How to Make Your Summer Better (Even if You Hate Summer)

I know, I know. Everyone is supposed to love summer. It's sunny! It's warm! There are barbecues and pool parties and everything! Sorry, I'm not buying it. When was the last time I was invited to a pool party? That's right--never, because I don't live in an area where in-ground pools are common.

Summer is classified as "fine" in my book. I don't like it, but I don't really hate it. It's nice that my husband gets the summer off; it's nice that the weather is nicer and we can go outside (minus the horde of horrible bugs that plagues us). Those things are nice. 

That being said, summer can be better. I recently posted a thread of ways to make your summer better, right now. This thread was for if you have anxiety, if you feel bored, if you feel like you just aren't doing the right "summer things." 

When I was younger, I definitely always felt like I was "wasting" my summers. (Looking back, I was. So many summers off!) Summers are about living it up, right? And what do you do if you hate summer and you feel insecure about your hatred of summer? Here's the original thread if you want to check it out. However, it can broken down to three key steps. 

1. Wear your sunscreen. 

Do you feel like I harp on about this? It's because it's serious. On a podcast I listen to (All Killa, No Filla, if you're interested), one of the hosts said she goes tanning once a year; her doctor told her, straight up, she's giving herself cancer. And that's the truth: laying out; getting sunburned without worrying about it; and getting sun damage is giving yourself cancer. Don't do it! Also, sunburns hurt. Here are my tips for protecting that beautiful epidermis of yours. 

2. Wear what you want.  

Whatever! Going to a pool party (you lucky dog, you)? Wear the bikini. Feeling stressed about it? Does the thought of putting on that bikini make you feel stressed? Then don't. Don't wear the bikini. Wear a cute maxi dress instead. Or your favorite leggings. Or sweatpants! Wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident. If anyone asks, just say, "It's really none of your business."

3. Eat what you want.

So you took my advice on Twitter and went on a spontaneous trip. You find yourself staring down a slice of pizza, or a massive ice cream cone. You think about those goals you set for yourself: eating less dairy; making healthier choices. Your mouth is watering just looking at the ice cream. 

Girl, do it. Eat the ice cream. Eat the pizza. Eat a big, beautiful healthy salad tomorrow. Enjoy a smoothie in the morning. Chow down on nachos when offered. Life is too short to spend it trying to dictate what you enjoy every moment of the day. Moderation is important. 

10 Years Later: High School

A few weeks ago, in my newsletter, I wrote about how my 10 year high school reunion was coming up. Can you believe that? I find it hard to believe that I graduated 10 years ago--and of course, that means I graduated from college 6 years ago. 

I feel very old saying, "I blinked and it was gone." In many ways, I still feel very young. But some days, like when my knees hurt or I'm so tired I let my son watch his Elmo DVD for the fifth time and lie on the couch, I feel positively ancient. 

This all got me thinking though: what really has changed about me in those 10 years? 

• I went blonde. 
• I got a pixie cut. 
• I dyed my hair red about 100 times. 
• I grew my hair out. 
• I cut it short again. Repeat 4 times. 
• I gained weight. 
• I lost weight. 
• I gained weight again. 
• I started a fashion blog. 
• I quit my fashion blog. 
• I started a lifestyle blog. 
• I quit that lifestyle blog. 
• I started this blog. 
• I started Twitter. 
• I joined Instagram. 
• Pinterest happened. 
• I started dating Danny. 
• I got engaged to Danny. 
• I married Danny. 
• I had a baby. 
• I got a bunch of jobs. 
• I quit a bunch of jobs. 
• I did way more internships that I ever thought would be necessary. 
• I quit a lot of internships, too. 
• I worked a lot of early mornings in coffee shops. 
• I spent hours and hours and hours reading about blogging. 
• I got a job I love. 
• I made a lot of friends through blogging. 
• Made a lot of creepy enemies too! 

And that's all I can think of just off the top of my head. And that's just the things I've done. 

It's hard to always make a list of the ways I've changed over the years. I sometimes feel like I am still that 18-year-old girl, but I also know that she and I are two very different people. I think she'd be really disappointed by where I am--and also a little relieved that I'm not an absolute failure. I'd love to tell her how great the next 5 years will be for her, and really, that makes up for the 3 years that follow that time span ("the bad times"). I wish I could tell my high school self that things will be ok, I don't need to develop the Type A personality I currently have, and that it's ok to relax, and have fun, and you don't have to work 100% of the time all the time. 

What have you learned since graduating high school? 

Guest Post: 26 Is Still Mid-20's, Right?

I'm very excited about this guest post. I'd like to introduce you all to my sister-in-law, Amy: she is one of the kindest, most positive people I know, alongside being incredibly motivated and ambitious. I hope you all enjoy this guest post! 

I’m a Gemini (with Aries rising). It has never been up for debate. I have been called a “cusp” baby, but let’s be real, Cancers are too moody and introspective for me to truly relate. I meet all the Gemini stereotypes: I am outgoing, can come off a little immature, and make friends easily. I enjoy reading my horoscope every week, and married an Aquarius, my “most compatible sign.” All this to say, my birthday is coming up.

I’m one of “those” people when it comes to birthdays. I send cards to all my family and friends, I write hysterical birthday texts, and my Instagram is full of birthday wishes. I love singing off key, I love watching gifts get opened, I love EVERYTHING about birthdays. I even love my own birthday and I have a yearlong countdown to June 19. This year though... this year is different. This year, I am suddenly aware of my age, and I must say, I have some weird feelings about turning 26.

I can honestly say that I’m not afraid of aging. I am looking forward to being like 35 and finally feeling like I have my shit together. This year, it isn’t about the age, or realizing my mortality, as with most women, my insecurity is about my mom.

26 was my mom’s biggest year. When she was 26, my mom found out she was pregnant, learned her mother’s stage IV cancer had returned, lost her mom, and then had a baby 6 weeks later. 26 is a looming age, one of those ages I always thought was far away. To be 26, to be old enough to have a child and recover from losing your mom, a person would have to be mature, would have to be aware, would have to have a full handle on the world and on their life. I don’t, and I’m starting to realize, neither did my mom.

My mom wasn’t a full adult, she wasn’t “ready,” she hadn’t gleaned all she needed from her mom when she was 26. She was still finding her way in the world, she was buying her first new car, she was starting her career and marriage, she was just like me. I love being compared to my mom, I love when people tell me we look alike, that we talk the same, and that we have the same interests. I love our similarities, but I really hope that we don’t share the cursed year of 26.

In addition to the shred of looming dread, I really am looking forward to this year. I have started my career, and I’m good at it. I just bought a new car, I can easily afford my rent and monthly expenses for the first time since college, I am getting the hang of this whole being married thing, and I have a sense of confidence that I have not experienced before, and I can’t wait to continue to grow. I have set some personal goals for the year, a few professional ones, and am excited to start tackling them. 26 will be a great year, a year I have always known was coming, and I’m ready for it.  

About Amy

I’m Amy, Michelle’s Chaco wearing, BB Cream and brown mascara using sister-in-law. I love Portland, higher education, and smart boss ladies, specifically Hillary Clinton. You can find me on the internet as @amynelmson.

Why I Got Rid of All My Notebooks

I've been receiving notebooks as gifts for as long as I can remember. Well, as long as I was telling people I wanted to be a writer. Notebooks are easy gifts: they can be beautiful, they can be practical, and it's an easy writing accessory that everyone understands. 

As someone who has kept a journal my entire life, these notebook gifts have been a blessing, honestly. I've rarely had to buy my own journals, especially if someone goes above-and-beyond and gives me a Moleskine for Christmas. However, it also has meant that I've always had a surplus of notebooks. 

In fact, this surplus started to get really embarrassing when I was pregnant. I unearthed a box of blank notebooks while getting organized and cleaning out Forrest's room. I had a stack of empty notebooks on my desk, on the bookshelf in my office, in a drawer under my desk... I had notebooks. I had notebooks upon notebooks. I had more notebooks than I would ever use in my life. Why? Because I cannot hand write fiction, or poetry, or anything. The only thing I use notebooks for is journaling. And a girl can only journal so much. 

It was time to bite the bullet. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could quietly sit with a notebook and write a story. At least get out the bare bones of it. I like journaling by hand and I like taking notes; I like writing out my grocery lists and to do lists. But trying to describe something, to actually write, by hand is a huge challenge for me. I know myself well enough now to know that it's just never going to happen. That's fine! 

So I had to get rid of all those notebooks. 

Some of them were beautiful, and expensive. Some of them I had bought myself, sure that the "right notebook" would spur my creativity. Some were cheap ones I'd bought in the last days of School Supply sales. Some were gifts. Some were party favors, or I received free from work. 

They all went. Into a box, that went to Goodwill, that hopefully sold them to someone who needed them, who can actually write in a notebook. It felt weird to let go of them, to let go of the idea of the kind of person I thought I could try to be. 

How to Pitch a Story

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I was recently published on IFB. I made it one of my goals in February to start pitching stories to larger publications and getting published more and more. They published my article on writing a content marketing plan for your blog. I have a few pieces at a few other websites that will go live in March. 

If you've ever had a genius idea for a post that just didn't really, well, fit with your blog, you might have thought that meant that the idea should just... go away. Wrong! Pitch that story to a larger website, like IFB or HelloGiggles. Not sure how to go about it? Here are some steps. 

1. Review the websites contributor policy. 

Most larger blogs that accept submissions have a policy for contributors. It's usually in the footer links of the website. This is HelloGiggles, as an example. This policy gives you instructions of how to submit a pitch, what they need, and what they want from any submissions. 

2. Have an idea. 

It's easy to just send out a bunch of emails saying, "Hey, I want to write something!" But before you hit send, make sure you're sending an actual, concrete idea. Even better, have part of an article written before you do anything. 

3. Write the email. 

Make sure that the subject line meets standards. (As an example, Rookie accepts submissions, but you have to use the correct subject line. Again, read those policies!) Introduce yourself and then write a brief paragraph outlining your idea. Why do you think it would be good for that website? How would it help readers? Be sure to include a link to your blog and any writing samples you have available. Double (and maybe triple) check your email for mistakes before you hit send. 

4. Play the waiting game. 

Waiting to hear back is the hardest part. I had the quickest turn around from IFB, but for others, it can take weeks. 

5. Get published... or not. 

Boom! Your pitch gets accepted. What now? Time to write! Sit down and write the post you promised. Send it in the format they asked for (most publications are OK with Word doc format). Make sure to include a brief bio at the end! And again, play the waiting game. They'll usually let you know of an approximate publish date. 

But wait, what if they pass on the pitch? Well, that sucks. But don't take it too hard. Move on and send the pitch somewhere else. So it wasn't right for one website... maybe there is another one it would be perfect for. Do some research and find it a home. A professor in college always said that if she ever got a rejection letter, she immediately submitted either the same piece or another piece to a different magazine because it kept the momentum going. No matter what: keep the momentum going! 

How to Get Started On Wattpad

What is Wattpad? 

Wattpad is a website where you can post short stories and novels, as well as read and review stories of all kinds. 

Initially, I was very hesitant to get started on Wattpad. I'm naturally suspicious of posting my creative writing anywhere online--ever since my Livejournal days when people would steal my fan fiction and repost it as theirs, I have a major paranoia about having my hard work stolen! 

However, once I started posting on Wattpad, I really started to enjoy it. Plus, it's always fun to have new outlets for reading. I've read so many great stories on Wattpad--some short and some long--and it's so much fun. 

Why Wattpad? 

If you're a new writer (my most recent newsletter was about getting started writing if you've never done it before), it can be overwhelming to think of having someone else read what you've written. 

Socially, we tend to have this notion that if someone shows us their art, we know they can get better. We really love to watch artists grow as they paint or sculpt or whatever. Conversely, when it comes to writing, it's very difficult to be a starting writer. People have very strict ideas of what is good and bad. I have seen some halfway decent fan fiction get absolutely torn apart due to things that can be easily fixed with grammatical knowledge and formatting. But because we have this idea that you're either a great writer from the start or a bad one, people tend to give up--or, they tend to react badly to any criticism whatsoever, and so they never improve. 

Wattpad is a great way to get around that fear. When it comes to feedback, sometimes it's best to start about amateurs and then, slowly, through writing communities, work on getting better. 

Getting Start on Wattpad

I wanted to post a few tips for getting started on Wattpad. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you first register--there are so many stories, so many tags, so many new things to learn. Here are some tips: 

1. Use Canva to make your covers. 

Canva actually has pre-made templates for Wattpad covers. How convenient! One of the most daunting things of uploading your first story is that cover, right? It's the first thing people will judge. I also use Unsplash for stock photos for covers. 

2. Learn how the tags work. 

The tag system on Wattpad uses hashtags--much like Twitter or Tumblr--but in a completely different way. Some tags are very general (like #boy) and some tags are very specific (like #high-school). Search through the stories and learn how tags work, so you can better tag your stories & find readers! 

3. Join challenges.

Both of my stories currently on Wattpad were written as part of challenges! Challenges are a great way to just get writing, regardless of what ends up happening. (Full disclosure, I don't love either of the stories I have on Wattpad, but I'm working on them!) The challenges on Wattpad can give you great ideas of what to read and what to write. 

Want to read my Wattpad stories? Click here.  

How to Start a Gratitude Journal

I've been keeping journals since I was about 14 or 15, consistently. I write down just about every aspect of my life, which will leave the future a very boring record of one girl who really liked staying at home. However, I journal mostly for my benefit--not really anyone else's! This is really the perfect way to approach journaling, because it removes the stress of creating some kind of "record" for anyone other than yourself. 

Gratitude journaling is something that has emerged, quite recently, as a way to journal through anxiety and depression. Basically, in a gratitude journal, you write the things you're thankful for. It's a pretty easy concept on paper. But getting started (especially if you're struggling with anxiety or depression) can be overwhelming. 

Here are some tips and resources for getting started.

1. Pick a journal you like. 

I have tons of notebooks lying around my house. Some I use whenever I need a sheet of paper--to make a grocery list or write down a reminder. Some I am saving for a very specific purpose. (I have a London journal that I've been hoarding since 2011. Someday!) What I'm saying is: don't just use any notebook you have lying around. Pick a notebook you really want to use. Something pretty. Or something utilitarian (if that's your style). A journal with your favorite kind of paper. And remember, use your favorite pens (or whatever pen, again, if that's your style). If you're persnickety about these things, don't work against them. 

2. Find some prompts. 

When I first started gratitude journaling, I would end my usual journal entries with 5 things I was thankful for or 5 things I enjoyed that day (even if it was a crappy day). Overtime, it got more and more difficult because I found myself listing the same few things every day. Recently, I copied my friend Charlotte's gratitude journal format (that she borrowed from someone else and posted on her Instagram!) to help me get restarted. Alternatively, you can find tons of gratitude journal prompts on Pinterest. You can follow my Pinterest board on journaling here, complete with tons of prompts and inspiration. 

3. Make it part of your routine. 

Journaling works best, for me, when I do it every evening. Some people prefer journaling in the morning--it just really depends on your style! There is something alluring about waking up in the morning and drinking your morning coffee while you journal. However, life with a toddler means that does not happen in my world, but if it's possible in yours, go for it. Make filling in your gratitude journal part of your routine. 

4. Write as little or as much as you want. 

If you work best writing lists, go for it. If you want to write pages and pages... that's fine too! Lots of gratitude journal lists suggest one thing or the other--I suspect in the belief that you might run out of steam or only do superficial journaling if you go either way. However, for me, it's entirely personal; sometimes, I want to write a lot. Sometimes, I'm just going to write a list. 

5. Don't force it. 

Sometimes, I just can't think of anything I'm grateful for besides the fact that I woke up and I get to go to sleep! That's kind of a bummer, right? Unfortunately, it's the truth. However, I find it easier if I don't force it. Some days, I just cannot think of anything I want to write down and that's fine. Maybe the next day, I'll think, "Gosh, I'm in a better mood now and I can see I should have written this." If I force myself, I'm lulling myself into a false sense of "This is fine. It's all fine." If you can't think of anything to write, it's really, totally ok to not write anything. Or to write, "I'm drawing a blank. I hope I feel better tomorrow." 

Do you gratitude journal? Share with me on Twitter! I want to see what your process looks like for an upcoming newsletter! 

5 Tips for Writing Every Day

Writing every day doesn't really seem like a challenge, does it? Not until you actually make a goal to sit down and do it. 

For 2017, I set a goal to write 600,000 words in a year. That's a lot of words. And it requires me to basically write one NaNoWriMo every month. Looking at it that way, it's incredibly overwhelming. Even breaking it down into 10,000 word short stories, I still have to write five of them. 

Why did I do this to myself again?

However, as of Saturday, I am at 22,000 words for January. That's considerably more than I thought I would have by now, thanks to rewriting and editing portions of short stories to post on Wattpad. 

I thought I'd share what has worked for me to help me get to writing every day (or, at least a few days a week). 

1. Set a routine. 

The most important thing for writing, for me, is to have a routine. As an example, I write most of my blog posts on Saturday and Sunday mornings; if I don't have my week scheduled out by then, most likely, it's not going to happen. (Prime example, this post was supposed to go out last Friday.) I tend to write more in the evenings as well--especially after 6 or 7pm. (This may be because that's when my son goes to bed!) 

2. Make yourself accountable. 

Accountability is a big thing. If you want to write 1,000 words a day, you need to hold yourself to it: no procrastinating, no getting out of it. Be accountable for how much you're writing and notice the patterns that form when you decide not to. 

That all being said, accountability means more than just making yourself write. It means being kind to yourself. Having a hard time? Not enjoying the story you're writing? Then, why do it? Seriously. If you hate it, fix it. If you need to take a day off, take a day off--but be ready to jump right back into it. 

3. If you don't feel like writing, editing is a good fall back option. 

There have been a few days (probably half of January, actually) where I just didn't want to write. So I worked on editing and rewriting portions of my NaNoWriMo novel! Writing from scratch is a mentally exhausting activity. So when in doubt, I work on editing something I've been working on for a while; it still accomplishes the task of "writing," but without the mental fatigue. 

4. Start as many works as you need to. 

Right now, I have about five short stories I'm working on. That seems like a lot, right? But I find that I need variety when it comes to writing. Also, I always get a really good idea once I'm running out of mental steam for what I'm working on. (Sort of like during NaNoWriMo, I always get about 100 better ideas for novels...) I let myself start a new story--or a new outline, if that's what I want to do--in the middle of working on something else, if only for the fact that it helps me actually get to writing. 

5. Tell your friends. 

Tell your friends, or your family, or your dog, that you want to write more. Ask them to talk to you about it. If you don't have friends or family that you want to talk to about writing (trust me, I understand), tell Twitter! Or Instagram! Writing communities on social media can be some of the most supportive, amazing communities out there. Community support will help you achieve your goal, because nothing is better than support.