The Basics of Giving Credit

A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through Instagram when I noticed something, well, weird. 

One of my favorite bookstagrams had posted a photo of a bath tub. I knew for a fact it wasn't a photo they took. Why? I'd spotted it earlier while scrolling through Tumblr. I went back to Tumblr and found the photo; I remembered it because I'd liked it, to save it to reblog later. I followed the source and ended up at the Instagram of an interior decorator. 

I was torn. What do you do when you find a photo someone has reposted without credit? I went back to the bookstagram and saw that she had put a photo credit for "Pinterest" on the photo. 

Pinterest. Good ol' Pinterest. 

Pinterest, in so many ways, has changed both the blogging world and the Internet as a whole. It changed the way we talk, the way we run and market blogs and businesses. And most importantly, it has muddied the waters of crediting photos. 

It feels so easy for photos to get lost now. To get pulled from Instagram onto Pinterest, to lose the original source, to get added to WeHeartIt, and Tumblr, and then loop back again. Posting and reposting, the source gets lost. When you reverse search the image on Google, it can take a lot of effort to find the original post--and the original credit. 

I always inwardly cringe when I see a photo credited to "Pinterest." Pinterest is where you find a cool photo, or something you want to share. But you need to share the original source--unless you do extensive searching and simply can't. You have to do the work though: you have to try and find that original source. That's on you, as a blogger, an influencer, whatever. You have to do that work. 

Here's the thing: I can think of a lot of times in the past where I've credited photos to "Pinterest." And I hate myself a little bit for it. But I grew up, I learned, I changed. It's pure laziness, that's all it is, as well as ignorance. Maybe people just don't realize they need to source the original photo. Maybe they think saying they got it from "Pinterest" is enough. 

In general, if you find a photo on Pinterest, it has a source. Follow the link. If it doesn't lead anywhere (I have definitely clicked links before and been taking to just the image URL, not a blog post or anything), try reverse searching on Google. You may also be able to find the original Pin on Pinterest by searching for it's exact title and description. (If you notice a pin that doesn't lead to a source, do your part and make sure to report it to Pinterest as well!) 

And here's the kicker: if you cannot find the source, do not use the photo. Being unable to credit it is not an excuse. Don't use it. 

You might wonder about stock photos. Depending on the permissions of stock photos, you do not always need to share the source. Although, if you repost stock photos on Instagram, I think it is most honest to mention the source in your caption. But that's just me. 

So, what happened with that bookstagram? I decided to send the interior decorator the photo had originally come from a private message, where I told her the name of the bookstagram and that she used her photo. In the end, they worked it out privately and, good on the bookstagrammer, she updated the caption. 

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5 Absolutely Affordable Spring Dresses

Is this annoying? When bloggers start posts with things like, "ooof, it's been a hard week"? And it's only... Wednesday? That's how I wanted to start this post. I'm typing up this post, that I've had ready, at 6:45 in the morning, while Forrest sleeps after waking up at 4am. Remember how I had the flu in March? I heavily suspect he now has the flu. (This is where, if we were speaking in person, I would groan loudly and without end.) 

Anyway, at least the little sick man is giving me a chance to type something up, even if it's... a shopping inspiration post. I always have conflicted feelings when posting things like this, because the emphasis on shopping in blogging makes me quite uncomfortable. That being said, however, we all need a little wardrobe update from time-to-time, especially after the long winter days. 

And you know what? Looking at dresses is fun. So here are 5 absolutely affordable (yes, affordable!) spring dresses. 

1. Contemporary Open-Shoulder Dress, Forever 21 - $17.90

We'll start with the most affordable. $17.90 for a t-shirt dress is still a little on the "hmmm" side for me, but it's still less than $20. Also, this dress is super cute and would be appropriate for almost every body type. And hey, if you don't like the sack look, a cute belt would nip it in at the waist. I normally don't like the "cold shoulder" look, but for spring, it's starting to grow on me. For a day look, top with a leather jacket and maybe some leggings, if you're in a colder climate. 

2. Palm and Collected A-Line Dress, ModCloth - $79.99

I can see the look you're giving me right now. "Michelle," you say, "I thought you said affordable." Ok, maybe $79.99 isn't super affordable for some people. For me, it would totally be a splurge. But... look how cute this dress is. It's so cute! It's appropriate for the office AND a party AND you can wear it into summer. And, hear me out, I think you could even take it into Fall. This is a Long Haul Dress because it's got sleeves, a lower hem, a cute print, a practical style... C'mon. $79.99 is a steal if you wear this dress once a week for a year. Also, consider it with a cute pair of kitten heels and a light cardigan at a barbecue. I think I've made my point. 

3. Angie Shirt Dress, Nordstrom Rack - $24.97

Look at this cute print! The minute I saw it, I knew it would be perfect for this post: it's cute, it's affordable, and it has SLEEVES. Is anyone else perma-cold in Spring? As the weather gets nicer, it feels like everyone turns on the air conditioning unnecessarily and I end up just as bundled up as during winter! Shirt dresses are universally flattering and I personally love a rolled up sleeve on a dress. With sandals or pumps (or even tights and boots during winter), this is really another long haul dress at a killer price. 

4. Contemporary Floral Print Dress, Forever 21 - $19.53 (Sale)

I really, really love the pajama look top of this dress. I think it's casual and interesting. This is another dress that you can definitely make work for every season, but feels especially appropriate for spring--when the weather can still be chilly and wet, but can unexpectedly turn into a beautiful day. Plus, at a little over $19, it's super affordable and the shirt dress style is, again, flattering on every body type. 

5. Bookmaking Brunch Dress in Roses, ModCloth - $69.99

I know, $69.99... but please see #2 above. Also, look how cute this dress is! The a-line skirt, the nipped in waist, the neckline. Perfect for a spring or summer wedding, or with a jacket at work, paired with some white or nude stacked heels. Are you on board? Good, because I'm already on board. I love a vintage rose print and this one is absolutely stunning. 

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Book Review: "If the Creek Don't Rise" by Leah Weiss

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Also, warning, this review DOES contain spoilers. 

Start to finish, this book was beautifully written. Leah Weiss deserves credit for weaving a beautifully told tale that captivates readers, allowing them to appreciate and sympathize with the people of Appalachia. 

However, there were a few parts of the novel that just felt a little... unnecessary. At the end of the copy I received, the story is framed as being about Sadie. And while that does feel true, there is a significant portion of the novel dedicated to Kate Shaw (the teacher), Eli (the preacher), and Prudence (Eli's sister who tries to get rid of Kate). This storyline, revolving around Eli falling in love with Kate, a woman who is in a relationship with another woman named Rachel, and Prudence using a letter from Rachel to try and get Kate run out of town. This story is never returned to; instead, Kate is roped back into Sadie's story when she loses the baby. That's fine and good... but what happens to Kate? What does Prudence do? Does Eli find out about Kate?

This is an entire plot line that is introduced, followed, and then promptly abandoned in favor of Sadie's much less interesting story. No offense, Sadie. On another note, we also get some amazing parts from Sadie's grandmother, but then, we also never hear from her again. It's disappointing to meet these great characters and then have them promptly abandoned.  

The end of the novel just felt too tidy. We get a story about Roy and Billy disposing of Darlene's body. Darlene is a sex worker in town who Roy falls in love with and starts paying attention to instead of beating Sadie, which is nice. However, he discovers that when he runs out of money, Darlene immediately starts seeing other men (because he apparently struggles with the concept of what a sex worker does and thought Darlene was in love with him), so he kills her. We then jump to Sadie deciding to finally kill Roy. She makes some hemlock poison, mixes it with Roy's moonshine, and then... it turns out Billy shoots Roy while they're hunting. Ok. Cool. That's...? Simple. It's just too tidy. The rest of the novel felt messy: Kate and the preacher, Kate and Rachel back home, the medicine woman, the violence of the entire area... and then, in the end, Sadie gets the job done for her by Billy. 

She then tells Billy to take Roy's moonshine, obviously with the intent to kill him. Again, that's cool, but it's just a little too easy, isn't it? Someone does the work for her, she then offs that person to make sure no one ever finds out (and also to prevent herself from having to fall in with Billy as, I don't know, a favor in return for killing Roy?), and the novel just ends. 

We don't find out about Kate and Rachel; we don't find out about Prudence and what she does; we don't find out about Eli. We never see Marris or Gladys again, or Birdie, or anyone else. These characters just disappear at the end of the novel and we're expected to believe that the story was only about Sadie all along. No, the story was about ALL of them, so all of the storylines need to be wrapped up. 

It's frustrating to get to the end of a novel that truly had me enraptured... only to find the last page is the last page and not everything is done. Sadie got her ending, but what about everyone else? What about the family that Sadie went to see in the store, whose son had been injured in a mine? What happened to him? There are so many pieces of information we are given that are never followed up on and from a reader's standpoint, that's just sloppy storytelling. 

The book is beautifully written, truly. The story was enchanting. But I feel in the end, Weiss perhaps lost steam and decided to end with Sadie. Which is her choice, ultimately, but it doesn't feel like the right one. I also suspect that a fair amount of editing whittled down the story and perhaps created the thread, via Eli, Prudence, and Kate, needed to get back to Sadie. It just feels abrupt for the reader though. Again, all that being said, a book I thoroughly enjoyed reading and would read again. 

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Complicated, Haunting, & Invasive: My Thoughts on "S-Town"

I'm a podcast junkie. I listen to hundreds every week. My favorites are My Favorite Murder, Wine & Crime, Casefile, In Sight, and basically any podcast relating to true crime. I listened to Serial, way back when, but was generally unimpressed. I personally don't find Adnan's case compelling: I think his trial was a joke, but I wasn't exactly convinced of his innocence. (This is an Unpopular Opinion, generally.) 

When S-Town dropped this week, I hadn't been anticipating it like most people. However, once my podcast friends started to buzz about it in the multitude of podcast groups I'm in, I downloaded the first episode and listened. I was intrigued, expecting some kind of Serial-esque true crime podcast. 

However, at the end of the second episode (which I hurriedly downloaded on my feeble, data-strapped internet because I needed it), I actually yelled out loud. 

Note: my review will contain spoilers. If you haven't listened to S-Town yet, don't keep reading. 

S-Town isn't a true crime podcast. It's not even really a podcast about investigative journalism. S-Town is, ultimately, the profile of a single person: John B., the man who emails Brian Reed about his terrible town (Shittown) in Alabama and a potential murder that happened there. Even before the kicker at the end of episode 2, I knew this podcast was about John B.: I knew it wasn't about any murder. The murder story was so lackluster, so boring. In comparison, John B. was magnetic and interesting. 

This is, verbatim, what I said to my husband after we finished the last episode: Can you imagine being John B. in that small town? Viciously intelligent with serious critical thinking skills. Not just smart, but able to think over issues, to dissect them, to participate in discourse. The number of people who don't understand discourse, who think that any discussion about right and wrong is a judgement, is astounding. John B. was a queer conspiracy theorist, liberal, concerned about civil rights and the environment. He was one of the best clock restorers probably in the world. He most likely gave himself freaking mercury poisoning thanks to the method he used to restore those clocks. More than that, he wasn't secretive about any of these things. People knew those things about John B. in his small town. In that way, I admired him. I felt bad for him. I wondered what his life would have been like if he had left the town he referred to, almost lovingly, as "Shittown." 

It is difficult for me to hear a podcast about someone with such insane potential, and such magnificent intelligence. Especially when that podcast, ultimately, is about the hole left by their suicide. 

That's the kicker, isn't it? Ultimately, John B. commits suicide, right in the middle of the project. Brian Reed is flabbergasted, as you can tell in the audio recording where he finds out. He doesn't know what to say. He put time, and energy, in this project with someone who is now gone. It's a personal loss as well as professional. At that moment, I thought, "so what is this podcast about?" 

Brian Reed, because he's a professional and a very good researcher, keeps going. Because what else is he supposed to do? He keeps pulling at the strings that John left. First, he follows John's friend, Tyler, in the aftermath: Tyler wants what he is owed, but is blocked by John's next-of-kin, Rita, who lives in Florida. Then, he interviews Rita and the podcast seems to shift. It's not about Tyler being screwed over by these next-of-kin anymore; John's family is just trying to take care of John's elderly mother and, thanks to John deciding to not keep his money in banks, there is no money for her care. As much as I want to sympathize with Tyler, who got dealt a rough hand in life, I do have to say: stealing stuff that John's family could sell to care for his elderly mother is pretty low. However, Rita is a strange character herself and her motivations are murky, at best. 

It's during all this that I start to wonder: what's the point of a podcast that airs this kind of familial drama? It sucks, of course. But it's also very familiar. Things like this happen all the time. Someone dies without a will; their next-of-kin steps in to try to get things done; and friends start popping out of the woodwork saying, "Well, so-and-so said this..." This felt weird to publicize. I sincerely wondered why all these people were giving recorded interviews about all this information. 

The end of the podcast is the most problematic for me. A lot of my thoughts are covered pretty succinctly by this piece on Vox. I remember, when listening to Episode 6, as Brian said, "I'm sharing this even though John had me stop recording because..." I grimaced. I realized, at that moment, that the second the podcast continued after John's suicide, that there was no consent on John's part to continue. I felt weird about it. I felt like I'd participated in a serious violation of someone's privacy. The discussions about his gold, about his house, with his lawyer about his will, about his sexuality, his mental health, his health in general... it's almost too much. It just goes too far. 

It'd be one thing to profile the town, Woodstock. To branch off after John's suicide and say, "Ok, let's learn about this place he hated." And relate that back to his original email. But no, Brian Reed decided to profile a person who couldn't really consent to it. And in the process, Reed interviewed old lovers, old friends. Things that he couldn't take back to John and ask, "is this true? Is this ok?"

John may have been an atheist and he may believe he is worm food now and he might not care, but it's still gross. It's like Facebook stalking an ex-boyfriend or someone you don't know: it's voyeuristic and weird. It's normal human behavior to want to listen, to want to know. But that doesn't make it worth a podcast.  

All that being said, at the end of S-Town, I was floored. It's a beautifully made podcast about a Southern gothic character (said every review of it ever). It's the portrait of a man who was tortured and intelligent and charismatic. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable having listened to it. I'm not sure this is the direction podcasts should go: sorting through the dirty laundry of others, exposing the things that we may not want exposed. 

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How to Dress a Toddler Boy

The minute I found out I was having a boy, it felt a little bit like, "oh crap, the clothes." 

Boy clothes are notoriously awful. As I've written about before, I know people can find this sentiment frustrating; at the end of the day, babies are just babies, after all. Gender constructs are real. However, my (male) child really has no capacity to choose his own clothes for at least 2 years. So for those first 2 years, it's my job to dress him in a way that prevents him from being targeted. If he wants to wear whatever when he's picking his own clothes, that's fine, I don't care. But until then, it's my job to keep him safe and comfortable and clothed. 

Boy clothes tend to fall into two categories: middle aged banker and offensively gendered. It's hard to find anything outside of these categories. The little t-shirts that say "FUTURE HEARTBREAKER" or "MACHO MAN" are, honestly, just plain exhausting. At the same time, however, some of the other hand, a lot of the commercially available clothes for baby boys and toddlers are what I would label "middle aged banker" chic: khakis, cargo pants, tiny button up shirts. It's somewhat cute, but really, is my 18-month-old managing a Radio Shack now? 

I spend a lot of time narrowing down Forrest's wardrobe. People love to buy tiny baby (and even small toddler) clothes because it's fun. Honestly. And the clothes are not exactly super expensive, especially if you're at stores like Target. However, very little is what I would describe as my "style" for Forrest. 

When it comes to dressing a toddler boy, I have a few simple tricks to keep him comfortable and cute. Here they are. 

1. Onesies Are Done by Age 1

I loved onesies when Forrest was little. He rarely wore pants unless we left the house and onesies made it easy to change him. As well, t-shirts ride up on babies when they are only crawling and rolling. However, by the time Forrest was standing and walking, onesies started to get a little bit difficult. Changing diapers after a year old is like wrestling some kind of octopus: he's turning, he's trying to run, he's flipping over, he's kicking me in the face. Trying to snap the buttons on a onesie is an added step that's never going to happen. So, exclusively t-shirts now. Yep. 

2. Shop At Kid-Specific Stores

This breaks my heart a little bit because I love Target. But their toddler boy's section is massively lacking. They don't even have a wide selection of toddler boy's shoes! There are two aisles of girl's shoes, as well as a HUGE section of girl's clothes. Meanwhile, there are two racks of toddler boy's clothes. You probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. 

When I really need something for Forrest, I have to shop at the kid-specific stores. Our favorite was Children's Place, but they are, unfortunately, closing. We also shop a lot at Gymboree and Carter's. Boutiques for toddler boys are very hit-and-miss; most of them focus entirely on baby and toddler girl's clothes, which is truly unfortunate. I would love to recommend some, though, so if you have, or know of, a boutique that caters to toddler boy's, let me know! 

3. Keep Things Comfortable

I occasionally do this really dumb thing where I buy Forrest something terribly impractical--like a train print, fair isle sweater. It's cute. He's probably only going to wear it once, if that. It's a nice thought. But it's dumb. Most days, he wears a pair of jogger sweatpants and a t-shirt. Sometimes, we go a little crazy and he wears a hoodie or one of his pairs of "real pants." But I try to only buy him things that are comfortable, that he can play in and get dirty without me being fussy about it. 

4. Avoid the Cartoon Characters

This one is hard because a certain point, it feels like the only clothes out there feature some kind of garish marketing ploy. Lightning McQueen on everything? Mater? It's the same with girl's clothes, truthfully. The only advice I can give is: once you cave, your kid will expect it every time! I don't do t-shirts with cartoon characters. Forrest has two Star Wars t-shirts, which I feel like are "different" than something that seems like just marketing. But that's it. I draw the line at any more! I feel like I always want Forrest to look "put together" and clean. To me, the cartoon character stuff just gets a bit too garish! 

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3 Ways to Achieve Your Blog Goals

As I sat writing this blog post this morning, I felt a bit like a fraud. I feel like I've written this sentence multiple times already, but: March was a bit of a rough month for me. The very first Friday of the month, I got the flu and was sick for a solid 3.5 weeks. Just as I started to feel 100% better, I woke up this morning with a sore throat again. How's that for getting better? As a result of being sick, a lot of things have fallen to the wayside, the main one being this blog. 

So, yeah, I feel a bit like a fraud writing this post knowing I won't have hit my goals for March in terms of page views and growth. But, that's life, isn't it? Some months you do everything right and have a great month (January); some months you achieve your goals even when you aren't sure why (February); and some months, you really want to try, but you just can't (March). 

Anyway, what I'm saying is: blogging should, at the end of the day, be about passion. If it's taking it away from you, you need to adjust what you're doing. I know a lot of people start blogs in the hopes of doing it full time, but I highly discourage this behavior. We've seen multiple "blog bubble bursts" in the last few years--the first round of very famous Mommy Bloggers are currently in the process of downsizing their homes, selling off all the trendy furniture they bought, and locking down real jobs. I'm not kidding. All I'm saying is: don't put all your eggs in one blogging basket. Be realistic: blogging is, at most, a supplemental side gig. Use it to supplement a full time position. 

Ok, that's my only little PSA/soapbox. Let's get onto some tips for actually hitting those blog goals. 

1. Actually Set (Realistic) Goals

I mean, duh-est of duhs, but you should actually set blog goals. Every month, on my editorial calendar, I write a few little goals: usually a page view increase of 3-5% (nothing crazy), and a certain number of Twitter or Instagram followers. The most important thing is to set realistic goals. You might see some people claiming to gain 2,000 Instagram followers in a month, and not to doubt those people, but buying followers doesn't count. Using hashtags and an increased Instagram strategy, I've gotten about 150 followers in 4 months or so. Yeah, that's realistic. My goal every month is 10 engaged followers on Instagram. 

2. Strategize Social Media, but Don't Go Overboard

Here's the thing about social media: it's easy to let it drive you crazy. When you're trying to schedule posts for Facebook, for Instagram, for Twitter, for Pinterest, and more, it gets really overwhelming, especially if you're also a full time student, or parent, or worker. The truth is, you probably just don't have time to do all that managing. I decided to stop scheduling Twitter posts recently (unless something really tickles my fancy). Instead, I focus on scheduling posts for Facebook and that's it. I get a higher return from Facebook, so that's where my energy should go. My goal for Instagram is two posts a day (one around 10am-1pm, and then one after 6pm). 

Ok, but what about Pinterest? Every day, I spend about 20 minutes pinning 5 of my blog posts to two group boards. That's it. And I get a ton of traffic from Pinterest by repinning, by creating dedicated boards to specific topics that are popular on Pinterest, and by creating graphics that look good on Pinterest. You don't need to pay a whole heap of money for a fancy Pinterest scheduler, I swear. I do most of my Pinterest work from my phone while my son sleeps. 

3. Join Facebook groups. 

I really groaned about including this one tip. Because it feels a bit like cheating, doesn't it? Facebook groups dedicated to blogging are great places to promote your blog posts, join threads where people share your most recent post (and you share theirs), and learn how to optimize and improve your blog. It can be really time consuming to try to do everything though. I am only a member of three groups and I participate in maybe one thread a week. That's my goal for the moment! For some good Facebook groups to join, I really like this blog post. 

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10 Quotes to Use on Instagram

I've written before about how I struggle with Instagram captions. It's definitely a challenge for me to write engaging content both on my blog and on so many social media platforms! But I'm trying... I started thinking recently about quotes that can be used in captions to add a bit of humor, thought, and, of course, engagement. I found a few great ones on Pinterest that I thought would be perfect to share. 

1. Everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud. 
2. Better an "oops" than a "what if." 
3. "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." ee cummings 
4. We look up at the stars and see such different things. 
5. "Maybe one day we'll finally learn to love ourselves and stop apologizing for the things that make us who we are." R.M. Drake
6. "Of course I feel too much, I'm a universe of exploding stars." S. Ajna 
7. We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone. 
8. You can ask the universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see when we're ready to see it. 
9. Don't let someone dim your light, simply because it's shining in their eyes. 
10. When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars. 

For more great Instagram captions, I always turn to Pinterest. You can follow me here. 

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How to Be More Active When You Don't Have Time

For an entire year after Forrest was born, I really struggled to get back into being active. When you feel like you don't have time, when you're always moving from one thing to the next, it can be hard to add "go for a walk" or "do an exercise video" to that. In the last three months, I've tried harder to be active: to take Forrest on walks, to not just sit on the couch. 

If you're busy in the same way I'm busy, and you're not willing to wake up at 4am ahead of your toddler (someday, Forrest will sleep in, right?), here are a few tips for trying to be more active. Here's the caveat of these tips: I'm not claiming you'll be able to work in a 2 hour work out. It won't be easy. But here's what I do. 

1. Get a Fitbit 

This is a daunting one for some people. But I love my Fitbit. I have a cheap, $50 Fitbit (it's the most simple version) and a hand-me-down Fitbit One. Both work just fine. You don't have to get the fanciest version for it to work, I promise. I mostly just need my steps. Here's the thing: I work a sedentary job, I have a toddler. I know it's going to take a while of practice for me to hit 10,000 steps a day. (For some people, who live in cities where walking everywhere is possible, this is nothing.) So my goal everyday is 5,000 and if I hit that, I feel pretty good. If I can hit 7,000, I feel like a champ. Set realistic goals for you and your Fitbit. 

2. Fit in what you can 

Ok, this is a big one for me. I used to love going to the gym every single day after work. I would spend an hour doing cardio and lifting weights. It kept me healthy, made me feel good, and improve my mood. But the truth is, I just don't have time to do that anymore. I've thought of ways to fit it in: going before work, leaving work earlier, going in the evening once Forrest is in bed. But I'm so exhausted by the end of the day. Instead, I try to go walking when the weather permits. Forrest and I will walk around the park, then play on the play structure. It's a nice little exercise and we get outside the house. On days where I'm home with Forrest, we go in the morning, and then usually play outside for a little while in the afternoon. 

3. Download workout apps. 

I have tons of work out apps. FitStar and Pump Up are two of my favorites. In the evening, I have about enough energy to clean the house and then for a 10-15 minute work out using one of these apps. It's not a huge time commitment, but it's enough to make me feel like I'm active. I like FitStar because it automatically syncs to my FitBit. However, I like Pump Up because you can generate work outs depending on what areas you want to target and whether to include cardio or not. So if nothing else, a quick work out using an app is doable, especially in the evening or early morning. 

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