Beauty Review: My July 2018 Ipsy Bag

After last month's dramatic opening to my ipsy review, it's nice to be able to say there was no drama with them this month. This month's theme was all about summer and the poolside: the bag is the perfect mesh bag to take to the pool (stuff this baby full of SPF and you're set, honestly). While I don't have access to a pool throughout the summer, it's a nice thought. I live in an area where in ground pools are relatively rare, but a girl can dream, right? 

As always, you can read all my past Ipsy reviews here. If you're interested in trying Ipsy yourself, you can sign up using my referral code here. 

1. Callyssee Caffeine Rush Nourishing Sheet Mask, $19 for 2 masks

You guys know I like masks and ipsy really knows the way to my heart: sending me lots of sheet masks. And these ones are absolutely lovely. Here's what they promise: 

“This mask is infused with caffeine and nutrients to wake up your inner beauty and turn on your outer glow. A cocktail of skin loving ingredients includes nature’s nearly perfect skin softener, Argan Kernal Oil and Soybean Seed Extract, which feel like a rich skin treat. Our hero ingredient, Organic Coffea Arabica Seed Extract, is known to help with encouraging cell renewal and soothing the skin, while Panax Ginseng Root Extract, feels great on your skin and can add a delicate flush to your face.”

Yeah, so that bit about adding a flush to your face... it's true! My face felt so warm after I used this mask, not unpleasant, but until I read that description, it kind of scared me! My face has been very dehydrated since I went to Idaho and despite my best efforts, all my efforts to rehydrate were failing. This mask totally helped though, so if you're in a dry climate, or just need a bit of a pick-me-up, these masks are great. They also smell like coffee, which is really lovely. 

2. Smashbox Cosmetics Always On Liquid Lipstick in Stepping Out, $24

Liquid lipstick is another easy thing for me to love. I wear liquid lipstick everyday. (As a note, you can see a swatch of this lipstick below, as well as a photo of it at the end of this post!) I was very impressed by the Smashbox lipstick I received in December, so I was really excited to try this liquid lip. And I have to say, even though $24 is pretty steep for a liquid lipstick for me, it was so comfortable to wear. This liquid lip comes with a hefty promise: "An 8-hour, liquid matte lipstick that’s specifically formulated to be comfortable and not dry out your lips." And honestly, that's not a lie. I wore this lipstick for an entire day at home and forgot I was wearing it a few times. It's that good! 

3. Elizabeth Mott Tapered Blending Brush, $16

I love collecting brushes, but I hate spending money on them. Ipsy has been great because it has rapidly expanded my collection of brushes, especially by sending me really high quality ones I wouldn't have ever bought myself. I've been needing a new fluffy blending brush for eyeshadow; my tried-and-true Urban Decay brush has started shedding, so it's time to send it to the great beyond, and this brush stepped perfectly into its spot. Absolutely love it. 

4. Ella Eden Eyeshadow in Harmony, $14

This was the one product that, when I saw it on my sneak peek, I was very disappointed in. A pink eyeshadow? Really? Haven't I said I'm tired of receiving eyeshadows!? However, this is such a pretty color (it's the first swatch above) and it really does look great. I like that it is a more cool-toned peach-pink, instead of being very warm and orangey, so it's a little more suited to my color. Here's what the eyeshadow promises: 

“Ella EDEN’s mineral pressed/compact eye shadow gives you a versatile base of color you can easily add to, or wear alone. The creamy consistency is easy to blend, and the deep hues create the perfect look for conservative daytime wear, or bolder statements to highlight your nightlife. ”

While that's true, I did personally feel that this eyeshadow struggled to be applied with a brush. I ended up using my finger and it was quite flaky, but I made it work. It's pretty enough that it works! I also used it as a highlighter over my blush and it looks great that way too! 

5. Pacifica Coconut Blush in Beaming & Tenderheart, $20

I love a blush! You can see these blushes swatched above (the two middle shades). The shade Beaming is the bronzer and the shade Tenderheart is the blush. The bronzer looked great on me, but the blush itself is quite dark; I had to be really careful not to apply too heavily and make myself look like a clown! With a little effort, it looks great though. There is quite a lot of fall out with both shades. One odd note: I couldn't find these blushes on Pacifica's website, which suggests they were discontinued. However, based on the price of single blushes from Pacifica ($14 a pop) and other blush sets ($24 for 3), I settled on $20 as a price for these two.

Final Thoughts

The value of this bag is $93. I will have to look, but I think this is the highest value of any ipsy bag I've received so far! I also like everything in it. Initially, when I saw my sneak peek of products, I was disappointed: another liquid lip, another eyeshadow, siiiiigh. But once it arrived and I played with everything, I really ate my words. I love everything in this bag and they are all high quality products. My favorite is probably the brush (I've been needing a tapered brush like this to replace my Urban Decay blending brush, which has started loosing hairs) and the Pacifica blush--you know I love a blush! 

To the left here, you can see a look I did with everything from this ipsy bag: the liquid lip, the blush & bronzer, and the eyeshadow. I also used the tapered brush to blend and the eyeshadow as a highlight and blush on top of the Pacifica blush, just for an extra rosie glow. (I'm also wearing the Aerie Hometown sweatshirt in this photo, which is my absolute favorite.) 

Do you want to try ipsy? Sign up for ipsy using my referral code here! 

Motherhood & Friendship: It's Harder Than it Looks

When I was a freshman in college, my best friend from high school got pregnant. We were very, very close the summer between senior year in high school and freshman year in college--and throughout our first year at college, we wrote each other letters, sent each other silly emails, text messages, and Facebook wall posts. (Remember Facebook wall posts!?) We were each others rock when we didn't really have a lot of other people who understood our background: we were perfectionist girls from small towns outside of a major metro, who went to a Catholic school where everyone was just a little wealthier than we were. We worked hard, took AP classes, played sports, and got good scholarships. 

I wish I could tell you that our friendship survived her pregnancy, that her becoming a mother and having to quit school, because you can't keep a soccer scholarship that covers most of your tuition when you're pregnant. I wish I could tell you that I had been there for her. And truly, I did try: I was 19 years old, however, and while that's no excuse, I didn't really have all the tools necessary to deal with her circumstances.

We fell apart for several years. My best friend disappeared into the background of my life; I remembered her fondly, but I wasn't sure exactly how to reconnect with her. But a year before my wedding, as I was trying on wedding dresses, I spotted her: she was trying on wedding dresses too. We hugged each other, we swore to get together... and we never did. I've chatted with her a few times since: we've met up for dinner once, she gave me the last of her breastmilk when Forrest was in the hospital just after his birth (a favor that is truly one of the greatest kindnesses anyone has ever done for me), and we talk occasionally on Facebook. But the spark of our friendship--that exciting feeling to have someone who just knew me, who understood all my quirks, who laughed at the same jokes as me, who sent me goofy cards she found in the grocery store just because--it's gone and it doesn't really come back. 

Recently, I was reading Jimsy Jampots, a newsletter by Amy that I really love, and she talked about friendship, about how some people seem to have a friend group that survives just about everything and others, well, just don't. I'll be the first to tell you I've never been great at making friends; I'm introverted and shy, with a heaping dose of social anxiety. I'm eternally self-conscious, always convinced I'll say exactly the wrong thing. It's like I never learned how to have a conversation, sometimes. But when people get to know me, I really do think I'm quite funny. But friends? Lasting friendships? That's something I really struggle with. 

In Amy's newsletter, she included a link to an article on the Pool about friendship and motherhood, and about how friendships shift and alter throughout our lives, but especially when we have kids... or don't have kids. You can read that article here. It got me thinking about my friend and how our friendship really dissolved once she was pregnant and especially after she had a baby. I was still in college, living a completely different life from her. 

Similarly, almost 3 years ago, I was having a baby when almost none of my friends were. I've written before that I found pregnancy a really fun experience (despite learning later on that I actually had a quite difficult pregnancy), but that I found the first three months of motherhood absolutely brutal. Postpartum life is isolating, exhausting, and, truly, just not very fun. Some people adjust really well and some people just don't. 

One line stuck out from that article by Robyn Wilder in particular: 

“Recently, the Daily Mail zeroed in on a “controversial” blog post by Australian writer Nadia Bokody, in which she claimed that “I can’t be your friend anymore now you’re a mother”. And in reply I’d like to say this: “Well, of course you fucking can’t.”

I’m not the same as I was before kids. I’m a mother now. I have a pram the size of an SUV that I don’t know how to collapse. I have to watch a YouTube tutorial every time I want to get it on a bus. So, no, I cannot meet you for cocktails in a trendy Brixton bar that you can only access via a broken fridge door in a back alley.”

It's very difficult to explain to people that it's not that I don't want to go to a trendy bar, or, god, even sit on a park bench and eat a sandwich and chat for hours. It's that I literally, physically cannot. I might be able to beg my child off on a babysitter for an hour, but that's just an hour. Or I can bring him along, spend all the time not really listening to someone talk, try to entertain him, annoy everyone else in the coffee shop, bar, or park, and then have to leave early because he didn't get a good nap, or he needs to eat lunch, or some other reason. (And truly, the stroller situation is out of control. Why don't they fold up easily!?) 

Motherhood changes everything in your life. In one monumental way (you have a human life that is dependent on you for basically everything) and in many small, insignificant ways that sometimes feel glaringly painful. They are little paper cuts, reminders that your life is somehow much better, but also much harder, than it was a year ago, or two years ago, or whatever. It's like someone has come into the apartment of your life and just changed the furniture a little bit. Your body doesn't work quite the same anymore and neither does your brain, really; you don't have as much time as you once did to lounge on the couch, or binge watch TV shows, or chat with your friends. Your car has gotten bigger, bulkier, and harder to maneuver and the backseat is basically a non-space, taken up entirely by a plastic potty that you have to carry everywhere, a bag full of extra clothes just in case, snacks, and the carseat that cost about the same as a house payment. You find yourself doing things your parents used to do: folding money into parchment paper and saving in the freezer with peppercorns inside, carefully wiping tennis shoes with wet paper towels to clean the mud off, creating travel books out of old binders and hole punched activity sheets you photocopied from your sister's old books, counting coins out for allowance, creating a chore chart. 

And there are people in my life who don't understand any of these things. They might even have kids themselves, who are older, or who are younger, or maybe they just adjusted to motherhood better than me and don't have to check the stove 3 times before they can get in the car. It makes friendship difficult. It makes it easy to go a week without talking, then two weeks, then somehow it's been two years and you're not even sure how to start the conversation anymore. 

Parenting is hard. It's not the hardest thing in the world and ultimately, it's a choice--but it's still really challenging. And it's hard to juggle parenting and socializing, especially if you, like me, aren't great at socializing to begin with. I've been on both sides of the coin: I've been the one moving on while a friend becomes a parent and I've been the one left in the dust, looking around and wondering when the last time I spoke to so-and-so was. And it's ok. At the end of the day, it's ok for friendships to fade. 

Because, in the meantime, you can find new friendships. Mom groups have bred some of the best friendships I've ever had--people who totally get me, who understand me and my difficulty with parenting, who laugh when I joke about starting a revolution, who understand when I say I don't really know if I want a second baby because I really, really like my first baby. People drift apart and it's hard to make time in the quagmire of our lives, but if you meet someone who is also fighting a two-year-old 13 hours a day, you'll be surprised as how well you can talk over screaming,. 

My 3 Absolute Favorite Masks to Travel With

I love masks. I don't love traveling. But I do like pampering my skin while I'm traveling. I've always heard that it's great to wear a sheet mask on planes, because it protects your skin from the dry air. Next time I take a plane, I'll definitely be packing a sheet mask to relax with... but for now, I want to share the 3 masks that I always bring for road trips and quick weekend trips to keep my skin looking the best it possibly can (even in adverse conditions, like extreme dry heat). 

If you didn't catch my post last week about keeping your skincare routine while traveling, you can read that here. 

1. The Body Shop Tea Tree Skin Clearing Mask

I love the Body Shop's Tea Tree facial cleanser--I use it every single day and it has made a huge difference in my skin. So, when I had a 20% off coupon at Ulta in June, I decided it was time to treat myself to the matching clay mask. Here's what it promises: 

“Cool and deeply cleanse your skin with our Tea Tree infused clay mask. Perfect for blemished complexions, the instantly cooling sensation refreshes skin, without over drying. This mask will help to clear impurities while absorbing excess sebum, leaving skin feeling smoother and clearer looking.”

If you have a lot of issues with acne, this mask is perfect: it contains tea tree oil, which we know helps with acne, but isn't as tight and drying as many clay masks. I've rocked clay masks before and while they always helped my acne a little bit, they also left my skin feeling very dehydrated--which make texture on other areas of my face (like my forehead) worse. This mask doesn't so that; it feels lovely on, smells great, and has made a huge difference in my skin. The next thing I want to try from this line is the Tea Tree Night Mask. 

2. YesTo Coconut 2-Step Lip Kit

I always get chapped lips when I travel, probably because 1) I'm usually drinking less water and 2) I don't have access to my usual glut of lip balms. I'm a firm believer that lip balm just makes dry lips worse, but at this stage in my life, I'm too far gone: save yourselves, I'm addicted to lip balm, I know it's a problem. That being said, this mask is one of my favorites to bring on trips or to pick up while I'm traveling (because it's at almost any Walgreens, CVS, Wal-Mart, or Target). Here's what it does: 

“Say Yes To the Coconut 2 Step Mask and going coo coo for coconut, sugar and sodium hyaluronate to plump and smooth lips naturally. Step 1 features a lip scrub to exfoliate and smooth lips, preparing them for plumping. Step 2 includes a lip mask to plump and hydrate lips, making them softer, fuller and more supple.”

I'm a huge fan of YesTo products; they are one of the handful of truly cruelty free drugstore brands out there and their masks have always worked for me. While this mask does contain coconut oil, it's not a face mask; it's a lip mask, so I don't have to worry about the oil clogging my pores. (Reminder: coconut oil is horrible to put on your face. Scalp and hair? Ok. Lips? Ok. Face? If you're acne prone, absolutely never.) 

3. Oh K! Korean Multi-Step Charcoal Mask 

The Oh K! masks are a Korean brand that you can find at CVS and Walgreens. They're super cute, which great packaging, and this one is one of my favorites. If you're going on a short trip, perhaps just overnight, it's a great one to bring along because it condenses your routine into one mask. It includes a cleanser, a mask, and a moisturizing serum, so you're all set. Here's what it promises: 

“Charcoal acts as a magnet to extract dirt from the skin and this multi-step mask offers a complete cleansing regime: deep clean wash, charcoal fiber mask to remove impurities and a moisturizing serum. Fiber masks are super nourishing, the sheet acts as a barrier to prevent the formula evaporating so skin can absorb 3 x more than a liquid mask.”

Those are powerful promises! This mask includes one of my absolute favorite serums: the moisturizing serum seriously was so amazing, I tried to see if Oh K! sells is alone. It doesn't appear they do, so I do one of these masks every month (they're a little spendier than the average sheet mask) just to use that dang serum! Cute, compact, and effective, it really doesn't get better than that. 

Who Has the Better Foundation Match Quiz: Ulta vs. Sephora

Foundation is, and always has been, my bugbear. It's the one part of my routine that I can never really settle on. If the shade is good, then the wear is terrible; if the wear is great, it oxidizes, or breaks down, or just looks shiny as a new penny by the end of the day. I've tried all kinds methods to keep my foundation set and, while I finally settled on a good method in the last 6 months, I got it into my head that it was time to find... the Perfect Foundation. 

A few weeks ago, I was watching ThaTaylaa's video on her experience with the Ulta Foundation Quiz and it struck me that I should do that too. And then, as I was preparing to get all the foundations it recommend, I realized that Sephora has a foundation quiz as well. Ulta and Sephora have some crossover, in terms of the foundations that they carry, but they also have some exclusives; an example is that Ulta doesn't carry the Peach Perfect foundation from TooFaced, but it does exclusively have Tarte's FaceShape foundation and the Shape Tape concealer. 

I decided to buy what I could, get some samples, and test 3 foundations from each quiz to find the ultimate winner. 

How I Took the Quizzes

You can find the Ulta foundation quiz here and the Sephora foundation quiz here.  Each quiz asks the same 3 questions, with roughly the same answers, so I tried to answer them the exact same. 

• I said I wanted medium coverage.
• I said I wanted a satin or natural finish. 
• I said I wanted long wearing. 

Sephora did ask an extra few questions about preference (with sunscreen or without, liquid or cream, etc), but those don't have much influence on the end results. I got roughly 10-15 foundation suggestions from each website; Ulta's included some drugstore brands, which was nice. 

Which Foundations I Picked

Due to money constraints (and honestly, time), I decided to pick 3 foundations from each store to try. 

From Ulta, I chose: 

1. Maybelline Dewy & Smooth Fit Me in Shade 110 Porcelain
2. NARS Radiant Longwear in Oslo
3. TooFaced Born This Way foundation in Swan

From Sephora, I chose: 

1. Tarte Rainforst of the Sea in Fair Neutral
2. Marc Jacobs Shameless Youthful Look in Y110 
3. TooFaced Peach Perfect in Snow

Methodology for Testing

I tested approximately 1 foundation a day for 2 weeks, trying to wear each foundation twice with different application methods. I kept note of the time I applied it, what I applied it with, how it wore, and any issues I had with application and wear. I kept notes on my computer with specific dates and times. I tried to be as fair as possible with each foundation, in terms of the amount I applied, how I applied it, and how long I wore it. 

I ended up only buying one foundation: the Maybelline Dewy & Smooth. I got samples from Sephora of all the others, which they weren't super happy about, but they did it. (Thanks, Sephora!) 

The Swatches & Color Match

As you can see from swatches above, as much as I tried to get all of the foundations in a shade closest to my natural skin tone, they vary greatly. I'm a fair neutral shade, and true neutral foundations can be difficult to find. Initially, I was sure that the Marc Jacobs foundation would be the best match for me--and while I'll save my conclusion of best color match, it actually turned out to not be. It's funny how different foundations can look blended in versus just swatched! 

The way I determined my color for most of these was by using Sephora's Color IQ feature; I'm a 2Y01 in their color matching, so I picked the appropriate shades based on that.

Wearing TooFaced Peach Perfect Foundation

Wearing the NARS Radiant Longer Wear 

The Results

I thought for a long time how to best go through this and I finally settled on sharing a brief review of each foundation, as well as information for how I wore it. Then, I'll share my picks for a few distinctions (least favorite, most favorite, best wearing, best color match, etc.) Ok, let's jump in! 

• Maybelline Dewy & Smooth Fit Me in shade 110 Porcelain: I wore this 2 days in a row. The first time, I wore it with setting powder underneath and Maybelline Fit Me Loose Powder on top; the second time, I wore setting powder both underneath and on top (It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores loose powder both times). Both times, I felt like it looks really good going on, but it has relatively low coverage. The first time I wore it, it started breaking down and feeling tacky within 2 hours, and looked quite cake-y within three hours. in general I found that this didn't wear very well and it oxidized about 1/2 a shade each time I wore it. There is also a smell to this foundation; not as bad as the Wet'n'Wild Photofocus Foundation, but pretty chemical. 
   
• NARS radiant Longwear in Oslo: I wore this two days in a row, both times with It Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores loose powder underneath and on top. It went on really beautifully and seemed like a very good color match. In terms of how it looked immediately after applying, it was one of my favorites. However, by noon it had settled into my pores really badly and looked very cake-y on my chin and forehead. It had also broken down and rubbed off my nose and upper lip, emphasized the texture on my cheeks, and generally look awful within a few hours. 
   
• TooFaced Born This Way in Swan: Initially, I thought this would be one of the worst color matches; however, it ended up looking beautiful on my skin and didn't oxidize at all throughout the day. I applied it with my usual method of setting powder under and over it. It wore really well. I did notice a little bit of breakdown around my nose, and I got quite oily on my chin and forehead, but not as bad as the previous two foundations. I was really impressed with this foundation. 
   
• Tarte Rainforst of the Sea in Fair Neutral: First things first, this was too dark the moment I put it on. With lots of blending it looked fine, but I could definitely see the line to where I blended it. I went on beautifully, however, and looked great throughout the day. I wore my setting powder both under the foundation and over the top, as usual. Some breakdown on my chin and some settling into the pores on my forehead, but not as bad as I expected considering how dewy this foundation is. It did feel quite oily and tacky; I used blotting papers throughout the day and that did control the oily look quite well. 
   
• Marc Jacobs Shameless Youthful Look in Y110: I thought this shade would be really close to my natural skin tone but going on, it was quite yellow, even in my admittedly bad bathroom light. I felt like it really enhanced and emphasized my texture. The coverage is quite low. I wore it with my usual setting powder under and over. It settled very oddly on my forehead almost immediately and it had a powdery look to it, almost as if it was just sitting on top of my skin. Throughout the day it got very cake-y, settled into all my pores and lines, emphasized my texture, and almost completely disappeared from my chin. It transferred almost everywhere and I had to wash it off my 3pm. I also felt like it made me breakout really bad. 
   
• TooFaced Peach Perfect in Snow: This is the foundation I was most excited for! As usual, I wore it with setting powder under and over. It smells very sweet, like artificial peaches, but I didn't find it overwhelming. I'm not sure the color is the best match for me, but it did look great on my skin. The moment I applied it, it seemed to dry down to an extreme matte, which was really interesting. After about 5 hours, it wore really well, particularly on my cheeks and forehead; it did settle into my pores somewhat on my nose, and did breakdown slightly on my upper lip. I actually wore this through a nap both days and it looked great even after I'd slept in it! 

Here are a few distinctions:

• Best Color Match: TooFaced Born This Way in Swan
• Best Performance: TooFaced Peach Perfect. If you are very oily and need a matte, long wearing foundation, honestly this is the best I've ever worn. 
• Least Favorite: Surprisingly, probably Marc Jacobs. Being a luxury brand, I was sure MJ would perform amazingly--but I was very disappointed by this foundation. 
• Foundation I Would Purchase: I will probably purchase either of the TooFaced foundations in the next 3-4 months. Both wore extremely well and, in terms of price, gave the biggest bang for their buck.  

Which Quiz Got It Right? 

My two favorite foundations came from either quiz--so it's hard to narrow down which one really "got it". Each quiz, of the three foundations I picked from each one, gave me two foundations that worked well enough that I would consider purchasing. I do think that Ulta's quiz is better as it gave me some of the same recommendations as the Sephora quiz, but also provided some drugstore brands. If you're shopping on a budget, that's definitely a bonus. 

Have you tried either of these foundation quizzes? What did you think? What do you look for when it comes to foundation? 

How to Maintain Your Skincare Routine While Traveling

I know I'm not the only one who feels like traveling does an absolute number on my skin. Switching between different time zones, climates, and more can make my skin go absolutely haywire. Case in point: I spent a week in Idaho this month and even though I kept up my skincare routine, I was left with rough, bumpy, red, dehydrated skin by the end of the week. *Cut to me whining here.* 

Skin is a delicate thing. Sometimes, I wish I worried just a little bit less about my skin--but I've been chasing "perfect skin" for a long time. I know it's not going to be attainable; skin is supposed to have texture, pores, and more. But dryness? Redness? Irritated bumps? No thanks. 

Without further ado, let's talk about how to maintain your skincare routine while you're traveling--and that includes packing everything up. 

1. Narrow down what you need to bring. 

I think most people with serious skincare routines experience that our routines are changeable, depending on what's going on. A prime example, for me, is that if I'm noticing a lot of dryness, I'll use a hyaluronic acid mask or serum; if I'm breaking out, I'll stop using whatever foundation is hurting me and start using a little extra jojoba oil. It's a balance and unfortunately, on vacation, you're stuck with the bare essentials of your routine. So narrow everything down: what is the order of things you do every single night? For me, it includes: 

• Make up remover: jojoba oil 
• Face wash: The Body Shop Tea Tree Face Wash
• Toner: Mario Badescu Rose Toner
• Moisturizer: Pacifica Crystal Youth moisturizer

That's just the barebones essentials, the things I know will keep my skin as good as it can, even in dry, super hot weather. 

2. Packing it up. 

Now, how do you pack all things? Personally, I do not like traveling with my giant bottle of jojoba oil and face wash. I try to keep my packing to a minimum. So here's what I do: I put dollops of everything I need in contact cases. You heard me: those little wells are perfect for packing two or three days worth of oil, moisturizer, and face wash. I usually use one case per item. You can buy a value pack of contact cases that are color coded at Target. Then, I just pack those contact cases into a makeup bag, along with a few other essentials. They are less likely to leak and help you stay organized. 

3. Making time. 

This is the hardest bit on vacation, isn't it? Making time to actually wash your face at the end of the day instead of collapsing into bed with some room service or snacks. The way I do this is that it gives me about 10 or 15 minutes to decompress every evening of vacation. I find traveling very stressful (I'm actually not a huge fan!) and so those 15 minutes are my life blood; I need them in order to sleep well and make it through the next day. It also helps ground me and make me feel a little bit more at home. And if my skin is going haywire from the weather or a different climate, well, it makes me feel like I'm doing a little something that makes a difference. 

4. Correcting when you get home. 

Maintaining your routine while traveling can go a long way towards ensuring that your skin keeps looking great. But a lot of things are out of our control on vacation. As I mentioned, my skin got incredibly dehydrated while I was in Idaho: not dry, but I started noticing bumps and redness that is typical of when my skin is in need of some major TLC. Once I got home, I started using rosehips oil (great for when your skin needs extra moisture, as well as to reduce redness) and my hyaluronic acid mask. If your skin decides to go off the rails while you're on vacation, you can always pop into a drug store for a mask or add an extra moisturizer to your routine; and when you get home, you can take steps to baby your skin and give it that extra TLC. 

5 Tips for Shopping at TJ Maxx

If you had asked me two years ago if I would prefer shopping at TJ Maxx, Marshall's, HomeGoods, and all similar and associated stores, I would have told you you were out of your mind. I've always avoided these stores like the plague; in my mind, they were disorganized and a little gross. 

Friends, I was wrong. 

I've recently converted my mom to a TJ Maxx and Marshall's fan. And just the other day, I found myself in a conversation about getting the best deals in these stores. As it turns out, I've gone enough that I've developed a system, without even realizing it. I've gotten a lot of great deals, especially on beauty and makeup items, and I decided it was time to share the secret to my success. 

1. Go in the morning on a weekday. 

This one is not super possible for a lot of people, which I totally realize. However, I've always had my best luck at TJ Maxx and Marshall's on Thursday mornings, as opposed to Saturdays. The store tends to be more organized and clean on Thursday mornings and my local stores stock on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 

2. Check everything before you buy it. 

It goes without saying: some people are absolute animals in TJ Maxx and Marshall's. The number of times I've found a great find (like a Stila lipstick or a MAC lipstick), only to open it and find it completely destroyed, used, or gouged... it's too much. But I've learned to religiously check everything I find at TJ Maxx and Marshall's just so I don't end up with something I have to end up throwing away. 

3. Ask the employees if something hasn't been stocked yet. 

A few months ago, I was on a quest to find one of the Kat Von D Light & Shade palettes (this is before Kat really went off the rails), as a few of my friends in a beauty group had found them. I was searching the beauty section in my local Marshall's and an employee asked if she could help. I mentioned that I'd seen Kat Von D palettes online and she replied, "Well, let me go back and check." She did! They didn't have any (and they ended up not receiving any), but she did tell me that if you see something online that others have found at TJ Maxx and/or Marshall's, don't be afraid to ask employees; sometimes they get things and don't stock them for a long time. 

4. Set a limit. 

A time limit, a spend limit, some kind of limit. My limit is usually $20, sometimes $50 if I'm looking for something for my house (like a shelf that I still haven't found). Having a limit helps keep me in check and keeps me from just buying everything. 

5. Go frequently. 

Right now, I've been searching for a rope basket to use as a laundry hamper in my bathroom, as well as a ladder shelf to add a bit of extra storage in there too. I know I've seen both at TJ Maxx before, but right now, they just aren't there. So I've been going nearly every weekend, just to check. So far, I haven't found what I'm looking for, but I know if I check often enough, I'll find it. If you're really in the market for a specific piece, going back often will make you more likely to spot it at a great price. 

Why All the Advice on Potty Training is Actually the Worst

We started potty training in May 2017. Yes, you read that right: May 2017. Forrest was just over 18 months old and I had started to get panicked because other babies in my due date group were either already working on potty training, or were completely out of diapers. "Oh god," I thought, "he's behind." So we bought a potty seat, a small plastic potty, and the Elmo potty training DVD, as well as about 400 books on the subject. 

We watched the Elmo DVD repeatedly. Forrest sat on the potty. We had staring contests over the potty training books. And all the while, he never actually peed in the potty once. We kept trying. I had read advice that told me not to take it too seriously, to let him learn, but also I had to be in control, but also not to give him anxiety about it, but also he needed to be potty trained and it has to happen eventually, right, and how does it happen, guys?! 

I was stressed out by September when he turned 2 and was no closer to using a potty than I was to achieving time travel. I gave up. Over the holidays, I just let bygones be bygones; I didn't have the time or mental capacity to do it. 

Then, in February, we started over again. As I've said several times, March through May were very difficult months for us. And in February, we started having some potty training success (thank goodness), only to have Forrest develop pretty severe anxiety about the potty. The sound of the water would often make him panic and stop peeing, so we were still changing a lot of diapers. I was exhausted. I felt like it would never happen. In fact, I started to wonder if he would ever be potty trained at all. 

If you've ever potty trained a toddler, you know that it can feel like it's just never going to happen. 

Diapers are safe. Even for parents, they are safe: you know when you're out and about with your kid that they have a diaper and nothing bad will happen. Blowouts happen, sure, but that often (at least in our case and, truly, condolences to those parents out there who deal with blowouts multiple times a day). I started to get as stressed as Forrest, which surely wasn't helping things. 

I read all the advice. Anxiety for toddlers trying to potty train? Pour water into the potty to help them get used to the noise. Did it. Didn't help. A toddler who refuses to try? Either give them space,., or just refuse to give them a diaper. If they pee on the floor, they pee on the floor. (Listen, it's a no from me in that regard.) 

I read every solution about potty training out there. I read all the books, all the blog posts, all the parenting articles. Some suggested just waiting, deadlines for preschool be damned. Some suggested forcing the issue and spending three days in one room with a potty and a lot of juice, which truly sounds like some version of torture cooked up by parent blogs, honestly. 

In the end, do you know what happened? 

One day, he just did it. He was at my mom's house, he asked to use the potty, and he did. Then he did it every single time after that. Then, three days later, he was wearing underpants. It felt like it happened at warp speed: one day I was lamenting on Instagram that he would never be potty trained and the next day, he just was. 

It's been a few weeks now and I'm honestly still in shock a little bit. All that time, all that struggling, and you know what? All the advice I read was absolute garbage.

It's incredibly easy to write about parenting. In hindsight, it can sometimes feel like you put all the pieces together right. I have no idea if I did the right thing with Forrest. Is he permanently scarred from those two months he spent anxiously sitting on a potty? Could he have been potty trained at 2 if I'd just tried harder? Who knows!? I sure don't. And for everyone out there who claims they have the answers--of what is easiest, of what works immediately--I can't help but think that either 1) the days of actually being in the trenches of potty training, or breastfeeding, or whatever are so far behind them that they've literally forgotten or 2) they're so caught up in appearing perfect that they need to make it seem like they have the answers to everything. And that's not a judgemental thing: it's just the truth and I know I've probably done it myself. 

What else have I learned from this potty training journey? Well, for the sake of all the other moms in the trenches right now, sitting with their kids on potties in living rooms or cooped up in the bathroom for 20 minutes or watching that Elmo potty training DVD for the 500th time, here's a list of everything I learned from potty training: 

1. It doesn't happen overnight. 

First on my list of "things that are absolute lies" are those articles, books, and methods devoted to potty training your child in three days. Not only do those methods make all parents feel like absolute crap for thinking being closed up in a room with your naked toddler and a pile of juice boxes sounds like absolute hell and the last thing we want to do, they're also completely misguided. Those methods don't teach kids to actually learn to follow the rules of their body; they're just being shoved onto the potty by their parents for 3 days until eventually, they get used to sitting on the potty in intervals set by, guess who, the parents. 

The thing about parenting is that almost nothing happens on the schedule you think it will. Their development, growth, interests, and more happen sporadically, randomly, almost impulsively. And in a time of instant gratification, taking on something like potty training, which is about teaching a skill, can feel incredibly daunting. We want it to happen overnight because we are ready, we are tired of buying diapers... but we don't think about what our little person is learning. And really, it's not about making them do something: it's about teaching them a skill that lasts their entire lives. You can't rush it. 

2. Introducing concepts is important. 

As I said, we've been talking about potty training for over a year. So, even if you don't plan to potty train until after two, or closer to three, or you just want to let them lead... introduce those ideas. Start watching the Elmo potty training DVD (as much as I complain about it, it really was the best) or the Daniel Tiger potty training episode early--like at 18 months to 2 years. Introducing those concepts, even if you don't plan to act on them, helps them develop skills around language. 

3. It's not always about what is easiest for you. 

I'll be honest: sometimes, I feel really selfish because I struggle to set aside my needs for Forrest's. I've definitely gotten better at it. But with potty training, I think it goes without saying that sometimes what seems like it will be easiest won't be what works. Prime example: I did not want Forrest to use a little plastic potty that I had to empty. So messy! But you know what? He just did better with the thing I hated. That's fine. It's fine. There is no point in pressing the issue though. 

4. Stop freaking Googling. 

At a certain point, I just had to stop reading about what to do. It was driving me crazy not having the answer that worked for us. And all the advice, as I've said a few times now, felt conflicting, overly simplistic, or just plain wrong. And it didn't work! So if you're struggling, if you're not sure what to do, here's my advice: stop Googling, let your kid wear a diaper, and give yourself a week to just have fun and not worry about it. 

My Anti-Haul: 5 Things I Just Won't Buy

You might be wondering: what is an anti-haul?

If you aren't tuned in to beauty gurus on YouTube, you'd be forgiven for not knowing what an anti-haul is. Started by Kimberly Clark, an anti-haul is basically a list of things you won't buy for various reasons: ethical issues with the company or individual who makes the product, bad packaging or design, or some other issue. Sometimes, they can be petty. But sometimes, they can be really fun. 

I really enjoy anti-haul videos. And while some people might think they are needlessly negative, I completely disagree. Sometimes, there is value in admitting that, even if you love makeup, you don't need to buy every single product. At their heart, anti-hauls are anti-consumerism--and if you know me, you know that one thing I really struggle with, in being a lifestyle blogger, is ensuring that I'm not recommending aimless or needless spending. The idea of collecting merely to collect, or to have without using, is pretty repulsive (and stressful) to me. By watching anti-hauls, I feel like I get a better list to narrow down products that are worth purchasing. 

Another reason I love anti-hauls is because they allow us (bloggers and vloggers) opportunities to explain how and why we vote with our wallets. My favorite beauty podcast, Natch Beaut, talks about this a lot: when you purchase a product, you're effectively endorsing that company. And if you don't agree with what that company does, you don't give them money, you don't endorse them. I believe in this wholeheartedly. And there are times where I purchase or review things that make me feel bad (like Maybelline or any company that tests on animals), but it's often because other options just aren't working for me. Overwhelmingly, however, I try to only purchase from ethical companies, and anti-hauls, especially from other influencers, allow me to learn more about the people behind the brands. 

So without further ado, here are 5 things I just won't be buying. 

1. Flesh

When I first started seeing ads for Flesh on my Facebook and Instagram, I got excited. A brand, called Flesh, that features a huge array of shades and challenges what the color "flesh tone" realy is. Baby, I'm interesting. And then, I found out they are owned by Revlon. Yeah, you heard me: Flesh the brand is owned by Revlon. Here is a good Twitter thread on why this is problematic, especially as Flesh has poised itself as a "woke" and inclusive brand. I'm disappointed, but guess what? They're not getting my money. 

2. Kat Von D

I don't know if I really need to wax poetic about this one, but I've long been suspicious of Kat Von D because of some poor choices for lipstick colors, including "Underage Red" (YIKES) and "Selektion" (a German word that refers to the selection process during the Holocaust, extreme YIKES). She has some pretty serious ties to antisemitic people and has been caught up in some antisemitic actions herself. But what sealed the deal for me was her anti-vaccine posts on Instagram. And I know what people are going to say: it's her choice and she's allowed to make it. Yes and no. I won't get into it here, but vaccination is an issue of public health; it's not just about her and her baby. And it's my choice to not give money to someone who believes that immunocompromised people can just bite it because they did 5 minutes of Google research. Also, her husband uses swastikas in his artwork and is probably not the father of the year based on this interview. (And yes, it sucks that Kat is such a prominent vegan and behaves this way.) 

3. Any brand by any beauty guru

Every time a beauty guru launches a new brand, I feel a little bit like I'm suffocating. The careers of YouTube beauty gurus stress me out as it is (I really, really would like to see them diversify their business and also, they need to be collecting their sub list somewhere OFF of YouTube just in case the platform dies overnight), so to see them sink money into a brand that will most likely wither and die in the next 5 years really stresses me out. And add to that: most guru brand launches are lackluster. A set of nude lipsticks. A palette with the same dry, warm-toned neutrals. Yawn. Wake me up when it gets interesting, ok? 

4. Warm-toned neutral eye palettes

If I see another copper-toned eye palette, I'm actually just going to throw myself into the sea. Every palette has the same warm, neutral transition shades. The same copper. The same pumpkin orange. The same white. The same shades, over and over again. I'm tired. I'm bored. Make a cool-toned palette PLEASE. 

5. Your MLM

I think every blogger has had a moment where they get a DM from someone in a MLM, admiring our "hustle" and asking if we want to "bump up our business." It's exhausting. I've recommended a few MLM products in my day and while some things I like individually, the pushy nature of those in MLMs, and the feeling that my friendships are withering because all my friends now only want to see me in order to sell me gross oils or something else, really turn me off. No, I don't want to try a waist wrap or some kind of powder to replace my morning coffee or any essential oils. I just want to Instagram in peace. Thank you.