I'm Scared to Launch a Project

I've had this idea for a project (a lifestyle newsletter) for two years now. I've hemmed and hawed about it. I've created pages, hidden them, and then deleted them. I've put out feelers on Twitter. I've told Danny about it. I've gone back to hemming and hawing. I've written blog posts, prepared launches, scheduled blog posts--and then backed out at the last minute. 

I'm scared of launching a newsletter and watching it fail. I'm scared that, like many things I do, it will never reach its full potential because I get scared at the last minute. I'm scared that no one will be interested, that I'll feel dumb at the end. 

Mostly, I'm scared of something I really, really care about being seen as self-serving or stupid. 

The nature of my anxiety is one of holding me back. Some people deal with anxiety by being busy, having schedules. I deal with my anxiety by staying in bed, not doing anything. I look around at my messy, cluttered house and think, "I want to change this," but I can't bare the thought of not getting ahead. I think about projects (novels I want to write, blog posts I want to write, projects I want to start, community events I should attend) and give up before I even fully commit. 

By nature, I'm a homebody and in many ways, I can be very lazy. My biggest critic, however, is myself and I know it: I know other people look at me and see a hard worker, a mom who is doing her best. But at night, I think of all the times I spent sitting on the couch, or standing in the kitchen, or aimlessly listening to podcasts. Why don't I start running again? Why don't I start that project I wanted to? 

Why don't I just start the dang newsletter? 

Then the little voice says, you're not popular enough. No one cares about your blog, or you, or anything. Your Instagram isn't curated. Your Twitter is boring. So I rewind: I unschedule the blog posts, delete the tweets on Twitter, tell Danny I'm backing out. 

It's hard to feel so nervous about something. It's hard to want so badly to do something, but to be so paralyzed with fear about failure. I want to be better at this blogging thing than I am--and admittedly, I'm much better at helping other people at this funny game than I am at doing it myself. 

Maybe one day--someday soon--I'll be braver. Until then, I'll keep thinking about it, talking myself into it. I got so close to doing it, launching that newsletter, this time. Maybe next time I'll be braver. 

Planning my First Solo Disneyland Trip

As I've already written, I'm taking my toddler, Forrest, to Disneyland in t-minus 9 months. This is the very first time I will have planned a trip to Disneyland on my own--including hotels, travel, and buying tickets. It's kind of a scary and overwhelming undertaking when I think about it. 

Planning my own vacations is one of the first "adult" things I've done: doing all the packing, planning, and paying myself is a new experience. Throw in the fact that I'm now responsible for a small human in the process and I feel very, well, grown up, for lack of a better word. 

Planning this trip on my own is also a little bittersweet at the same time. Even though my parents are thinking of coming along (what kind of grandparent doesn't want to be present for a grandkid's first Disney experience?), it's the first time that I won't be with them the entire trip--and, of course, things will be different. However, I'm realizing more and more that being a parent is about establishing my own way of doing things and letting go of the way I'm used to things being. 

I'm so excited to share this experience with Forrest though and to make our own memories and figure out our own way of doing things at Disneyland! Being a parent is challenging, but the prospect of these kind of trips, both big and small, makes it all worth it. 

3 Fall Projects Just for Toddlers

It's difficult for me to accept that I'm now the mother of a toddler--not a baby. A toddler! I can't believe it, honestly. 

As the colder months rapidly approach, I've been looking for fun, not-too-messy projects for Forrest and I to take on together on my stay home days. Here are a few I've found on Pinterest that I can't wait to tackle. 

1. Making Fall Wreaths 

Are these not the cutest little wreaths you've ever seen? All of the supplies are affordable and available at a dollar store. Plus, you can use something like Glue Dots (from Hobby Lobby or Michaels) instead of actual glue--cutting the messy factor waaaay down. 

2. A Fall-Themed Sensory Bin

I love sensory bins! They're so much fun, especially when color-themed. Right now, I keep a box of jar lids that Forrest loves to sort through and bang around. I love the idea of creating a Fall-themed box together out of different wooden shapes, pumpkins, leaves, and more. It will be fun to look for stuff to include at our favorite craft stores. Undoubtedly, Forrest's favorite part will probably be dumping everything out and then, you guessed it, banging the box around the living room. I know him well. 

3. A Cork Painting

This one has the potential to be incredibly messy. But I think with the right supplies (a tarp? A full-body bib for Forrest?) it would be very fun. I'm thinking of cutting out the middle man and making some edible paint for Forrest to use with his hands. Then it will be easy to just rinse him off in the bath tub afterwards! 


Got a toddler? Share your favorite projects with me on Twitter

5 Tips for New Job Hunters

I wrote this post several years ago and recently decided it was time for a revamp. 

The last 5 years have been a true blur of job applications: from constantly checking Craigslist, writing new resumes, and sending the perfect follow up emails, jobs and job hunting has filled up a lot of my time. After I started at my current job 2 years ago, I calmed down and don't apply for as many jobs anymore, but I'm still always on the hunt. 

It takes a lot of time, patience, and persistence to find jobs, write cover letters, adjust resumes, apply, follow up, interview, follow up again... on and on and on. People aren't kidding when they say it adds up to a full-time job, so if you’re already working or in school or just trying to keep your head above water, it can be exhausting to try to find a new job, find a job to begin with, or even just get your foot in the door. 

I’ve learned a lot since I graduated college and I thought I’d share what I’ve learned from my experience job hunting. 

1. Carefully read through job descriptions.

And I mean, carefully. Job descriptions are notoriously difficult to write and often only include the easiest parts of the job or at least, the easiest to explain. If something doesn’t seem clear, make a note of it. When I originally wrote this post, I wrote: "If a job seems out of your league, pass." Well, I've changed my mind since then. 

I recently read a study that men are more likely to apply to jobs where they only have one or two qualifications out of the list--whereas women feel they need to tick every box. The fact is: you don't. A list of qualifications is ultimately a dream list. The employer is just saying their ideal candidate--who may not even exist. So if you feel like you can do the job, apply. 

2. Pay attention to the job description. 

If you schedule an interview, request a copy of the job description be emailed to you (especially if the company decided not to include their info in the job posting). Reference the job description throughout the interview.

I have sometimes showed up to interviews and been blindsided by a question that was not in the original ad, but was included in the official job description. You always want to make sure you’re being interviewed for the job you applied for. I have had the unfortunate experience of being interviewed for other jobs the company had listed and thought I had applied for. The results were embarrassing for everyone involved.

As well, as you’re interviewed, if the duties they talk about don’t match the job description or the responsibilities you applied for, ask about it. Without giving out too much information, I was once interviewed and hired for a position that ended up being completely different from the posted job description and what was suggested to me at the time of the interview and from what they told me when they offered the position. It was an extremely difficult situation and I wish I had said something before I had to quit. 

3. Use LinkedIn (wisely). 

Network! But not too aggressively. LinkedIn often includes some great job postings. It also makes it very easy to send the HR or posting representative a message to ask any questions. If you have a lot of connections, you can easily see how connected you are to that business, which can be incredibly beneficial. 

That being said, don’t get too aggressive with your LinkedIn connections. Asking every other person to connect with you can come off really badly. There will be times where established professionals might not want to connect with you, in the fear that you just want to mine their connections. Be polite and respectful, as always. 

Also: Use your friends (politely... and wisely).

Never be afraid to ask your friends if they know of anyone who is hiring. What’s the harm? 

That being said, working with your friends can often backfire. If the job interview goes sour, or you are hired and it turns out to be a nightmare job, you risk ruining a friendship. Be careful with how you use your friends connections. When in doubt, use your own connections. 

4. Make a list.

When I was in college, I spent what felt like an entire day on LinkedIn and Twitter researching local businesses. I ended up writing a list of about fifteen businesses that I wanted to work at. They ranged from technology firms to magazines. The common element was that: they hired writers; and they were, at their core, creative businesses. 

Fast forward a few years and I've kept my eyes on those businesses ever since. I've religiously applied to almost every job opening they've posted.  I've emailed them, arranged meetings with them (they led no where, but at least they knew who I was)! I've interacted with them on social media. I've interviewed for a few of them and then promptly scratched them off my "dream job" list. One of those businesses is my current job. Seriously. 

My point is: pick a few businesses. Ones that you really connect with and feel like you would fit in at. Then go for it. Dedicate yourself to gaining the skills necessary to work there, or watch their websites or social media for job openings. Become a part of the local community and keep your eyes and ears constantly alert! 

5. Always follow up. 

A polite email after an interview (within 12 hours is my rule) never hurts. Be sure to reference something from the interview. A good example: “I loved talking with you about [business]'s culture and expertise. I really feel like I would be a great fit.” 

As well, be sure to make a personal comment (although not too personal). If your interviewer mentioned something specific (an upcoming trip, a conference, etc.) be sure to reference that. If the interviewer mentioned they were getting over a cold, a polite “I hope you feel better soon!” is nice. These kind of references show that you paid attention to them throughout the interview.


Do you have any tips for job hunters? Anything you found particularly helpful?

5 Things You Absolutely Need for Your Baby's First Year

I've written quite a few posts about items that we love for Forrest. Looking back over the last almost year (really, almost a year now), I can pick out a few distinct items that we absolutely love, use every day, and cannot live without. 

My usual disclaimer, of course, stands: not every baby is the same; not every baby will like the things Forrest likes, and not every parent will like the things that Danny and I like. But that being said, I really feel like these items have made our lives easier--and that's why I say, you absolutely need them. 

1. the myBaby Sound Machine 

This is a sound machine and projector for baby's specifically. We didn't get it until June and let me tell you--I wish we'd bought one sooner. We used an app on our phones for the first 8 months of Forrest's life, but it was hard to leave him in his room with our phone, with an app that needed restarted every 30 minutes. This sound machine... it's amazing. In all honesty, we don't use the projector; I don't like the idea of him having a light playing images all night, it seems odd. But the sound machine. is. amazing. There are a ton of sound options, including heart beat (very popular with newborns) and rushing water (Forrest's fave). Totally worth the $24. 

2. HelloBaby Wireless Monitor

I had said I wouldn't get a video monitor because I thought they were unnecessary and weird. But when we started sleep training Forrest, we knew we needed one. Forrest could already stand up by then and so would often stand in his crib; I just wanted to be able to see if he'd hurt himself or genuinely needed help. This one is affordable, incredibly light, and has absolutely zero fancy features. It's perfect. You don't need a $200 camera to watch your baby sleep. 

3. OBall Rattle

This is a $4 ball that rattles. It is one of Forrest's favorite toys and has been for ages. He can chew on it, crawl on it, throw it, bounce it, hit it, offer it to Remus, and use it in the bath tub. It's a multi-use toy and he freaking loves it. $4. Drop the $50 activity centers and grab a bunch of Oballs. You'll thank me. 

4. Munchkin Microwave Sterilizer

I never imagined I would need so many bottle supplies, but here I am. Washing bottles is a huge pain in the butt and sterilizing them is worse. I sterilized until Forrest was 6 months old because I was paranoid like that. This microwave sterilizer was a constant on our kitchen counter. It was easy to use, easy to clean, and didn't take up too much room (not any more room than our bottle drying rack which I can't wait to get rid of). Even if you think you'll be exclusively breastfeeding, having a good bottle sterilizer on hand is good for pump parts, bottles, and toys (in case you end up getting thrush). 

5. Mommy's Bliss Gripe Water

Gripe water is used to help calm colic. Some babies live on this stuff. For the first 12 weeks of Forrest's life, we would give him this every evening to head off his crying streak that occurred from 6pm to 9pm. If he was crying, it would stop him in his tracks just long enough for him to go to sleep. It was a total game changer. Affordable, easy to use, and mostly non-medicinal. 


Have items your baby couldn't live without? Share with me on Twitter!

My Daily Beauty Routine

I love reading about people's daily beauty routines. I love knowing what other people do to their faces each day, because I feel like I always learn something new and want to add something new to my routine. Because I love these kinds of posts, I thought I'd share my daily beauty routine. 

First things first, I use Honest Revitalizing Mist, followed by BeautyCounter Uplifting Day Cream as my moisturizer, immediately after I shower and wash my face. I then prime my face with Laura Geller Supercharged Spackle primer. It's the only one I've used so far that doesn't turn my face into an oil slick under full-coverage foundation. 

For foundation, I use Kat Von D Lock-It foundation applied with a damp BeautyBlender (this is a knock-off from Ulta). I forgot to include it in my photos, but I also use NYX HD Concealer in Ivory for my under eye concealer; for $5, it's the best concealer I've ever used and a perfect shade. I then use an e.l.f. Kabuki brush to apply e.l.f. Perfect Finish H.D. Powder. 

For eyeshadow, I use either Urban Decay Primer Potion or Too Faced Shadow Insurance on my eyelids to prime them. Like the rest of my fact, my eyelids are oily and while neither of these primers are perfect (my eyeshadow tends to be gone by the end of the day no matter what I do), they work pretty good. I then usually use eye shadows from the Too Faced Power of Beauty Palette from Nikkietutorials or Naked 1 (or both!). I have been using the Too Faced Sketch Marker for my winged liner lately, because I'm trying to train myself to like felt tipped eyeliners. 

Once I have my eye look on, I use my Too Faced Better Than Sex mascara in purple; I love this mascara that I got from the Power of Beauty palette. It's purple, but it's a very subtle purple and still quite dark. It adds just a little bit of interest to a nude or brown-toned eye. 

I typically use Wet'n'Wild Pearlescent Pearl blush (or one of the blushes in the Too Faced palette) and a highlighter from my e.l.f. Contour Palette; I apply blush with my kabuki brush and then highlighter with my damp BeautyBlender. 

At night, I wipe my make up off with a damp cotton ball with a little bit of Clean & Clear toner (the pink kind). I then use Sephora Cleansing water to take off my eye make up. Then, I wash with Up & Up brand Cream Cleanser and moisturize, again, with my Honest spray and BeautyCounter face cream. 

That's my daily beauty routine! To see my daily beauty looks, follow me on Instagram or Twitter

Hello Fall!

Not to be one of those people--except that I'm totally one of those people--but it's September. 

That means it's Fall. 

Autumn. 

It's here! 

It's time for sweaters and warm coffee, boots with thick socks and leggings, red leaves and pumpkins. Everything is going be crisp and spicy and awesome now. 

I'm a total Fall lover. I hate Summer--I hate it, viscerally and totally. I hate being too warm unless it's cold outside--in which case, I'll sit in my house, wrapped in a blanket, in leggings and sweaters, with a heater aimed at me. Awesome. 

These are the best months. September will be Forrest's first birthday; I'll be launching a very exciting project on September 9 (you can learn more on my Twitter!); and we'll be able to indulge in all those awesome Fall activities very, very soon. 

Join me in my Fall-inspired bliss on Instagram and Pinterest

Living with Bad Internet

"So, have you seen 'Stranger Things'?" my coworker asked me. I stared at her, wondering if it was an appropriate time to launch into my well-worn speech about the Internet. 

Here's the thing: I don't use Netflix. I don't want YouTube videos except at work. I don't watch Hulu. I only listen to Spotify when I'm driving. I don't download music. 

I don't have good Internet. It's truly the tragedy of my life. 

Ok, actually, I should clarify. I do have good Internet in that it is very fast. I don't have good Internet in that I have a data limit. 15gb, in fact. The average movie on Netflix uses about 3 or 4gb to stream. So, we don't watch videos; we limit photo uploads and downloads; we don't use wifi on our phones. 

Living with bad Internet--that is, Internet that operates on a data plan--is extremely stressful. I pay an insane amount of money every month for the Internet we have and I can barely use it. Blogging stresses me out because each moment I spend writing a blog post, each time I upload the wrong photo or have to redo my graphic on Canva... I stress out. If I use an extra amount of data, I know it will bite us in the butt at the end of our billing cycle. 

I take extreme measures to prevent unnecessary data expenditures: I use AdBlock purely to prevent auto-playing video ads (the worst, they are my nemesis). I also have a Google Chrome extension that stops news website videos from auto-playing (another nemesis). I have to turn on settings in Facebook and Twitter to prevent auto-playing videos. Same with Instagram. 

It sounds incredibly whiny to say "it's hard to have to do these things." But as someone who works primarily on the Internet (even at work), it is really stressful. I try not to work from home because I end up using so much data simply because of Slack and email and sitting on a computer for 8 hours straight. I try to do all my blogging at work on my lunch break or after I'm done with work. I schedule my weekly Twitter updates at work or on my phone while I'm walking through the grocery store. 

However, there are some benefits. Danny and I spend a lot of time together, reading or writing (our wifi turned off on our computers). I bullet journal every night. I take baths. After I get my work done (as quickly as I can) and bills paid (again, as quickly as I can), I cook and clean and meal prep... and then I have time to spend with Danny or go walking or work out. 

Sometimes I get frustrated that I miss out on some major cultural happenings--like 'Stranger Things' or other Netflix and Internet trends--but on the other hand, I also feel like I can more effectively read books and connect to the "real" world. I might not be able to chat about 'Stranger Things'--in fact, I might have to stare blankly at a new coworker as I explain, again, that I don't use Netflix, because I can't, because I don't have good Internet--but I can tell you about the last 10 books I read, the story I'm working on, or the podcast I am listening to right now.