How to Stay Creative As An Exhausted Mom

Have I ever mentioned that I'm really tired? Are you really tired? 

Everyone has different reasons for being exhausted. And I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that, just because I have a kid, it makes my exhaustion more valid or more intense than other people's. This isn't the Olympics and no one gets a medal for being more or less tired than anyone else. 

I will say, however, that having a child drastically reduces the amount of time that I have for 1) recharging and 2) creating. Two things I know I need in my self-care arsenal to make sure I'm not cannonballing off a diving board into the anxiety pool. 

The more tired I get, the less able I am to be creative. The less creative I am, the more anxious I feel. The more anxious I feel, the more tired I feel. You get where I'm going with this? It's an endless cycle for me. 

After I finished Blogtober (October), NaNoWriMo (November), and Blogmas (December), a friend asked me: just how did you manage to do three solid months of constant writing & creative output without absolutely losing it? 

The answer: I just... did it. 

Ok, it's not that simple. Let's what through how I did it--and how I start creative, outside of that 3 month timespan, with raising a toddler. 

A Little Disclaimer

I wanted to start with a little disclaimer: it's ok to not have creative output. 

If you're a mom, who is creative, who based her life on creating prior to having a child, it's ok to not create anything if you genuinely don't want to. It's ok to not feel inspired. You don't have to force yourself to do it if you think it will be damaging to your mental health. Your health takes priority over writing, or painting. Getting sleep, eating meals, and having time to relax is more important that writing a week's worth of blog posts. 

So this is just my gentle way of saying: this is what works for me. This is what helps me to feel better. It is not for everyone. Take care of yourself first!

1. Make the Time

When Forrest plays in the afternoon, I often sit on the couch with my cell phone and take flat lay photos, or I write Instagram posts. Or, if I don't feel like doing that, I cross stitch. Both of these activities stimulate my mind, but don't invite Forrest's attention (he is obsessed with my work laptop) and aren't so time consuming that I can't focus on Forrest as well. 

I am someone who needs to be "productive"--and for me productive means actually producing something. This is why I sometimes struggle with handling my anxiety around cleaning and doing laundry; it doesn't necessarily "create" anything. So little things like editing photos, doing cross stitch, or organizing my bullet journal during playtime help me to stay creative and mentally stimulated--without throwing myself into a larger project. 

This is what I call "making the time." It isn't forcing yourself into a big project during a one-hour nap time or anything like that. It's just doing little creative things, when you can, to keep your mind active. 

2. Have a Goal

I've said this before but: having Blogtober, NaNoWriMo, and Blogmas as goals really helped me to focus and stay on top of creating, in a way that was motivating and didn't make me feel like I was wasting time. I like having goals that are relatively simple to meet--all that Blogtober and NaNoWriMo required of me was writing a little bit every single day. So instead of spending my evening watching TV or cleaning the kitchen, I wrote blog posts or I worked on my NaNo novel. 

Having a goal to works towards, for me, keeps me working towards something. I'm not a huge fan of big, big goals--but writing a blog post every day or creating a small piece of art every week is absolutely doable. And once you do it enough that it becomes habit, it's a part of your life--and it's something that can keep you creative every day, even when you're very, very tired. 

3. Create What You Can 

You aren't always going to be working within your medium of choice. I am a writer, but sometimes, I keep myself creative by taking on other tasks that keep my brain stimulated and help sooth my anxiety. Things like bullet journaling, coloring, cross stitching, and baking are huge stress relievers for me, and allow me to experiment, create, and feel productive--without being quite as mentally taxing as sitting down to write a short story or even outline a novel. 

You won't always be creating art that will win awards. Sitting down to doodle a page in your bullet journal or start a new cross stitch pattern might not feel like you're working towards any kind of goal, but you can multitask with both those activities (such as watch Married at First Sight, my guilty pleasure) and they help keep your mind from getting bored and sluggish. 

4. Take Care of Yourself

Like I said: you can't be creative if you aren't taking care of yourself. I don't stay up late writing or working on anything anymore. I certainly used to, but these days, when my sleep is at a premium anyway, I simply don't allow myself to do it. I make myself stop to make dinner or go to sleep. I make sure to spend time before bed reading, doing a face mask, or simply lying in bed, dozing or going through my day. Relaxing is an important part of creating. And even though I like to be in near constant motion through working and writing, I know that if I don't take some time to not create, the next time I really need to buckle down and write... I won't be able to. 

5 Non-Scary Halloween Movies for Kids

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I love all the movies related to Halloween. I think I've written so many lists of my favorite Halloween movies that it would be impossible to round them all up. But trust me when I say: if a Halloween movie exists, I've probably watched it. 

Now that I have a toddler, I've had to adjust my favorite Halloween movies. Some are just too scary for Forrest to watch, especially if they have dark scenes or any really suspenseful parts. For my fellow moms out there, I've put together a list of our favorite non-scary (or not too scary movies) for kids. You'll notice one of my favorite movies ever is not on this list; I find Hocus Pocus to be just a little too scary for Forrest yet. But maybe next year! Here are our favorites right now. 

1. Halloweentown 

I love Halloweentown and thankfully, Forrest does too. This is one of those movies that has some slightly scary parts, but not scary enough to really scare a toddler. I have great nostalgia about this movie because it was one of my absolute favorites when I was little. We recently bought the double feature of it from Amazon. 

2. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! 

This is such a classic; everyone loves this movie! I've been searching for this movie relentlessly for months and finally, it popped up on Amazon for $10. Thankfully, though, it starts being played on TV as Halloween gets closer so we've watched it several times already. 

3. Trick or Treat on Sesame Street 

Forrest's number one obsession is Elmo and Sesame Street. He loves this DVD. It's basically a collection of Elmo trick-or-treat episodes and scenes. There are also some great special features on it about dressing up in costumes that aren't along the gender binary, which is my favorite part. As with any Sesame Street DVD, there is lots of subtle teaching: counting, learning how to talk to others, being creative, and how to deal with jealousy are the biggest themes. 

4. Spookly the Square Pumpkin

This is a TV movie (that you can buy on Amazon) that came out when my oldest nephew was a toddler. It's about a square pumpkin named Spookly who is different from the other pumpkins. It's a really cute, slightly spooky (but not scary) movie with lots of cute Fall imagery and a really great message about how being different makes you special. It's one of Forrest's favorites. 

5. Hotel Transylvania 

This is one of those movies that... really starts to grate on me after a while. But as a parent, I have to put up with it a little bit! It's definitely not on my list of favorite movies, but Forrest really enjoys it, it's not scary, and it doesn't have anything that I particularly object to (unlike other movies). 

Healthy Finger Food Ideas for Picky Toddlers

The number one question that gets posted in my mom groups is, of course, "Are your kids eating, like, AT ALL?" What is it about being between 18 and 24 months that turns toddlers into the weirdest eaters of all time? Kids who used to happily eat just about everything suddenly reject things they used to love and demand buckets of ketchup with everything. 

Forrest definitely has his moments of refusing to eat anything, but thankfully, I know I can usually get him to eat a few tried-and-true things. But some of our former staples (like quesadillas and grilled cheese sandwiches) are now on his "no" list. You read that right--he refuses to eat cheese now. 

To make mealtimes easier, I started experimenting with finger foods that I could use to either substitute what he was already eating (without resorting to a peanut butter and jelly every single night) and were a little healthier. These are what I came up with. 

1. Tiny Pancakes

I make Forrest banana and egg pancakes (like the kind you see on Pinterest, here is a good recipe, although I add diced up fruit, cinnamon, and two tablespoons of flour as well); for snacks and lunches, I will sometimes make "tiny pancakes." This is just a tiny dot of batter on the griddle. A few dots adds up to a little bowl of cute pancakes, something he can snack on during dinner or after his nap. They're easy and at least it's not a handful of Teddy Grahams, right? 

2. Steamed, Diced Carrots with Ketchup & Ranch

Every mother is now staring at their screen like, "you're joking, right?" I know, this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, but trust me. I could never get Forrest to eat carrots... if I left them whole. I steam him a few baby carrots for lunch nearly every day and was basically throwing them away untouched.

One day, I decided to dice them into pieces, toss them in a little butter and garlic salt, and present them with some ketchup and ranch for dipping. He ate every single one. This may be further proof that toddlers will eat nearly anything with their favorite dips, but I think it made him think those pieces of carrot were something else. This is now a staple for lunch and dinner for him. If you have a microwave steamer, it's especially easy. 

3. Veggie Nuggets

Forrest will eat chicken, fruit, and carbs until the cows come home. But veggies are where we really struggle. I've really discovered that he needs his veggie disguised--either in applesauce pouches or in nugget form. 

We buy our veggie nuggets (this is my favorite brand and variety, you can get them at Whole Foods and most grocery stores). But I have made them before and they're surprisingly easy. I like this recipe for them, because it includes lentils--perfect for if you worry your toddler isn't getting enough iron. 

How to Stay Healthy As A New Mom [+Free Printable!]

Being a new mom can be really overwhelming. I've written about this before, but my experience in the first 6 months after having my son was really tough. I spent a lot of time having to track everything I did: pumping, feeding, ounces, diapers. Beyond that, I needed a way to track things for myself. 

Unfortunately, there is no app that combines tracking your baby's feedings and diapers as well as tracking your meals, medications, and more. In an ideal world, I'd be developing just that app because I believe there is a huge place for an app that does that! Most baby tracking apps were clunky to me and either didn't have all the features I wanted or those features were hard to use. 

Instead, I made these printable tracking sheets. I stuck one to my fridge every morning and jotted notes throughout the day. I have a binder full of these that I can't bring myself to throw away. They were infinitely helpful with tracking patterns when Forrest was tiny and my memory was very hazy, especially when our pediatrician would ask questions like, "How many diapers does he have a day? How much is he eating every day?" 

Beyond that, they helped me remember to take care of myself too. For me, that was the hardest part of being a new mom. A whole day would go by and I would realize all I'd eaten was Cheez-Its while holding Forrest for a nap or a hasty dry piece of toast as I pumped. I forgot my vitamins more often than not, didn't remember to drink water, or just plain couldn't remember when I last showered. 

That's why there's a section for you, the mom! Eating healthy, taking care of yourself, remembering to take those vitamins... it's all important when you're taking care of a newborn. Why? Because they need you to be healthy! You can't take care of a baby if you yourself are starving. There are lots of supplements you can add to your diet that have tons of health benefits.

Often, printables like these focus on one thing or the other: just pumping, just breastfeeding, or just formula. For me, I was doing a little bit of everything! So whether you're formula feeding, trying to keep up with pumping, or settling into a good breastfeeding relationship, these tracking sheets work. 

If you'd like to check it out, click below to download and learn more! 

4 Tips for Surviving a Road Trip with a Toddler

The trip to Disneyland, from where we live in Oregon, takes about 15 or 16 hours, give or take. 

15 or 16 hours, in a car, with a young toddler, can be torture. We had done a few road trips to places like central Oregon and Idaho, but nothing quite like two solid days in the car through the entirety of California. 

A few of my friends suggested driving at night so that Forrest would sleep. A few of them actually did this and had it backfire around the same time as our trip. The truth is, your toddler is not going to sleep great in the car, even if they normally sleep amazing in the car. If they're going to be in that seat for 14+ hours, they aren't going to sleep there very well. So prepare yourself for minimal naps and early bedtimes in hotels. 

We made it though, with minimal tantrums. How did we do it? Here are our 4 tips. 

1. Buy a DVD player for the car. 

Listen, I know. I always said I would never. But then my son reached toddler age and, you know what? Sometimes, you need to just distract them. A DVD player is perfect. We brought a collection of DVDs for him: Zootopia, Peter Pan, a Sesame Street DVD, a Barney DVD, and Toy Story. By the end of the trip, he was singing the theme from Zootopia whenever he had the chance. 

2. Bring snacks. 

When all else failed, we handed Forrest something to snack on. He is particularly fond of cereal bars, so we brought those, of course, as well as Goldfish, bananas, and apple juice. While sometimes he just made a mess (in the last 20 minutes driving home, he opened his milk cup, dumped it all over himself and the seat, and then mashed a cereal bar into it); otherwise, it was exactly what he needed to get over a tantrum. The first rule of toddlers is, if you can, distract them.   

3. Have someone ride in the back with him or her. 

For us, this was big: sometimes, it seemed like he was just lonely in the backseat. So, we would rearrange things and my husband would ride in the backseat with him. They would read books, watch Barney together, or just point out things along the road. 

4. Stop frequently. 

I hate stopping during road trips. I am goal oriented and, often, for me the goal is getting to our location. But with a toddler, it’s good to get out and walk around. We stopped at every other view point or rest area and got out just to stretch our legs; Forrest would walk around with his safety harness. We’d grab a snack or a soda and sit outside for just a few minutes. 

Everything You Need for Disneyland with a Toddler (& Nothing You Don't)

Earlier this week, I shared my three tips for making Disneyland with a toddler just a little more enjoyable. (At least, what I will remember for next time! You live and learn, after all.) Now, it's time to talk about what, exactly, you should pack. 

When we first started planning our trip, I downloaded every Disneyland packing list I could find. I devoured packing lists. I read blog post after blog post. I made lists. I bought clear plastic containers at Wal-Mart to pack snacks and more in. I organized and fretted and bought extras. 

Here's the truth: we didn't touch maybe 75% of what I packed. It was just extra. Totally useless. We didn't need it. Maybe in an emergency, we would have needed it, but realistically, in the park, I wouldn't have access to my two plastic tote bins of medical supplies, band aids, life vests, and more. I would only have what was in my very stylish fanny pack and the stroller. 

This leads me to a very stark reality: everyone overpacks for Disneyland. We all do it. Realistically, if you go in the summer (and, if you can, do try to avoid it), it's going to be too hot to wear anything cute and you're going to sweat all over it anyway. Even more realistically, bags get searched going into the park area, so the more bags you have, the more you get searched. 

While going through security one day, the guard complimented me on the fact that I only had my fanny pack and Forrest's small backpack (which is actually a leash, but we'll get to that); little did he know that, originally, I had planned on bringing a cooler, a backpack, and way more crap... only to narrow it down after one very long day. 

The truth is, Disney makes everything available to you. At a price, of course. But what you gain is the ability to spend less time dealing with all the stuff you brought into the parks and more time just enjoying life there. 

With that in mind, this is my list of the essentials you need for Disneyland. 

• Water. If you're driving, buy a Costco pack before you head down. If you fly, get an Uber to Costco in Anaheim and buy a pack there. Put as many bottles in the fridge as will fit.
• 1 small bag. I'm talking small here. I bought this fanny pack (or bum bag, if you're British and think I'm very gross) before we left and I don't regret it. I looked extremely frumpy, but I was hands free. It had enough room to hold my ticket, my debit card and license, my cash, sunscreen, lip balm, and a few extra hair ties. I can also use it for hiking in the future.  
• Sunscreen. Seriously. Just buy 3-4 bottles of sunscreen and take at least one in the park every day. I saw so many sunburned children and it broke my heart. Reapply every 90 minutes. 
• Two snacks. Not a box of snacks. Not every snack ever. TWO SNACKS. Every day in the park, I packed my son a fig bar (his favorite) and a packet of applesauce. He always ate both, plus other snacks that we bought ourselves. 
• For younger children: a bottle & formula; a water cup; diapers; and a pack of wipes. I bought travel packs of wipes to keep in Forrest's backpack, which we used as our "diaper bag." 
• A "safety harness." Some people let their young toddlers run freely in the park because, ultimately, it is safe. However, Forrest is a runner and if I set him down, he would be halfway across the state if I let him. This is why we use a leash. This is the one we have. It gave Forrest some freedom in the park, without me having a panic attack that he was running straight at a pretzel cart. 

That's it. That's all you need. I know, right? Michelle, where's the Motrin? What about the band aids? A first aid kit? Ponchos? Jackets? Changes of clothes? Girl, leave that in the hotel room. If you really need it, you can go get it. If it's urgent, Disneyland does have first aid centers where you can get band aids. If you have small children, they have fully stocked changing rooms in the Baby Care Center on Main Street USA. You don't need to bring your whole kitchen in the park. 

3 Tips for Taking Your Toddler to Disneyland

Hi, I'm Michelle and I kind of royally screwed up a vacation to Disneyland. 

Ok, hear me out: I really thought my toddler would enjoy it. As I wrote in my newsletter over the weekend (oh, you don't get my newsletter? You can sign up here), I made the terrible mistake of assuming that my child was essentially a very small clone of myself and would enjoy everything I do. 

Well, lesson learned: you gotta ease your kid into it. You can't just jump on your favorite ride and think they'll be ok with it. Especially if you already know that your toddler is terrified of loud noises and enclosed spaces like elevators. Oops.

In all fairness to my husband and I, we've never really taken a family vacation before. We just didn't know a lot of things. And this trip gave us a chance to figure out how to make the most of even crappy situations. Midway through the second day, I wanted to cry; I felt like I wasn't having fun, like Forrest wasn't having fun. I felt really bummed. Instead of giving in and just calling it a bust and not trying, my husband and I talked it out: we came up with a plan to make our last day in the parks as fun as possible. And you know what? It worked. We really hit our stride. 

So, that's a really long way of saying: we made mistakes; we learned from them; we learned how to have fun regardless. 

This week, I'll also be posting my packing list dos and don'ts, so I won't be mentioning any tips relating to packing in this post. These, however, are my tips for making Disneyland a fun trip--something my husband and I didn't figure out until our last day (which really did redeem the whole trip). 

1. Adjust your expectations.

First and foremost, a toddler cannot and will not experience Disneyland the same way a child, teenager, or even adult does.  Toddlers, especially young toddlers, aren't great at drawing the line between reality and fake yet. To them, a lot of things seem "real" because they don't know any better. So when I took my son on Pirates of the Caribbean, he thought it was real. And terrifying. Can you imagine? 

Toddlers aren't going to want to ride the big thrill rides, or anything extremely dark and loud. To start, stick with the classics: the carousel, It's a Small World, and the Dumbo ride are great. If your toddler is apprehensive, pick a ride they can watch for a while to get a feel for what's going to happen. Also, take advantage of shops, walkthroughs, and character meets. They'll have much more fun with those than most rides. 

2. Download the Disneyland app. 

This really was a lifesaver in the park. The Disneyland app is a place where you can buy and link your tickets and Fast Passes, link your Photopass for character meet and greets, and get a list of waiting times for rides, meet and greets, and restaurants. Seriously. It was great for planning which area to go to next to maximize our time. It's also how we ended up meeting Tinkerbell with zero planning and zero line; we were the first people there! 

3. Establish a good routine.

The maximum amount of time Forrest (age 22 months) could handle in the park was... about 2.5 hours. Yeah, that's it. We got to the parks at 7:30, got in the gates at 8:00, and by 10, he was usually ready for a nap. We would walk back to our room, get him down for a nap, and then go to lunch. We would go back to the park from around 1pm to 3pm, then back to the room again for him to have some chill time: a movie, dinner, and milk, then bedtime at 5:30pm. 

After that, our other family members would stay in the condo with Forrest while Danny and I enjoyed the parks. It was a perfect situation. We got time with our son in the parks and then time with just each other. This won't always be possible for us, but it worked this time. And, hopefully, you'll find a routine that works with you too. You know your child best and you know your child's routine--and for the best vacations, honestly, that should be maintained as much as possible to prevent tantrums. 

5 Meal Ideas for Picky Toddlers

Before Forrest turned 1, he was an excellent eater. He would regularly eat meals of chicken, broccoli, and potatoes, or pasta, or just about anything. He ate protein and vegetables great. 

But a few weeks after he turned 1, everything changed. Like most toddlers, he became increasingly more picky--and any change in his temperament (say, a molar cutting or a cold) made him unwilling to eat just about anything.

As he's gotten older, I've found ways to sneak in everything he needs: fruits & veggies, vitamins, protein, meat, and more. Here are a few meal ideas that I always return to. They're easy, they produce the least amount of waste, and they make it easy to hide things!

1. Quesadillas, Grilled Cheese, or English Muffin Pizza

Forrest will eat carbs and cheese all day, every day. These three foods all fall into this category: carb + cheese + the capability to hide other foods. When I make quesadillas, I will mash black beans (a great source of protein) with some veggie puree and then mix it with cheese; that's the filling of the quesadilla. All he cares about is the cheese, anyway!

For grilled cheese, I layer a little turkey or chicken, as well as an leftover roasted veggies, between layers of cheese. English muffin pizzas are so easy to make and if you mix the pizza sauce with veggie puree, you can easily hide an extra serving of veggies--but all he knows is there is cheese, as usual. 

2. "Snack Lunches" 

This is an infinitely popular toddler lunch that I think every mom has done before: you let your toddler have a variety of their favorite snacks. A lot of Forrest's favorites are "sneaky" healthy things: he really loves the Ella's Kitchen oat bars (the carrot + mango flavor is his favorite), as well as the Nature's Bakery oat bars which has whole wheat and real fruit. One of these bars, plus a banana and some yogurt mixed with a pack of Similac Mix-In, is as well-rounded of a lunch as I'll get sometimes! 

3. Mac & cheese 

You know that carb + cheese equation I posted above? This is the same principal. I like the Annie's Organic Mac & Cheese bowls because I can make a single serving (although Forrest usually only eats about half). I make him a bowl and then add half a packet of vegetable and meat puree. (Yes, I know that sounds great.) But he eats it, loves it, and gets a serving of veggies and meat in! 

4. Green Juice

Having a day where you simply cannot get your toddler to eat anything that isn't in the form of white bread? Been there! Forrest had croup recently and all he wanted to eat was milk. Seriously. I decided to take a chance and bought a bottle of Naked Green Machine juice; I mixed half juice and half water. He drank it up in barely 10 minutes. Hey, it's a serving of fruit and vegetables if nothing else. Smoothies and homemade juices are a great way to get some nutrition in your kiddo who is refusing everything else. 

5. Pancakes

If it is in pancake form, Forrest will (usually) eat it. I make both fruit pancakes AND oatmeal pancakes. Here are my basic recipes: 

Fruit Pancakes

• 1 banana, mashed 
• 1 packet of fruit + veggie puree
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• About 4 tablespoons of flour
• Vanilla + cinnamon

Mix well and cook like normal pancakes. 

Oatmeal Pancakes

• 1 serving of oatmeal, cooked
• 1/2 packet of fruit + veggie puree
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp baking powder
• About 3-4 tablespoons of flour
• Vanilla + cinnamon 

Mix well and cook like normal pancakes. 

The possibilities for adding to these recipes are endless. I will often use leftover oatmeal, add a bit of yogurt to up the calories, and try new combinations of fruit and vegetables. Forrest will eat them, covered in peanut butter, every day. 

---

Are you enjoying Writing Between Pauses? Good! Take a moment to subscribe to my newsletter here.