I used to think I needed to be very good at everything -- and yet, only dedicate myself to one thing.
I really thought I was most valuable if I dedicated myself whole-heartedly to one passion. If I could make that work, I would be happy, I was sure.
By the time I was halfway through college, however, I realized there was no way I could dedicate myself to one thing for the rest of my life. It just wasn't possible.
I want to say something braggy here, such as, I was just good at too many things, but that isn't true. The fact is: I'm flighty. I get obsessed very easily -- and fall out of obsessions very easily too. I'm a trivia based person. I can remember random facts better than I can remember anything else.
I would get frustrated with myself when I couldn't focus on something wholeheartedly. I would get frustrated when I just started to get good at something and lose interest.
It took me a long time to realize that the reason I enjoyed writing so much was because it allowed me to be interested in everything.
I could learn about history, nail art, music history, and the life cycle of stars all in one day -- and informed my writing more than anything else. You can't write without research. And research is, honestly, what I love the most because I love immersing myself in a variety of topics for a short amount of time.
Finding my path took a long time. I felt like I could never fully indulge in my hobbies -- like fashion or nails or fandom -- because I was too busy trying to be serious about one thing.
I love being a writer because in one day, I can research anything that sparks my interest. I don't have to feel like I'm only able to learn about certain things or be passionate certain things.