When It Comes to Strengths, I'm Most Interested in My Weaknesses

I recently took a strengths test. It was recommended to me by my boss -- and, in fact, all of my marketing coworkers took the test as well. We had a meeting to discuss our strengths, and weaknesses, and what they mean for the department. 

Here's how the test worked: when taking the test, I was asked to rank statements on a Likert Scale (0-9, disagree to agree). The statements included phrases like "I enjoy meeting new people," "I enjoy starting ice breaker conversations," and "I like to find solutions for problems." At the end of the test, it ranks 34 characteristics on a scale with a score (out of 100). 

My top ten (including my score) were: 

• Structurer (100) 
• Information Excavator (100) 
• Thinker (100) 
• Fixer (98) 
• Solutions Finder (96) 
• Historian (93) 
• Believing (91) 
• Student (91) 
• Prudent (89) 
• Visionary (89) 

Some of these were really surprising to me. I was not surprised that Structurer was one of my top strengths -- I follow patterns and regiment my life to an almost insane degree. I desire structure and routine. I like doing the same things everyday, eating the same things, watching the same TV shows. I like repetition. Information Excavator and Thinker didn't surprise me either; both traits recall a curiosity and a love of research, which is something I definitely love and find myself very good at. 

I was surprised by Fixer and Solutions Finder in my top 5. I do not often think of myself as someone with very good problem solving skills, but I do spend a lot of time researching how to fix my problems, fix problems I experience in my work, or improve anything I'm working on. In some ways, it make sense. 

However, when it came down to it, the traits I ended up paying the most attention to are those I scored the least in. My lowest scoring trains were Charismatic (40), Flexibility (40), Motivator (38), Confidence (38), and Foreman/Commanding (36). Basically, I don't like meeting new people, I am not flexible, I am not upbeat, I lack confidence in my talent and abilities, and I cannot lead people. 

Wow, that says a lot doesn't it! 

All of those traits are important for some jobs and in general, are skills that are good to have. There are things I know are not my strengths. But looking at these traits, I realize something: I may be a good problem solver and researcher, but my lack of confidence, and inflexibility, make it difficult for me to implement and lead people towards my ideas. 

That's kind of a bummer, of course, when I really think about it: I have many positive traits, but if confidence ranks as one of my greatest weaknesses, it seems to invalidate my abilities otherwise. 

It's possible to learn a lot about yourself by identifying your strengths. You can determine what kind of leader you are and how to properly focus your energy. However, I learned the most by evaluating my weaknesses and deciding how to make them strengths instead. 

With a test like this, it's very easy to get bogged down by what it says about you: oh, I'm not very confident. Aren't I the worst? It's difficult to fight that impulse, to let the test tell you that that is inherently how you are. However, strengths and weaknesses are flexible and they have the ability to change. You shouldn't feel constricted by learning your weaknesses -- you should feel empowered to change. 

If you'd like to take this test, you can here.  

I Love: Typography & Notebooks

I'm Over It notebook, $9.95

I love Daily Dishonesty. It's easily one of my favorite typography blogs. I love good typography -- and good, fun typography combined with pithy sayings is an irresistible combination. 

That's why I'm so excited that Daily Dishonesty joined forces with Abrams Noterie to create a stationary line. Right now, the line features notebooks, a notepad that doubles as a mousepad (adorable), and a pad of paper placemats. They are surprisingly affordable and totally rad.

Three Notebook set, $12.95

I'm especially fond of the set of three notebooks -- I really just want the little notebook that says I'll put on pants today, because, isn't that all of us sometimes? I use Bullet Journaling at work to manage meetings, tasks, and notes, so I go through a lot of notebook pages in a month. Having a collection of notebooks isn't a bad idea, that's for sure. 

Very rarely do I get legitimately excited about a line of paper products (ok, that's kind of a lie -- I love paper products), but this is definitely a line I will be purchasing from ASAP. 

What I Talk About When I Talk About the Kayla Guides

The first draft I wrote of this blog post, I let sit as a such (a draft) for three whole days. When I came back to it, I realized that the entire time I danced around my true opinion about the Kayla Itsines Beach Body Guides. I was also really negative, which made it harder to express my opinion. So I'm going to start from the beginning and that beginning includes a major, major point that I need to communicate. 

A few months ago, Kayla posted something akin to "if you want a beach body, you can never drink alcohol." Which, ok, whatever. I'm not a huge drinker. I'm really not. But that kind of statement rubs me in such a wrong way that I can barely explain it. The extreme restriction of your food, even if you end up with a "healthy" body like Kayla's, is not healthy. This leads me to a secondary point: Kayla's entire bit is about having a body that looks a very particular way. If you want a body that looks just like Kayla's, then these are the workouts for you. If you want your body but better, then maybe hold off. 

Saying you will never eat this or never eat that because it's "bad" for you is incredibly disordered, but is masked by the guise of being "healthy." There are many, many fitness "gurus" with extremely severe eating disorders -- one I used to follow stir fried her vegetables plain in WATER and said it was "tasty and flavorful" with no sauce. Excuse me, but that's boiling a bunch of veggies and calling it a stir fry; not only does it sound frankly gross, it's extremely disordered. It's like the watermelon Greek yogurt "cake" or apples sprinkled with cinnamon and called a "pie." All I'm saying is, thinspo has morphed into fitspo and there are a lot of girls with bad, bad eating disorders hiding it behind "Paleo" diets and weight lifting. Being obsessed with restricting your food and your body is not healthy, no matter how you express it, and denying yourself things you want, from stir fry and cake to a glass of wine, is not only life sucking, but pretty bad for you emotionally. It is possible to live a well-rounded like where you enjoy alcohol and cake as well as kale and chia seeds.  

The fixation on one type of healthy body is not only ridiculous, but damaging, and undermines Kayla's entire message of being healthy. I definitely fall prey to the "bikini body" idea -- I mean, I'd kill for a body like Kayla's -- but the fact is, I'm about 5 inches shorter than her with a completely different body type. It's just not going to happen. There is a way to be healthy, fit, and happy without looking just like Kayla or super thin. The only "fit, healthy" bodies we see are bodies that are thin, and that is wrong. You can be in shape and not that shape at the same time, but you wouldn't know that browsing through Kayla's instagram feed. All the girls end up looking the same (and just like Kayla) and to me, there is something inherently sad about that. 

Beyond those issues, I have issues with the guides themselves as well. Mainly, they cost about $60 a piece (there are two guides, so $120 total) and are about 100 pages long. But way, the workouts only consist of about 15 pages in each guide. So, the bulk of the guide is not workouts: it's Kayla's writing, which hovers somewhere around "big sister telling you how to live your life" and "omg what". For a $60 guide, that kind of grinds my gears. I like to get my money's worth and personally, a 100-page digital file that contains only about 15-20 pages of workouts is kind of a bust. If it was a physical book, it'd be different -- but c'mon, that's just a rip off! 

The guide suggests that alongside the circuits you do 3-4 sessions of HIIT workouts (high-intensity intervals, basically) and then 2-3 sessions of light cardio (like walking). That's a lot of working out. I work out a lot, but I simply do not have time to dedicate nearly 10 hours a week to it. I just don't. I could use that 10 hours to work, write, hang out with Danny, cook delicious dinners, grocery shop, play with my dog, or whatever. 

So what are the workouts themselves like? Most of the workouts are intense and tiring; I find myself sweating, red-faced and exhausted at the end. That being said, Kayla workouts have a reputation as being intensely hard and yes, some moves are challenging (I personally HATE sit ups with a twist and commandos, because I think those moves could easily be replaced by simpler exercises with the same result), but the workouts themselves are not exactly I'm-gonna-die hard. 

It's a difficult concept to express but: most workouts are hard. These workouts are also hard. But I would not rate them the hardest workouts I have ever done. (I think that title will always be held by conditioning weeks in Track when I was in high school.) 

I can see why they get results -- it's nice to follow a simple plan. However, are these workouts worth the $60 Kayla charges? Absolutely not. You could put together these plans on an app like PumpUp or find similar workouts on Pinterest. 

I also want to talk about Kayla's "H-E-L-P" guide, which is about healthy eating and lifestyle planning. It includes a week's sample meal plan and let me tell you, that meal plan is sad. Here are my issues with it: 

• It is not vegetarian. There isn't a vegetarian option. I hope you like eating meat two times a day (and therefore, have the money to do that). 
• It is dry. 

The suggested meal plans are painfully lame. One lunch is literally: flax seed wrap, two cups of lettuce, 1/2 can of tuna. THAT'S IT. I think I would just find the nearest bridge and jump off of it if that's what I decided I needed to eat for lunch everyday to have my ~ideal body~. Way to suck all the joy out of life.  

There are totally ways to eat healthy food that is also fun and flavorful. You don't have to eat plain, dry lettuce with plain, dry tuna on a flax seed wrap, I promise. 

I'm not saying that Kayla sounds like a total bummer to hang out with. Except that I totally am. She advises girls to order "cereal or muesli" when eating out "or just plain fruit." Honestly, get out. That's ridiculous. Have some fun, child, and some restricting your eating so much! Living life miserable and eating cereal while your friends enjoy pizza or pasta or whatever is absolutely not worth it. 

I'm not trying to say that healthy food can't be fun. There are lots of healthy foods that are delicious and fun. But Kayla's guide seems to suck all the fun out of food. She even refuses to call "treat days" treat days. She says you should get one treat meal and that's it, not a day to just enjoy yourself and not stress about how you're going to eat as much dry protein as possible.

Healthy food can be delicious and fun and you don't have to obsess about it like a total weirdo. But that's just me and I guess I don't have Kayla's "beach body" so maybe I'm totally wrong and my life will change when I start eating everything dry and protein-filled. But I also suspect I'd be deeply miserable if I did that too -- and sometimes, you have to make a choice. 

The Verdict

I have a lot of issues with self-styled "fitness gurus", obviously. The fixation on healthy bodies all looking the same way (that is, like Kayla's body) is extremely unhealthy. As well, while I know I need to make choices to eat better, restricting until I'm miserable and forcing myself to never eat certain foods again (like ice cream or full fat cheese) is a concept I don't really want to be involved with. Kayla doesn't seem to have mastered the concept that food can be healthy and delicious, nor does she seem to embrace the idea that there are more examples of healthy bodies than just generally "thin."

Do I like the Kayla guides? Yes, I enjoy them as a workout to supplement my usual cardio and running. Do I think they are the greatest workout ever? Absolutely not. Do I think they are worth the money? No, definitely not. Do I think Kayla needs to think long and hard about the advice she gives to people, especially young girls? Uh-huh, you bet I do.  

the 5 Best Free Stock Photo Websites

Good stock photos are hard to find. A recent Clients from Hell post reminded me, suddenly, of how many times I've struggled to find stock photos that fit the bill and didn't veer too far into cheesiness. Sometimes it seems like clients expect a magical website with every photo ever taken, for free, that includes every element they need. Strangely, that's not how the real world works. 

I'm a big fan of using "pretty, emotion-inducing" photos for posts. I'm not big on a lot of text or of super obvious pictures that I haven't taken myself. I've really gotten into finding the best stock photos recently and I thought I'd share some of my favorite sites. 

1. Creative Market

Creative Market is a great place to find good stock photos, as well as other creative materials (including fonts and vector images), for sale. They offer weekly free deals, which usually include a stock photography package. The photo above is from the currently available Hipsta package. 

2. Death to Stock Photo

Death to Stock Photo is an incredibly popular site that offers free, monthly stock photo packages. You can also sign up for pro, which offers you even more photos and benefits. They have sent me easily some of my favorite stock photos; they are all beautiful, well-lit, and evocative. 

3. Life of Pix

Need nature photography? Life of Pix is one of the best sites for great nature and landscape photography, if you're looking for something basic and simple. Their website is simple and beautiful. 

4. Picjumbo

My favorite thing about Picjumbo is that many of their photos include people and technology -- two elements that I often look for in stock photogs. They have a variety of photographers as well, which means they offer a variety of styles and feels. Their site is easily divided into categories -- technology, people, bokeh (if you're looking for something abstract and colorful). As a warning, their website has a lot of ads, but don't let that stop you from appreciating the photography. 

5. Magdeleine

Magdeleine has some absolutely stunning still life and abstract photos, as well as a vast collection of nature and landscape photography. Their photos are definitely more atmospheric and moody, perfect for a deep or reflective post. I love their still life photos for DIY posts or newsletters. 

I Love: Matte Lipstick

Shades pictured: Wet n' Wild Velvet Lip Color in Plumgenue; NYX Simply Vamp in Covet; NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Stockholm and Monte Carlo; NYX Simply Red in Leading Lady; NYX Matte Lipstick in Eden and Merlot.

I love lipstick. But it took me a long time to get it and truly fall in love. For a long time, lipstick was an aspirational beauty item -- the way some people aspire to better grows, longer lashes, or winged eyeliner without actually making an effort to learn the techniques to make it happen. I don't know when it started, but one day I decided to just, you know, buy a lipstick and go for it. That was three years ago, I think, and I've never looked back. My lipstick collection has grown to an embarrassing size and I can't really say I'm sorry about it. 

Most of my lipsticks have been of the standard, cream variety: they require primer and a lot of upkeep throughout the day. I have a few tried-and-true favorites, like Urban Decay's Revolution lipstick (in Naked 2, a perfect YLBB shade) and Covergirl's Coral Crush. A few weeks ago, I decided to try a matte lipstick and... it was amazing. Perfect, really.

The first matte color I bought was NYC Simply Vamp in Covet; technically, it's not advertised as matte, but it is a matte-metallic shade in dark plum. I had loved plum shades from afar and decided an NYX variety would be easiest to learn the rights and wrongs. Well, Covet rapidly turned into one of my favorite lipsticks; it's an instant, easy way to add a little goth-y toughness to a look. And the thing I loved most about it was that it was matte and it stuck around all day long... and? It didn't rub off. It was the perfect thing.

After that, my collection rapidly expanded, mostly in the NYX brand line -- they make some of the best colors for matte lipsticks out there that are both affordable and opaque. I got NYX Simply Red in Leading Lady next, a beautiful, matte, long-lasting pink-red. 

After this, I purchased my favorite matte shades so far: NYX Matte Lipstick in Eden (a bright red shade) and NYX Soft Matte Lip Stick in Stockholm (a nude-brown shade, similar to Rimmel's popular Kasbah). Before I got any more matte shades, I wanted to make sure I really liked them. Stockholm has rapidly become my go-to lip shade on lazy days. Eden is perfect for dressing up or days where I want to look more polished. 

Matte lipsticks have a reputation for being drying, which they definitely can be. The secret is to start with moisturized, brushed lips (use an exfoliating brush or a baby toothbrush to clean them) and to skip primer. However, I've found myself not having very many issues with matte lipsticks; I mostly just love that they last all day with minimal upkeep. In general, I have never liked lips that look super goopy and wet. 

I recently ordered NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Monte Carlo (a dark red, similar to Taylor Swift's go-to shade) and NYX Matte Lipstick in Merlot (a rich, dark berry shade); I love both of these as much as I love Stockholm and Eden. I especially like Monte Carlo, as I've been looking for a red that is neither too pink or too orange (I have a habit of picking pink-reds and being disappointed).

The same day I received these in the mail, I purchased a Wet n' Wild Velvet Matte lipstick in Plumgenue (from the Fergie line) for only $5; for the price, I just wanted to see how well they worked. The answer: it is much more sheer than I like, but I love the color of Plumgenue. It definitely feels velvety and smooth, but definitely is not as long-lasting as my other shades. 

Matte lipsticks represent the perfect stepping stone for those who want to use lipstick, but find the upkeep and fussiness annoying. If you find the right formula and shade, they will last all day with minimal smudging and smearing. 

Old habits die hard; I said I wouldn't write about beauty products anymore and yet, here I am, writing about matte lipstick. But sometimes, you just gotta shade what you love. 

The Best Book I Read in January: "Life After Life," by Kate Atkinson

When I first wrote my list of 100 books I wanted to read in 2015, I included a few books I'd been wanting to read for months. One of those books was Kate Atkinson's Life After Life. 

I'd repeatedly carried Life After Life around book stores, put it in my Amazon shopping cart, and read reviews. I'd thought about reading it a lot, but something always stopped me. To be completely honest, I think I was put off by the cover: there is something overly sappy about it, as if it will be a bad romance novel. I'm not a huge fan of novels that are epic, sweeping romance dramas. I just find them a bit boring. I want more from my novels. 

This past weekend, I found myself looking at a few blissful hours of alone time. Danny was sick and had homework to do; I'd cleaned the house, done the laundry, washed the bedding. With so many hours, I didn't want to just sit and watch TV. I spent a way-too-stressful hour looking at my book list and reading reviews on Amazon. 

Twice, I settled on Life After Life and changed my mind. Finally, I bit the bullet and bought the book, sending it to my Kindle. 

I had read reviews, sure, but I wasn't 100% aware of the big plot point until I started reading the book.  I'll get to that in a second though. 

I read Life After Life in two days. That in itself is not an endorsement: I can read most books in two days, one day if I really dedicate myself to it. However, I found myself talking about Life After Life constantly. The first thing I said to Danny about the book was: "I wish I'd thought of it." What did I say after I read Tony Doerr's All the Light We Cannot See? "I wish I'd thought of that title, it is killer. Also I wish I could steal his ability to use similes." 

My ringing endorsement is usually the sentiment of "I wish I'd written this; I'm mad that I didn't." 

Life After Life is built around the premise that Ursula Todd is stuck in a time loop: every time she dies, she starts over again. Sometimes, things are different from the very start; in most versions, her mother gives birth alone, her father searching France for her runaway aunt, Izzie. In one version, her father makes it back in time and they raise Izzie's son, Roland, as their own. In a few versions, Ursula dies at birth, or is born dead, or is suffocated by a cat named Queenie (an old wives' tale come to life). Either way, Ursula gets a lot of chances, but the reader is unsure if Ursula is ever 100% aware of her past experiences. 

There are a few events that suggest Ursula is able to tell change what happened. In one version of her life, Ursula drowns as a child while on vacation; the next go around, she becomes terrified to go near the water and her sister pulls her along anyway. She is saved by a man sitting on the beach painting. 

In another version, Ursula's horrible brother, Maurice, throughs her doll out the window; she dies falling off the roof trying to retrieve it. The next time around, her sister, Pamela, uses a stick to pull the doll inside. 

In these small instances, Ursula was filled with dread when approaching the situation: the doll on the ledge, the water's edge. She doesn't really remember, but she knows something is about to happen. As she gets older, if she does get older in that life, she identifies feelings of extreme deja vu, as if she's lived everything before (which, if you buy that she really is living life after life, she has). 

There are other instances where you wonder how aware Ursula is of her past lives. In one life, she is assaulted by one of her brother's friends, Howie; she gets pregnant, has an illegal abortion, and almost dies. The black sheep of the family, she ends up marrying an abusive man and is ultimately beaten to death. In her next life, she doesn't seem aware of Howie's future behavior, but at their first meeting, she promptly punches him in the face. 

In some versions of history, her next door neighbor, Nancy, is murdered while out looking for leaves for a scrapbook; Ursula usually takes another route home, or a detour, in order to intercept Nancy and save her. We don't know how much she knows she's doing this. She just... does it. However, in one version, Ursula is distracted by her crush and Nancy is murdered. Chance didn't work out in that version, I guess. 

The most interesting part of the story is this: Ursula never marries in any of her lives, except two. In one, she marries the man who ultimately beats her to death. In the other, she goes to Germany on a world tour and ends up staying in Germany, marrying a man, and having her daughter, Frieda. In other versions of her life, she never has children. But when she has Frieda, she ends up having to kill her daughter and herself and start over again; she never stays in Germany again, never meets her husband again. It is almost as if Ursula purposefully chooses to never have a child, because she knows in that version of history, her child always dies. 

It might sound boring to read the same life over and over again -- and there are definitely parts where it becomes a little too hint-hint, nudge-nudge -- but it is also incredibly engrossing. Ursula's panic and confusion over her moments of deja vu, her sense of knowing what will happen before it actually does, her grappling with reality is intense. Beyond that, the book paints the idea that sometimes the most important connections in life aren't romantic: Ursula's love stories are few and far between. Instead, the relationship between siblings is examined and poked: the things we do to save our siblings, to make them happy, to keep them from pain. 

In several versions of history, the Todd family maid, Bridget, attend Armistice Day celebrations in London and brings the Spanish Flu back to the Todd home, killing Ursula; in another version, Ursula manages to stay away from Bridget, only for her little brother, Edward, to get sick and die. Over and over again, Ursula struggles to find a way to not just save herself, but to save her siblings; and, it is interesting to note, she is never once concerned with saving Bridget's life. Her ultimate solution is to push Bridget down the stairs, breaking her arm, and, in later versions, to tell Bridget that she'd seen her boyfriend cheating on her. Both work to save the family. 

It makes me wonder what moments would stand out in my life if I were to live it over and over again. What things would I change? What would I do differently? The best kind of novel is one that makes you think deeply about your life and your choices -- and Life After Life does just that.

When (and Why) Did I Start Expecting Bad Customer Service?

“Hi, I recently purchased a China Glaze brand nail polish set at the Keizer, OR store. One of the minis in the set was dried out. I don’t live close enough to exchange the set, and was hoping I could have a new one sent to me. (I’d be willing to send the new set out immediately.) Below you’ll find a scanned copy of my receipt and a picture of the dried out polish (“My Way or the Highway”). Thanks!”

That's the email I sent to Ulta on Saturday evening. I had spent the afternoon with my mom, making a trip to Ulta to pick up new primer and a few treats. When I finally got around to playing with my new nail polishes, I immediately realized that one was beyond use -- it was goopy and dried. Hilariously, it was the color I'd actually bought the set for! I was disappointed and a bit panicked -- what should I do? 

Ulta has always struck me as a huge company that might have very, very poor customer service. I don't know what gave me that impression, but they struck me as a cold, impersonal company (versus a store like Sephora, that seems enthusiastic and passionate). I've had a lot of customer service dealings in the last few years and very few of them have been positive. Here's a brief overview of the big stuff: 

• When I ordered my wedding invitations from Paperless Post about three years ago, they sent me the entirely wrong envelopes (after I had paid extra for a specific type). I had to email them three times, and include photos, for them to resend the envelopes. 
• A year ago, American Eagle forgot to include three items I ordered and I discovered that their policy for such a mistake is to refund the customer the money, redo the order, charge the customer again, and then send out the items -- a process that can take anywhere between 24 and 72 hours, plus delivery time. Which might mean (as it did in my case) that the items they did not send to me and charged me twice for were sold out.
• About six months ago, Victoria's Secret sold me underwear with human feces in them. (Writing that sentence still sends chills through me and makes me feel like I need to dry heave.) The response of every customer service representative I spoke to was shocking in that... they were not shocked. At all. They ended up sending me a $50 gift card, but only about two months and one very well-publicized blog post about it. 

The one thing I've learned working in marketing is that customer service is a huge part of it. Lots of businesses hate websites like Yelp, TripAdvisor, Influenster, etc. because it gives consumers a chance to complain, tell stories, and vent. There are lots of articles making fun of the "critics" who write reviews on Yelp -- wondering why they don't have better things to do, why they need to ruin a businesses reputation for something so small. While review sites present a complicated issue for both business owners and marketers, to ignore them and disregard them entirely is ludicrous. If someone takes the time to review you on Yelp, it's obviously because they feel strongly about it and if they feel that strongly about it, they aren't just writing on Yelp. They're telling everyone they know. 

Success starts with good customer service. But sometimes, it seems like big companies (like American Eagle and Victoria's Secret) get away with really, really bad customer service. (I should take the opportunity to say that I have spoken with American Eagle's social media team extensively and at the time of my incident with them, they were very apologetic regarding the policy; they felt the policy was ridiculous and sympathized with me. It was a departmental issue, clearly.) 

Perhaps this is why I expected really, really bad customer service from Ulta -- and I genuinely did. When I emailed them, I expected to not receive a reply for several days; I expected to be told, no, I'd need to replace the item in store and that was it; I expected to not hear back from anybody at all, actually. 

I was wrong, surprisingly. 

On Sunday morning, I woke up to two emails from Ulta: one apologizing for purchasing a defective product and saying that, while they couldn't ship me a replacement, they had sent me a gift card; and one containing a $5 gift card. Nice, right? I emailed them a thank you, but also mentioned that a replacement polish was $7.50 -- not $5 -- so I'd have to pay $2.50 to replace a defective product. However, immediately after sending that email, I realized I was being ridiculous -- it was awesome for them to send me a gift card anyway! I picked out some nail polish thinner (for future goopy polishes), a replacement polish, and two lipsticks (why not?) and by the time, I'd checked out -- Ulta had replied again, sending me another $5 gift card! I printed it to save for a future Ulta shopping trip. 

I was surprised at how easy it was for them. It didn't take a hundred emails, a hundred tweets and DMs. It didn't require phone calls, arguments, or accusations. They were wrong; their store did a bad thing; they apologized; they did what they needed to do to make me happy. And guess what? I'm happy. It's so easy for customer service to be good -- and yet, it seems to go bad so often. 

It made me realize that I always brace myself to experience bad customer service; I defend myself against it, take a stance and wait for the bad customer service experience to wash over me. Perhaps that breeds back results, but if nothing else, this one instance has taught me that there is hope: hope for companies to learn to be better, to do what is right, to work with customers. And, if nothing else, it is excellent marketing.

4 Little Things that I Miss About Fashion Blogging

I started fashion blogging in 2009. 

I was a junior in college and posting (really bad) pictures of my outfits was a natural progression of my blog. I had started following some of my still-favorite bloggers. That summer, I discovered two of my absolute favorite bloggers of all time -- Charlotte and Sian. Both of these ladies made me really love fashion blogging; the sense of camaraderie and community made it incredibly appealing. Beyond that, I was at a time in my life where I needed a lot of reassurance and emotional boosting and fashion blogging fit that spot perfectly.

I kept posting outfits through my senior year of college. 2010-2011 were really the best years of my fashion blog. I felt incredibly good blogging about my outfits and it gave me a lot of self-confidence. I've really comes to terms with what happened to my fashion blog: my life changed and my blog needed to change, but I wanted what I had back. Fashion blogging stopped being what I needed to be happy, but without it, I really struggled without my confidence. I did have the constant reassurance I used to have and without it, I didn't know how to feel good about myself. That's bad. You shouldn't depend on a blog to make you feel good about yourself. Something had to give. 

I've been incredibly happy and positive since changing the direction of my blog -- and part of that meant leaving that entire world behind. I used to have an incredibly hard time imaging myself leaving my blog behind. After I did it though, I felt incredibly free; I felt like I could move away from the way I used to look and focus on loving myself in the body and life I have now. Both of my blogs are still available to anyone who wants to read them: Locked Out and Ellipsis. 

However, there are times when I really, really miss fashion blogging. Here's why. 

1. The sense of community.

Like I said, the sense of community in fashion blogging was something that made me really love it. Sometimes, I really miss the easy ability to find lots and lots of girls writing about the same thing as me! However, so much time has passed in the blogging community; in the past few years, blogging has become really monetized and no one really seems to fashion blog just for the fun of it anymore. Everything is about how to get more followers, how to get money, how to get sponsorships. I miss the fashion community between 2010 and 2012 -- it is something I still, still miss. 

2. The focus on photography. 

I loved taking my outfit photos! It was a chance for me to improve my photography skills, learn what worked and didn't work, and show off a cute outfit in the process. I really miss working on my photography and I miss having a diary of my daily outfits. 

3. Easy content. 

Honestly, what's easier than photographing an outfit and posting it? It was so easy! There are definitely weeks where I struggle with what to post, what to include what to write about. If I was still fashion blogging, there would be no question. Post an outfit -- boom! Easy! Done! 

4. The ego boost. 

Like I said, I got a lot of confidence from fashion blogging. I really miss that confidence boost sometimes! On bad days, an outfit post would give me what I needed to remember that I was talented, pretty, and worthy. Now, I have to find that within myself -- and while that is emotionally healthier, sometimes I just want the easy way!