called a fat ass while crossing the street anymore (a real thing that happened, yes.)

I also don't want to have a teenager point at me, during the middle of my next pregnancy, and say, "You think that's pregnant? That's just fat." (Yes, another real thing that happened.) I'm tired of being made to feel inconsequential because of others. I just want to be taken seriously.

I just want to be seen as the hard worker I am--and, by and large, most people see overweight people as stupid and lazy, a fact that could not be further from the truth for a vast majority of the population. 

I try my hardest, every day, to be body positive. I have lost friends over calling them out for negative comments, calling others "fat" (as a clear insult), or trying to make others feel bad about their bodies. I try to treat myself with love and kindness. It's hard to lose weight, but I don't want to lose my ability to treat all bodies positively in the process. 

That just means I have to work at it a little bit harder than everyone else. 

Living the Dream: On Finding a Career (& Life) Path

I wrote this post over 2 years ago on my old blog, Ellipsis. Can you believe it? At the time, I was exhilarated by a recent slew of job offers after months of nothing and not having a job. I thought I'd take a second look--and a second rewrite--to see what else I have to say now. 

A few years ago, I wrote a particularly sad sentence in my journal: 

I'm about 85% sure that I will never be able to say that my career is my "dream job." I'm starting to think that phrase was made up by someone who wanted other people to feel bad. 

Wow, past-Michelle. WOW. That's harsh. About yourself and about your life.

Not very long after I wrote that sentence, I attended my first Toastmasters class. Toastmasters is a group that helps people improve their public speaking skills, as well as their confidence, posture, and mannerisms. If you're an introvert like me, that sounds terrifying. However, I found it to be incredibly fun. I thought I would hate it, but I loved it. I've never been a good public speaker, but following just the basic tips offered in the first class, I actually won Best Table Topics for the week!

I could never have imagined myself doing that. I couldn't have imagined myself being able to enjoy something that was so obviously not in my comfort zone. But then again, I also couldn't imagine myself being genuinely happy at work, or where I worked.

I've spent an embarrassingly long amount of time wishing I had my "Dream Job."

What was my "dream job"?

I don't even really know. 

Now that is embarrassing. I'm kind of ashamed that I spent years being sad, depressed, and generally stupid for a job that I couldn't even put any qualifiers on. I had a general sense of what I wanted to do, but then again, not really. I have a lot of skills; I have a lot of talents; and I have a lot of drive. None of things add up to I'm going to be an... fill in the blank. They add up to I like to write; I like social media; I like people; I like marketing; I like blogging...

So how do you get a cohesive job out of that?

You find businesses that want creative, interesting people & you wait.

You might start to wonder: does this Dream Job even exist?

I've always had high expectations: for myself; for other people; for my education; for my career. It's been an obstacle for me to overcome the idea that sometimes, my expectations are just too high.

For someone right out of college, I actually did all the right things: I took a deli job; I worked internships; and eventually, I started a low-level job at a place with opportunities to grow. However, I made things difficult for myself by hating every step of the journey. I kept feeling like I should be doing more, that what I was doing wasn't right, that I was holding myself back by being afraid to follow my dreams.

Really, I was following my dreams, but with my expectations so high, it was impossible for me to see the positive in any situation I was in, personally and professionally. Nothing I did was good enough & that thinking was incredibly negative for me.

I kept telling myself things would get better, but as time went by, I became less & less positive; I stopped trying; I let myself think that this was how my life was going to be; I couldn't see how anything would change. I let myself stop blogging. I let myself gain too much weight while trying to say I was very, very healthy. I let myself hate my body & take out my feelings of failure on my body. It was a bad time. It was a bad time to be me.

But this isn't a pity party. 

This is about telling it like it is.

Even after everything I went through -- two crappy jobs that I hated, two years of 24/7 body hatred, crying almost everyday, going months without writing or caring about anything -- I still don't have a "Dream Job." Because, to be completely honest, there is no "Dream Job."

Everything is what you make of it.

A Dream Job is just another version of the American Dream.

The American Dream is this: white picket fence, perfect house, wife & husband and 2.5 kids, car in the driveway, golden retriever in the backyard. Perfect, right? Yes, in the 1950s. Not everyone wants that life now, though. Some people don't want kids or they don't want to buy a home or they don't want to get married. Whatever, society has moved on.

We've evolved. 

Which means our notions of employment should too.

Twenty, thirty, forty years ago, when you accepted a job, you were essentially signing on for life. People worked at places for 40, 50 years. That is incredibly rare now. The idea of working anywhere for ten years kinda makes me start to feel itchy. It's just too confining. That's what a job used to be though: you signed on for the long haul.

Society, however, has evolved. So when we talked about "Dream Jobs," we're talking about a concept similar to "the American Dream." And we've evolved past that. It's time for our expectations to evolve too.

It's less a dream & more a path.

Have you ever heard the quote "Aim for the moon; even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"?

I hate that quote.

Ok, I don't hate it, but I think it's pretty lame. It assumes that you should aim as high as possible & that there is no possibility of failure from doing that.

Unfortunately, that's not true. Failure happens. People fail every single day. It's a fact of life.

We've all become afraid to fail. So afraid that we set our expectations spectacularly high and then fall apart if we don't measure up.

It's ok to fail though. Everyone fails. We have to. If you don't fail occasionally, you'll never learn what works or what you want to do. Working a job you hate tells you what you don't want to do. Working a job you love, but with a manager who treats you like crap teaches you about managerial styles.

From failure, we learn how to succeed: what we want, how to achieve it, how to lead. And if you protect yourself from never ever failing, you're doing yourself an incredible disservice. By spending your time hoping for a "dream job" or trying to find your "dream job", your letting opportunities to learn pass you by.

I wasted a lot of time being miserable, waiting for my "dream job" to come along. I wish I could take back all those times, all those opportunities. I missed out on enjoying life, enjoying working for two years because I was so wrapped up in the idea of doing something specific-that-I-didn't-really-know-yet.

I missed out on following my unique, special path.

So this is my advice.

Whenever June rolls around now, I think about the path my life has followed since I graduated five years ago. Can you believe that? Five whole years! I've learned so much since then and I hope my experience can help other people. 

My advice is simple:

  • Don't worry about it & don't be afraid to fail. It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to feel like you don't know what you're doing or where you're going. That's the point. In your moments of confusion, you'll be able to figure out what you really want & follow the path that is most you.
  • Work hard. Every second of every day. Make it count!
  • Take every opportunity you encounter.
  • Have fun.
  • It's not about a dream; it's about you. The path you follow is yours. Your understanding of success is entirely yours. Don't ever let what anyone thinks stop you from following a path that is right for you.

Am I Really Planning a 1st Birthday Party?

Is it just me or was Forrest just born, like, three days ago? A week? Maybe 2? It can't be 10 months, right? I can't possibly be realistically looking at decorations and invitations and how to make a 3-layer cake with a removable top layer to be his smash cake, right? I'm just having some kind of fever dream, I'm sure. This is one of those weird postpartum dreams where I wake up and I've been sweating out all the fluid I built up over 9 months. Right? Right.

Except no, Forrest really is 10 months old now. I really am doing all of those things. I really am pinning Fall-themed birthday cakes. I really am thinking about ordering invitations, baking cakes, making little acorn-lookalike candies. 

When it comes to parenting, I feel like I'm always writing in astonishment. Can you believe that Forrest ate a SANDWICH? By HIMSELF? It stuns me that he is old enough to chew, to pick up food and eat it, to stand up on his own. It really does feel as though he was born yesterday. 

But it also really feels like, well, he was born a year ago. The months are both incredibly short and the longest of my life.

Babies grow up. Part of me is sad about it (what happened to my smooshy little newborn?) but another part of me, a bigger part of me, is so exhilarated to see what he's like, what he enjoys, how he talks, that it's ok. So I'm gleefully planning his first birthday party, even though I'd always said I wouldn't throw a big shindig. 

If you'd like to follow my party planning for Forrest, you can follow my 1st Birthday board on Pinterest

5 No-Nonsense Tips for Planning Your Wedding

This post originally appeared on my old blog, Ellipsis. A revisit was in order, especially as I'm not 3 years past my wedding! 

If I could go back in time, I would plan my wedding differently. Not that the day itself wasn't awesome: it was. I would just do things different now! 

I hated planning my wedding. I really did. I wanted to let someone else deal with the flowers and the tables and the music and the ceremony. Let someone else figure out the schedule and who is in charge of what and the food and the choreography of people arriving and leaving and delivering things and setting up things. Let someone else do this. 

I say this fully realizing I chose to have a wedding and not just, you know, elope.

It didn't help that I was working full time and having a home built at the exact same time as planning a wedding. The lead up to my wedding was stressful and let me tell you, my wedding was pretty chill. There was no huge spectacle. Not a lot of travel. Not really that much to worry about. But I still worried about it.

There's a lot of wedding advice out there. I bought a wedding planning book, thinking it would be helpful, and instead found it weirdly outdated and frustrating. I didn't want a DJ. I would never have a sit-down, served dinner. I didn't want a first dance or an elaborate setup. I just wanted to be married. I just wanted to have a party with my family and friends. When I say there is a lot of wedding advice out there, what I really want to say is: there is a lot of stupid, bad wedding advice out there.

I mean look at this ultimate wedding planning list. I mean, booking portable toilets? A list of people to give toasts? (Shouldn't the list just be one or two people? How long do people want toasts to go on!?!) Creating a guest list database? Distribute welcome baskets!? Frankly, a lot of this stuff is very expensive and when it comes down to it, it is just one day. One day does not make or break a relationship and a wedding won't magically turn any relationship into a "marriage." A marriage is what you make of it and the wedding has absolutely nothing to do with that.

For that reason, here is my wedding planning advice. Take it or leave it, these are the ways to keep yourself from going into a wedding-induced stress-and-rage blackout.

1. Forget about everything you see on Pinterest. 

There are some really cute trendy things out there for weddings. If you love the ideas you see on Pinterest, pick something that really means something to you. For example, I had mason jar centerpieces at my wedding. Why? Because I've grown up canning with my mom and we have, literally, a billion mason jars. Why pay for vases when I have a billion mason jars for free? It's cute, it's trendy, and it reduced the cost of my arrangements.

If you think something is super cute, by all means go for it, but make it your own... don't just blindly copy and spend more money than you need to. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by hoping to copy someone else's wedding exactly: you'll look back regretting

2. It's a wedding. Not a photo shoot for a magazine spread.

It's not an editorial. It's your wedding. Stuff is going to go wrong. You aren't going to look perfect 100% of the time. And that's ok, because that's really the good stuff. The pictures where I am laughing with a double chin, waving my arms around, and taking photos with my phone are my favorite pictures from my wedding. Because, you know, screw it, I'm not a Vogue model; I don't want my wedding to be pin-worthy; and the point of a wedding should be to have fun, not to spend hours smoldering at a camera to try to capture the "perfect" picture.

3. If it doesn't matter to you, don't spend time on.

There were a lot of things, when it came to wedding planning, that I just didn't care about. Picking a wedding color? Changed my mind a bunch of times and ultimately didn't care. Picking bridesmaids? Didn't care. There were a lot of things I just really didn't care about and so, I just didn't bother with them. When it came to my colors, I decided to focus on a detail that I liked and let the colors come from that. I love daffodils and daffodils were a big theme of my wedding. For the other stuff, I just decided, it's my day, no code of conduct can dictate what I want this day to be.

If, while planning your wedding, you encounter things that you literally just do not care about, then leave it. And really listen to yourself. Just because everyone has a full dinner at their wedding doesn't mean you have to. Just because everyone expects you to have bridesmaids doesn't mean you have to. Just because everyone wears a white dress doesn't mean you have to. Even if your family wants you to do something, even if everyone thinks you're crazy, if you can't bring yourself to care very much about something, just don't do it. It is not worth the aggravation and stress.

One more time: You don't have to do anything in your wedding just because everyone expects it! It's just a day for you and the person you love most!

4. This is your day... and your partner's.

 I think a lot of people get wrapped up in the idea that it's just the bride's day. This isn't entirely true as it's a day where you are marrying someone. Hopefully, that someone is involved!

I shared almost every detail with my husband & got his opinion -- from food to colors and flowers, to my dress to his outfit, and everything in between. We incorporated a traditional Celtic ritual into the ceremony on his request. What he wanted to wear wasn't originally what I had planned, but he was the one wearing it... so obviously, he got say in that!

This isn't just a day for a bride. It's a day for both of you. I think we all get wrapped up in the cliche that every girl dreams of their wedding day -- but as a personal anecdote, I didn't. Being pretty shy in real life, a whole day dedicated to me freaked me out. Involve the person you're marrying. Trust me, it will be better that way; it's a partnership, after all!

5. Have fun. 

Please, even if everything seems to go wrong: have fun.

And things will go wrong. I showed up to my wedding & was told that the sound system I needed to use for my ceremony system didn't actually go to the area where my wedding was. I improvised with a small iPod speaker. Could everyone hear it? Not really. Did it make me panic? Yes. Did it ruin my wedding? No. At this point, no one probably even remembers the music. 

At the end of the day, a wedding is just a big party. Enjoy yourself! Stop stressing! If the cake falls over, if your iPod breaks that morning, if your hair gets blown to shreds by a gust of wind... who cares? You're still marrying the love your life. That's the reward. At the end of the day, that's all it's about. Take a few deep breaths, laugh, and move on from any tiny disappointment. It's not the end of the world.

 

Do you have any tips for planning your wedding?

7 Tips for Starting a New Blog

This post was originally published on my old blog, Ellipsis, over 3 years ago. I've learned a lot since then, so I've adapted the post to fit the current blogging climate. 

When I started my blog, I really didn't have any advice to turn to. I started blogging because I wanted to be just like Gala Darling (cringe!) but I've definitely grown since then. I see a lot of talk about advice for new bloggers. Here are my simple, 7 tips after blogging for almost 10 years. 

1. Start with clean, simple design. 

No matter what platform you use (Blogger, Wordpress, etc.) pick a theme that is clean & simple. I see a lot of "cluttered" looking blogs -- huge headers, double sidebars, crowded sidebars... it's incredibly overwhelming for readers! I'm a firm believer in less is more & I personally like designs that have one sidebar with a clean, organized look -- not too many icons, no random text, etc. Beyond that, remember to pick a readable font for your body text! The other day I went to a new blog that used cursive as the body font, that was near impossible to read. 

2. You don't need a fancy camera. 

I love my Canon Rebel t2i, but honestly, I don't use it as much as I used to! Most of the time, I use my iPhone to take photos or I use stock photos from websites like PicJumbo and Unsplash. If I'm writing a review post, I'll use my Canon to take those -- but an iPhone or point-and-shoot camera takes photos that are just as good. Remember, you don't need perfect photos -- just photos that clearly demonstrate what you're trying to show! 

3. Content is king. 

Your content matters -- from formatting to what you're actually writing, your content is the most important piece of your blog. The other day, I clicked to a blog that has 1000+ followers & had received a box of samples from Benefit -- really! -- and the first paragraph of that blog post? About 30 lines of text with not a single period. It was so stream of consciousness and it read horribly. Content matters. The amount that businesses pour into content marketing makes that very clear: write good posts and you will reap the benefits. 

4. Pick 2-3 social media platforms & use them to their advantage. 

Most of my traffic comes from Twitter and Pinterest. I also get a lot of traffic from Google+, which I don't even really use! Lots of people try to use every social media network, but that's not really necessary. Pick the ones you like best & work them! Post consistently, post intelligently, and post your links! (And if you decide to use Twitter, participate in chats whenever you possible can! I like #lbloggers, #fblchat, and #blogtrends the best!) 

5. Network. 

The blogging community is just that--a community. My blog is primarily read by other bloggers. If I find a blogger doesn't interact with the community, I'm much less likely to read their blog! It's totally fine to be busy, but replying to people on Twitter, asking questions, participating in chats, joining communities... it'll help you go further in the long run. 

6. For Love, Not Money. 

Ok, I have something to tell you: the blogging bubble has burst. There are just too many bloggers. It is certainly possible to have a creative career, but blogging will only be one part of that. To be truly successful, you have to have multiple streams of income if you are an entrepreneur: you can't rely on just a blog or just an etsy shop. You have to establish multiple ways to be successful & work hard at all of those things. Have passions, hobbies, and a career outside of blogging. It will all fall into place someday! Don't blog to get rich -- you'll only end up disappointed! 

7. Be yourself. 

This is something I cannot stress enough. I see so many blogs that are just carbon copies of each other. You don't have to have the perfect, pin-worthy home, an expensive camera, or new everything all the time to be successful. You just have to be yourself. When you blog in a way that is genuine to who you are, you will be successful.