Monthly Journaling: 31 Prompts for October 2020

Happy October! Another month, another exciting set of journaling prompts.

This month, I wanted to focus on finding little joys throughout your month (make sure to check out my Inspiration Sunday post on this subject!), as well as Fall memories, focusing on your mental health (and how that feels in your body), and connecting with yourself through writing.

These prompts are a great way to get yourself writing every day, or just give yourself a few minutes to relax and tune out (and get away from a screen!). I hope you find these helpful!

How to Become a Better Writer

Another month, another series! This month, I want to talk about writing: how to become better at writing, how to effectively set writing goals, and much more. So many people love writing, but when it comes down to it, it can be tough to get started. Writing can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In this series, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to really jump into writing. Thanks for joining me!

What does it mean to be a good writer?

Here’s the tough thing about all creative endeavors: what makes them good is incredibly subjective. We tend to think of writing, however, as slightly more subjective (although this isn’t necessarily too). Art is a visual medium and is more accessible to most people; everyone can pretty much look at a photo or piece of art and say, “I like that!” and it’s easy to tell why. With writing, good writing is often not that different from bad writing and lots of people can read good writing and say they don’t like it.

It’s just incredibly subjective.

It also doesn’t help that writing, like art, can be a skill your born with a predisposition to. But by and large, most people become good writers by practicing, by focusing on it every single day.

This brings me to the question of this blog post: how do you become a better writer? How do you get started on the path to improving, to making writing an every day part of your life? Here are my 3 tips.

1. Write every single day without expectations.

You’re not writing the great American novel every single day. You’re just writing. Write in a journal, write in your planner, write somewhere: on the notes app of your phone, in a Google Doc, somewhere, anywhere.

You can write with a prompt, like these ones. You can write about the weather or your day. You can write poems or drabbles or flash fiction; you can write out quotes; you can write about what you read that day.

It doesn’t matter. You can henpeck your way through a short story you want to write, or you can just write about your day, or you can write about whatever you want: your favorite memories, your to do list, whatever. There are so many things you can write about every day.

But the what doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you sit down and write every single day.

2. Read.

This is an incredibly easy one, but sometimes, it’s the hardest. If you want to write frequently, if you want to write well, you have to read. If you don’t like to read, then you probably aren’t going to enjoy writing at all.

Reading improves your vocabulary. It gives you ideas of what you like and dislike when it comes to writing. It helps you create your own writing style. It can inspire you, distract you, keep your mind working when you can’t write anymore.

Reading is incredibly important to writing. The best writers are voracious readers. It doesn’t mean you have to have critical thoughts about every book you read. But it does mean that you should be engaging with books—and not just in genres you love, but all books, new and old—frequently enough. Read books, read articles, read poetry, read blog posts, read, read, read.

3. Write about the mundane.

I have noticed this trend among authors that they focus on the biggest parts of their book. It’s very easy to write climaxes, the scenes we’re excited about. But sometimes, focusing on the mundane aspects of our days and lives, and those of our characters, is what is going to build our skills as writers the most.

One thing I do every day is write a list of interesting things I saw that day. It might be things like, “a man with very long, beautiful hair walking to the convenience store” or “grocery pick up at Target punctuated by crows landing on the hood of my car.” Just normal, average every day things that are interesting, that I might use in a scene to provide mundane, but realistic, details.

Write about the mundane. Think about how those small details of your life add up and how beautiful they can be.

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That’s it for this week’s blog post! Thanks for reading as always. Next week, we’ll be talking about the best books for writing prompts. See you then!

Inspiration Sunday: Little Joys

Years and years (and years) ago, I used to frequently write Inspiration Sundays posts. It was a place for me to share things I found meaningful or that were important or pretty to me. I have brought them back every October as a chance to fill up that Blogtober calendar, but I’ve struggled to find a purpose to them.

This year, I had the idea to focus on one small thing each week.

This week, it’s little joys.

As Nabela (if you don’t follow her on Instagram, what are you doing?!) says, there is a pocket of peace inside of each day, even when things are hard. And she’s right!

Let me tell you about my week.

We had Forrest’s birthday (yay!) and then he got sick the day after (boo!). I knew he was going to get sick once he started school. He’s 5, that’s just what kids that age do! But I expected it to be 1) longer than 2 weeks in school and 2) not quite as bad as it is. He had a fever and a very runny nose. On Saturday, I waffled and finally called his pediatrician to have him tested for Covid19. My suspicion is that he doesn’t have Covid19; the reason why it is so hard to spot in kids though is because kids symptoms aren’t the same as adults. Kids, especially small children, get fevers for everything: allergic reactions, average colds, because their body feels like it. They just get fevers! So it’s hard to distinguish a Covid19 fever from a “this is normal for my kid” fever, especially in a kid (like Forrest) who is prone to fevers anyway.

(On that note, I am also prone to fevers. When I had chronic UTIs in college, I think I had a low grade fever every single day for probably 8 or 9 months.)

That’s been the last few days and it’s tough! I’m considering what it will mean if he does test positive and we have to quarantine for 14 days. I’m trying not to panic about it. I’m trying not to feel bad about having him around my parents, who I really don’t want to get sick.

But amongst all this worry, and Fo being sick, there has been so many little joys. Let me list them:

• Watching Lego Movie in bed with him Saturday night and having him fall asleep beside me almost immediately

• Making pumpkin muffins together on Friday afternoon

• Picking up his favorite dinner after school on Wednesday

• Watching him play with his cousins at his birthday party

• His excitement when he got Grouch Couch for his birthday after asking for it every single time we went to Target for 2 months

• Planting my pumpkin patch in Animal Crossing

• Placing a special Target pick up order for today specifically so we can make chili cheese fries and dip

In my newsletter on Monday, I wrote about finding joy in frivolous things and I wanted to share that here as well: I hope you find joy today and every day. Things are hard. The news is weird. The world feels overwhelming. But I have found that the more I am able to disconnect and find joy in each day, the happier I am—and the more able I am to focus in on the news when I need to and get actual work done.

Thanks for reading! I hope you’ll join me next Sunday as well.

Master the Order of Your Skincare Routine (+Free Printables)

Hello there! I’m so excited to bring you a guest post from Fragrance X, a fantastic resource for fragrances and more. I hope you enjoy!

Lets face it, finding the perfect skincare routine can seem almost impossible. With the endless amount of skincare products and complicated routines, it can be very overwhelming. Where do you even start?

The first step is to understand which skin type you have. That way, you know what  products to look for (and what to avoid!). Here’s a quick recap if you aren’t sure which skin type you have:

Dry skin - Your face feels tight and there might be noticeable flaking. You easily scar and there are irritated red patches on your face. Hydration is the most important thing for you! 

Oily skin - Your face is shiny and feels greasy throughout the day. If you take a piece of tissue or blotting paper and it comes back damp, then it’s likely you have oily skin! Daily cleanse and exfoliation are the most important things for you!

Combination skin - You break out in your t-zone (forehead, nose and chin), but the rest of your face feels dried out.  Balancing your pH is the most important thing for you!

Now that you can identify which skin type you have, let’s move on to how to master the order of your skincare routine. To keep it simple and organized, download this handy skincare routine planner that sets you up for success.

Morning Skincare Routine:

Starting off your day with a morning beauty routine that helps energize you is super important. When you wake up, your skin needs nourishment. Follow this six step morning skincare routine to give your skin some refreshment!

Step 1: Cleanser

Cleansing your face with a gentle cleanser is the perfect way to start off your skincare routine. Opt for a cleanser that’s gentle but suitable for your skin type. Remember to be gentle and rub in circular motions rather than scrubbing with something too harsh like a washcloth.

Step 2: Toner

After cleansing, it’s time to apply a toner! Toners are great for balancing your skin’s ph (which gets acidic overnight) and is the mediator between cleansing and applying other skin care products. 

Step 3: Serum

Serums are foundational for providing your skin with the vitamins it needs to be healthy. Serums are full of nutrients, making them the fruits and vegetables of your skincare routine. Opt for one with Vitamin C, as it brightens and tightens your skin while also creating a protective barrier against UV rays and pollutants. 

Step 4: Eye Cream

The skin around your eyes is super thin, so you’ll start to see aging around your eyes first. Start early and find an eye cream with peptides, Vitamin K, caffeine, or shea butter to combat early aging and dark circles!

Step 5: Moisturizer

No matter which skin type you have, you don’t want to skip the moisturizer! A moisturizer locks in moisture and provides the skin with extra hydration. Apply one when your skin is slightly damp and wait for it to sink in before applying any makeup.

Step 6: SPF

You’ve probably heard it enough, but SPF is extremely important to wear everyday! Even if it’s a rainy day or you plan to spend your day indoors, sunscreen is always a must! It protects your skin from harmful UV rays that cause cancer, premature aging, and acne scarring.

Evening Skincare Routine:

After a long day, you and your skin have been through a lot together. It’s time to recuperate and recover with this six step evening skincare regimen!

Step 1: Double Cleanse

Cleansing your skin twice a day may sound like overkill, but it’s actually very beneficial. The first cleanse (an oil based cleanser) is to loosen up any dirt, oil and makeup that built up throughout the day. The second cleanse (which can be the same cleanser as your gentle morning wash)  is to actually wash those things away.

Step 2: Toner

This step is optional in the evening, depending on what skin type you have. If you have oily skin, opt for only toning once a day, preferably in the morning. 

Step 3: Eye Cream

Look for an evening eye cream that is centered around hydration more than anything else. Eye creams that include ingredients like shea butter are ideal for an evening routine.

Step 4: Spot Treatment

If you have any blemishes, a spot treatment is great for zapping it overnight. Be careful not to overdo it and only apply the treatment on the affected area.

Step 5: Moisturizer

As you sleep, your skin loses hydration. For sensitive skin, you can use the same moisturizer you use in the morning. However, a thick night cream is great for creating a layer to retain your skin's moisture - perfect for those with dry skin.

Step 6: Retinoids

Retinoids are great for anti-aging and preventing acne. However, you’ll only want to apply this step three times a week rather than every night. If you have sensitive skin, ease into this step and try it out once a week first. As always, consult your dermatologist before using any specific products or treatments.

The journey to clear and supple skin won’t happen overnight. Even if you have the best products and a strict skincare regimen, that doesn’t always mean our skin will cooperate. Regardless, anchor your skincare to the foundations outlined here. Most of all, love the skin you’re in!

10 Things I'm Excited for This October

Happy October! Happy Blogtober!

What a month September was, huh?

I know I’m not alone in this, but it’s been a rough start to my favorite season of the year. But as I’ve been saying recently: happiness is now or it’s never. It is possible to find joy right now. And for me, joy is very much about this season that I love so much.

That’s why, despite everything, I decided to move ahead on Blogtober. It does feel a bit frivolous to be blogging right now; there is so much going on but at the end of the day, my work still has to exist. I still have to eat and pay my bills and finish all the things I started. Part of staying sane right now, for me, is staying grounded in these things, that are ultimately so much in flux.

Today’s blog post is all about the things I’m excited for in October: the things I look forward to every year, the things on my bucket list, the moments where I will dig deep to find the most joy. I hope this, if nothing else, gives you a moment to break and breathe.

1. Celebrating Halloween in a new way. 

Danny and I always say we want to have a Halloween party for Forrest—but every year, we become overwhelmed by the trick-or-treating, the costume, the school stuff. This year, Halloween is on a Saturday, but we know we won’t feel comfortable taking Forrest house-to-house or even to a trunk-or-treat event.

The other options are an at-home Halloween party. We’ve been considering doing an Easter egg hunt style Halloween where we hide candy for Forrest for him to find in his costume. We’re still toying with this idea, but ultimately, we’ll be celebrating Halloween in an entirely new way as a family and that’s exciting to look forward to.

2. Finding new things to do this Autumn. 

When I wrote this list and this blog post, it’s September 13; right now, we are 1 week from the start of the McKenzie River Fire (also called the Holiday Farm Fire), as well as multiple other fires in Oregon. Outside my office window, the sky is completely yellow, swathed in smoke. I haven’t seen the sky, or the sun, in a week now. It’s hard not to feel claustrophobic and depressed about it.

But I hope by the time that this blog post goes live in October 1 that we are seeing some relief from the smoke and claustrophobia, that the fires are at least partially contained, and that we do have the ability to go do new things this Autumn season!

I had fantasies of taking Forrest to the Spring Creek Holly Farm along the McKenzie River, going hiking on the coast, and more. These are things we started doing in quarantine that gave us something to do while being socially distant from other people. We hiked Sahalie Falls, visited the Raptor Center, went to the butterfly center in Elkton… I’m hoping we can keep doing these things.

3. Cooking & baking 

I love to cook and I love to bake. I recently bought a slew of new cookbooks and have been slowly working my way through all of them. It makes me happy to have something I can do each day—plus, tons of leftovers for easy lunches for both Danny and I. Nothing makes me feel cozier than baking either, even if I had the clean up process.

4. Decorating outside

Another item impacted by the smoke! However, we’ve been working on getting the outside of our house cleaned up. Neither Danny nor I are green thumbs and we struggle to keep the outside of our house looking, well, nice. But I’m determined to really decorate and make our outside area cute this year.

5. Carving pumpkins

I don’t care if we make it to a pumpkin patch this year. But carving pumpkins makes Forrest and I bought happy. I will carve a grocery store pumpkin, I don’t care.

6. Making our home cozy

Quarantine turned us all into homebodies, so it goes without saying: making our homes comfortable and cozy and adaptable for how we live has been huge. I’ve ordered both of us new office chairs; I’ve spray painted so much furniture that I gave myself carpal tunnel but like, in my finger if possible; and I’m considering painting an archway on our wall because I’m just that trendy.

Most importantly, I’ve been trying to find ways to make our home super cozy. We’re in for the long haul here, clearly.

7. Taking socially distant day trips

Please let me be able to go to the coast or the mountains just once this Fall. It’s all I ask.

Like I said, we have loved exploring Oregon this summer. Packing up the car with some supplies and a cooler with sandwiches and water has been more fun than anything else. It definitely helped relieve my stress and Forrest has some great memories.

8. Wearing scarves again

I just want to wrap myself in flannel. Please. Let me wrap myself in flannel.

9. Autumn-scented everything

I’m lighting a pumpkin waffle scented candle, I’m setting up my diffuser to have orange and clove oil, I’m using my fireside body spray. I will smell like a carnival and Autumn leaves, this is the point I’m at in my life.

10. Starbucks seasonal drinks

Controversial: I don’t like pumpkin spice lattes. I find them really sickly tasting. Plus, they’re so oddly orange? But salted caramel mochas??? Gingerbread lattes? Peppermint mochas?? I’m here for this.

Where Can I Learn New Skills?

Welcome to the Diversifying Your Skills series! Learning new skills in your life and career can be really rewarding—but challenging at the same time. What does it mean to realize you’re missing a skill for your career or, worse, life? How can you best learn new skills? I’ll be answering those questions and more in this weekly series. You can read past articles in this series here.

In my final article of this series, I want to focus on a specific aspect of diversifying your skills: when you’ve come to the conclusion that you need to learn something new, where do you actually go to learn it?

Primarily, I think most skills are best learned from doing: if you want to learn to be more patient, you simply have to work on it everyday. If you want to learn how to make better graphics on Canva, you should work on making graphics everyday and getting feedback. However, there are some really great places to learn skills that are more high-level. Let’s talk about them!

1. Khan Academy

Khan Academy is a great place for kids to learn extra lessons about math and science. But if you’re an adult, there are some great courses as well for Computer Programming, Economics, History, and more. I love doing Khan Academy courses to brush up on basic skills—prime example, when I was working on my books recently, I did the personal finance lesson to help brush up on some things I forgot. Khan Academy is free for users, which makes it even better.

2. Skillshare

Skillshare is another great option and it has 2 tiers: a Free account, which gives you access to all the Free classes; and a Premium Account, which gives you full access to everything. I have a free account at the moment and I love it—I’ve taken great classes on using my DLSR (something I want to get better at!), marketing, and more. All for free.

However, if you want to upgrade to Premium, it does seem worth it to get access to more classes.

3. Lynda

Lynda is owned by LinkedIn now, which should tell you everything you need to know about it: if you need new skills with a business or tech focus, then Lynda is the place to go. Back in the day (2013, I think), where I worked at the time had a free Lynda membership for employees, so I would spend my days doing courses on Microsoft Word, Excel, everything that employers were suspicious of me having experience in. (Side note: one time an interviewer fully interrogated me about “when” I learned to use Microsoft Excel. Like, 3rd grade computer class? For older people, it seemed bizarre that I just knew how to use Excel because it always existed for me! But I digress.)

Lynda is a paid subscription, but you can get a free month to test it out. A standard plan is $29.99, but if you pay annually, it works out to $19.99.

Should I Outsource or Learn?

Welcome to the Diversifying Your Skills series! Learning new skills in your life and career can be really rewarding—but challenging at the same time. What does it mean to realize you’re missing a skill for your career or, worse, life? How can you best learn new skills? I’ll be answering those questions and more in this weekly series. To read the previous posts in this series, click here.

A few weeks ago, I had a great phone call with a rep from the company, Bench; what they do is basically super easy, efficient bookkeeping for entrepreneurs and small businesses. It’s like Quickbooks, but slightly more millennial (and way easier to use). While I decided to pass on Bench (just for the moment!), it was a conversation I needed to really think about: do I want to learn to do this better (that is, bookkeeping) or do I want to outsource this?

It’s a question for the ages. Even if you’re a regular employee (not a freelancer, solopreneur, or business owner), you’ll eventually have a moment in your career or your life where you have decide if you want to take the time to learn to do something yourself or simply outsource it.

A simpler way to look at it is this: do I want to delegate this task or add it to my plate?

Again, a question for the ages.

This kind of decision making is so common in life; you have to decide how much you want to take on personally, if it’s worth it, if you want to do it, if you can afford to ask someone else to do it.

Here’s the real question though: how can you make the best decision?

When it comes to your career or your life, there is also a benefit to diversifying yourself and letting yourself gain that knowledge. But weighing it against other factors that are just as important is big. In this blog post, let’s talk over some things to think about when it comes to deciding between outsourcing or learning it yourself.

Do you have the time to commit?

Ultimately, one of the biggest decision making factors is time.

Do you have the time to learn this new task?

Are you motivated to learn?

Are you dragging your feet and avoiding it because you have too much on your plate already?

Only you can know if you have enough time to learn a new aspect of your business or career or life. Only you know if you have the time to take it on. If you hate the idea of bookkeeping, or if you simply don’t know when you’ll make the time for it, then outsource it. If you’re already buried beneath work, or if you’re already pretty far ahead in your career, then adding a new skill that might lead to burn out might not be top priority.

A few other time-focused things to consider:

• Is it your busy season? If so, now’s not the time!

• Are you in the middle of a big transition? (Think: new baby, new house, new job, etc.) If so, now’s not the time!

• Are you struggling with your task list already? That’s right; if so, it’s not the time!

Are you outsourcing out of fear?

There is nothing wrong with outsourcing certain tasks. However, ask yourself if you’re outsourcing out of need or fear of learning something new (or because you’re convinced you won’t be good at it/do it well). 

It’s ok to ask for help, but it is important to recognize when we delegate or outsource out of a fear of failure or avoiding something we aren’t sure if we’re good at.

Here’s an example: I hate Facebook ads. Whenever clients ask me to do Facebook ads for them, I outsource this task; I recommend someone else or just ask them not to ask me to do it. I’ve been passed on for other freelancers because of this.

The truth is, I know Facebook ads aren’t that scary. I’ve done them before! It’s not that bad! But I find the process of learning too overwhelming and I fear I won’t be good at it. Managing budgets has never been my strong suit. I know I avoid learning about Facebook ads out of fear of failure. And that’s no good.

It’s my goal in 2021 to take a few courses in Facebook ads and to get better at this aspect of my job.

If you outsource, are you giving that person all the information you need?

This isn’t a time where you get to micromanage someone! I said what I said. If you end up delegating a task, but then you micromanage and obsess over how that person is doing it… listen, maybe it’s you.

When it comes to outsourcing, here are a few things to consider:

• Make it easy for that person to do their job. If you’re hiring them, making sure they have everything they need to be successful is really the bare minimum in terms of your job.

• Don’t be horrible. We’ve all had jobs where we were micromanaged and picked at until we were miserable. If you delegate a task to someone whose job it is to do that task, then they’re an expert. If you’ve spoken to them, vetted them, and learned about them, then you know that. So leave them alone. Let them just do it for you!

Your choice isn’t forever

The most important thing to remember? If you choose to outsource now (your bookkeeping, your taxes, your house cleaning, whatever), it’s not forever. You don’t have to commit to never learning that thing, or never doing that thing again.

You might take it back on when you have more time or after you can take a course. You might give yourself a few years. You might never take it back on. But it’s not a forever thing. You can always change your mind!

NaNoWriMo 2020: My Guide to NaNoWriMo Prep

I love NaNoWriMo. It’s one of my favorite times of the year and in an effort to take my mind off of things, I've been thinking a lot about NaNoWriMo already. ⁠ ⁠

NaNoWriMo always helps me feel productive and happy. It's one of those things that gives me a huge boost every single year in terms of feeling accomplished and happy. ⁠ ⁠

This year, however, I have this sort of vague feeling of: I don't think I'm going to finish a novel this year. ⁠ ⁠ The truth is by this time, I usually have an outline written. I usually have an idea I'm excited about--one I started working on in February or March or through the summer. ⁠ ⁠ This year has definitely been... different in terms of how much I've gotten done and how many ideas I feel like I have in my brain. I've got like 5 half-formed ideas, none of which I'm very excited about, and as I watched NaNoWriMo get closer and closer on my calendar... I can't help but feel like this isn't my year.⁠ ⁠

However, I know once Forrest starts school (soon, hopefully, after a week of delays because of the fires in Oregon!!) I'll have a lot more time to decompress and hopefully move out of my slump. ⁠

I know this is a really challenging time for everyone, especially here on the West Coast. I recently read a tweet, however, that said something like this: it’s possible to feel just as happy drinking your coffee and watering your plants as it is to go on a dream vacation. Joy is joy, and however you’re able to feel it, let yourself take a taste of it and really feel that joy.

I thought I’d share a round up of my best NaNoWriMo posts to help us get started prepping for NaNoWriMo. This year, I’ll be working on my outline probably this month or in October—way later than usual for me! In October, I’ll be re-publishing my NaNoWriMo prep guide with NEW material to help you plan, brainstorm, and write an outline.

For now, here are a few posts that I think will help you get started.

• Am I Crazy to Try NaNoWriMo with a Newborn?, which I wrote when I was pregnant with Forrest (!) and the exciting follow up, Yes I Was Crazy to Try NaNoWriMo with a Newborn (not the actual title, but I wish it had been). If you’re a new parent hoping to try NaNoWriMo, I think these are both great posts to reference (and I promise I’ll work on expanding/rewriting them soon).

• Another parenting-focused NaNoWriMo post: Writing With a Toddler.

• 4 Things to Do To Prep for NaNoWriMo

• 5 NaNoWriMo Essentials to Survive November

• 3 Things to Know About NaNoWriMo

• 3 Tips for Staying Motivated During NaNoWriMo

• 5 Writing Prompts to Get Your Creativity Flowing Every Day

I am hoping to expand my NaNoWriMo guide here on my blog this year—if you have any posts you’d like to see, or questions you’d love to see answered from someone who has done NaNoWriMo since 2010 (!), let me know. Happy Writing!