On Overcoming Writer's Block

It happens all the time: you're ready to write, you have an idea in mind, and you have the time to dedicate to getting it on the page. But the longer you stare at your computer screen, the stronger the desire to check Twitter, to rewrite your notes, to get a snack. Each sentence feels like you're pulling out your own teeth. It becomes physically painful to write. You have writer's block. 

During NaNoWriMo, writer's block can be a buzzkill. The more you try to write, the worse it gets. The more you ignore it, the further behind you get in the challenge. It's a catch-22. 

I have found writer's block to be heavily tied to procrastination: it's less that I can't think of what to write and more that I want to avoid the actual process of doing it. I might have hit a plateau in the story or I might suddenly hate the plot I picked up, but I know I have things to write about... I'm just bored with it. Writer's block is a convenient way for me to avoid doing the real, difficult work of writing through a crappy situation. 

But in the midst of NaNoWriMo, how can you work through the pain and get your word count in? Here are a few ideas. 

1. Rewrite your outline. 

Did you write an outline for your NaNoWriMo novel? If you didn't, consider creating a rough one now. As I've written before, an outline is one of the best ways to ensure success during NaNoWriMo. 

If you do have an outline, congrats! You have a few options. You can jump ahead to a future chapter that gets you excited again and at least get a word count in for the day. Or you can focus on reworking your outline to change the story enough to get excited again. Only spend about a half an hour doing this or else you'll spend a day tweaking your outline and avoiding writing, which is no bueno. Once you've got your outline set, get back on the horse. 

2. Do some writing exercises. 

I'm a big fan of doing short writing exercises to get myself excited again. There are tons to choose from and a quick Google search can give you a ton of ideas. Here are my favorites: 

• Write a list of 10 things you'd find in your main character's trash can. 
• Free write for 5 minutes. 
• Write a list of your main character's favorite things. 

Any writing exercise should only take you about 5-10 minutes tops. Once you're done, think of how that information will help you write your story--and maybe you've written something you can incorporate into your word count for the day. 

3. Let yourself move on. 

Really hating your plot? Really not wanting to continue? Guess what? You don't have to! 

The great thing about NaNoWriMo is that you don't have to write the perfect novel. You have every right to start a new novel in the middle of this one or to change everything after two chapters. It's your novel and you can always fix it later. For now, you're just getting words onto the page. Don't want to continue with your main character or your setting? Don't. Start fresh. I promise, it will be ok (and it's what revision is for)! 

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Share your #NaNoWriMo tips with me on Twitter!

How Can I Keep Creativity Alive?

I was on my approximately 3rd day wearing the same sweatpants and tank top when I realized I hadn't written in my planner or journal in a week and a half. Now, to most people, this thought would enter their mind and then pass without much other thought. So I fell behind on my journal. That's ok, right? 

No, it's actually not ok. At least for me. 

I have a memory that is simultaneously awesome and awful. I can remember the most minute trivia, but ask me what I did yesterday and I'll probably blank. If I don't write down every detail of Forrest's day (how much he ate, when, if he had poopy diapers), I won't really remember it... but I can remember which onesies he wore and in what order. If I don't write down Forrest's big milestones at the end of the day, I won't remember. I'll remember that it happened--but when and why and the context will slowly fade into oblivion. And yet I can remember the names of every contestant on Flavor of Love from 8 years ago. Thanks, brain! 

Even at my busiest, I have always kept some kind of written record of my life: notes jotted down in my journal, a list of things I'm grateful for, a writing notebook with every book I'd read for three years, a checklist of my homework I'd completed. Some people leave behind art; I intend to leave behind a meticulous detailing of my life. 

In the past few weeks, I've been using a Happy Planner to jot down notes of my day. I also decorate each week, so I get two creative exercises in one. But ever since I went into the hospital for preeclampsia, I've fallen behind. I've filled in maybe four days in the past three weeks and that's just barely. I haven't written in my journal or gotten any work done on NaNoWriMo. 

Being creative is incredibly important to me. My journals and planners are one way I stay creative even when I don't have the time, or emotional capacity, to create anything else. 

So when I neglect my journaling for a week... and then a week and a half... and suddenly I have about four weeks to write about... it becomes daunting. I know I'll never be able to cover everything I wanted to in those weeks. I already don't remember the details. 

I've devised a little plan to help myself stay creative. Here it is: 

1. Make time for it. My number one problem, really, is that when I get Forrest to nap, I either 1) sleep or 2) mindlessly browse the Internet or my phone. While sleeping is a great idea, mindlessly scrolling through my phone is not so much. When Forrest naps, if I can go without a nap, I need to spend time working on things that keep my creative brain active. 
2. Do NaNoWriMo. I have gone back and forth in the last few weeks about competing in NaNoWriMo this year. I was 100% set on it until I had Forrest--and realized just how sleep deprived I would become. However, I think I've gotten back to be 100% for it. Why? Because I know, more than anything, that NaNoWriMo will keep me motivated to write at least a little bit everyday. It can't hurt, right? (And I'm awake at 3am everyday anyway.) 
3. Ask for help. Have I mentioned how terrible I am at asking other people to help me? I tend to get really intense about things and forget that other people are available to help me. If that means asking my mom to come over so I nap or catch up, or asking Danny to watch Forrest while I write, I need to remember to do it. 

How do you keep creativity alive when you're super busy?  

5 Things You Actually Need in Your Labor & Delivery Hospital Bag

There are a lot of lists out there about what to pack for the hospital when you're having a baby. Almost all of them include things that you may or may not end up using. Everyone has a different experience when having a baby, so it's important to take any and all lists with a grain of salt. Just as no pregnancy is exactly the same as another pregnancy, your experience in labor, delivery, and recovery could be miles away from anyone else's. 

I had a lot of, to be honest, useless crap packed in my pre-packed hospital bag: stuff I never touched, or tried to use and failed, or wanted to use but just couldn't. And then, there were the things I sent Danny scurrying to Target to grab or asked my mom to buy for me. 

1. A Hands-Free Pumping Bra

I saw these in Target before I had Forrest and I thought, "how silly!" It just seemed ridiculous. But 24 hours after Forrest was born and I was producing less than 1 mL of colostrum every two hours. Forrest was eating donor milk or formula as a result. My nurse told me I needed to pump, every two hours, and massage all the glands to get my milk to come in. She recommended a hands-free pumping bra--not so I could surf the 'net like the woman on the box (although, admittedly, I'm writing this post while pumping thanks to this very bra), but so I could use both my hands to self express.

You never know if your milk is going to come in immediately or dilly-dally for several days, leaving your baby in a lurch where you have to supplement and frantically pump to up your supply. So pack your pump (or double check that your hospital has pumps available to use!) and pick up one of these bras. The one Danny got me from Target is available here--I like it because it's adjustable, which means you don't have to worry about sizing it correctly ahead of time (and it will still fit after your milk comes in), but there are cheaper options on Amazon as well. If you don't want to drop $30, you can buy a cheap sports bra and cut slits in the front; it's less discreet, but works just as well.  

2. Pads

No one told me a lochia. Ok, I'd read on message boards and packing lists about postpartum bleeding--I'm not entirely dumb. But no one ever mentioned the word lochia. Have you heard the word lochia? Well, lochia is the technical name for the 6-8 weeks of bleeding that you have after giving birth. I know. You can read more about it here, but basically it's not just from any lacerations or tearing you might have from childbirth. Even women who receive c-sections have lochia. The point I'm trying to make is: you're going to need pads. Lots of pads. Good ones. The word around the mom boards these days is that Always Infinity Flex Foam pads are the absolute best that money can buy--and from personal experience, they aren't wrong. Also, stock up because you will need way more than you think you will. And if you haven't worn a pad since you were, like, 12 years old, then I'm really, really sorry. 

3. Easy Access Tank Tops & Packaged Underwear

I'm against specialty clothing on principal. I refused--flat out refused--to buy nursing tops. I think they're a waste of money when you can easily augment or alter existing clothing to do the exact same thing. That being said: the absolute best tops for quick pumping or nursing are tank tops. You can pull them down or up easily and not have too much fabric bunching around your business. Plus, they're super comfy. I've said it before, but the absolute best camis are from Forever 21 and they're dirt cheap. Buy at least 10 of them. 

Speaking of things you haven't had to wear since you were about 12, invest in some cheap packaged underwear, about 2 sizes bigger than you usually wear. Pick at least two varieties in case you end up hating how one kind feels. As a heads up, you're going to love the little mesh underwear they give you post-delivery and you'll be very sad when they won't give you anymore. 

4. Non-Tech Entertainment

The morning I was surprise induced, I shoved my Kindle into my purse and trotted out the door. I wouldn't go back to my house for seven days and not once did I consider asking anyone to grab me an actual, physical book. The thing about having a baby is it makes you super tired--and then you don't really get to sleep because you have to, you know, take care of the baby. There were times where I needed something to do in the wee hours of the night, but if I looked at another screen for even a minute, my head probably would have burst--and all those lighted screens don't help you drift into a 40 minute power nap between feedings and pumping. So grab a book or a journal for your bag. Trust me. 

5. A Notebook 

No, you're not going to have time to wax poetic about your birth experience or anything in the days in the hospital. You might have time to jot down a quick journal entry or doodle or write a to-do list. But this notebook isn't for that. It's for writing down when you feed baby, what side you feed them on (if you're breastfeeding), how much they ate (if you're bottle feeding), how much you pumped, etc. This is information that nurses will come in and ask you about every 2-4 hours... and if you haven't slept in about 30 hours, you probably won't remember a single thing. You'll know you fed the baby. You'll know they had some kind of dirty diaper (wet? soiled? I don't know?), but you won't remember. You'll need to write it down... and you'll need to keep writing it down, post-hospital, because the pediatrician will ask you the exact same questions. Try remembering how much you fed your baby four days ago--I dare you. 

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A few things I absolutely did not need include a robe, extra pillows, and real shoes (until I left). Of course, remember to pack a good, moisturizing lotion. I'm not talking about something that smells amazing. I like Babyology Daily Moisturizing Baby Lotion for both Forrest and I. In the hospital, the air is so dry, you'll end up putting on lotion every other minute and slathering your face with lip balm every chance you get. 

What did you absolutely need in the hospital--and what did you wish you'd left at home? 

5 Halloween Recipes to Try This Year

I love Halloween. I look forward to it every year. I love the candy, I love the desserts, I love scary movies, and I love costumes (even though I rarely have an opportunity to dress up). This year, since Halloween falls on a Saturday, it means everyone has a little more time to get into the spirit and make some Halloween magic. Why should Christmas get all the fun recipes? 

1. Pumpkin Cheesecake Mummies

Not only do these look really yummy, they are very easy to make. Personally, I think they'd be fine with just some Halloween sprinkles if you're not up to, um, making mummy faces. 

2. Monster Cookies 

Ok, I'm obsessed with these cookies and will absolutely be making them (if Forrest lets me). Normally, monster cookies are just chocolate chip oatmeal cookies with a bunch of other stuff added. These ones have eyeball candies. Tell me that's not awesome. 

3. Caramel Apple Bites

Caramel apples are hard to make and somewhat intimidating--all that caramel! However, little bites means you won't have to commit to eating an entire apple covered in roughly a cup of caramel. Follow the troubleshooting tips on this recipe for best results. 

4. Cheesy Breadstick "Bones"

You have to have one non-sweet treat at Halloween and cheesy breadsticks are always a good choice. These ones use packaged dough for minimum effort, but you could also use homemade pizza dough. 

5. Harvest Hash Trail Mix 

Mm, trail mix--with Bugles, candy corn, and more. This would make a great treat bag for your most special trick-or-treaters. 

The New Normal

I've sat down to write a blog post at least seven times in the last week. I've gotten out my list of topics; I've sat with my planner open; I've started writing... and every single time, I get distracted (usually by Forrest). I've tried to write about postpartum bodies, about Forrest's first weeks, about fashion. About anything. When I'm sleep deprived and struggling to stay awake between feedings, diaper changes, and more, it's hard to focus on articulating thoughts correctly... even though I have a lot to say about my first few weeks as a mom. 

I have spent nearly everyday at home since Forrest and I were released from the hospital. Except for doctor's appointments, I don't really leave the house. Danny and I have gone out to dinner together, sans Forrest, once; we've taken him out to eat with Danny's family once. I went to the grocery store for the first time on my birthday. I have gone to my own doctor's appointment solo once. Every minute of my day is dedicated to Forrest and making sure he eats and stays clean. A typical span of two hours in my house looks like this: feed Forrest; put Forrest to sleep (can take 10 minutes or three hours); transfer Forrest to swing or rocker; pump for a minimum of 30 minutes; clean bottles and pumping supplies; do one part of one chore (put laundry in the washing machine; wipe down the counters; throw away the dead flowers in the vase on the kitchen counter); and repeat. It is, to be honest, exhausting... and then I get to spend all night doing it. Yay! 

In the wee morning hours of my birthday, I sat in my glider, rocking Forrest for about 45 minutes in the vain attempt to get him to sleep. It was 2:30am and, of course, the longer he refused to close his very sleepy eyes, the more I cried. I sang every lullaby I could think of until I sang "Happy Birthday to me" through tears. I wanted so badly for him to go to sleep, to have a good day with him, to go to sleep myself. Then, I looked down at his little face: he'd finally drifted to sleep, closing his dark blue eyes and opening his little mouth to snore. I loved him so intensely at that moment, more powerfully than I have ever loved anything in my life, that it made up for how tired I was, how sad I felt about my birthday.  

It is very easy to make life with a newborn sound all bad. To outsiders (those without kids or who don't want kids ever), it probably sounds like some version of hell. You squeeze a very small human out of the most narrow part of your body and then, immediately begin a year-long sprint of sleep deprivation. They can't lift their own head; they poop and pee all the time, sometimes on you; none of their clothes fit; they communicate through screaming and grunting at you. 

But the raw facts of life with a newborn ignore the really great parts. Yes, Forrest spent three hours scream-crying at me yesterday, but he then spent ten minutes on the floor with me, just looking at my face. Yes, I worry constantly about how much he's eating; I pump and measure and stress and chug water to make sure my body makes enough food, but when he falls asleep on my chest and I finally have time to take a nap, I sometimes choose holding him close to me for just another hour... just because. 

I try not to miss the things I used to do. I'd love to have time for scrapbooking, for journaling, for writing blog posts and hanging out on Twitter; I'd love to sleep for 8 hours straight, make a lazy breakfast, and drink coffee while I watch Food Network. I try not to beat myself up about my messy bedroom, about the breastmilk stains on all my shirts. Because while I am missing all those things (and it would be a lie to say that sometimes I just wish I could have one more day to myself to do all of them), I also love everything new in my life... I just have to get used to it and I'm not quite there yet. 

Can You Create Monetized Content Without Feeling Like a Sellout?

As most bloggers know, it's difficult to write sponsored posts without being accused of selling out or resorting to inauthentic content. If you read Get Off My Internets at all, you know this is one of the most common complaints about bloggers: they start great, they get popular, they start doing sponsored posts, and it's downhill from there. It feels like attempting to monetize--in whatever ways bloggers can--feels authentic, no matter what, to readers... especially if your audience consists of those who maybe don't understand what monetization means. 

Is it possible to monetize without feeling like a sell out? 

Including ads on your blog is one thing--but turning posts into ads themselves can feel, well, less than amazing. It's important to note here that some bloggers still struggle with identifying sponsored posts. I've seen a lot lately featuring c/o products or product placement that is not identified as such, as well as affiliate links that aren't properly identified. It's important to remember that everyone has to identify both sponsored posts and affiliate links. Not properly identifying is, actually, being kind of a sell out and is a marker of shadiness, so let's avoid it in the blogging world. 

How can you accept sponsored posts, which are lucrative and flattering opportunities, without feeling like your compromising your blog's content? 

Accept Sponsored Posts That Mean Something

Writing about a business you support, a product you love, or a charity you already support is easy. When it comes to sponsored posts, you should use the same criteria: is this a product, business, or cause that I already support? Does it fit into my blog's currently content? Would I have to do some really creative writing to make it fit? 

Ask yourself: If I bought this product on a whim or visited this business, would I write a post about it anyway? When it comes to sponsored posts, there's your answer. 

Remember those really weird few weeks last year where it felt like every fashion and lifestyle blogger was sponsored by Kotex? Man, did that bring out some weird posts! No offense to anyone who took the sponsorship, but it felt like Kotex was handing out free samples, in exchange for posts, like candy... and nearly everyone took it. I remember even a new age positivity guru blog that I follow had a sponsored Kotex post, as well as a hippie grunge fashion blogger. And you know what? It turned me off both all the bloggers who posted Kotex-sponsored content and Kotex itself. That's not a win for a company or a blog--so what's the point? 

Don't Take Offers Just for Free Stuff

We've all interacted with One Of Those Bloggers on Twitter: they just want free stuff. They just want products. They tweet major companies every chance they get, spend Twitter chats sending out their link (instead of actually interacting with other bloggers), and post product review after product review in the hopes that Benefit, Ulta, or any other brand will send them free merch. No one really likes this blogger and no one should aspire to be like this. 

Blogging isn't about "free stuff." It's great to get a free mascara to review, or a box of Cheerios, or something fun... but blogging should, first and foremost, be about providing great content to readers. It's a special subset of the population that reads and supports blogs (and Pinterest has definitely helped with this!) but they are very easily turned off. No one wants to read the same boring review over and over. No one wants to be sold too 100% of the time! 

If you started your blog to get free stuff, think again. It's never going to be authentic. 

If It Doesn't Feel Right, Don't Do It

It feels like a hundred years ago, but back when I wrote Locked Out, I accepted a sponsorship from Vedette Shapewear. At the time, I was excited: they sponsored tons of bloggers (in retrospect, this should have been a warning sign) and had tons of followers on social media. I picked out the products I wanted to try, got the rules for my posts, and excitedly started creating content. However, when I sent photo and post drafts to them, they responded that they weren't happy: they felt like my outfits weren't showing off the shapewear appropriately. A big part of their campaign was wearing shapewear as daywear, which is fine in theory... but I'm not a high fashion model. I can't exactly pull of wearing a sheer bra in the day time. Instead, I'd worn a sheer top over it, as well as an A-line skirt. They wanted the photos and outfit to be sexier. Had they not looked at my blog? 

In retrospect, I should have known it wasn't a good fit and, even at the time, I'd had my reservations. I should have said "No thanks!" at the start, but I was too excited at being offered a chance. 

Moral of the story: if a sponsored post opportunity doesn't feel right, don't do it. 

Stay True to You

Only you fully understand what you want from your blog and only you see what your audience loves most. When it comes to monetized content--from ebooks to sponsored posts--stay true to what you want to include... and remember what your audience wants. Taking the time to include monetized content is beneficial to you, but spending extra care to ensure that it remains authentic (and your blog stays amazing) is just as beneficial. 

Do you have tips for monetizing your blog without selling out? Share with me on Twitter!

3 Super Easy Maternity Outfits (That Anyone Can Wear)

Maternity clothes. They're the worst, right? I've written about them before and my feelings are, obviously, clear: maternity clothes are awful and horrendously expensive. But as much as I'd like to say "you can do without them!" I know that isn't true. At a certain point, your jeans aren't going to be able to button and your belly band can only hold so much in. Your comfort comes first and sometimes, that means full, stretchy panels that go to the top of your rib cage. 

However, it doesn't mean you have to break the bank to stay cute while pregnant. I like to think I did so (even as I took to wearing leggings everyday after around 32 weeks). Here are three outfits, and suggestions, for keeping yourself cute and comfy during the hardest 9 months of your life. 

1. Stretchy Long T-Shirt, Jeans, & Accessories

This photoset is courtesy of KaseyoftheFields on Polyvore. I'm pretty sure she never intended it to be used as an example of a maternity outfit, but let me tell you, it totally works. Stretchy, extra long t-shirts and tank tops from Target, Forever 21, and Old Navy saved my butt (or, uh, belly) during my pregnancy. I am personally not a fan of flowy maternity tops: I thought they made me look huge. 

Instead, I invested in a good pair of maternity jeans (mine were these Liz Lange jeggings from Target) and then a variety of t-shirts and tank tops for layering. With this basic uniform, you can add scarves, jackets, cardigans, and accessories to keep your look fresh as the days pass. 

2. Maxi Skirt with... Anything

You know what saves pregnant women? Maxi skirts. They don't even have to be maternity (as this outfit set proves). If you have any belly sensitivity, which is incredibly common, jersey knit maxi skirts are sometimes the only thing you can wear. The bonus? They are incredibly affordable. I bought a plain, black maxi skirt in April that I have worn so much that it is pilling--but it was only $15. I've also found great maxi skirt options at Rue 21, Target, and Old Navy for less than $20. You can wear the skirt under your bump or you can pull it up over if you need to alter the length. 

Just like a great pair of maternity jeans, you can pair maxi skirts with essentially anything. I'm partial to layered tank tops and a great cardigan or jacket, but you can go with flowy tops or sweaters as the weather gets chillier. 

3. Basic Maxi Dress + Tops

If you're going to drop a ton of cash on anything while pregnant, I recommend a great maxi dress. Like maxi skirts, they are incredibly versatile and help with belly sensitivity. As well, wearing dresses while pregnant keeps pressure off of your bladder, which can reduce trips to the bathroom. (This is a win-win.) You might think a maxi dress has limited options, but think again. 

My favorite way to wear my basic black maxi dress during the summer was with a chambray top tied over my belly. This helped keep me warm in chilly air conditioning (without having to lug around a separate sweater or jacket) and it looked super cute. I also experimented with belting t-shirts over my maxi dress and belting a variety of cardigans. There are tons of ways to layer a maxi dress, so pick one in your favorite color and play with your options! 

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For more great maternity outfit options, check out my maternity style board on Pinterest or view my past pregnancy outfits on Instagram!

Social Media Isn't Scary (I Promise)

Some people intuitively "get" social media.

And of course, some don't. 

Funny enough, I would actually consider myself in the second group. Inherently, I'm not a person who enjoys bragging (or does it well), nor am I inherently charismatic. 

The parts of social media that I "get" tend to be the nitty gritty: collecting statistics; basic scheduling tips and tricks; the importance of visual content; and analytics. And all that I've learned from years of using social media on my own and through working in social media for a year.  

The number one thing I've heard from friends who also work in the industry is this: "social media is intimidating!" or "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong on social media..."

I don't claim to have all the answers... but sometimes, I think the solution to the problems many people have with social media is incredibly simple. 

Social media isn't scary... and it isn't complicated either. 

Social media is incredibly easy. That isn't to say that it's "easy" to get followers or to make sales--that's actually quite complicated. But social media itself is easy and it doesn't have to be scary, time consuming, or intimidating. 

Good social media requires a few things: 

• A routine, 
• Dedication, 
• And specific attention to analytics and results.

Social media isn't time consuming.

When I was training realtors on using social media, the number one argument and complaint I got was, "But I don't have time!"

Social media can seem daunting because it seems like you'd have to spend hours on social media: posting, reading, responding. That just isn't the case. It'd be great if we all have 5-6 hours a day to dedicate to social media (and how fun too!), but none of us do--even social media professionals. 

As I said, social media requires a routine and dedication to that routine. The advice I gave to realtors was this: take 10 minutes at the start and end of everyday to check your social media accounts (whether it is Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn). Use those 10 minutes to like anything, RT a few tweets, and Favorite any articles you want to post yourself. On a weekend morning, you can take an hour, tops, to repost articles, write content, or create a timeline of content you want to share. 

It sounds easy, right? It is. It just takes time management, dedication, and a strict routine--things that entrepreneurs are supposed to have anyway, right? 

Social media requires strategy. 

Whether you're running a lifestyle or fashion blog or starting your own business, having a social media strategy is important. As I've written in the past, this is something I struggle with personally (it's hard to draw the line between personal social media and public!). Adhering to a strategy--and not deviating, despite what you might want--is incredibly important. Knowing the times to post, how to interpret analytics, and what kind of content your audience favors is daunting, but by creating a strategy, you can keep an eye on all of those details--and succeed.

Need help creating a strategy for your social media? I can help.