Wow, "The Hobbit" Went Bad Fast

(Note: There will be spoilers in this blog post, so if you haven't seen the movie or read the book and are intent on not having it spoiled, well, sorry.)

I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy; I own DVD copies of all three movies, plus the extended edition blu-rays. I love LOTR and have for a long time. I expected to love the Hobbit movies (despite my pretty "meh" feelings about the book). 

The Hobbit as a book takes me about 2 hours to read. It's a short book. Breezy. Fast-paced. Not too serious. There's some heartache there, but no serious subplots. 

The first film of the Hobbit (the Unexpected Journey) was good; I liked it. It combined the things I loved about the LOTR movies -- the Shire, travel, light adventure, minimal battle scenes -- and created additional characters for me to love. I fell for Thorin, I believed in him; I liked Bilbo, despite knowing what happens to him; I even liked the nameless dwarves and the inexplicably handsome Fili & Kili (let's just admit that Kili is the weirdest looking dwarf in terms of what we know about dwarves, he has to be half-human, right?). 

The second film (The Desolation of Smaug) is where things got a little weird for me. I liked it, just to be clear. It's a good movie! It's fun! Smaug is hilarious (all I can think of when I see Smaug is Benedict Cumberbatch crawling around on the floor with motion-capture balls stuck to his face). It's a good movie! It does a good job expanding the story, creating an interesting match between the elf Tauriel and the potentially half-something-else Kili. I love Lee Pace as Thandruil -- easily the most fabulous elf in all the land. I've watched Desolation of Smaug multiple times on my own without being forced, so obviously, I enjoy this movie. 

Danny and I broke down and finally went to see the last film (the Battle of the Five Armies). I knew it was going to be battle-heavy going in, but... it was still a lot of battle scenes. Like, a lot of them. (Note: Here's where spoilers start.)

I was not prepared for the movie to move so slowly. It was like molasses dripping out of a bottle! And yet, there were still moments, despite how slowly everything was moving, where I found myself asking -- wait, what happened? How did they escape!? How did the townfolk of Laketown get out of the rubble of the town? It went from night-time to suddenly they were dragging themselves onto shore. Did they all swim? How did so many boats escape from underneath Smaug's body? Later on, towards the end, how did they beat back the orcs? Did the eagles help? The eagles seemed to go straight for the armies on the ground -- not the orcs attacking the city. 

It happens in the book, I know, but I wasn't truly prepared for Thorin's almost immediate shift to insanity. (Danny and I laughed after the movie because we wanted dragon sickness to turn Thorin into a little dragon -- with short stumpy legs, a beard, and an amazing fur coat.) He went a full 180 from his previous personality in the space of about 24 hours in movie-time. How was that possible? 

Both Danny and I thought it was hilarious that Smaug was killed within 5 minutes of the movie starting. Really? Really? Also, one big arrow takes down a huge dragon in about 10 seconds. Really? Did it hit his heart? A lung? No? After Smaug died so quickly, I knew I was in for a movie that was going to dwell on some weird aspects.

How many scenes of Thorin's craziness did we need? How many scenes of Thorin being told "you're nuts" did we need? How many scenes of Gandalf telling people another army was coming did we need? Let me tell you: one. You need one such scene, maybe two if they are different. Instead, we had the same ideas explained over and over again: Thandruil doesn't listen to anybody; Legolas loves Tauriel, Tauriel loves the inexplicably pretty dwarf; nobody will listen to Gandalf; Bard is so noble; Thorin is crazy; Bilbo is sneaky. Thanks! I think we got those bits! 

Also, I hated the addition of the Alfred character in Laketown/elsewhere. Just kill him already!! We get it, he loves gold and is a wimp; we've had it slammed into our heads in literally every other scene, completely unnecessarily. Just kill him! I don't care! No one cares! This added minutes to a movie that didn't need any minutes tacked on to it. 

Thorin is the absolute worst. Again, having read the book, I knew his fate. However, the first two movies set him up to fall so hard. He is established as a honorable leader in the first two movies, maintaining a level-headedness and stability. And yet, in the third movie, just to reiterate, he is immediately insane. There is little indication of this in the second film. He goes from covering Smaug in gold and kicking him out to... nuts immediately afterwards. Ok. Completely against his established character, but ok. 

There was also an easily 5 minute scene where various things characters had said to Thorin in the last 20 minutes repeated over and over as he stood on a gold floor. It was such a long scene that I leaned over to Danny and whispered that this was the longest, most boring scene I'd ever sat through ever. And I saw Eyes Wide Shut in the theater when I was a kid! Guess what? The scene ended with him realizing he was being a total nutjob. Congrats, Thorin! You have an ounce of self-awareness. I don't know why a movie's worth of dialogue had to be repeated at us for it, but oh well. 

The battle scenes were like the rest of the movie: drawn out and repetitive. Did I need to see Thorin's cousin smash in the heads of five orcs in a row? No, one would have shown he was a competent fighter and used a hammer in battle. Did I need to see every character beheading orcs, killing over and over and over again? No. No, I did not. I get it, it's a battle. Let's move on, please. I rarely ever get bored seeing a movie in a theater (I paid at least $8 to be there, I will fight the boredom), but during the drawn out last half of the movie (all battle, I swear), I found my mind wandering. 

All in all, the thing I would say about this movie was it felt gratuitous and sloppy. Three LOTR movies made sense because there are three books (three long books, I should say). Three Hobbit movies might make sense, but the Hobbit is a very short book that is easily read by 6th graders. By the end of the movie, I felt like I'd been had; LOTR was a labor of love and clearly, the Hobbit movies are an act of greed, pure and simple. Someone wanted my nerd dollars and unfortunately, they got them. 

I Set a Goal to Read 100 Books in 2015 & I Have No Idea Why

A book a week is hard, but sane. Two books a week is self-sabotage, obviously. 

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. When I was younger, I used to worry about how the small choices I made throughout the day could impact my life later; as a child, this meant I would sometimes wonder if a choice I made, like between ice cream or a cookie for a snack, could impact me later on. Like if I chose the ice cream, I'd be okay; but if I chose the cookie, it would start a sequence of events that could hurt me. I don't know why I thought this way, but I did and it's an idea that's followed me forever. I've occasionally attributed big mistakes or big accidents to little decisions I made that really had nothing to do with anything at all, probably because of my childhood theory. 

What I'm trying to say is: I've made a lot of mistakes and sometimes, I blame them on weird things. 

Take, for example, my typing in "100" in the little box on Goodreads for my 2015 reading goal. I felt really ill on Friday; my legs hurt, my throat started to hurt, I was uncomfortable and cranky and feverish. I didn't feel good, so I ate a lot of chocolate and ice cream. Clearly, this junk food binge lead me down a path towards a moment of temporary insanity because as I was selecting books I wanted to read on Goodreads, it really did seem like a good idea to pledge myself to reading 100 books in the coming year. 

Ha! I'm a fool. 100 books? Madness. 

Saturday morning, having woken up with an even worse sore throat and a fever, I set myself to quietly drinking coffee and making a list of 100 books to read in 2015. The fever had obviously lengthened my brief moment of insanity. However, as I wrote out a list of 100 books, it started to dawn on me that... 100 is a lot. It's 2 and 1/4 pages typed in a list. It's 100 books, Michelle, what were you thinking??? 

The deed is done though and once I announce something (and by hitting "save" on Goodreads, I announced it plenty), I don't back down. It's about honor now. Principle. Dignity. 

So I started to fool myself into it, as I continued writing my list of books: "100 books isn't that many, really. I mean, two a week! You can read two books a week! You've read way more than two books a week before." This is true; I can easily read two books a week if I already own those books. But buying two books a week and reading them and having time for, um, everything else??? That's a lot to ask of myself. 

It's been done though. I have a list of 100 books. In 2015, I'm going to read 100 books. To follow my progress (or, um, lack thereof), you can add me on Goodreads. 

My New Year's Resolutions

I do best with accountability & patterns. 

I have never once kept a New Year's Resolution. But then again, I've never really made them. Every year, I half-hearted set goals that I then toss aside when real life kicks in; in that lofty space between Christmas and January, life feels as full of possibilities as I feel of cookies. I indulge and I want to change, but then once the time-travel feel of the last week of December wears off, I forget about that and go back to what I always do. 

Not this year. I say that with conviction and, despite my doubts, I intend for 2015 to be the year where I toss out my bad habits and replace them with at least decent ones. Here are my resolutions:

• Complete the Beach Body Guide by Kayla Itsines. You can check Kayla out here or on Instagram. I've been hearing about Kayla for a few months, but didn't put a lot of stock in her guide. However, after following her on Instagram and seeing some of the insane before & after photos (posted by real people on real Instagram accounts!!), I have to admit I wanted it for myself. My goal, instead of having a goal to work out or lose weight or whatever, is to finish the first 12 weeks of Kayla's BBG.
   
• Eat healthier, smaller meals. I have an unfortunate habit of not eating throughout the day (when you sit in front of a computer for 8 hours straight, it's difficult to actually feel hungry) and then going crazy in the evenings. I eat healthier than I used to, but my portion sizes are still a little messed up. I want to focus on eating more protein, less empty carbs, and drinking more water! 
   
• Start, and finish, a project. I have half-finished scrapbooks all over the place. Half-started stories everywhere. Blog ideas scribbled down on post-it notes and hastily shoved into a drawer under my desk. It's time to finish a project, self, at least one. C'mon. 
   
• Read at least one book a week. And not just fiction! As I read the Romanov Sisters, I am reminded of how much I love history books. I read a lot and I want to continue that trend this year. 
   
• Make date nights a thing. Danny and I both have very short attention spans. Sometimes, we will dedicate a Friday night to watching a movie -- but I'll often end up reading during it or just going upstairs to write. I want to dedicate at least one day a week to doing an activity with Danny -- whether that is cooking dinner, baking something, going to a movie, or working out. 

Thanks for the Memories, 2014!

2014 wasn't the greatest year for me. Or, really, anyone it seems. 2014 seemed to suck for everyone. I take a little bit of comfort in knowing that on January 1, I won't be the only person realized to see 2014 in the review mirror. That being said, sometimes it's easy to let all the negative overwhelm the positive. So here's everything that happened to me in 2014: 

• I finished moving into my just completed home & started paying a mortgage.
• I started reading Geneen Roth books and changing the way I view food (even if it didn't make me change until, oh, 10 months later.) 
• I got really obsessed with nail stamping. 
• Remember that time Mucho Gusto featured Danny and I on their social media? And called us hipsters? 
• Oregon went through an intense cold snap -- and Danny & I survived 4 days without power without killing each other. 
• I bought Danny his first iPhone for Valentine's Day & he sent me flowers for the first time ever. 
• I left a job I hated. 
• I was unemployed for three months. Looking back, I can't remember what I did for all those months. Painted my nails, watched tons of Bones, worked out a lot, went to interviews... basically. 
• I started another job I hated... and quit after a week. Oops. 
• I started another job -- and then was offered my dream job. 
• For three months, I worked two jobs. It doesn't sound that exhausting, but it really, really was. 
• I joined WeightWatchers. Twice. 
• I made a lot of homemade lemonade during the summer. And iced tea. Two drinks I used to hate. 
• Danny and I celebrated our first anniversary. 
• I attended one of the best weddings ever -- Nate & Amy's!
• Then Nate & Amy moved in with us for a few months. (And you aren't family until I back into your car. Be warned.) 
• I fell in love with coffee. Another beverage I used to hate that I can't live without now...
• I also fell in love with leggings as pants. 
• I started scrapbooking again. 
• I made a lot of cupcakes. A lot of cookies. And a lot of other baked goods. 
• I got sick approximately 100 times. 
• Danny & I dressed as robbers for Halloween -- with Remus as a bag of money. 
• I officially quit lifestyle, fashion & beauty blogging. And stopped using Blogger. 
• I bought & built my first website. 
• I decorated for Christmas... the day after Halloween. (No shame.) 
• I started a Fall blog on Tumblr and have almost 8,000 followers, which is somehow deeply embarrassing.
• Danny & I survived our second trip to Disneyland together -- and I think this one was more fun than the first. 
• I bought my third pair of Minnie Mouse ears. Oops. 
• I took an embarrassing number of selfies. 
• Things I perfected this year: pictures of Remus; filling my brows; winged eyeliner; lipstick. 
• Danny & I went to see every Marvel movie (and any other superhero movie) this year. 
• I turned 26 and almost immediately realized I was out of touch with the "youth" (although I still find myself shocked to not be included in teenage demographics...) 
• I made lots of new friends & let some negative people slip out of my life.
• I spent everyday with my best friend -- and realized that, through thick and thin, he's the love of my life. 

The One Thing Lego Does Wrong: Legoland

Your eyes aren't deceiving you: the holiday decorations at Legoland overlap the sign. Really.

Shortly after my nephew, Mason, age 3, exited a simple helicopter ride at Legoland California, my sister sat down on the bench beside my mother and said, "These rides are kind of lame." 

Thank God she said it, I thought with a sigh. I didn't want to be the lame aunt that proclaimed Legoland a massive failure. I was glad I wasn't alone. 

My husband and I, in our 20s and with no kids, had walked through the entirety of Legoland in less than an hour. We'd then eaten an overpriced sandwich and stared at each other for twenty minutes, neither of us wanting to say what we felt: Legoland, despite our love of legos, was horrifyingly lame.

Barely an hour and a half into the park and my oldest nephew, Chase, age 5, asked if they could go to the aquarium soon. When a 5-year-old gets bored of Lego-themed rides, you know something is wrong. 

---

I say all of this with one important disclaimer: I love Disneyland. I've always loved Disneyland. Disneyland, to me, is a great park because it appeals to both adults and children; the focus isn't entirely on shopping; and while tickets are expensive, everything in the park is included with admission (except food and souvenirs). 

I knew something was up with Legoland when we immediately had to pay $15 for parking. Upon entry into the park, I was struck by how small and enclosed the entry area is; there is a gift shop and a food shop to the left and a bigger gift shop to the right. This would set the overwhelming trend of the park: gift shops outnumber rides by about 10 to 1. I'm not kidding. Every single ride Danny and I fit on (because we only fit on maybe 5 rides in the entire park) ended in a gift shop. 

Danny and I walked through Miniland, considered the "heart" of the park. Sure, ok: it's cute. A tiny replica of the world, basically, complete with Las Vegas, New Orleans, Paris, and more. However, the entire place felt dirty. Many of the buildings needed a good cleaning; there was still trash on the ground from the day before; and there was even trash in some of the Miniland places. Oh and there was nothing to do. Miniland is interactive only in bits: you can press a button and make pigs in a farm tilt their head; another button and chickens move jerkily on a green patch. In another area, a button starts a short water fountain. Cute, but... really? Then, the kicker: Danny and I found a lizard trapped in the Grand Central Station replica. We tried to find an exit to coax it out, but we couldn't locate one. I felt so bad for it. 

I hope someone helped this poor lizard. 

One characteristic of Disney is that you are 1. never more than 10 steps from a trashcan and 2. never more than 10 steps from a Disney employee. The same is not true of Legoland. Aside from the ride operators, there are hardly any employees in the park to answer questions or help with directions. 

Another issue with Legoland is some of the rides and games cost extra. The only truly interactive feature in Miniland is a feature where you can drive a Lego boat through a marina -- but it costs $5 for 5 minutes. Throughout the park, you can play carnival games to win prizes -- but they cost $10. Even the pictures they take on rides are displayed on TVs across a counter, so unlike at Disneyland where you can just take a photo of your picture, you have to buy it to see it!

Danny, my mom, and I left after barely two hours. We agreed that it was a waste of money. The entire park felt like a county fair with a few vaguely Lego-related decorations added. Most of the rides had nothing to do with Lego. For about $79 a ticket, that's pretty ridiculous. 

8 Gifts I Got for Christmas (& the One I Still Want)

1. The Romanov Sisters, by Helen Rappaport. A few years ago, I was participating in that hilarious (and weird) past-time of clicking "Random Article" on Wikipedia until I found something interesting. I was still in college at the time and I was painfully bored (and probably listening to Bones on Netflix at the same time). I stumbled onto an article about a little-known Romanov relative and, from there, started reading about Anna Anderson, the most famous claimant to being an escaped Anastasia Romanov. Cue a year-long, secret fascination with the Romanov family, one that I kept close, but never allowed myself to indulge. I didn't believe any Romanovs survived the execution -- but I kinda wanted to. When I saw the Romanov Sisters on Amazon, I immediately want to read it; Danny got it for me for Christmas and I've read over half in two days.

2. A rainbow keyboard cover. Three years ago, my mom ordered me a neon pink keyboard cover for my Mac -- I used it for a long time, but it quickly became stretched out and bubbling. Probably because it was about $1. Danny ordered me this high quality, rainbow one and I love it so much. So much. 

3. Naked On the Run by Urban Decay. I've been a fan of the Naked palettes for a long time -- they aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I loved the original. I was very meh on Naked 2, but loved Naked 3 (even though I haven't bought it yet -- I love the rose gold colors though). When Naked on the Run came out, I knew it was right for me: the same price as an eyeshadow palette, but including a mascara, liner, and lip gloss, as well as two blushes. A girl can never have enough blushes. I love this palette. 

4. New leggings that are not black. I have an embarrassing habit of wearing black leggings everyday that I can get away with it. Which is almost everyday, actually. When Danny offered to buy me two new pairs of leggings (they were buy one get one $10 at American Eagle/Aerie), I couldn't say no -- but I didn't want to fall into my same old black leggings rut. I got a high-waisted light gray pair and a dark gray pair with silver cuffs. They are basically all I wore in Disneyland. 

5. An iPhone speaker that looks like a bean. It's less a speaker and more an amplifier; it works by cramming your iPhone into a hole in the top and hitting play. The little thing then amplifies the sound. It works amazingly well. It's neon pink and, like I said, shaped like a bean. I love it because it doesn't require batteries. I mean, I've been using a bowl to play my iPhone in the shower for a few months. 

6. New Minnie Mouse Ears. I arrived in Disneyland last week and suddenly realized I'd forgotten to pack my Minnie Mouse ears -- I have a classic black-and-red glittery pair that I bought during my honeymoon. Danny promised me a new pair, so I settled on what I call "disco ball Minnie" ears. I'm quickly becoming a crazy cat lady, except instead of cats, I collect Minnie Mouse ears. 

7. Shot Glasses. A few weeks ago, I said (woefully) to Danny that we owned no shot glasses. Lo and behold, Danny's mom sent us shot glasses for Christmas. Perfect. 

8. More Bath & Body Works stuff than you can shake a stick at. Every six month, Danny's mom sends me a bunch of Bath & Body Works stuff -- it's something I look forward to. I usually get a few candles, the free May or December bag, and some much needed Wallflower plug-ins. This year, Danny's mom didn't get online in time to get the free bag, but she still sent me a bunch of candles, a bunch of Christmas-scented lotion, soap, and body spray, and a super helpful little bag of body spray, body wash, and lotion that I used in Disneyland. 

So what's the one thing I'm holding out for?

You know how sometimes, you ask for something for Christmas or your birthday and every holiday in between but no one seems to really get how much you want that thing? For me, that's fair isle sweaters. I'm always sending people fair isle sweaters that I totally love and really want -- and you know what happens? They forget about them. Another year has passed with no fair isle sweater under the tree. Maybe next year my fair isle collection will grow.

Why We Need to Talk about Zoella's Ghostwriter

Hey Zoella, here's the cold, hard truth. 

Zoe Sugg is a "YouTuber" (as I typed this, I literally had to close my eyes and take ten deep breaths, all while reminding myself of Myspace and Livejournal celebrities when I was a teenager). Most people know her as "Zoella", a name that is somehow more unwieldy than her given name.

For months, she's been talking on her channel about her first book. You see, it was a dream of her's to have a book published. She talked about how hard she was working, about writing, about creating this book with her own two hands. She's a vlogger, guys; her job consists of making perhaps one 10-minute video per day. And for that she makes more than I do in a year. Ha! Wow! That's so cool! (Silent seething.) 

Except, after her book was released and started to sell lots and lots of copies, it was revealed that, um, Zoella didn't write it. Ok, yeah, everyone says she "thought up the characters and ideas," but they said that about Kendall and Kylie Jenner's book, too. I'm sure Zoella (and Kendal & Kylie) sat in a meeting about the book and "thought up characters" -- but I don't think for a second she had anymore input than that. 

The sad part is that in the video announcing her novel, Zoella talked about how excited she was and expressed a love of writing. If she loved writing so much, why was the book ghostwritten? Her publisher has said explicitly that it was not written by Zoella -- but even a word. In fact, the ghostwriter has actually stepped forward to talk about the lack of transparency when it comes to celebrity ghostwriters.

You might wonder: Michelle, what's the big deal? She's a celebrity, a "YouTuber." Surely no one expected her to write a novel? 

Sure, yeah. However, like I said, Zoella has said she "wrote" the novel several times and has expressed a love of writing. As someone who is famous on YouTube for being, er, famous on YouTube (can you tell I do not understand this YouTuber fame trend?), her brand is based entirely on authenticity. She's famous for being her, not for having any kind of specific talent. That sounds like a total burn, but I don't mean it like that. Her fame is based on the fact that she's just a normal person filming videos (and making obscene amounts of money for it...). 

This article does a great job in pointing out that yes, Zoella, there are major issues with using a ghostwriter, specifically for your book. It might be standard practice in publishing, but with a new medium like YouTube, the results are not the same for others. YouTubers base their fame on authenticity and using a ghostwriter is the opposite of that. It undermines the brand that Zoella has established. 

That being said, I don't really think any of this is Zoella's fault. Do I think Zoella was naive about how the publishing industry worked? Yes. I believe she was probably told that ghostwriting was the standard for the industry and that if she wanted the book to get finished and be successful, it was the way to go. If she'd known more, she would have put her foot down and demanded to write the book herself -- but she didn't. We know that. She let a ghostwriter do it.

So yes, Zoella is naive, but being ignorant isn't a crime. 

Now, if only she would stop tweeting about quitting the internet and people "twisting her words" and actually show that she's learned from this experience -- she might actually build on that brand that's been hurt by this whole ghostwriting debacle. Because really, the people she lied to were the fans who bought her book in the thousands. People bought that book thinking Zoella had written it because she'd told them she had -- and to find out she hadn't? That's a major break in trust. 

The real issue here is the greater implication this has for publishing as a whole. People are becoming more aware of ghostwriting -- and more aware of issues facing the publishing world. Remember James Fry's A Million Little Pieces? After his book was revealed to be, uh, wildly elaborated, a slew of other autobiographies were revealed to be largely works of fiction. Which was kind of embarrassing for a lot of people, but it had been happening for a long time. 

Does Zoella's use of a ghostwriter -- and the public's reaction to it -- mean that more books will be shunned because of their use of ghostwriters? It is entirely possible and personally, I think it will be a good thing. 

Why Exclamation Points are Sexy

An exclamation point says, "Yeah, you can slam dunk that. Really!"

Listen, I've heard the arguments against exclamation points.

Exclamation can set off spam filters worse than the word "freebie."

You have to ask yourself three questions when wanting to use an exclamation point.

There are at least 6 guidelines for using them, but probably more.

Exclamation points are literally ruining your relationship with this guy.

Using an exclamation in a work email is fraught with uncertainty.

You have an exclamation point addiction and we are concerned. 

Your choice of punctuation says a lot about your personality and frankly, we are all judging you for it. Are you a dash person? An Oxford comma lover? Or are you one of those sick parentheses people? 

Again, you should worry about sending that exclamation point in a work email.

It's all useless though, because exclamation points are going to ruin us all and it's already happening. We should therefore accept our fate as a dystopian society ruined by exclamation points. 

In short: People have a lot of feelings about exclamation points. 

Mainly, people seem to really hate them. 

Well, guess what? I have feelings too and they are about how much I love exclamation points. 

I do! I love them! Have you noticed? Besides the dash, exclamation points are my favorite! They indicate to you that I am a happy person! And excited! And maybe shocked! 

A professional grammarian, which I didn't know was a thing but it totally is, has said that exclamation points are rapidly becoming "mandatory" so you aren't misconstrued on the internet -- but also points out, in the same breath, that exclamation points are "juvenile." 

My journalism professor in college hated exclamation points, even when used ironically. 

Exclamation points are potentially one of the most questioned pieces of punctuation, except for perhaps Oxford commas, but the beliefs about them tend to be incredibly personal rather than grammar-based. Some people just hate exclamation points. Some people also hate dogs for no reason and I also do not trust those people. 

True, some people will argue their anti-exclamation point attitude is based on grammar. The exclamation point, grammar rules state, is to be used only in certain situations, such as expressing surprise. Mainly, exclamation points are something that is heard and so, in writing, they can look like too much. They are basically the punctuation embodiment of Nicki Minaj. 

But that shouldn't stop us from using them. 

As our world increasingly turns to the written word -- think about it, how much do people write on a daily basis now through email, text message, Facebook, Twitter? -- we rely more and more on punctuation to determine tone. Here's an example: 

• But with our new technology, you can do anything.
• But with our new technology, you can do anything! 

I don't know about you, but I don't trust anything being sold to me by that first sentence. They sound bored. Now that second sentence, I want whatever that is selling. They sound fun! 

On a more serious note, work emails can be very, very easily misinterpreted. Your boss sounds angry because they are writing short sentences and using periods. It might not be what they intended, but that's how it looks. You panic. Did I forget to send them something? Oh god, oh no.

You get a same email with an exclamation point at the end and the tone changes. It might sound more urgent, but in some cases, it might clear up what they're saying; they might be busy or excited about something.

Exclamation points express shock, surprise, urgency, and jokes. Exclamation points give you some kind of ability to tell what your boss, or your mom, or your best friend, really means in their email -- rather than just blindly assuming they are being 100% serious. 

As that professional grammarian said, punctuation is becoming the way we interpret what people write on the internet. Plain text will never be able to convey sarcasm to most people (sarcasm is very easy to assume in most cases, but some people still have a difficult time with this -- I mean, look how many people think the Onion posts real articles), nor will it ever get your tone correct. Only through punctuation can we do that.

Exclamation points are an important part of writing. All the hate is unnecessary -- it's like disliking cheerleaders for their pep. Yeah, it can be annoying, but just imagine cheerleaders lazily shouting on the sidelines. That's a world without exclamation points. Personally, I want a world with them.