Why I Got Rid of All My Notebooks

I've been receiving notebooks as gifts for as long as I can remember. Well, as long as I was telling people I wanted to be a writer. Notebooks are easy gifts: they can be beautiful, they can be practical, and it's an easy writing accessory that everyone understands. 

As someone who has kept a journal my entire life, these notebook gifts have been a blessing, honestly. I've rarely had to buy my own journals, especially if someone goes above-and-beyond and gives me a Moleskine for Christmas. However, it also has meant that I've always had a surplus of notebooks. 

In fact, this surplus started to get really embarrassing when I was pregnant. I unearthed a box of blank notebooks while getting organized and cleaning out Forrest's room. I had a stack of empty notebooks on my desk, on the bookshelf in my office, in a drawer under my desk... I had notebooks. I had notebooks upon notebooks. I had more notebooks than I would ever use in my life. Why? Because I cannot hand write fiction, or poetry, or anything. The only thing I use notebooks for is journaling. And a girl can only journal so much. 

It was time to bite the bullet. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could quietly sit with a notebook and write a story. At least get out the bare bones of it. I like journaling by hand and I like taking notes; I like writing out my grocery lists and to do lists. But trying to describe something, to actually write, by hand is a huge challenge for me. I know myself well enough now to know that it's just never going to happen. That's fine! 

So I had to get rid of all those notebooks. 

Some of them were beautiful, and expensive. Some of them I had bought myself, sure that the "right notebook" would spur my creativity. Some were cheap ones I'd bought in the last days of School Supply sales. Some were gifts. Some were party favors, or I received free from work. 

They all went. Into a box, that went to Goodwill, that hopefully sold them to someone who needed them, who can actually write in a notebook. It felt weird to let go of them, to let go of the idea of the kind of person I thought I could try to be. 

How to Pitch a Story

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I was recently published on IFB. I made it one of my goals in February to start pitching stories to larger publications and getting published more and more. They published my article on writing a content marketing plan for your blog. I have a few pieces at a few other websites that will go live in March. 

If you've ever had a genius idea for a post that just didn't really, well, fit with your blog, you might have thought that meant that the idea should just... go away. Wrong! Pitch that story to a larger website, like IFB or HelloGiggles. Not sure how to go about it? Here are some steps. 

1. Review the websites contributor policy. 

Most larger blogs that accept submissions have a policy for contributors. It's usually in the footer links of the website. This is HelloGiggles, as an example. This policy gives you instructions of how to submit a pitch, what they need, and what they want from any submissions. 

2. Have an idea. 

It's easy to just send out a bunch of emails saying, "Hey, I want to write something!" But before you hit send, make sure you're sending an actual, concrete idea. Even better, have part of an article written before you do anything. 

3. Write the email. 

Make sure that the subject line meets standards. (As an example, Rookie accepts submissions, but you have to use the correct subject line. Again, read those policies!) Introduce yourself and then write a brief paragraph outlining your idea. Why do you think it would be good for that website? How would it help readers? Be sure to include a link to your blog and any writing samples you have available. Double (and maybe triple) check your email for mistakes before you hit send. 

4. Play the waiting game. 

Waiting to hear back is the hardest part. I had the quickest turn around from IFB, but for others, it can take weeks. 

5. Get published... or not. 

Boom! Your pitch gets accepted. What now? Time to write! Sit down and write the post you promised. Send it in the format they asked for (most publications are OK with Word doc format). Make sure to include a brief bio at the end! And again, play the waiting game. They'll usually let you know of an approximate publish date. 

But wait, what if they pass on the pitch? Well, that sucks. But don't take it too hard. Move on and send the pitch somewhere else. So it wasn't right for one website... maybe there is another one it would be perfect for. Do some research and find it a home. A professor in college always said that if she ever got a rejection letter, she immediately submitted either the same piece or another piece to a different magazine because it kept the momentum going. No matter what: keep the momentum going! 

How to Get Started On Wattpad

What is Wattpad? 

Wattpad is a website where you can post short stories and novels, as well as read and review stories of all kinds. 

Initially, I was very hesitant to get started on Wattpad. I'm naturally suspicious of posting my creative writing anywhere online--ever since my Livejournal days when people would steal my fan fiction and repost it as theirs, I have a major paranoia about having my hard work stolen! 

However, once I started posting on Wattpad, I really started to enjoy it. Plus, it's always fun to have new outlets for reading. I've read so many great stories on Wattpad--some short and some long--and it's so much fun. 

Why Wattpad? 

If you're a new writer (my most recent newsletter was about getting started writing if you've never done it before), it can be overwhelming to think of having someone else read what you've written. 

Socially, we tend to have this notion that if someone shows us their art, we know they can get better. We really love to watch artists grow as they paint or sculpt or whatever. Conversely, when it comes to writing, it's very difficult to be a starting writer. People have very strict ideas of what is good and bad. I have seen some halfway decent fan fiction get absolutely torn apart due to things that can be easily fixed with grammatical knowledge and formatting. But because we have this idea that you're either a great writer from the start or a bad one, people tend to give up--or, they tend to react badly to any criticism whatsoever, and so they never improve. 

Wattpad is a great way to get around that fear. When it comes to feedback, sometimes it's best to start about amateurs and then, slowly, through writing communities, work on getting better. 

Getting Start on Wattpad

I wanted to post a few tips for getting started on Wattpad. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you first register--there are so many stories, so many tags, so many new things to learn. Here are some tips: 

1. Use Canva to make your covers. 

Canva actually has pre-made templates for Wattpad covers. How convenient! One of the most daunting things of uploading your first story is that cover, right? It's the first thing people will judge. I also use Unsplash for stock photos for covers. 

2. Learn how the tags work. 

The tag system on Wattpad uses hashtags--much like Twitter or Tumblr--but in a completely different way. Some tags are very general (like #boy) and some tags are very specific (like #high-school). Search through the stories and learn how tags work, so you can better tag your stories & find readers! 

3. Join challenges.

Both of my stories currently on Wattpad were written as part of challenges! Challenges are a great way to just get writing, regardless of what ends up happening. (Full disclosure, I don't love either of the stories I have on Wattpad, but I'm working on them!) The challenges on Wattpad can give you great ideas of what to read and what to write. 

Want to read my Wattpad stories? Click here.  

How to Start a Gratitude Journal

I've been keeping journals since I was about 14 or 15, consistently. I write down just about every aspect of my life, which will leave the future a very boring record of one girl who really liked staying at home. However, I journal mostly for my benefit--not really anyone else's! This is really the perfect way to approach journaling, because it removes the stress of creating some kind of "record" for anyone other than yourself. 

Gratitude journaling is something that has emerged, quite recently, as a way to journal through anxiety and depression. Basically, in a gratitude journal, you write the things you're thankful for. It's a pretty easy concept on paper. But getting started (especially if you're struggling with anxiety or depression) can be overwhelming. 

Here are some tips and resources for getting started.

1. Pick a journal you like. 

I have tons of notebooks lying around my house. Some I use whenever I need a sheet of paper--to make a grocery list or write down a reminder. Some I am saving for a very specific purpose. (I have a London journal that I've been hoarding since 2011. Someday!) What I'm saying is: don't just use any notebook you have lying around. Pick a notebook you really want to use. Something pretty. Or something utilitarian (if that's your style). A journal with your favorite kind of paper. And remember, use your favorite pens (or whatever pen, again, if that's your style). If you're persnickety about these things, don't work against them. 

2. Find some prompts. 

When I first started gratitude journaling, I would end my usual journal entries with 5 things I was thankful for or 5 things I enjoyed that day (even if it was a crappy day). Overtime, it got more and more difficult because I found myself listing the same few things every day. Recently, I copied my friend Charlotte's gratitude journal format (that she borrowed from someone else and posted on her Instagram!) to help me get restarted. Alternatively, you can find tons of gratitude journal prompts on Pinterest. You can follow my Pinterest board on journaling here, complete with tons of prompts and inspiration. 

3. Make it part of your routine. 

Journaling works best, for me, when I do it every evening. Some people prefer journaling in the morning--it just really depends on your style! There is something alluring about waking up in the morning and drinking your morning coffee while you journal. However, life with a toddler means that does not happen in my world, but if it's possible in yours, go for it. Make filling in your gratitude journal part of your routine. 

4. Write as little or as much as you want. 

If you work best writing lists, go for it. If you want to write pages and pages... that's fine too! Lots of gratitude journal lists suggest one thing or the other--I suspect in the belief that you might run out of steam or only do superficial journaling if you go either way. However, for me, it's entirely personal; sometimes, I want to write a lot. Sometimes, I'm just going to write a list. 

5. Don't force it. 

Sometimes, I just can't think of anything I'm grateful for besides the fact that I woke up and I get to go to sleep! That's kind of a bummer, right? Unfortunately, it's the truth. However, I find it easier if I don't force it. Some days, I just cannot think of anything I want to write down and that's fine. Maybe the next day, I'll think, "Gosh, I'm in a better mood now and I can see I should have written this." If I force myself, I'm lulling myself into a false sense of "This is fine. It's all fine." If you can't think of anything to write, it's really, totally ok to not write anything. Or to write, "I'm drawing a blank. I hope I feel better tomorrow." 

Do you gratitude journal? Share with me on Twitter! I want to see what your process looks like for an upcoming newsletter! 

5 Tips for Writing Every Day

Writing every day doesn't really seem like a challenge, does it? Not until you actually make a goal to sit down and do it. 

For 2017, I set a goal to write 600,000 words in a year. That's a lot of words. And it requires me to basically write one NaNoWriMo every month. Looking at it that way, it's incredibly overwhelming. Even breaking it down into 10,000 word short stories, I still have to write five of them. 

Why did I do this to myself again?

However, as of Saturday, I am at 22,000 words for January. That's considerably more than I thought I would have by now, thanks to rewriting and editing portions of short stories to post on Wattpad. 

I thought I'd share what has worked for me to help me get to writing every day (or, at least a few days a week). 

1. Set a routine. 

The most important thing for writing, for me, is to have a routine. As an example, I write most of my blog posts on Saturday and Sunday mornings; if I don't have my week scheduled out by then, most likely, it's not going to happen. (Prime example, this post was supposed to go out last Friday.) I tend to write more in the evenings as well--especially after 6 or 7pm. (This may be because that's when my son goes to bed!) 

2. Make yourself accountable. 

Accountability is a big thing. If you want to write 1,000 words a day, you need to hold yourself to it: no procrastinating, no getting out of it. Be accountable for how much you're writing and notice the patterns that form when you decide not to. 

That all being said, accountability means more than just making yourself write. It means being kind to yourself. Having a hard time? Not enjoying the story you're writing? Then, why do it? Seriously. If you hate it, fix it. If you need to take a day off, take a day off--but be ready to jump right back into it. 

3. If you don't feel like writing, editing is a good fall back option. 

There have been a few days (probably half of January, actually) where I just didn't want to write. So I worked on editing and rewriting portions of my NaNoWriMo novel! Writing from scratch is a mentally exhausting activity. So when in doubt, I work on editing something I've been working on for a while; it still accomplishes the task of "writing," but without the mental fatigue. 

4. Start as many works as you need to. 

Right now, I have about five short stories I'm working on. That seems like a lot, right? But I find that I need variety when it comes to writing. Also, I always get a really good idea once I'm running out of mental steam for what I'm working on. (Sort of like during NaNoWriMo, I always get about 100 better ideas for novels...) I let myself start a new story--or a new outline, if that's what I want to do--in the middle of working on something else, if only for the fact that it helps me actually get to writing. 

5. Tell your friends. 

Tell your friends, or your family, or your dog, that you want to write more. Ask them to talk to you about it. If you don't have friends or family that you want to talk to about writing (trust me, I understand), tell Twitter! Or Instagram! Writing communities on social media can be some of the most supportive, amazing communities out there. Community support will help you achieve your goal, because nothing is better than support. 

5 Tropes Romance Novels Need to Drop

I love romance novels. I never thought I would write that phrase, because I used to hate them--but I don't anymore. Romance novels can be fun, little escapes that are nothing more than pure fun. Nothing serious happens. The heroine always gets the guy. It's all great. 

But the more romance novels I read, the more I realize: some of these tropes are just plain bad... but also so sickeningly common. It feels so easy for romance novels to keep writing the same formulaic story over and over and over... and over... and over... again, for years! It's easy to forget that times outside of the story have changed. 

So here are 5 tropes that romance novels seriously need to drop. If you're a romance writer, avoid these things like the plague. 

1. The controlling, alpha male lead with a tragic past. 

This tragic past conveniently always allows the heroine to forgive him for his downright shitty, abusive behavior. I recently read a romance novel (that I reviewed, rather unkindly, on Goodreads) that featured a romantic lead that was just plain abusive. He was mean; he refused to let the heroine eat if she showed up to dinner late (!!); and he treated her like trash. But when she found out his tragic story, she instantly forgave him. Oh no, no. That's not how life works. Let's drop these male lead characters, shall we? I'm only here for romances that feature diverse, compassionate, kind romantic leads from now on. 

2. The delicate, tiny, virginal heroine, also with a tragic past. 

The heroine in romance novels is always described a very specific way: she is slim, she is tiny, she is long-legged, she is either blonde or has "honey-colored" brown hair (she's never dark-haired, or dark-skinned, or short, or on the plump side). She is also a doormat, universally, with a tragic past that she hasn't received therapy for, but has moved on from pretty quickly. She's also always, always virginal. I'm over it. I'm done. Give me diverse, dynamic, powerful lead, please. 

3. The appropriation of other cultures. 

If I had a nickel for every time a female lead in a romance novel donned the traditional dress of another culture and "pulled it off," I'd have more nickels that I knew what to do with. Can we just drop this trope immediately? If you're lead is a white woman, please don't let her put on a headdress for Coachella, a Cheongsam for a fancy party, or anything else. She can wear a gown or some denim shorts like everyone else. 

4. The insta-love storylines. 

"He touched my hand and it burned through my body." I'm sorry, I know this is fantasy, but no. That's not how it happens. I want storylines where they are "meh" about each other for a while, or where they become friends first and then fall in love. I want storylines that are more about building something, rather than finding something already built and just stepping into it. Less insta-love, more actual romance. 

5. Everyone is rich (everyone).

50 Shades of Grey did the world many disservices, but the number one disservice is introducing the world to the idea that, oh yeah, everyone in a novel can be billionaires! A novel I read recently featured a rich ranch owner who took in a... secretly rich girl who was also a ranch owner. It removes any requirements of plot from the author; when your characters don't have to worry about money, they can spend all their time focusing on the romantic lead. That's boring. I need drama! Less billionaires, please. 

My Readings List [+ Where to Get Free Books!]

I love to read. Between October and December 31, I read 53 books. You read that right: 53 books in 3 months--that's about 17 books a month, that's 4 books a week. If a book sits still long enough, I'll probably read it, even if I have no interest in it. I'm just that kind of person. I'm just that kind of reader. 

On my iPhone, I keep a Note with a list of the books I'm due to read: books I've downloaded from Amazon, books I've bought, or books I plan to review. I thought I'd share my reading list because it will keep me accountable (I really need to stop downloading more books...) and because I'm always a little nosy about what other people are reading. 

Here's my list: 

• A Magical Highland Solstice, by Mary Morgan
• Highland Spy, by Madeline Martin
• All the Dead Girls,  by Rita Herron
• Highland Vixen, by Mary Wine
• The Weatherhouse, by Nan Shepherd
• Meet Me at Willoughby Close, by Kate Hewitt
• The Sheriff's Mail Order Bride, by Ann B. Harrison
• The Montana Bride, by Jeannie Watt
• The Trail of Ted Bundy, by Kevin Sullivan
• The Other One, by Jiffy Kate
• The Intuitive Eating Workbook, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch
• The Goblin Child, by Michael Forester

In case you were wondering: yes, that is quite a lot of books and yes, I am a bit overwhelmed as I've fallen desperately behind on my reading list! 

I'm always on the hunt for affordable (or even free) books to read while I'm between books. If you're like me and you can read a book in a day easily, then you can end up spending a lot of money on books--or just going without, which isn't the ideal situation! I can't afford to buy 53 books in 3 months, that's for sure. Here are my favorite ways to get affordable, or even free, books. 

1. The Library, of course (or library loan programs!)

If you use an ereader (like me) and have a library card (which I don't because I live outside city limits), you can often borrow library ebooks for free through your library's website. If you need help, you can ask a librarian and they can explain it all. (Also, ask for their recommendations because librarians have the best taste in books!)  

2. NetGalley

NetGalley is a website where you can sign up and receive ebooks (via your Kindle or just as a PDF download) to read in exchange for a review. You can review them on NetGalley, on your blog, or on Goodreads (preferably all three). Since signing up a few weeks ago, I've read tons of books and written lots of reviews; some of them are great, some of them are not-so-great, but it's a good opportunities for those looking to start reviewing. Or who just love to read and review books! 

3. Amazon Prime Reading

If you have Amazon Prime, they now have a program called Prime Reading, where you can download books for free to read. I love this program because I've found some new authors that I love (like Emma Prince) and fully plan to buy all their books! 

4. Kindle Unlimited

If you don't have Amazon Prime, but do have a Kindle reader, I highly recommend Kindle Unlimited. I've read some amazing series through Kindle Unlimited. It's $10.99 per month and you can borrow up to 10 books at a time. Kindle Unlimited has helped me discover some books that I absolutely love, as well as some authors that I cannot get enough of. When I find a book I like, I always buy the next book in the series, even if it's on Kindle Unlimited. 

My New Year's Resolutions

I told myself, about a month ago, that I wouldn't be setting any New Year's Resolutions. 

However, as January 1 gets closer and closer, I find myself getting that familiar feeling. I want to set goals. I want to try to do things that are tangible and measurable. 

Sometimes, I think people get caught up in the word "resolution." All resolution means is "the firm decision to do or not do something." It doesn't mean to make a vast, sweeping change to your life. It doesn't mean anything different than a goal or a desire. 

So, my advice to others is: set the same goals for yourself for 2017 that you would for a month, or a week, or whatever. Then build on them. 

These are my goals for 2017. 

1. Write 600,000 words.

This is my biggest goal. I want to write 600,000 words in 2017--and my blog posts, my daily writing at work, and my journals don't count. I want to write 600,000 creative words. Words that are for me, as a writer. This divvies up to 50,000 words a month. A NaNoWriMo every month. 

Also included in this will be editing & rewriting my NaNoWriMo novel--and potentially previous years NaNoWriMo novels. 

2. Support more bloggers & writers. 

My newsletter is a big part of that. I want to give a platform to other creatives who are just doing what they do: running Esty shops, writing, creating content, whatever. 

3. Be brave & stand up for myself more. 

I had an experience two weeks ago where I felt more empowered than ever to stand up for myself and take charge. It was terrifying, but exhilarating. I loved every second of it. Usually, I'm the type of person who rolls over, who apologizes, who lets other people make the decisions. But not anymore. I'm done. I'm over it! 

4. Practice intuitive eating. 

The best thing I did for myself in 2016 was starting to listen to Food Psych, a podcast about eating disorders and intuitive eating. It really, truly changed my life. If you're a podcast listening, it's a must-hear, especially if you've ever had issues surrounding food, anxiety, and body image. Since then, I've been tiptoeing around intuitive eating, trying to implement it but still preoccupied with using it purely to lose weight; in 2017, I want to take bigger steps towards freeing myself from restrictive eating and embracing food.