5 Tips for Last Minute Holiday Parties

Danny and I don't throw a lot of parties. Living so far outside of a town, we don't have company over very often. When we do, it often feels very last minute: we'll get a text from a friend, or a cousin, or maybe even a brother, and then they'll be at our house. We always try to have something ready--bread in the freezer, something we can throw in the oven, or snacks we can put out. 

For the holidays, it's nice to throw the occasional holiday party. But if you're like me, you forget until the last minute--say, two or three days before and suddenly you remember you have a bunch of people coming over. And they expect food and maybe drinks. 

Here are a few ideas for making any last holiday parties a hit. 

1. Offer easy, do-it-yourself food and drinks. 

My favorites are mimosa bars (a variety of juices and champagne), bagel bars (a few varieties of bagel, two varieties of cream cheese, and some toppings), or baked potato bars (if you're looking for a heartier option). This way, you can just set everything up and that's it. Offer plates, napkins, and that's it. Less work for you and more fun for everyone else. 

2. Minimize clean up by buying what you can. 

Prime example: if you're having a bagel bar at a New Year's Day brunch, don't make your own flavored cream cheese. Bless, it'd be nice, but it's not worth it. Buy the little tubs of flavored cream cheese. Buy dessert items to stack on a tray if you're already making a dinner, or buy the appetizers. Pick the thing you want to make and then cut yourself some slack on the rest. 

3. Keep the decor simple. 

Here are a few ideas for simple decor ideas. My favorite is filling a glass vase with holiday ornaments. There are plenty of ways to make your space a little prettier for a holiday party fast: clean it up, get it organized, and then have one or two cute pieces. 

4. Light a candle.

Get the house smelling like Christmas. I'm talking a Kitchen Spice or Tis the Season scented candles from Bath & Body Works. Something that smells like you've been baking up a storm. It will make your house feel homey and inviting. Perfect for the holiday season. 

5. Relax.

You don't living in Martha Stewart's magazine. Really. You don't. It's ok if you didn't get the kitchen totally decluttered; it's ok if you didn't get a chance to make the entire party look Pinterest worthy. We don't live in magazine editorials. We live in the real world. And your friends and family will probably love you even if the cream cheese is still in the tub you bought it in or you didn't decant the orange juice into a fancy container. It's fine. Celebrate!  

A Sensible Gift Guide for: Writers

Every year, without fail, someone gets me a notebook. 

It's a thoughtful, loving gift. They know I'm a writer. They know I love to journal. They put two-and-two together and, boom! A notebook! It's perfect. 

I have stacks of notebooks. Stacks that I can't use because I'm obsessively dedicated to using only one variety of notebook (Moleskines, lined, red or black online) for my journals and notes. I buy others myself, use them a bit and then reject them in favor of my favorite. 

Writers are persnickety about writing supplies. (Or at least, I am.) If you know a writer, if you love that writer, you can feel a little confused at to what to get them for a gift. Don't worry--I'm here to help. 

Writers Gift Guide by wiredphosphenes featuring non skid rugs

1. A Cute Comfy Sweatshirt

Listen, not all writers like or drink coffee. But plenty do. And there are tons of cute, comfortable sweatshirts out there featuring clever sayings. Like this one. Writers need comfortable clothes, that are cute enough to walk outside in without having to worry about it. It's practical; it's cute; and if you know your writer friend well enough, you can find the perfect one for their personality. 

2. Some cute decor. 

There are a few options here: I love this wall art from Nordstrom, this rug (!) from Society6, and these Scrabble pillows from Etsy. Beautifying a workspace can help with motivation, but it's something that a lot of people put off. 

3. A cookbook 

Eating is important. Even if your writer friend isn't well-versed in the kitchen, a cookbook is a great gift to encourage your friend to eat, be merry, and relax. I like this one from World Market because it's especially aesthetically pleasing. 

4. A cute, clever pin or accessory

Whether it's a scarf, a cute hat, some mittens, a necklace, or a pin, a cute accessory that will fit their style and personality is always a great gift. (This goes for everyone on your list!) I love this Coffee Please pin, but other ideas include burger print socks, a cactus themed tote bag, or a great scarf. 

A Sensible Gift Guide for: Toddlers

Have a friend with a toddler? (Is that friend me? I hope it's me.) It's really, really tempting to go crazy in the toddler clothing and toy aisles. Trust me, I know. 

But please, friends, I beseech you: don't load your loved ones with toddlers with toys and clothes. Guaranteed, their toddlers probably already have more than enough of both. I created this gift guide to give people without kids (or who have older kids) an idea of what to get for toddlers--besides clothes and toys! 

Toddler Gift Guide by wiredphosphenes featuring gray home decor

1. Decor items

Toddler rooms are in transition: it's no longer a nursery, everything is safety-proofed, and the crib has possibly transformed into a toddler bed. Ask parents what kind of decor the parents would like for the room and find something cool. I love this pillow from TJ Maxx and this wall art from Etsy. 

2. Books

Toddlers are getting right to the age where books are fun. (Forrest will sit for a long time, for him, looking at his books now, which is exciting.) If you can think of nothing else, a favorite book of yours from childhood is a perfect and thoughtful gift. And if you're totally not sure, a gift card to a (local!) bookstore is also perfect. 

3. Toy storage solutions

The toys, at a certain point, no matter how organized I am as a parent, get out of control. Cute, clever storage options are a great gift idea, especially if they can be used in the toddler's room. I love these stacking boxes from Target, but there are tons of options out there. 

4. Wooden toys

If you really, really want to buy toys, I encourage you to buy wooden toys. The less plastic, the better. These wooden stacking dinosaurs are perfect for young toddlers; they're educational, durable, and fun. 

5. Blankets

Forrest loves blankets and it feels like I'm always looking for one to give to him. When it doubt, a cute, cozy blanket is a great gift. Toddlers can use them in bed, for naps, or on the floor--or for cuddling up with their parents. It's more of a family gift, actually. 

5 Christmas Movies I Have to Watch Every Year

Christmas. You feel it in the air, right? The faint scent of peppermint, cinnamon, and pine trees everywhere, the crowds of people at the mall, the Christmas tree posts on Instagram. 

I don't make any excuses: I'm obsessed with Christmas. And Christmas movies, specifically. 

Rituals are very important to me. I resist to call them "traditions" because traditions suggests a cultural relevance--and my habits are highly individual, especially when it comes to Christmas movies. 

There are five movies that I have to watch every single year to mark the Christmas season. If I don't get them in (like last year), it almost feels like Christmas didn't happen. Am I the only one? 

Anyway, here are my five favorites: 

1. The Santa Clause

"The Santa Clause" is one of those movies that I loved as a kid and I still love as an adult. I also recently found out that a significant number of people believe Claus is actually spelled with an "e" and don't realize the title is a pun. Oops. Watching it these days, I totally see Scott's side of everything--and find myself even more bewildered by Charlie's mom and Neil. It's such a great movie: simple, heartwarming, and featuring some of the best, goofiest, 1990s-era jokes and effects. 

2. The Polar Express

Pretend for a moment that this movie doesn't have that weird, hyper-Christian undertone. Ok, now I love it. I just ignore all that part. It's a beautiful movie (even with the uncanny valley effect) and has some amazing songs and moments. I always find myself wishing to know more about all the other kids on the train and I wish more of the movie was spent in the actual North Pole, because the buildings, elf workshops, and square are just beautiful. 

3. The Muppet Christmas Carol

Every year as a kid, I looked forward to watching "the Muppet Christmas Carol" on TV. It was the best part of the holidays. I still love this movie. When I finally got a DVD copy a few years ago, I had to order it from Hong Kong. Now, you can find it in Target almost every year. It's totally worth owning because I like to watch it every single Christmas eve. It's the perfect goofy, fun movie. 

4. Love Actually

I know there are some critics out there who argue that "Love Actually" is not, actually, a very good movie. Here's the thing though: they're wrong. Is it problematic in some ways? Oh, sure. But does that take away from my enjoyment of it as a Christmas movie? No. Because every single time Emma Thompson turns on that Joni Mitchell CD and cries in her bedroom, I cry like an infant whose been left behind. It's a breathtaking scene and any criticism of the film is redeemed in that moment. Because Emma Thompson is queen. 

5. the Nightmare Before Christmas

Is it a Halloween movie? Or a Christmas movie? That's the question. I like to think it's both. It's a movie that's perfect for the run up to the Christmas season--for that time between Thanksgiving and Christmas when it's still Fall, but you want to get excited about Christmas. All I know is, it was one of my favorite movies growing up and it's still one of my favorites now. And it's not Christmas until I've watched it. 

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What are your favorite Christmas movies? 

Oh, and while you're at it, sign up for my new newsletter! I'll be sending out the first edition on Wednesday, December 14--and then every other Wednesday after that. 

A Sensible Gift Guide for: Moms

Gift guides. Two words that you hear, roughly, every 5 minutes in the month of December. 

I'm here to add a little more clutter to that segment of the internet. You know why? Because sometimes, moms get forgotten in the gift guide mania. Gift guides are often created with the intention to be used by the primary shoppers in family units (re: moms). Gift guides are sometimes made for moms or wives to "treat themselves." 

That's not this gift guide. This gift guide is for you (you're a mom or maybe a wife or a girlfriend who wants some nice stuff because you're stressed) to subtly (subtly) send to your husband/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/whoever to give them ideas for your Christmas presents. 

So, take note people who are reading this lift to figure out what to get the mom in their life: these suggestions come from a mom who is just as exhausted as your person. I know what I'm talking about. 

Gift Guide for: Moms by wiredphosphenes featuring grey home decor

1. Giftcards, giftcards, giftcards.

Listen, if you don't know what to get the mom in your life, I have two simple words for you: gift cards. Some people think gift cards are terrible gifts, but I would argue that, no, they are the best gifts. I get so excited when I get a gift card, especially to a place I already shop. Target, Sephora/Ulta, Starbucks... where does that special mom in your life like to treat herself? Get her a gift card for that store because most likely, she doesn't get the things she needs for herself very often. 

2. A really nice wine glass set & a bottle of wine. 

Not to play into stereotypes here, but most moms love a nice glass of wine after their wrestle their toddlers or young kids into bed. It really takes a lot out of you. Mostly, though, wine glasses are beautiful and a nice set is often something young families don't have, leading many moms to drink their wine out of coffee cups (no shame in that game). Throw in a bottle of your favorite wine and you're set. 

3. A journal or planner. 

Nothing says "I care about your mental wellbeing" like something to record thoughts or appointments in. I love getting a new journal for Christmas because journaling is incredibly relaxing and perfect for the end of the day. Pick one that's fancier than the average spiral bound notebook, prerferrably something that will look nice on Instagram. 

4. Candles.

Candles are often gifts that are thought of as boring or last minute. Nah! Candles are great because: 1) they smell nice, 2) they're relaxing, and 3) they look beautiful. I like this one from Zoella. 

5. Picture frames. 

Most moms have a ton of photos that they just, well, haven't gotten around to doing anything with. Personally, I'm always just a little behind when it comes to getting stuff framed and put up. Take the plunge and buy the mom in your life a nice set of frames (or even a collage frame). She'll appreciate it,  I promise. (You can even get a head start and frame all those photos she's been meaning to!) 

Want to know where everything from this photoset is from? Check it out on my Polyvore!

Why We Decided to Put a Strict Limit on Christmas Gifts

Every year when I was little, the same thing happened. Every Christmas Eve, my family would gather either at our house or my grandmother's house. And every year, as the clock ticked closer to 7pm, my siblings and I would find ourselves sitting next to stacks of gifts. If we were at our house, we would be in the family room, the room with the fireplace and the tree, the best furniture. We would pick a spot and divvy up the gifts, which would often be dragged into the house by my grandmother and grandfather in giant, black trash bags. 

My grandmother was one of "those people." You know the ones. The ones who just can't not buy a gift. 

We got things we wanted, sometimes. We got sweatshirts and toys that featured our favorite characters, art supplies or computer games. But we got plenty of things we didn't want either. Things we didn't need. Junk piled up in our rooms until summer came and we took it to Goodwill. A continuous cycle, over and over and over again. 

As I got older, we decided, as a family, to stop it. To stop the gift thing. We do a small gift exchange every year--no more than one or two gifts each, if that--but that's it. For a few years, we have tried to do just Tree of Joy gifts: we would all go to the mall and choose an ornament featuring the want or need of a foster child in the area, aged from 0 to 18. In lieu of gifts to each other, I try to make sure we all give to someone who really needs it. 

I still remember the anxiety of that pile of gifts. I hated clutter, even as a kid, but found myself inexplicably acquiring things that piled up and up and up. Boxes for computer games, books and journals, notebooks and pens and electronics. It stressed me out, even as a young teenager. 

When Forrest was born, Danny and I had to decide what we wanted our Christmas to be like. We could make Christmas an affair based on gifts, based on buying and giving and receiving. Or we could make Christmas about the spirit: hot cocoa and a clean house, warm blankets and a pretty tree, driving together at night to look at lights, giving to those less fortunate, baking cookies and watching our favorite movies. 

Which one would you choose?

It was this Christmas that I proposed that we limit ourselves to one gift each and stocking stuffers. 

That means, I only get Danny one gift. Danny only gets me one gift. And we only get Forrest one gift. We fill stockings; we wrap one gift. When Forrest is older, that one big gift will be from "Santa"--until he's old enough to know that, you know, Santa is us. We set a spending limit. We use the time we would have spent shopping and wrapping and stressing and counting our money on other things: watching movies, cleaning the house, being together. 

Aren't those things more important? 

I don't want to sound like a fuddy-duddy. Everyone gets to choose how they spend their money and how they spend their Christmas. But I'll admit--it's hard to watch people I love spend hundreds of dollars on gifts for their kids, just so they can have piles upon piles to open on Christmas morning. It's hard to know that many children in the United States go without--not just without gifts on Christmas morning, but without food every day, without the basic necessities like coats and warm socks. 

Our logic is that we have everything we need. Trust me when I say, Forrest does not need more toys. He needs more clothes, but he grows slower now than he did before and guessing season-to-size matches is hard. He wants for nothing: he is warm and fed and happy and enjoys throwing every toy he owns over the baby gate, repeatedly, day in and day out. He doesn't need anything else to throw, I promise. 

It's the same for Danny and I: we don't need anything. 

So we are limiting the gifts, but increasing everything else: more nights baking cookies together, drinking hot cocoa, watching movies. More days spent sitting on the couch, reading books and singing. More days spent together, instead of shopping. 

We still get asked, plenty, what we want for Christmas or what Forrest wants, and our answer is the same: please buy supplies and gifts for foster children, or children in need, in your area. Please donate time or money to a local soup kitchen. We don't need anything, I promise. 

My Favorite Movies to Watch in October

Scary movies are some of my absolute favorites. Every time a new horror movie comes out--no matter how horrible the reviews for it are--Danny and I rent it and watch it. And sometimes, we buy them--even when they're not super great. Sometimes that's the allure, right? That it's so bad, it's good. 

However, every October, I make sure to watch the classics--my absolute favorites. These are them. 

1. Halloweentown

I don't care what anyone says--this is a classic. It's so good! I still identify with Marnie: she is pretty much every girl in the mid- to late-1990s, right? The aesthetic of this movie is perfect childhood nostalgia: the clothes, the colors, the dialogue. It's just so October. 

2. Coraline

This is one of those movies that Danny often says isn't an "October movie"--but I disagree. Coraline is a horror film--it just happens to be for kids. And to be perfectly honest, it is really scary. It's one of those movies that I would not let Forrest watch until he's a certain age! I love the look and feel of this movie as well--it's a very beautiful movie for being animated! 

3. Trick or Treat

If you want a good classic-yet-creative horror film to watch, this is the one. Really. It's so good. When I first watched it with Danny years ago, I was sure I would hate it--but I get excited to watch it every Halloween. This is the one movie I make myself wait to watch until Halloween day: it's the perfect Halloween movie. 

4. Hocus Pocus

Is there a more perfect Halloween movie than Hocus Pocus? I've loved this movie since I was a little kid and for good reason. Bettle Middler is the perfect witch. This movie is the perfect not-too-scary movie for kids on Halloween. Plus, it's fun to sympathize with the parents now that I'm older. 

5. the Saw Series

Yes, Danny and I own all 7 Saw movies. Yes, they get really bad the further into the series we watch. But they're also really good. They are gory, overly complicated, and hilarious at times--but I still find myself jumping at the scares, even after tons of watches. 

6. the Nightmare Before Christmas

Could I get through this list without mentioning the Nightmare Before Christmas? No. Goodness, no. I really thought I would--I told myself to try--but after listing 5, I knew one was missing. It's this one! This is the classic emo kid October and holiday season movie. Who doesn't love singing along to the opening sequence? 

What are your favorite movies to watch in October--spooky or not? 

Let's Get Organized this Holiday Season (Without Shopping)

I love being organized. I don't often consider myself the most organized person around, but when other people see my work areas, they always seem impressed by the order of it all. Mainly, I just like to have a place for everything so even if I let things go, I can quickly clean everything up. However, since Forrest was born, my work areas have fallen into a little bit of a disarray. I've shown up early to appointments and then late to others. Generally, I only know about half of what is going on at any time. I need to get my stuff back in gear and get organized again. I've been looking through Pinterest for some ideas and these are my favorites. 

1. Use this Moleskine hack. 

Almost everyone has a spare notebook lying around. If you've ever expressed any interest in writing, surely someone (well meaning!) has bought you a notebook. Maybe it's a Moleskine, but it doesn't have to be. I love turning Moleskines into planners, either with month calendars or weeks. They really are the perfect size for it. You can create any kind of planner you want: a bullet journal, a weekly planner, or just a book of lists. Whatever. Use it to plan your goals, set up a timeline for the New Year, or create a budget for yourself. The options are endless. 

2. Pick a Planner.

Getting a new planner doesn't always mean buying something. Lots of bloggers dedicated to planners and organization make planner packs for readers that you can download and print for free. How awesome is that!? I like this one linked above, but there are tons on Pinterest. You just need a binder of your choice, a printer, and some paper. 

3. Create a "Family Planner." 

This is something I've been meaning to do for ages. A Family Planner organizes cleaning lists, warranty information, timelines, and more for your family and more. If you have kids, you can include a calendar and school information. Again, there are tons of free templates for Family Planners out there. This is first on my list for holiday organization!

4. Make it cute. 

As with anything, I think the more personalized you make it, the more you're likely to keep using it. I use a Happy Planner to organize dates, blog posts, and my journal entries these days and I love taking 10-15 minutes every week to decorate the next week. It's just relaxing! Check out my Paper & Planners board on Pinterest for some of my favorite free, printable sticker pages for planners, scrapbooks, and more.