3 Ways Pregnancy Changes Your Body

I had heard the horror stories, trust me. I knew what pregnancy would do to my body. It’s impossible to go through a nearly 40 week process where one of your organs multiplies to 500 times its normal size (and effectively moves everything in your body to a new position), where you grow an entirely new organ as well as a very small human being, brain and all, without feeling some shock waves. 

But I was not entirely prepared for the scope and breadth of just how my body would change. What am I talking about? Well, let’s address 3 major changes that literally no one told me about. 

1. I became allergic to contacts. 

At a certain point in pregnancy, you have so much extra fluid that your vision can become blurry. It’s incredibly common. What else is common? Becoming allergic to contacts after you give birth. Thanks, Forrest! 

I’ve worn contacts since I was 14. I almost never wore my glasses out in public. And yet, after I had Forrest, every time I put in my contacts, my eyes burned, my vision blurred, and I felt generally miserable. After a few eye doctor visits, I found out the truth: my eyes were rejecting contacts. It’s all glasses all the time for me now. 

2. Some pregnancy symptoms become semi-permanent.

I developed really severe carpal tunnel when I was pregnant. This is because, again, you have so much extra fluid in your body that it puts pressure on all of your joints (this is also why your ankles and knees and hips and just about everything else hurts). My carpal tunnel was so bad towards the end of my pregnancy that my hands would go numb and I wouldn’t be able to move them until I held them up for several minutes. Cool!

For about 8 months after I had Forrest, I had pretty several wrist pain. I couldn’t pick up anything heavy with my left hand or put any pressure on that wrist. It was the worst when it came to my carpal tunnel, so it made sense. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized I also now have a gigantic bone spur on my left wrist; it is so sharp you can see it through the skin. Cool! I also have near permanent carpal tunnel; some mornings, my left hand is still numb. 

3. Everything you thought you knew about your cycle is now wrong. 

So, I bet you thought that once you were 28 and a mom, you’d have the whole menstrual cycle thing down pat. Well, guess what? WRONG. Pregnancy does this super fun thing to your body where it basically changes everything you ever thought you knew about your cycle. Never used to get cramps? Surprise! Cramp town! Used to be incredibly regular? Psych! Never had cravings? Boom, welcome to chocolate-covered-pretzel-town! You’ll look back in fondness at those pre-pregnancy days of having at least a moderate understanding of your cycle. For the lucky few, maybe things haven’t changed that much. For the rest of us, wave goodbye. 

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Hey! This isn’t to say that everything about pregnancy is bad. All these things happen—the terrible skin, the cowboy walk (yikes), the saggy boobs—but you also get a baby. And that’s pretty great.

4 Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day at Home

Danny and I are not what I would call date people. If we can stay home, we will choose staying home every time. (It really doesn’t help that our toddler has a strict 5:30pm bedtime!) 

We have consistently celebrated Valentine’s Day at home—if at all. I wanted to share a few ways you can celebrate at home, either with your partner or on your own. 

1. Make dinner together (or make your favorite dinner) 

Listen, cooking can be fun. Really! Choose something fun to make that you’ve never done before or make your absolute favorite. Light some candles; play your favorite music or podcast; drink wine; and most importantly, have fun. 

2. Play a game

Danny and I love to play video games together. I have only a middling interest in most video games, but every once and I while, we will play where we trade off every 10 minutes or so. It’s so much fun! If you aren’t a fan of traditional Valentine’s Day activities, playing a video game together (or even a good ol’ fashioned board game) is a way to bond and have fun. 

3. Have some alone time. 

Ok, it’s Valentine’s Day. But also, it’s just any other day. If you’re flying solo this year, do some self-care: take a bubble bath, deep clean your kitchen until it is sparkling, or read your favorite book. Even if you’re not on your own this year, take some time for yourself: let your partner do what makes him or her happy and treat yourself to something fun. Personally, I’ll most likely take a bubble bath and read by myself in bed on Valentine’s Day. Because that’s what I wanna do. 

4. Watch your favorite movie. 

This is such an obvious one. But here’s something fun: buy your absolute favorite snacks (mega butter popcorn and M&Ms!?), rent your favorite movie (or, uh, grab it off a shelf), and settle onto the couch. Don’t move until the snacks are gone and the movie is over. Don’t touch your phone for that 2 hours. How relaxing is that!? 

How to Test Out Festival Style Trends as a Grown Up*

I know it’s only February, but it’s that time of year where we all (or maybe just me?) start dreaming of Spring and Summer. And every year, like clockwork, we all start getting emails about festival trends. 

If you’re like me (that is, over 25, working a full time job, and perhaps even taking care of a very small human), you feel a little left behind by all the denim cutoffs and crop tops. I’m not 18 anymore; are these festival trends something I can pull off—or even just try? 

It’s a struggle, for sure. But as we’re dreaming of warmer weather, I got the opportunity to poke around Splash’s website to check out their latest collection. I wanted to share a few pieces that definitely fit that festival trend, but are a little easier to wear. 

(Note: Yes, this is a sponsored post. However, all ideas & writing is my own. For more information, please see my disclosure policy!) 

1. Mix up your classic sweater & jeans. 

I am totally obsessed with these Scallywag jeans from Birds of Paradise. That pretty embroidery combined with a high waist and roll up cuffs? Perfect for those chillier spring days, especially topped with this Yacht sweater from Lovers + Friends. You’ll get that festival vibe without having to go whole hog for denim cuff offs and midriff exposure. 

2. Try it at work. 

“Uh, I’m pretty sure festival trends can never be work appropriate.” Wrong! Ok, maybe right—it depends on what kind of office you work in. But this Elsa shirt in Olive from Stillwater would look great with skinny jeans or a pencil skirt in the office. Add these Libby heels in Black from Raye and you’ve got a festival-focused office outfit.

3. Try off-the-shoulder dresses. 

Off-the-shoulder dresses are one of the biggest trends of the last few years. (Remember when every single fashion blogger was wearing that same chambray, off-the-shoulder dress?) They’re super summery and very cute—plus they give a very late-1970s, festival vibe. I love these two dresses from Faithfull the Brand. The Milos dress in Beshka Print would look cute paired with some simple gladiator sandals and a wide-brimmed hat. The Mali dress in Amber Stripe is super similar, except that it has a really subtle stripe pattern (which means it can be paired with just about anything!) Add some cute boots (like these Free People ones) for a very retro vibe or some cute sunglasses and gold sandals for a simple look. 

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Want more inspiration? Be sure to check out Splash! 

My February Goals

Tell me I'm not alone: it felt like January went on forever, right? Every week, I thought, next week has to be the last week of January. We're still not done yet! Longest. Month. Ever. This is the January Slump in full effect. 

Since January is almost over, I wanted to share my February goals with you. As you probably remember, when it comes to setting goals, I made myself promise to set baby step goals: I can't do everything at once. 

How did January go? Mid-way through January, I decided to reassess my "health" goals. I reset my FitBit goal to be 6,000 steps instead of 10,000. Why? Because I wasn't getting anywhere close to 10,000 steps a day, it made me depressed, and it made it harder to get motivated. As time passes, I'll increase my step goal accordingly. 

My other goals (like letting myself relax and working on blog promotion) went really well. I set up G Suite for my blog (uh, three years after the fact?) so now you can email me at michelle@writingbetweenpauses.com. Fancy, right? I'm also 8% completed with my Goodreads 2017 goal. So that's exciting! I've also written over 30,000 words in January, not including work and blog posts. That's huge! 

OK, enough checking in! Here are my goals for February. 

1. Promote more bloggers on social media. I want to start sharing 3-4 articles by other bloggers on Twitter. Why? It's kind! It helps them! I love the blogging community and contributing to a positive atmosphere is more important than anything else. 
2. Start taking 1 day off a month to deep clean my house. In December, I took a week off to clean my house and it was amazing. I realized yesterday that I would feel a lot better if I took the time, without Forrest following me around, to deep clean my house one day a month. 
3. Continue going walking in the afternoons. Speaking of FitBit step goals, for the past week, I've taken Forrest walking every afternoon, if the weather permitted. Or we walked up and down the driveway with him in the Ergo. This helped me meet my reduced step count goal every single day. I want to keep it up because I feel better about myself when I hit this goal and can take Forrest somewhere fun. 

What are your goals for February? 

5 Outfits for Late Winter Inspiration

We're at that time of the year where, if you're like me, you've been cycling through the same few tops and jeans. I have 4 outfits that I wear in rotation. That's boring! But as the winter wears on, it's hard to feel inspired, especially if you're saving your money (like I am!) for Spring. 

I thought I'd share some Polyvore sets to help us all be a little bit more inspired with our late Winter style. I went with sets that included items we all probably have (especially if you, like me, are a minor hoarder that has saved multiple years worth of trends). Here we go! 

1. Go Full Christmas

Casual: Pom Pom Beanies by beebeely-look featuring key chain rings

Once Christmas passes, I tend to set aside my fair isle sweaters and beanie hats. I don't know why! I always feel like the time for them is over. But this set is really making me question that decision! A cozy fair isle paired with coordinated beanie & scarf and topped with your usual winter coat is an easy, cute outfit. Totally Instagram worthy, to be honest. 

2. Change the Color Palette

Casual outfit by asia-12 featuring ray ban sunglasses

Have you been wearing black for four weeks straight? Listen, me too. That's probably why I'm loving this outfit. I really want a top in this dark, cognac color now! Paired with an olive, military jacket (I am in the firm belief that everyone owns one--mine, embarrassingly, is maternity!) and some leopard print (!!) booties... it's an almost-neutral outfit that just brightens up the late winter, right? 

3. Pretend You're French

Stripes by mycherryblossom featuring a parker fountain pen

The minute I saw this outfit, I swooned a little. That top! That skirt! Add some black tights and maybe replace the heels with your trustiest knee high boots, top with a coat... it's late Winter, but it's not boring. You can also pretend that you're walking through Paris, ala Carrie Bradshaw, and feel very fancy while doing it. 

4. Treat Yourself to Something Lovely

How to mix flowers and stripes by karineminzonwilson featuring Anastasia Beverly Hills

A striped dress is a total staple. A floral print coat? Um, not so much. But let's be real... it's gorgeous. And it's perfect alongside a striped dress, or plain top and jeans. I know I said these outfits only included items most people would have anyway... well, that was a teeny tiny lie. I want to live the life of someone who just happens to have an extremely fashionable coat lying around! 

In fairness, a striped dress paired with a cardigan and a floral print scarf will be just as cute--and just springy enough to get us through February without losing our minds. 

5. Redo Your Denim

Casual femme by blueyed featuring grey suede boots

Nothing--I repeat, nothing--is as classic as a denim jacket. I love this outfit: the unique denim jacket, the gray jeans, the flowy, pretty top, the suede booties. Totally gorgeous, top to bottom. I don't own a denim jacket like that, but I do own a pair of gray jeans; I do own a floaty top; and I do have some boots that fit the bill. Why did I never think to put them all together before? Rookie move! 

Well, are you feeling inspired? What's getting you through this long, late Winter days? 

How to Get Started On Wattpad

What is Wattpad? 

Wattpad is a website where you can post short stories and novels, as well as read and review stories of all kinds. 

Initially, I was very hesitant to get started on Wattpad. I'm naturally suspicious of posting my creative writing anywhere online--ever since my Livejournal days when people would steal my fan fiction and repost it as theirs, I have a major paranoia about having my hard work stolen! 

However, once I started posting on Wattpad, I really started to enjoy it. Plus, it's always fun to have new outlets for reading. I've read so many great stories on Wattpad--some short and some long--and it's so much fun. 

Why Wattpad? 

If you're a new writer (my most recent newsletter was about getting started writing if you've never done it before), it can be overwhelming to think of having someone else read what you've written. 

Socially, we tend to have this notion that if someone shows us their art, we know they can get better. We really love to watch artists grow as they paint or sculpt or whatever. Conversely, when it comes to writing, it's very difficult to be a starting writer. People have very strict ideas of what is good and bad. I have seen some halfway decent fan fiction get absolutely torn apart due to things that can be easily fixed with grammatical knowledge and formatting. But because we have this idea that you're either a great writer from the start or a bad one, people tend to give up--or, they tend to react badly to any criticism whatsoever, and so they never improve. 

Wattpad is a great way to get around that fear. When it comes to feedback, sometimes it's best to start about amateurs and then, slowly, through writing communities, work on getting better. 

Getting Start on Wattpad

I wanted to post a few tips for getting started on Wattpad. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you first register--there are so many stories, so many tags, so many new things to learn. Here are some tips: 

1. Use Canva to make your covers. 

Canva actually has pre-made templates for Wattpad covers. How convenient! One of the most daunting things of uploading your first story is that cover, right? It's the first thing people will judge. I also use Unsplash for stock photos for covers. 

2. Learn how the tags work. 

The tag system on Wattpad uses hashtags--much like Twitter or Tumblr--but in a completely different way. Some tags are very general (like #boy) and some tags are very specific (like #high-school). Search through the stories and learn how tags work, so you can better tag your stories & find readers! 

3. Join challenges.

Both of my stories currently on Wattpad were written as part of challenges! Challenges are a great way to just get writing, regardless of what ends up happening. (Full disclosure, I don't love either of the stories I have on Wattpad, but I'm working on them!) The challenges on Wattpad can give you great ideas of what to read and what to write. 

Want to read my Wattpad stories? Click here.  

How to Start a Gratitude Journal

I've been keeping journals since I was about 14 or 15, consistently. I write down just about every aspect of my life, which will leave the future a very boring record of one girl who really liked staying at home. However, I journal mostly for my benefit--not really anyone else's! This is really the perfect way to approach journaling, because it removes the stress of creating some kind of "record" for anyone other than yourself. 

Gratitude journaling is something that has emerged, quite recently, as a way to journal through anxiety and depression. Basically, in a gratitude journal, you write the things you're thankful for. It's a pretty easy concept on paper. But getting started (especially if you're struggling with anxiety or depression) can be overwhelming. 

Here are some tips and resources for getting started.

1. Pick a journal you like. 

I have tons of notebooks lying around my house. Some I use whenever I need a sheet of paper--to make a grocery list or write down a reminder. Some I am saving for a very specific purpose. (I have a London journal that I've been hoarding since 2011. Someday!) What I'm saying is: don't just use any notebook you have lying around. Pick a notebook you really want to use. Something pretty. Or something utilitarian (if that's your style). A journal with your favorite kind of paper. And remember, use your favorite pens (or whatever pen, again, if that's your style). If you're persnickety about these things, don't work against them. 

2. Find some prompts. 

When I first started gratitude journaling, I would end my usual journal entries with 5 things I was thankful for or 5 things I enjoyed that day (even if it was a crappy day). Overtime, it got more and more difficult because I found myself listing the same few things every day. Recently, I copied my friend Charlotte's gratitude journal format (that she borrowed from someone else and posted on her Instagram!) to help me get restarted. Alternatively, you can find tons of gratitude journal prompts on Pinterest. You can follow my Pinterest board on journaling here, complete with tons of prompts and inspiration. 

3. Make it part of your routine. 

Journaling works best, for me, when I do it every evening. Some people prefer journaling in the morning--it just really depends on your style! There is something alluring about waking up in the morning and drinking your morning coffee while you journal. However, life with a toddler means that does not happen in my world, but if it's possible in yours, go for it. Make filling in your gratitude journal part of your routine. 

4. Write as little or as much as you want. 

If you work best writing lists, go for it. If you want to write pages and pages... that's fine too! Lots of gratitude journal lists suggest one thing or the other--I suspect in the belief that you might run out of steam or only do superficial journaling if you go either way. However, for me, it's entirely personal; sometimes, I want to write a lot. Sometimes, I'm just going to write a list. 

5. Don't force it. 

Sometimes, I just can't think of anything I'm grateful for besides the fact that I woke up and I get to go to sleep! That's kind of a bummer, right? Unfortunately, it's the truth. However, I find it easier if I don't force it. Some days, I just cannot think of anything I want to write down and that's fine. Maybe the next day, I'll think, "Gosh, I'm in a better mood now and I can see I should have written this." If I force myself, I'm lulling myself into a false sense of "This is fine. It's all fine." If you can't think of anything to write, it's really, totally ok to not write anything. Or to write, "I'm drawing a blank. I hope I feel better tomorrow." 

Do you gratitude journal? Share with me on Twitter! I want to see what your process looks like for an upcoming newsletter! 

The One Goal I Gave Up in 2016

Last week, I wrote about all the things I stopped buying in 2016. Over the weekend, though, I started trying to remember what my resolutions or goals were last January. 

In January 2016, I was definitely fixated on continuing pumping. I remember desperately thinking that if I could keep pumping breastmilk for just three more months, I was at 6 months--and then it would be easy to make it to a year, right? Nope! By the time April rolled around, I was pumping less than 1/4 of an ounce every 2 hours, even through the night, totally just barely 6-10 ounces per day. I had to give up the ghost. So that's one goal (would you call a fixation a goal?) that didn't make it in 2016. 

But I don't remember actually ever sitting down and thinking about goals in 2016. I really wanted to take more time for myself. I really wanted to start working out again. I really wanted to eat healthier. 

But I didn't really set any hard and fast goals. At least as far as I remember. 

Then, my husband reminded me: one of my top goals in 2016 was to use my free time to be productive. 

At the time (January 2016), Forrest was 3 months old and barely sleeping. We were still in an exhausted haze. We didn't start sleep training until late June. Which meant that every day for the first 6 months of 2016, every moment of every day, I was holding Forrest--for naps, for play times, for bottles, everything. 

And yet, I wanted to be more productive. The house was a mess; we ran the dishwasher only when we were totally out of silverware; and I always felt just a bit on the edge of losing my mind in terms of how our house looked. 

Once Forrest started sleeping (which meant I had free time to clean, read books, write, whatever), I started beating myself up for doing things like lying on the couch reading or going to bed early. I got a precious 4 hours every evening to myself--I should spend it being productive... at least, that was my thought process. 

I gave up on forcing myself to be productive. 

Here's the thing: I love being someone who is very self-motivated to learn and try new things. I love the fact that my anxiety drives me to be working nearly every hour of every day. 

But sometimes, I need to be kind to myself too. When I'm feeling exhausted and just want to sit on the couch, that's ok. 

Since August, I've struggled with weeks-long tension headaches and migraines (a super fun combination). I try to still get things done regardless of how my head feels, but sometimes, it's just harder. The floors go without being vacuumed; the windows haven't been washed in months; the dishes pile up in the kitchen. And that's ok. It's ok. I'll get to it eventually. 

For me, forcing myself to be productive was a way of forcing myself to believe that if I don't do something right this moment, it will never happen. But the reality is: if you let things go (the floors, the dishes, the whatever), it's not the end of the world. They aren't going to be ruined. They'll live to see another day. 

And if I allow myself to relax and do what I need to do, I will see another day too. I don't always have to be productive.