How I'm Prepping for NaNoWriMo

I love NaNoWriMo. I've attempted to participate the last several years--and I've won at least 3 times, if I remember correctly. Not last year, though. Last year, I had a newborn, a pumping schedule, and all kinds of new responsibilities and stresses. I just couldn't do it! But this year, I really feel like I'm ready. 

Every year, I do the same things to get ready. Want to know what they are? Here's my process: 

Step 1: Pick a topic

Every year, I pick something I want to write about. One year, I wanted to write about a female marathon runner; the next year, I wanted to write about farming communities. I picked an idea, something I was interested in at the time, and ran with it. This year, I'm really into 1950s carnivals and circus culture. So guess what my topic is? 

Step 2: Write an outline

Ok, so I've read some arguments that outlines miiiight be cheating at NaNoWriMo? But I disagree. I feel like if you don't know where you're going as you write, you're going to write yourself into a corner eventually--and that can let writers block take over. My logic is that I don't always know 100% of how my story is going to go--but I have at least 5 scenes per chapter outlined that I need to include to drive the plot forward, reach the climax, and ultimately resolve. That's it! I don't outline much; I outline just enough that if I start feeling bored or directionless, I can steer my novel back to the original plotline. 

Step 3: Make a schedule

I like schedules, obviously, and I love outlines, also obviously. The years I've won at NaNoWriMo, I keep a very strict schedule about my writing: on work days, I write for a set period of time; on non-work days, I write for a set period of time; and on weekends, I write for a set period of time. i don't let myself deviate from it... or else, I fall behind. The hardest time is Thanksgiving, obviously, so I usually try to write well in advance for that. Basically: pick when and where you're going to write and stick with it. 

Step 4: Succeed!

Ultimately, success is where you find it: even if you don't "win" NaNoWriMo, but you write 30,000 words of a novel you've been meaning to write for ages... that's still a major achievement! Success is all about what happens after November. Do you just drop the novel and stop writing for another year? Do you start edits? Do you write consistently, according for your schedule, for another six months? Last year, I succeeded because I was able to write something while taking care of a tiny new human. This year, I want to succeed while taking care of a grumpy toddler. Even if I don't hit 50,000 words, if I write even a little bit, that's a win for me! 

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Tell me about your novel! 

5 Apps that Every New Mom Needs

In the weeks after I had Forrest, my life would have fallen apart if I didn't use apps to help me remember things, get Forrest to sleep, or generally pull my life back together into some semblance of normalcy. I went through my phone and picked out the apps I used the most in the first 6 months of Forrest's life. These apps saved my sanity, helped me remember details that otherwise would have just... slipped away, and ultimately, kept me company on those long, lonely days spent holding Forrest as he napped. 

1. SoundSleeper

SoundSleeper is a white noise app. That's it. That's all it does. And it is invaluable. I would pay for this app, except I didn't have to, because these wonderful people give it to you FREE. There are about 10 different noises to choose from (Forrest's favorite is Mountain Stream, it still knocks him out within 5-10 minutes). They play for 30 minutes and then fade out, but you can always extend the time back to 30 minutes near the end. I have played the Mountain Stream noise at least 900 times since Forrest was born. That's like 450 hours of white noise. 

2. The Wonder Weeks App

This is an app that actually has no real use except to read and go, "oh my god, ok, it's normal, he's fine." I actually forget it exists until Forrest starts turning into the meanest little gremlin on the planet. Wonder Weeks are proposed weeks (they're actually groups of weeks, like 4-5 at a time) that coincide with major periods of neurodevelopment. Recently, Forrest started throwing temper tantrums, only wanting to eat certain foods, and generally being a MAJOR hand full. I opened up the Wonder Weeks App and realized, oh, he's smack dab in the middle of a wonder week--which is why he is so cranky. This app is great for reminding yourself that the fussiness will go away. Eventually. 

3. Sprout Baby

Because of Forrest's preterm birth, I had to keep meticulous track of his feeding and pooping. Really. At first I used a notebook, but that required a lot of energy. Eventually, I downloaded Sprout Baby and, yes, I ended up paying the $4.99 upgrade on it. You can use Sprout Baby to keep track of bottle feeding (ounces, when, and what was fed, formula or breastmilk), to keep track of breast feeding (which side, how long), and to keep track of diapers. It sounds dumb now, but these are questions that pediatricians expect you to answer and keeping track of diaper output is incredibly important in the first six months. Sprout Baby was the easiest to use app of all the ones I tried (and yes, I tried a ton). It also had a pump log, which, if you end up pumping, saves you a massive headache because you can see your output for each day in a handy-dandy graph. 

4. Waterlogged

The number one rule of breastfeeding and/or pumping is that you have to stay hydrated. When you start getting even a little dehydrated, your supply goes way down. Waterlogged sends reminders of when you should drink some good ol' H20 and allows you to set a goal. (As a heads up, nursing mothers need 140+ ounces of water a day. Really.) 

5. Cartwheel

If you're a mom in the United States, you probably go to Target at least once a week. In the early days, we always needed something: more bottles, more pacifiers, diapers, wipes, a hat... Cartwheel saved us tons of money each trip because we could scan everything we were buying and see if there was a coupon for it. It's super easy to use and saves you money--what's not to love? 

Do you have any apps that new moms need to try? Share with me on Twitter

The Perfect Holiday Bucket List

I get...overly excited about the holidays, I'll admit it. I'm one of those people who get excited once September starts because first, it's Halloween, then it's Thanksgiving, and then it's Christmas. It all is just a snowball: one favorite holiday after another. Then, a stretch of months until summer returns. Oof, that stretch of January through May is hard. So I really believe in making the most of October through December. 

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday; however, as I've gotten older, I've found myself favoring Thanksgiving because it combines my favorite parts of Christmas without the pressure of giving gifts. Either way, though, I consider late October to be the start of the "Holiday season," starting with Halloween.

I wanted to share my holiday bucket list for this year. Sometimes, I frame these things as "goals," but they're not really goals, are they? They won't really improve my life in any way; I just really want to do them. 

So, here it is: my holiday bucket list. 

1. Take Forrest to a Halloween party

I have never been a fan of trick-or-treating, I should probably come clean about that, and I'm not 100% sold on Forrest doing it. I am, however, very into Halloween parties and festivals. Our town has a ton of options--including trick-or-treat at downtown businesses, several Trunk or Treats at local churches, and at least one Halloween festival. We'll be picking our favorite as Halloween approaches and taking Forrest. 

2. Go Christmas light hunting.

This is one of my favorite things to do at Christmas: load up the car with a snack and some hot cocoa and then, just drive around looking at the best Christmas lights. I love the houses that go all out, even if I don't!  

3. Get the perfect Christmas card photo of Forrest.

This is truly a bucket list item, considering the fact that Forrest barely sits still to eat, let alone for a photo. 

4. Buy matching Holiday pajamas. 

5. Find Forrest a really cute, entirely inappropriate outfit for Thanksgiving

I'm talking fancy suit level inappropriate! Last year, I dressed him in a tiny sweater vest at Christmas and it was totally adorable, totally uncomfortable, and totally inappropriate for a tiny baby. However, it made for some great photos, so I refuse to stop doing it. 

6. Sing Christmas carols with Forrest

Forrest is just starting to get the singing thing and he loves music. I like to imagine us dancing around the Christmas tree, in matching pajamas, singing at each other. But most likely, I'll just turn on a Spotify station while we eat breakfast. 

7. Help Forrest put ornaments on the tree. 

We probably won't do a real, or very big, tree this year because Forrest would undoubtedly tear it down, but I really want to get him involved in decorating. 

8. Make Christmas cookies

My absolute favorite Christmas tradition! I'll probably make some eggless cookie dough that Forrest can roll out and safely eat (because most likely, he will just put it in his mouth), and then he will get to try his first real sugar cookie. 

What's on your holiday bucket list this year? 

My Personal Goals

Yesterday, I wrote about one of my most important personal goals for my 28th year: taking better care of myself, including allowing myself to want things. 

Just like with my blog goals, I find it easiest to break goals into small steps that I can follow one at a time. My typical process for doing this includes doing one thing a week. As an example, when I was pregnant, I set a goal to get dressed every day for a week; then I set a goal to shower every day for a week; and then I set a goal to do my make up every day for a week. I slowly build on my goals until I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. 

For my personal goals for the next year, that's what I'm doing. 

At work, we often do something that I find very helpful: you plan just 3-4 months at a time (usually a quarter); then in 6-8 weeks you reassess what's happened and what's coming up next and you make appropriate changes. I really like this process because, combined with my usual method of setting and achieving goals, it makes it really easy to stay on top of things. 

As with my blog goals, I want to share the next 3 months of goals. 

November

For November, my goal is to focus entirely on self-care and intuitive eating. I recently started listening to Food Psych by Christy Harrison (a podcast about eating disorders and intuitive eating) and I've found it really helpful in terms of dealing with my anxiety and food issues, as well as body image. For November, my goal is to do one self-care process a week--and really focus on it. These include journaling, quiet reading time, alone time (going shopping or out to a meal on my own), and incorporating exercise into my daily life. 

December

My goal for December, as promised, builds on my goal for November: I want to focus on staying active, maintaining my mental health, and focus on intuitive eating. As the holidays approach, I can sometimes get overwhelmed and retreat into my feelings of anxiety. This year, my strict goal is going to be to continue to allow myself alone time, but to also say yes to all social obligations (unless childcare arrangements cannot be made). This last part is very important as I'm a pretty well known social flake! My main goal is to attend one social function a week. 

January

For January, I want to start taking steps to improve my anxiety through improving the appearance of my home. I've written before about how my house is messy, by my standards. (Most people tell me my house looks "cozy": not pristine, but not a disaster. To me, it's a disaster.) In January, I want to focus on deep cleaning one space per weekend, focusing especially on my office and bedroom. This goal will definitely improve my self-care goals and feelings of anxiety. 

How do you set personal goals? Share with me on Twitter!

My 28th Year

Well, it's here. My birthday. 

To be completely honest, I don't really look forward to my birthday anymore. I haven't really for a long time. 

Around two years ago, I remember telling my sister- and brother-in-law that no one really cares about your birthday once you're in the real world. Sure, your close friends and family care--but no one at work really wants to throw you a party or take you to lunch. They might, but ultimately, it's not make-or-break for them. My sister-in-law, bless her, was shocked to learn that no one I knew made a big deal about my birthday: at work, I don't like parties and even if they tried to throw me one, I would probably say no thank you

To some people, this is probably shocking. When I was younger, I promise, I did love my birthday. I just don't anymore. 

It's not that I'm growing older. I really don't care how old I am. But the older I've gotten, the more I've realized that the world doesn't, can't, and probably shouldn't revolve around me--no matter how small the capacity. I also, generally, hate the idea of other people spending money on me: I can think of 100 different ways for my husband, my mom, my friends to spend their money ("put it in savings," is what I always want to say). 

This feeling has gotten worse this year. In the past year, I think I have bought things for myself under 6 or 7 times. I barely go shopping anymore, and that includes online shopping. I bought a make up palette in August and felt guilty about it for weeks. Something about becoming a mom made my attitude about spending money kick into high gear: the money I spend on a new pair of shoes could go into Forrest's college fund, or towards his food, or buy him some new clothes because he's always outgrowing something

I would rather all money and attention go towards something else--preferable Forrest, but I'm not picky. 

However, this post isn't about my life as a spendthrift. This post is about how this--the habit I've detailed about--is a habit I'm trying to break. 

Due to a series of unfortunate events recently, I've realized that I need to start caring about myself just a teensy, weensy bit more. I don't think I'm ever going to turn into one of those people who demands attention be paid to them or gets upset when no one in the office wishes them happy birthday, but I now know that it's okay for me to demand time for myself, it's okay for me to take care of myself, and it's okay for me to accept gifts and not feel guilty. 

For my 28th year, that's my wish for myself: no more returning things I buy myself; no more talking myself out of buying something I really, truly want more than anything else; no more calculating how much money I have in my head and deciding, "no, I should buy something for Forrest instead." No more! 

It's okay to take care of myself. That's what I wish for next year: more self-care, less anxiety. 

What Does Being Petite Really Mean?

For as long as I could remember, I thought of the term "petite," as least when it was applied to body size, as meaning "short." Short sizes. Small inseam lengths. That kind of thing. When my mom and sister shopped in the petite section, it was to try to find pants they didn't have to hem. It did not, in my mind, mean that the sizes were teeny tiny. 

A few years ago, I encountered a very strange argument on Instagram regarding the introduction of new Anthropologie petite sizes. Firstly, I don't shop at Anthropologie; I cannot justify a $70 pillow or a $200+ cotton dress, I just can't. And secondly, Instagram arguments are weird and petty and always kind of funny.

The drama on the Anthropologie issue started over people leaving comments that seemed to be a little, well, thin-hating. Obviously, bodyshaming of any variety is not ok. However, I started to think: wait, what? The line is a line of smaller sizes or shorter lengths?

Basically: are they just making smaller clothes or are they making a petites line, like the petites sections that have long existed in department stores like Macy's or JCPenny's? Have we officially confused the English language so much that we have multiple different definitions of "petite"? 

As it turns out, the line is for women 5'3" and under. From what I can tell on the website, the clothes aren't necessarily smaller (except for length) and come in almost all conventional sizes. That's pretty awesome. But it made me wonder: why did the post about it on Instagram devolve into arguments about sizes (and by that I mean number sizes, not inseams), including quite a few comments that could be read as a bit thin-hating? 

I decided to google what petite meant Interesting. "Having a small and attractively dainty build." Stop, Google, you're making me blush. But seriously, is petite about being physically teeny, as in both short and extremely thin?

I have a dainty build (re: small bone structure), but some sizable fleshy parts of my body. I'm 5'2" and wear a size 8 regularly, yet I still often find myself being called the smallest person in the room (even though I know a ton of people who are smaller than me, physically, if not height-wise). Further definitions included: "small, slender, and trim; used for girls and women; a clothing size for short, slender women." Thanks, Free Online Dictionary. 

Another unhelpful, but maybe helpful, fact is this: the number of blogs dedicated to fashion for "petite" women is astonishing. I started reading through a few and I found myself getting, well, uncomfortable. The purpose of these blogs is ultimately noble and good-intentioned, but I found myself feeling a little weirded out by the constant description of their super small bodies, their need to only buy children's clothes or to search out specifically "narrow fit" boots. Some of the women who run these blogs are also not very short in stature; they just happen to be very, very thin. So, that's what petite means to some fashion blogs. 

I always thought to be petite, you just had to be short. And as far as I can tell, short people come in lots of different clothes sizes, including plus-sized. There is a disparity between what clothing producers mean when they say "petite" and what people think when they say "petite"--in fact, I think it's two different things. I think when Anthropologie posted about a new "petite" line, some people immediately thought: "clothes for skinny people." Because, apparently, that's the main definition of the word petite. 

However, when you look up Petite Size on Wikipedia, it mentions that conventional clothing sizes in the United States are designed to fit a woman who is over 5'5" (which is insanity, no wonder none of my pants fit) and so petites lines and entire store sections emerged as a place for women under 5'3" to buy clothing. And that clothing came in a variety of conventional sizes with the wonderful P added to indicate they were just cut differently. That's pretty awesome for ladies of the short variety (like me). However, now we have other definitions of petite popping up: thin or not-thin, short or not-short. 

Can we just have all words mean the same thing, ok? Thanks, English Language. 

This reminds me overwhelmingly of the use of the word "curvy": some people mean one thing when they say it, some people mean another thing when they say it, and sometimes people aren't being necessarily nice when they say it, which is pretty sucky of them. All kinds of arguments and anger can spring up when someone uses the word "curvy". I distinctly remember referring to myself as "curvy" once in college and the person I was talking with immediately consoled me, saying, "You aren't fat! Don't say that!" Except that wasn't what I meant by curvy, but ok. 

So, the real question is: are petites sections in department stores lies? What gives? 

It turns out, it's not. There are two meanings to the word petite and unfortunately, that gets confusing most of the time. Some people will claim that petites sections in stores cut their sizes about 1-1.5 sizes smaller (so a size 8 in a petites isn't really a size 8), but that doesn't make sense and isn't really true. I find I'm the same size in petites sections as I am in regular sections, everything is just shorter (and let's be real, frumpier, because apparently department stores think all people under 5'3" are 85 years and older).

Basically, what this all boils down to is this: words are just words and you shouldn't get up in arms about them, or upset about them, unless they are used intentionally to upset you (then you should totally get your cranky face on). A chain store creating a line of petites clothes wasn't meant to offend anything; it was meant to create clothes for shorties, because sometimes it is hard to find clothes in a world where all clothes are cut for people 5'5"+. Getting cranky about a store creating a line of petites -- or plus sizes or whatever -- might be personally offensive to you if, I don't know, you really dislike short people, but it's not meant to be and so... cool it and stuff, seriously. Once a "well, I don't personally like that" turns into a "I'm gonna leave hate comment on Instagram," you've magically transformed into a jerk. Congratulations!

The Hardest Part of Being in Content Marketing

I think by this point, anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty high strung: I'm neurotic and I pretty much worry 24/7. It's not super pleasant, but it's who I am. 

I often tell Danny that I worry I don't work hard enough, that I don't write enough, that I'm just not doing enough. 

This is a weird combination of worrying that I'm being seen as lazy when I relax and imposter syndrome, which is when you're constantly waiting for the people around you to realize you are a fraud. 

Again, not super pleasant, but incredibly common. 

When it comes to content marketing, I spend most of my days writing: social media, email campaigns, blogs. You name it, I'm writing it. When I'm not at work, I'm at home, thinking of blogs to write for my personal blog, thinking of social media to post. By my own counts, I'm creating about 85% of my day. 

And yet, sometimes, at the end of the day, I'll say to Danny, "I wish I had more time to write." 

Every time I say this, he looks at me like I am crazy. And really, I am. He always says that my writing output is prolific; of everyone he knows, he says, I write the most, period. But I don't believe it.

When I add up the words in my head, it feels disjointed. Something seems off about it. 

I had a talk with myself about this the other day, especially as NaNoWriMo approaches. I wonder if I'll be able to write 50,000 words in a month alongside all the other writing I do. Will I have time? 

I want to write more, but at the same time, I realize that I write so much during the day. I crank out content at a near constant rate. 

My boss often says that in a work capacity, especially in creative positions, you're output level is about 80%: you can work 30-32 hours a week pretty successfully, but those last 8 hours of work... are rough. Human beings are not designed to be creating 100% of the time, especially at professional levels. It's just not possible. Our brains get tired. 

But sometimes, that's what I expect from myself. "Why can't I write an emailer campaign, two blogs, two weeks worth of social media, and a short story all in one day!?" I don't think I literally think that, but sometimes, when I'm beating myself up for not spending more time writing in the evening, I can't help but wonder if that's how I think. 

For me this is the hardest part of working in content marketing: the creative drain it puts on me. 

I put all my creative energy into content creation, 65% of which benefits my job (not my personal brand). The rest of the time, I'm creating for my blog--which leaves very little time to create for myself. That includes journaling, scrapbooking, and fiction writing. 

It's exhausting. And it's hard. 

It's hard to be a creative in content marketing. Sometimes, it feels like a void that is just pulling me in and giving me very little in return for all the creative energy it uses. 

But realistically, it's up to me to draw the line. I can push myself: I can scramble to fill up the rest of my day with creative writing, alongside everything else I do; or I can take a break from something. 

What I decide to do will ultimately only be benefit: I can either work on my anxiety and my creative spirit; or I can more fully take on my career in content marketing. It's a draw, at this point. 

The Worst Advice I've Ever Received

Last week, I wrote about the best advice I've ever received. I thought I'd also share the flip side: the worst advice I've ever received. 

We all receive different kinds of advice every day (or maybe it's just me and Forrest!) and some of it is just plain awful. For me, bad advice often falls into 3 separate types. Here they are: 

1. Telling me what to do and not following up with why

This happens a shocking amount with Forrest. Here's the thing: I'm a rule follower. Tell me a rule and explain why and I will follow that rule for the rest of my life. (A few examples: No soda before 11pm; no eating after 7pm; no swimming after eating; etc.) It may be wrong or it may be right, but I will follow it. But I also hate being told what to do with no explanation. So suggesting I take a specific action with my job or with Forrest and then not telling me why--or when I ask for an explanation, just being told, "just try it!"--is supremely annoying. It's also bad. 

2. Negging on what I'm already doing

"Listen," you say, leaning forward, "I know you decided to do THIS, but I really think you should do THIS... I know it's been, like, 2 months, but I think it's better." 

Gee, thanks! Here's the thing: when I decided what I'm going to do, I want to see it to the end. I don't care if your uncle's brother's best friend's sister's dog did the same thing and ended up dead or something. I just want to try and forge my own path. I'm an adult. If it's not working, I think I can make that decision on my own.  

3. Giving me advice I did not ask for

Whenever someone on Facebook posts a photo of their, usually quite young, baby in a car seat, usually while their parents blearily wander through a store or wait at a doctor's office, I brace myself for what will inevitably come. Someone sees an innocent photo, cracks their knuckles, and begins to type. Listen, whether you think a baby's car seat straps are wrong or they shouldn't be wearing a hoodie or that they shouldn't be in a doctor's office, with germs everywhere, it's none of your business. So keep it to yourself. 


Bad advice has happened to the best of us. What's your least favorite type?