5 New Years Resolutions I Wish My Baby Would Make

It's January, which means it's time for everyone to make (and probably break) a few resolutions. I've made my list of resolutions, but when my sister-in-law asked what Forrest's goals for the new year were, well, I had a few ideas. 

1. Sleep in the crib, Rock'n'Play, Swing, Bassinet, ANYWHERE

Forrest is a certified catnapper and he hates being put down for said naps. If he could work on taking a nap anywhere than craddled in my arms, it'd be pretty cool. 

2. Find Hands

If you hang out with Forrest and I enough, you will inevitably witness me grabbing his hand or foot, waving it in front of his face, and saying, "Find your hand/foot!" Get on it, kid, I'm ready for you to enjoy toys. 

3. Become a Car Seat Lover

Danny and I have big plans for Spring Break (an Idaho trip) so I'm really hoping Forrest turns into a road warrior this year. He is so far indifferent regarding his car seat--sometimes he falls asleep, sometimes he screams. 

4. Give Mama Some Free Time

Mom spends a lot of time holding, rocking, playing, and feeding, not to mention pumping, washing bottles, and sanitizing everything in the house. A nice, long nap during the day (in a swing, bassinet, anywhere? See resolution 1) would be awesome. Even once a week. 

5. Continue to Rock at Everything & Be Awesome

Ok, let's be real--aside from the co-sleeping, the catnaps, the cuddling obsession, and minor car seat aversion depending on his mood, Forrest is a pretty fabulous baby. He sleeps 4-5 hour stretches at night, doesn't spit up too often, eats really well, smiles a lot, and is adorable. Keep on keepin' on, kid. Hey, and how about we skip the 4-month sleep regression? That would be cool!

How a New Coffee Maker Changed my Mornings

It was approximately halfway through November when I noticed that something was, well, off about my coffee maker. Every morning, while Danny gave Forrest his last bottle, I would get the coffee maker ready and get it started as I pumped, washed bottles, and made bottles for the day. I'd make Danny a lunch, pour myself a cup of coffee, take Forrest off Danny's hands, and then watch Good Morning, America! as Danny got ready for work. It would be approximately 3 or 4 hours later when I realized the coffee maker was still brewing. No matter how much water we added, the coffee maker went from only making 8 cups or, somedays, even just 6. 

We cleaned the water receptacle, scraped calcium build up wherever we could find it, ran vinegar through it... and nothing. It still continued to make coffee, but each day, it struggled just a little bit more to do that. And the endless steaming and boiling and noise making got a little annoying, especially after noon. 

However, it was the days where it made barely enough coffee for Danny to fill his (admittedly way too big) travel mug, leaving with me maybe a teensy cup that really started to get to me. 

I never realized the importance of coffee in my life until I couldn't have it. I'd never been much of a coffee drinker. Even in college, I would go weeks between Starbucks or Dutch Bros purchases. When I was working at a car dealership, I got Dutch Bros everyday, but it was more for the taste than the caffeine. It was only about a year and a half ago that I started drinking, and enjoying, coffee--but I always insisted I didn't need it the way some people did. 

When I first got pregnant, I told myself I would avoid caffeine for nine months. I solemnly resolved to do this for the good of the baby, utterly convinced that without caffeine, I would be totally fine! The exact same person I've always been! This was a lie and I absolutely knew it, but I was in denial. 

I went without caffeine for two weeks while I was pregnant. Two weeks. I was miserable. Because, not only was I having caffeine withdrawals and, thus, caffeine headaches, I started to get morning sickness. Combine with the horrible fatigue that plagued me my entire pregnancy and it was an absolute disaster. I had to admit it to myself: I needed caffeine. I needed it to survive.

Sorry, scratch that: other people needed me to consume caffeine for their own good. It's the way of the world. 

So I continued to drink coffee throughout my pregnancy, mostly openly because I refuse to be held down by society's expectations of a healthy pregnancy. 

After Forrest was born, I went a week without caffeine--hospital coffee is, after all, terrible.

Then, once we were home and there was no nurse to help me with every-two-hour feedings, I started to truly understand how much I needed caffeine. I needed my morning coffee, as much for the caffeine as for the ritual, the tie to a normalcy I'd given up in favor of warming bottles, rocking a baby, and changing diapers. 

Coffee tied me to the rest of the world, helped me to stay functioning even when I was running on 2-3 hours of sleep. 

So when the coffee maker decided to give up the ghost and start making less than 6 cups of coffee (after receiving 12+ cups of water), I knew it was time: we had to do something, or I was going to go crazy. 

It took nearly a month but we finally got a new coffee maker. Danny and I are decidedly cheap. If I have to spend more than $40 on something, it better be totally worth it. So I was excited when we found a programmable coffee maker for $24 at Target. We brought it home, as excited as if we were bringing home a new baby or something, and got it ready. 

I screamed with delight the first morning I went downstairs and found coffee, piping hot and ready, at 6am. I was also delighted to not have the coffee maker hissing and fizzing at me for the entire morning. Mostly, I was just excited to have enough coffee for both Danny and I so we could be humans, and not zombies, while taking care of Forrest. And most of all, I found myself astounded at just how happy and fulfilled it made me to have a working, functioning coffee machine. 

10 Tips for Soon-to-Be New Moms

No less than 7 of my friends and acquaintances announced their pregnancies over the week of Christmas. As I look back wistfully at my pregnancy (and the fast-approaching end of my maternity leave), there are some things I wish I'd known about what was about to happen to me and my life. I survived the first 3 months of Forrest's life. That's a pretty big achievement. Here's what I've learned: 

1. The baby is either going to sleep or it won't. Don't sweat it. 

"My baby wakes up every 2 hours. Help!" 

"My baby has been sleeping for 5 hours, at what point should I call 911?" 

Every baby is different. Some will sleep, some won't. Some will want to eat and play every two hours. Some will be out for 6-8 at night from the beginning. And, at any moment, this could change. A typical every-two-hours baby will suddenly sleep through the night. And those magic babies that people brag about will suddenly start waking up every two hours. Because, here's the thing, babies like to keep you on your toes. Nothing is permanent. Nothing. 

2. You don't need the fanciest stroller or car seat or whatever. 

There is a major dick-measuring group of mommies out there who love their strollers and want to tell you all about how spending $1,000 on a piece of plastic is soooo much better than the cheaper options. Ignore these people (and please don't become one). Get the Graco or Chicco or whatever set that is in your price range. It's just as safe as the others. Really. As long as you install it properly. The stroller will be just as confusing to unfold in the rain in the Target parking lot. The baby won't know, nor will the baby judge you for it. Because undoubtedly, no matter what stroller and car seat you use, the baby will inevitably scream through the entire store in it. 

3. "I will never..." are words that you will eat. 

"I will never co-sleep!" I crowed, repeatedly, while pregnant. I swore up and down. Forrest sleeps, happily, next to me every single night. I set lots of rules for myself: walks in the park, grocery shopping, keeping the house clean, scheduling naps. I have yet to keep a single promise I made to myself while pregnant. Things change. The baby you end up giving birth to will never be the one you planned to have. That's ok! Do whatever it takes and don't feel bad about it. 

4. Feed the baby. 

Just feed the baby. Stop stressing about breastfeeding if it's hard. It's ok to supplement. It's ok to go to formula. It doesn't make you a failure or a bad mom. And if breastfeeding is going great, that's awesome--but it doesn't make you better than anyone else. We're all just feeding babies here. Just feed the baby. Resist the urge to smack the Target cashier who sneers when you buy formula, or more nipple pads, or rice cereal. It's your baby. Feed it.  

5. Stop Google-ing everything.

I have Googled baby poop, eye pictures, ear pictures, and rib cages. I have frantically, usually while rocking Forrest, read the same 4 pages of links regarding sleep training over and over again. I have repeatedly Googled how to sleep train without resorting to CIO and Ferbering. I have typed, in all caps no less, "MY BABY WON'T GO TO SLEEP AHHHH" into Google at least three times. Resist the urge. Stop using Google. Expel it from your mind. You'll only drive yourself crazy. 

Instead, call the pediatrician. It's ok to drive them a little crazy with your crazy. 

6. You will miss being pregnant.

I hated being pregnant. Capital H, HATED, pregnancy. And yet, about two weeks after Forrest was born, I started missing it. I found myself thinking wistfully of the nights I could feel him kicking as I fell asleep. It is a strange phenomena to immediately miss the state you couldn't wait to escape, but there it is. You will miss being pregnant, you will miss your little human being a part of you, you will miss being able to keep them 100% safe inside of you. It's ok. Just don't get pregnant again right away, for the love of God. 

7. Find a good group of moms. 

Find a mom group to join on Facebook. I have an October due date group on Facebook and I spend 90% of my time there. Danny is probably tired of hearing about them. In most conversations, I say, "In my October due date group on Facebook..." at least four times. I can't help it. I get all my advice from them. They answer all my questions. We complain about our babies and husbands and dogs and houses in the privacy of the group. Find a small group to join. Don't start fights. Avoid talking about vaccinations. Be nice to them. 

8. Whatever you feel, it's ok. 

You will have a moment where you wonder why you thought you do this. You will have a moment where you wonder what you're doing, if you should just wait until your husband and baby are asleep and quietly pack up and leave. You will have moments where you wish with everything in you that someone would just show up and take the baby for an hour, two hours, a week maybe. It's ok. We've been there. 

9. If you have anything you particularly enjoy doing, you probably won't do it for a while. 

Case in point, I've been writing this blog post since October 25. I'm not kidding. I have only finished books because my 11+ lb baby pins me down for every nap. Forget cooking elaborate meals, washing your bedding, doing your hair the way you like it, or wearing anything dry clean only. 

10. You'll be really, really happy (even when you aren't). 

Taking on motherhood is one of the biggest challenges of our lives. It's amazing what we can do! It's also downright catastrophic in terms of how it completely alters your life and nothing can really prepare you for it. But even when you're awake at 2am and super cranky about it... you'll be happier than you've ever been. I promise. 

Let's Get Organized this Holiday Season (Without Shopping)

I love being organized. I don't often consider myself the most organized person around, but when other people see my work areas, they always seem impressed by the order of it all. Mainly, I just like to have a place for everything so even if I let things go, I can quickly clean everything up. However, since Forrest was born, my work areas have fallen into a little bit of a disarray. I've shown up early to appointments and then late to others. Generally, I only know about half of what is going on at any time. I need to get my stuff back in gear and get organized again. I've been looking through Pinterest for some ideas and these are my favorites. 

1. Use this Moleskine hack. 

Almost everyone has a spare notebook lying around. If you've ever expressed any interest in writing, surely someone (well meaning!) has bought you a notebook. Maybe it's a Moleskine, but it doesn't have to be. I love turning Moleskines into planners, either with month calendars or weeks. They really are the perfect size for it. You can create any kind of planner you want: a bullet journal, a weekly planner, or just a book of lists. Whatever. Use it to plan your goals, set up a timeline for the New Year, or create a budget for yourself. The options are endless. 

2. Pick a Planner.

Getting a new planner doesn't always mean buying something. Lots of bloggers dedicated to planners and organization make planner packs for readers that you can download and print for free. How awesome is that!? I like this one linked above, but there are tons on Pinterest. You just need a binder of your choice, a printer, and some paper. 

3. Create a "Family Planner." 

This is something I've been meaning to do for ages. A Family Planner organizes cleaning lists, warranty information, timelines, and more for your family and more. If you have kids, you can include a calendar and school information. Again, there are tons of free templates for Family Planners out there. This is first on my list for holiday organization!

4. Make it cute. 

As with anything, I think the more personalized you make it, the more you're likely to keep using it. I use a Happy Planner to organize dates, blog posts, and my journal entries these days and I love taking 10-15 minutes every week to decorate the next week. It's just relaxing! Check out my Paper & Planners board on Pinterest for some of my favorite free, printable sticker pages for planners, scrapbooks, and more. 

NaNoWriMo, Week 1

Why did I ever decide to do this? 

Forrest was sleep on my chest; I had bottles to wash, milk to pump, and a dog that desperately wanted to be fed, but instead, I was frantically typing on my computer. Forrest had been asleep for approximately 40 minutes, which meant he would either sleep for another twenty or another hour. That meant I had  either twenty minutes or an hour to write about 1,000 words, but it was impossible to tell which it was. So I typed as fast as I could to account for this variable.

I'm proud to say, however, despite these obstacles that I've written my required number of words everyday. I haven't written ahead at all, but I haven't fallen behind--and that's definitely an achievement. 

As I started November, I thought I was truly insane for attempting NaNoWriMo with a newborn (#nanowrimowithanewborn on Instagram). However, I've managed to stay on task every single day, which is genuinely surprising. It helped, really, that Forrest was born a little bit early and we'd established some semblance of a routine together. It also really helped that I'd ordered a Boba wrap to help me throughout the day: I can walk, wash dishes, take out the trash, and, most importantly, write--all with Forrest strapped to my chest. 

This didn't, however, change me from often wondering why, exactly, I wanted to take on this challenge this year, of all years. Then I remember: I wanted to do this to prove that I can, that I can be a mom and creative at the same time. 

This is just a short post that I feel like, so far, I've been able to prove that to myself. I can be a mom, I can nurture my baby, I can keep the house somewhat decent, and I can still be creative. And I'm pretty proud of that. 

Should You Use an Editorial Calendar?

"Use an editorial calendar!" How many times have I read that phrase in an article about better blogging? 

Too many times, to be perfectly honest. 

An editorial calendar is, essentially, a schedule for your blog. It can be complicated (a detailed spreadsheet or calendar of posts, needed pictures, and other steps) or it can be simple (a list of blog topics, potentially arranged on a calendar). 

If you're running a big business or a marketing company, editorial calendars make sense: with two-tiered editing processes, you need to have materials written far in advance to ensure they are posted on time. The practice of editorial calendars has traveled down to blogs: it has long been suggested that all bloggers use an editorial calendar of some kind to help plan their posts and keep content posted regularly. 

However, for a vast majority of personal bloggers, editorial calendars just aren't realistic. 

The reason for this is really two-fold. Firstly, editorial calendars remove the spontaneity from blogging, so if you're blogging purely for hobby or enjoyment, you're going to remove a part of the fun from the process. Second, editorial calendars can often start to feel oppressive, even for the most seasoned of entrepreneurs and those who use their blogs as a source of income. I don't know for certain that those who use editorial calendars are more likely to experience burn out, but whenever I've tried to strictly plan a month of blogging, I've found myself resenting it.

That being said, having a plan for your blog--either week-to-week or month-to-month--can be helpful in staying organized and always have something to post. If you're like me (and super busy with a job, a newborn, or an active social life), if I don't have content planned, my blog can be silent for days. 

There are lots of ways to keep content on your blog. An editorial calendar is just one method. Here's what I'm doing to keep content posted--but avoiding an editorial calendar: 

1. I write posts a week in advance at most.

I try to schedule all my posts for the week on Sunday, which means I spend the week before writing and editing them. I don't like to write posts more than a week in advance because 1) I end up really confused about what time period I need to write about and 2) I think it removes my voice from my blog too much. 

2. I keep a constant list of topics. 

I keep this list in my Happy Planner, where I write my daily journal and plan blogs for the week. This is just the easiest way for me to store ideas for future posts. Instead of trying to plan for a month or two months at a time, I plan for the week ahead (and potentially for major holidays). 

3. I don't do weekly features. 

Weekly features are great--I used to love Things I Love Thursday and the like. However, after a few weeks, I find it's easy to use them as a crutch: I don't plan content because I know I'll have a pre-set post for Thursday or Friday. Also, weekly features tend to get a little boring after a while. A few times a year is fine, but who wants to read a list of things you love every single week? 

4. If I decide I don't like a topic, I don't write about it. 

Last week, I intended to have this post written and posted on Friday. But I couldn't figure out an angle: what did I want to write about when it came to editorial calendars? I don't use one and I generally don't think they work for individual blogs. Because I couldn't decide what I wanted to post about, I waited--I didn't just churn out a post to have one. If you can't think of anything to write, writing fluff isn't the way to go. It doesn't benefit anyone. 

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Some bloggers thrive on using editorial calendars. It entirely depends on how you write and how you run your blog. Do you use an editorial calendar? How do you keep content organized? 

Improving Your Blog in 4 Steps

How can I make my blog better?

It's the question I've asked myself hundreds of times. From the minute I started my first blog back in 2005 (those heady LiveJournal days), I wanted whatever I created to be the absolute best it could be. I learned HTML to write LiveJournal and Myspace layouts; I taught myself rudimentary graphic design skills to create my own icons. My tastes (as well as my platform of choice) evolved with time: I moved on to Wordpress, then Blogger, then Squarespace. I kept finding new ways to make my blog better. 

I am, by no means, an expert in the blog world. I write as a hobby, as well as professionally, but there are still many things I don't know about when it comes to blogging. I wouldn't call myself a standout success story; I've never gone viral and I don't count myself in the group having thousands upon thousands of followers. I do, however, consider myself to have vastly improved my blog since 2005 and even 2008, when I started Locked Out (my first semi-successful blog).

Here are just a few things I've done to make it happen: 

1. Pick a Platform. 

Pick one that works for you. I hated Wordpress the entire time I used it (granted, I was using the free website and not hosting my own site); I hated it even more when a blog post of mine (that I'd written in about 5 minutes) was picked for their Freshly Picked feature, leading over 50,000 people to my blog in one morning. It was a nightmare and I was mad they hadn't asked me to be featured because I would have undoubtedly said no. I moved to Blogger and I stayed there for five years. 

I loved Blogger: it's integrated with Gmail and it's incredibly easy to use and customize. I loved being able to easily change my background or header without having to use complicated HTML. I also loved that I could create simple CSS customizations. I really enjoyed Blogger, but after a while, I outgrew the platform: something about it felt too simple after a while and too childish. I was also ready to move on from my blog at that point and my heavy fashion and lifestyle focus. 

Squarespace has been a really enjoyable site to use: I find the variety of templates easy to use and customize, but they also always look professional. Over the past year, I've tweaked my website into one that I find incredibly visually appealing, while still retaining aspects that are professional and still individual to me. 

Your platform of choice doesn't matter to anyone but you: if you find it easier to use than any other platform, then stick with it. 

2. Keep It Simple

It's really easy to go overboard with the wild designs. A frilly, girly, and highly colored layout was popular during the Myspace days, but currently, the easier it is to read a blog, the better. That means limited, easy-to-read colors and fonts, white backgrounds, and limited graphics. It can be tempting, especially on platforms like Blogger and Squarespace where you have hundreds of fonts to choose from, to go crazy or pick the cutest font you can find--but please resist that urge. Future readers thank you. 

3. Limit Pictures

Sometimes, I get really embarrassed about the number of outfit photos I used to post: each post included at least 10 photos. 10 photos! Of the same stupid outfit! I drive myself crazy. Not only are so many pictures absolutely unnecessary, it makes your entire blog load slower than it needs to. If you need to post photos, limit yourself to five or less. Really. I promise, this will change your blog for the better. 

4. Use Free Stock Photos

It can be tempting (very tempting!) to use websites like We Heart It or Tumblr to find beautiful photos for your blog. The problem with these two websites is that it's nearly impossible to find the original owner after a while--so you can't actually credit the person responsible for that piece of art. Instead, you contribute an Internet culture of posting and reposting the same images over and over so that the original owner is forgotten in a mass of links. Instead, try out some free stock photo sites or mailing lists (like Death to Stock Photo). I've written about my favorites before here. 

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What are some steps you've taken to improve your blog in the past? Share with me in the comments or on Twitter! 

The Fantasy of Postpartum Style

I came home from the hospital 22 pounds lighter than when I'd given birth, but that didn't mean my pre-pregnancy jeans buttoned.

It's important to know that this is not exactly typical in pregnancy. As of writing this, I'm a mere 2 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. As it turned out, I'd been gaining water weight for a majority of my pregnancy (suggesting preeclampsia without ever actually showing any symptoms), meaning that the minute I wasn't pregnant anymore, all that water had to go somewhere.

The entire time I was pregnant, I fantasized about what I would wear post-pregnancy: chic striped shirts and jeans for walks in the park, cute sweaters and boots. I pinned outfits on Polyvore. I spent hours looking at boots, measuring my calves (which were bloated with fluid, little did I know), and excitedly looking forward everything I thought I would wear once I actually gave birth. Part of me knew that I wouldn't just automatically shrink back to how I looked before, but having no experience with a postpartum body, I couldn't imagine any other world. 

But one month postpartum and I'm still dressing, essentially, the same exact way I dressed during pregnancy. I have made little discernible change in my wardrobe, aside from the fact that 1) my shoes fit and 2) my clothes are a little (or in some cases, a lot) more comfy now. I also spend about half of my day pumping and feeding Forrest, which means that my clothes require me to be able to easily take my shirt off and that they are covered in milk at least part of the time. I only recently wore jeans for the first time since giving birth and that's only because I bought a new pair. But, typically, day-to-day I wear a tank top and sweatpants. 

It was very easy to imagine that, the minute I had Forrest, my life would transform back into the life I'd always known: I'd dress the same ways, do the same things, and have time for everything I'd ever done before. In these first few hectic days, I've found myself briefly wondering what, exactly, I've gotten myself into. Am I insane? Why did I ever think I could handle this?

The first few weeks of having a baby are, ultimately, about survival: you do what you have to to get through the day, whether that means not showering for four days, wearing the same tank top, or carrying your baby around near constantly because they won't sleep otherwise. Survival, strangely enough, doesn't really include dressing in all the things you fantasized about wearing. 

That doesn't mean there aren't opportunities for style in the early months. One of the best things new parents can do is take some time for themselves. At least once a week, my mom will watch Forrest while Danny and I go out to dinner or go grocery shopping. It gives us a chance to dress and act like humans again... as well as to eat a full meal with both hands. Often, days where Danny and I go out, even for an hour, on our own are the days that I shower, do my hair, and put on normal clothes. A month ago, I never would have walked out the door with primer, foundation, and mascara, but I frequently find myself heading to pediatrician appointments in yesterday's make up. 

Style is something that will always be incredibly important to me as a person. I love dressing up, creating outfits, and thinking of new ways to wear things. But as a new mom, it's just not a priority... and that's ok.