5 Outfits for Late Winter Inspiration

We're at that time of the year where, if you're like me, you've been cycling through the same few tops and jeans. I have 4 outfits that I wear in rotation. That's boring! But as the winter wears on, it's hard to feel inspired, especially if you're saving your money (like I am!) for Spring. 

I thought I'd share some Polyvore sets to help us all be a little bit more inspired with our late Winter style. I went with sets that included items we all probably have (especially if you, like me, are a minor hoarder that has saved multiple years worth of trends). Here we go! 

1. Go Full Christmas

Casual: Pom Pom Beanies by beebeely-look featuring key chain rings

Once Christmas passes, I tend to set aside my fair isle sweaters and beanie hats. I don't know why! I always feel like the time for them is over. But this set is really making me question that decision! A cozy fair isle paired with coordinated beanie & scarf and topped with your usual winter coat is an easy, cute outfit. Totally Instagram worthy, to be honest. 

2. Change the Color Palette

Casual outfit by asia-12 featuring ray ban sunglasses

Have you been wearing black for four weeks straight? Listen, me too. That's probably why I'm loving this outfit. I really want a top in this dark, cognac color now! Paired with an olive, military jacket (I am in the firm belief that everyone owns one--mine, embarrassingly, is maternity!) and some leopard print (!!) booties... it's an almost-neutral outfit that just brightens up the late winter, right? 

3. Pretend You're French

Stripes by mycherryblossom featuring a parker fountain pen

The minute I saw this outfit, I swooned a little. That top! That skirt! Add some black tights and maybe replace the heels with your trustiest knee high boots, top with a coat... it's late Winter, but it's not boring. You can also pretend that you're walking through Paris, ala Carrie Bradshaw, and feel very fancy while doing it. 

4. Treat Yourself to Something Lovely

How to mix flowers and stripes by karineminzonwilson featuring Anastasia Beverly Hills

A striped dress is a total staple. A floral print coat? Um, not so much. But let's be real... it's gorgeous. And it's perfect alongside a striped dress, or plain top and jeans. I know I said these outfits only included items most people would have anyway... well, that was a teeny tiny lie. I want to live the life of someone who just happens to have an extremely fashionable coat lying around! 

In fairness, a striped dress paired with a cardigan and a floral print scarf will be just as cute--and just springy enough to get us through February without losing our minds. 

5. Redo Your Denim

Casual femme by blueyed featuring grey suede boots

Nothing--I repeat, nothing--is as classic as a denim jacket. I love this outfit: the unique denim jacket, the gray jeans, the flowy, pretty top, the suede booties. Totally gorgeous, top to bottom. I don't own a denim jacket like that, but I do own a pair of gray jeans; I do own a floaty top; and I do have some boots that fit the bill. Why did I never think to put them all together before? Rookie move! 

Well, are you feeling inspired? What's getting you through this long, late Winter days? 

How to Get Started On Wattpad

What is Wattpad? 

Wattpad is a website where you can post short stories and novels, as well as read and review stories of all kinds. 

Initially, I was very hesitant to get started on Wattpad. I'm naturally suspicious of posting my creative writing anywhere online--ever since my Livejournal days when people would steal my fan fiction and repost it as theirs, I have a major paranoia about having my hard work stolen! 

However, once I started posting on Wattpad, I really started to enjoy it. Plus, it's always fun to have new outlets for reading. I've read so many great stories on Wattpad--some short and some long--and it's so much fun. 

Why Wattpad? 

If you're a new writer (my most recent newsletter was about getting started writing if you've never done it before), it can be overwhelming to think of having someone else read what you've written. 

Socially, we tend to have this notion that if someone shows us their art, we know they can get better. We really love to watch artists grow as they paint or sculpt or whatever. Conversely, when it comes to writing, it's very difficult to be a starting writer. People have very strict ideas of what is good and bad. I have seen some halfway decent fan fiction get absolutely torn apart due to things that can be easily fixed with grammatical knowledge and formatting. But because we have this idea that you're either a great writer from the start or a bad one, people tend to give up--or, they tend to react badly to any criticism whatsoever, and so they never improve. 

Wattpad is a great way to get around that fear. When it comes to feedback, sometimes it's best to start about amateurs and then, slowly, through writing communities, work on getting better. 

Getting Start on Wattpad

I wanted to post a few tips for getting started on Wattpad. It's very easy to get overwhelmed when you first register--there are so many stories, so many tags, so many new things to learn. Here are some tips: 

1. Use Canva to make your covers. 

Canva actually has pre-made templates for Wattpad covers. How convenient! One of the most daunting things of uploading your first story is that cover, right? It's the first thing people will judge. I also use Unsplash for stock photos for covers. 

2. Learn how the tags work. 

The tag system on Wattpad uses hashtags--much like Twitter or Tumblr--but in a completely different way. Some tags are very general (like #boy) and some tags are very specific (like #high-school). Search through the stories and learn how tags work, so you can better tag your stories & find readers! 

3. Join challenges.

Both of my stories currently on Wattpad were written as part of challenges! Challenges are a great way to just get writing, regardless of what ends up happening. (Full disclosure, I don't love either of the stories I have on Wattpad, but I'm working on them!) The challenges on Wattpad can give you great ideas of what to read and what to write. 

Want to read my Wattpad stories? Click here.  

How to Start a Gratitude Journal

I've been keeping journals since I was about 14 or 15, consistently. I write down just about every aspect of my life, which will leave the future a very boring record of one girl who really liked staying at home. However, I journal mostly for my benefit--not really anyone else's! This is really the perfect way to approach journaling, because it removes the stress of creating some kind of "record" for anyone other than yourself. 

Gratitude journaling is something that has emerged, quite recently, as a way to journal through anxiety and depression. Basically, in a gratitude journal, you write the things you're thankful for. It's a pretty easy concept on paper. But getting started (especially if you're struggling with anxiety or depression) can be overwhelming. 

Here are some tips and resources for getting started.

1. Pick a journal you like. 

I have tons of notebooks lying around my house. Some I use whenever I need a sheet of paper--to make a grocery list or write down a reminder. Some I am saving for a very specific purpose. (I have a London journal that I've been hoarding since 2011. Someday!) What I'm saying is: don't just use any notebook you have lying around. Pick a notebook you really want to use. Something pretty. Or something utilitarian (if that's your style). A journal with your favorite kind of paper. And remember, use your favorite pens (or whatever pen, again, if that's your style). If you're persnickety about these things, don't work against them. 

2. Find some prompts. 

When I first started gratitude journaling, I would end my usual journal entries with 5 things I was thankful for or 5 things I enjoyed that day (even if it was a crappy day). Overtime, it got more and more difficult because I found myself listing the same few things every day. Recently, I copied my friend Charlotte's gratitude journal format (that she borrowed from someone else and posted on her Instagram!) to help me get restarted. Alternatively, you can find tons of gratitude journal prompts on Pinterest. You can follow my Pinterest board on journaling here, complete with tons of prompts and inspiration. 

3. Make it part of your routine. 

Journaling works best, for me, when I do it every evening. Some people prefer journaling in the morning--it just really depends on your style! There is something alluring about waking up in the morning and drinking your morning coffee while you journal. However, life with a toddler means that does not happen in my world, but if it's possible in yours, go for it. Make filling in your gratitude journal part of your routine. 

4. Write as little or as much as you want. 

If you work best writing lists, go for it. If you want to write pages and pages... that's fine too! Lots of gratitude journal lists suggest one thing or the other--I suspect in the belief that you might run out of steam or only do superficial journaling if you go either way. However, for me, it's entirely personal; sometimes, I want to write a lot. Sometimes, I'm just going to write a list. 

5. Don't force it. 

Sometimes, I just can't think of anything I'm grateful for besides the fact that I woke up and I get to go to sleep! That's kind of a bummer, right? Unfortunately, it's the truth. However, I find it easier if I don't force it. Some days, I just cannot think of anything I want to write down and that's fine. Maybe the next day, I'll think, "Gosh, I'm in a better mood now and I can see I should have written this." If I force myself, I'm lulling myself into a false sense of "This is fine. It's all fine." If you can't think of anything to write, it's really, totally ok to not write anything. Or to write, "I'm drawing a blank. I hope I feel better tomorrow." 

Do you gratitude journal? Share with me on Twitter! I want to see what your process looks like for an upcoming newsletter! 

The One Goal I Gave Up in 2016

Last week, I wrote about all the things I stopped buying in 2016. Over the weekend, though, I started trying to remember what my resolutions or goals were last January. 

In January 2016, I was definitely fixated on continuing pumping. I remember desperately thinking that if I could keep pumping breastmilk for just three more months, I was at 6 months--and then it would be easy to make it to a year, right? Nope! By the time April rolled around, I was pumping less than 1/4 of an ounce every 2 hours, even through the night, totally just barely 6-10 ounces per day. I had to give up the ghost. So that's one goal (would you call a fixation a goal?) that didn't make it in 2016. 

But I don't remember actually ever sitting down and thinking about goals in 2016. I really wanted to take more time for myself. I really wanted to start working out again. I really wanted to eat healthier. 

But I didn't really set any hard and fast goals. At least as far as I remember. 

Then, my husband reminded me: one of my top goals in 2016 was to use my free time to be productive. 

At the time (January 2016), Forrest was 3 months old and barely sleeping. We were still in an exhausted haze. We didn't start sleep training until late June. Which meant that every day for the first 6 months of 2016, every moment of every day, I was holding Forrest--for naps, for play times, for bottles, everything. 

And yet, I wanted to be more productive. The house was a mess; we ran the dishwasher only when we were totally out of silverware; and I always felt just a bit on the edge of losing my mind in terms of how our house looked. 

Once Forrest started sleeping (which meant I had free time to clean, read books, write, whatever), I started beating myself up for doing things like lying on the couch reading or going to bed early. I got a precious 4 hours every evening to myself--I should spend it being productive... at least, that was my thought process. 

I gave up on forcing myself to be productive. 

Here's the thing: I love being someone who is very self-motivated to learn and try new things. I love the fact that my anxiety drives me to be working nearly every hour of every day. 

But sometimes, I need to be kind to myself too. When I'm feeling exhausted and just want to sit on the couch, that's ok. 

Since August, I've struggled with weeks-long tension headaches and migraines (a super fun combination). I try to still get things done regardless of how my head feels, but sometimes, it's just harder. The floors go without being vacuumed; the windows haven't been washed in months; the dishes pile up in the kitchen. And that's ok. It's ok. I'll get to it eventually. 

For me, forcing myself to be productive was a way of forcing myself to believe that if I don't do something right this moment, it will never happen. But the reality is: if you let things go (the floors, the dishes, the whatever), it's not the end of the world. They aren't going to be ruined. They'll live to see another day. 

And if I allow myself to relax and do what I need to do, I will see another day too. I don't always have to be productive. 

3 Things I Stopped Buying in 2016

2016 was a big year for me in terms of learning to budget and, most importantly, learning to save money. 

I've always been what financial types call "a spender." That isn't to say I didn't save money; I did. I regularly went through phases where I saved more than I spent, mostly because I was lucky enough to not need to spend all my money on boring things like bills. I've also, however, gone through periods of time (especially when I was a teenager and right after college) where I spent every penny I made every single paycheck. 

That's not a super fun way to go through life, but you live and you learn, I say. 

However, 2016 really changed things for us. Why? 

Firstly, Forrest's birth was considerably more expensive than we thought it would be. I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days (that bill still makes me cringe) and Forrest was in the hospital for a total of 7 days. Yeah, you read those numbers right. That's 17 days being billed between us, plus labs, medications, and everything else. 

Secondly, because breastfeeding didn't work out for us the way I always planned, we ended up spending a lot of money on feeding supplies: bottles and sanitizers I didn't buy, a bottle drying tree, bottle drying brushes. And then, as time went on, formula. Have you ever looked at how expensive formula is? A 3-day supply (a single can) costs around $17.99 for the more affordable brands. Seriously. By the time Forrest was 8 months and exclusively formula fed, we were spending about $40 a week on formula. 

All these expenses meant it was time to really get a lock on our finances and start saving money. Mainly, I wanted to have more in savings for a rainy day, plus we have some goals for ourselves. Thanks to some clever budgeting and payments, we're going to pay off our car in half the time. 

When it comes to saving money, however, it's often the big, unchangeable expenses that can blow your budget. Most people spend more on rent, food, and utilities than they would like. Without those expensive payments, it was be easy to save money! However, I do believe there are a few little things that anyone can cut out to help them save a little money. 

So, these are the 3 things I stopped buying in 2016 to help us save extra cash. 

1. Impulse grocery shopping. 

My husband and I both got into a very bad habit of stopping at the grocery store every single day. Oh, I want a soda? It's only $2 at the grocery store! Want something a little extra for dinner? Swing by the grocery store! We were regularly doing our grocery shopping, plus we'd spend $5-20 every other day or so. Individually, that doesn't sound like a lot. But if you spend $5 at the grocery store, or convenience store, every single day, plus do a weekly grocery shopping trip, you're breaking your budget. 

Now, I set a grocery budget ($70 a week, usually) and stick to it. We're lucky in that we only have one, small toddler at the moment, so it's easy to stick to $70. And if we need something at the store that I forgot, well, that's just too bad! I put it on the list for next week. 

2. Take out.

Another bad habit: picking up dinner on the way home. Lots of couples do this and it's easy to think, "Oh, this $10 pizza isn't a huge deal!" But if you're buying groceries plus spending $10+ on dinner every night... then why are you buying groceries again? One week, we ended up spending something like $120 on food and I put my foot down! There is no way two people need $120 worth of food in a week! We were wasting groceries and wasting money. So now, we eat at home and that's it. Once in a while, we will have a planned treat, but we budget for it and I don't buy groceries for that day. We've saved so much money this way! Plus, we aren't throwing out food anymore. We use what we buy. 

3. Lunches. 

My husband and I got very used to buying lunch every day at work. But once we had Forrest, that just wasn't possible anymore. I was the first to stop getting lunch every day, which saves us an extra $15+ a week. Then, finally, my husband relented. Every week, I make him 5 breakfast burritos and 5 lunches to take to work; this saves us over $25+ a week, considering my husband would often stop to get breakfast and then get lunch!

It's amazing how a little thing like grabbing a sandwich or a donut in the morning can add up, but it really does. It's also very easy to get into patterns of going to the bagel shop for lunch every day. Now, I make my coffee at home and I pack something small for lunch (usually a cheese stick, an apple, and a bit of leftovers from dinner), and I don't have to worry about spending the extra money! 

How to Use Daily Notes to Stay Organized + Free Printable!

I love staying organized. And one of the ways I stay organized, day in and day out, is by using lists. Or, daily notes. In my bullet journal from work, I copy the same layout for my daily notes page every single day and use it to record my to do list, my schedule and meetings, as well as a few other tasks (like scheduling social media, posting blogs, etc.) 

Not everyone can use a bullet journal. It's just too much for some people. And it doesn't work for everybody. If you're one of those people, I've created a free daily notes printable that you can use instead--so you can test the waters of daily notes, see if it works for you, and then invest in starting a bullet journal. 

How do I use daily notes? Here's how: 

• I write a to do list for every single day in the To Do section. This is where all my tasks go. If I end up needing more room, I start a list on the next page, but I try to prioritize what I list as an actual To Do. As well, any tasks that I need to get to, but don't have time for today, I put in the Remember for Tomorrow section. 
• I track my water intake and FitBit steps in habits, as well as things like whether I've scheduled social media. 
• In the schedule, I highlight the hours I work, add in my meetings and hourly deadlines, and then note Forrest's approximate bedtime. 
• I use the Meals section to write my meal plan for the day. 
• At the end of the day, I write three things I'm grateful for without fail. It's a good opportunity to reflect on my day and see what I've accomplished, as well as what has gone my way. 

5 Tips for Starting a Newsletter

I launched my newsletter in mid-December, so when it comes to newsletters, I am by no means an expert! However, if you're looking for someone who is working through the process in real time, I'm the blogger for you. If you're wanting to launch your own newsletter, here are a few tips, from one newbie to another. 

1. Pick a platform you know. 

I was very lucky that I knew how to use an email platform previously. Mailchimp was what I had experience in and even though I know there are actually better platforms out there, I went with Mailchimp simply because I knew it was easy to use. If you don't have experience with email platforms, I highly recommend doing a little research beforehand, watching a few videos, and knowing what you're getting into! 

2. Stick with a schedule. 

Pick a schedule to start with--nothing too strict. Once a month, or every other week. Put those dates on your calendar and start a document with topics so you're never scrambling at the last minute. I've signed up for a few new newsletters and ended up getting inundated with emails in the first two weeks--bloggers get excited about their newsletter and end up sending out a ton of them early on. Not only is that really annoying for subscribers, but you'll end up getting exhausted at the amount of work you're putting in! 

3. Don't expect instant success. 

Here's the thing: it will take a while to get into a groove with writing newsletters. It's important to remember that it will not only take time to build your subscription list, but it will also take time to write newsletters that people really want to read. Focus on writing great content and figuring out what your readers want first--not necessarily on being instantly successful! 

4. Promote (of course). 

Funny thing, but you've got to promote your newsletter! I have sign ups on my blog, but I also tweet a link to sign up at least every few days. Encourage your friends to sign up and to share it on social media as well. Promotion is the only way you'll get anywhere, so don't just set it and forget it! 

5. Have fun

Listen, it's not the end of the world if you launch a newsletter and it ends up falling flat! Most importantly, just have fun. Send the newsletter that you would be excited to see in your inbox; write the things you want to see. When you are passionate and having fun, it will resonate with people! 

And of course, don't forget to sign up for my newsletter, sent out every other Wednesday, here!

I Tried eSalon & Here's What I Think

It's been over three (probably closer to four) years since I last dyed my hair. I used to consistently dye my naturally dark brown hair dark red; it was a look that worked for me for a long time. Then, I just stopped; I didn't have the time or money to dedicated to the upkeep. And, in general, I just wasn't interested in doing it long term. 

I first learned about eSalon during one of my favorite podcasts (My Favorite Murder, which I've written about here); it's an at-home, mail order hair dye service. That's really the best way to describe it. I had heard the ad multiple times during My Favorite Murder and finally, I had to take the plunge; it had been so long since I'd dyed my hair and, especially after Forrest was born, I just needed to do something to change my look, if you will. 

The way eSalon works is that you use their website to answer a bunch of questions about your hair: your hair texture, your original color, whether your hair is currently dyed or not, what hair and scalp issues you have, and more. In the end, you get a range of colors to choose from; you pick one, a specialist formulates your color just for you based on everything you've told them, and you get sent it in a box along with instructions and shampoo and conditioner. 

You receive a box that looks like this. It includes the basic hair dye supplies: the dye solution and then a mixer bottle containing an activating ingredient. My kit also came with an application brush, although I ended up not using it. The Perfect Match kit includes a packet of shampoo, a packet of conditioner, a packet of stain shield, and a stain removal wipe, as well as two pairs of gloves.

The worst part of box kits you buy in the store is that they only come with one pair of not very good gloves. The eSalon kit gloves are like medical gloves and two pairs!? So I don't have to rinse off and try to reuse the same pair in the shower?! Genius. 

I hemmed and hawed about when to take the plunge. I've been pretty proud about the fact that my hair is "natural" right now: it's the color I was meant to have. However, family disposition means I am rapidly going gray and so I have pretty substantial grays through my part and bangs. Not a great look for a 28-year-old. 

Sunday night, I went for it--even though I was by myself and I've never dyed long hair on my own. Despite a few challenges (that back, y'all), I felt pretty confident about it and application was really easy. Also, the packet of stain guard is GENIUS; it kept my ears and forehead from getting stained like when I've dyed my hair in the past! 

The color sets for 30 minutes, then my instructions told me to do this thing where I used the leftover hair color and water to lather my hair. Uh, that didn't really work, but it was also freaking MESSY and I was terrified of staining my shower or shower curtain. The shampoo and conditioner from eSalon were amazing and smelled really good; each packet had enough for probably two washes and conditions for hair my length (just above the shoulder) or one for longer or thicker hair. 

I ended up having a TON of extra dye leftover; like almost half the bottle. I don't know if that's normal or not, but it kind of worried me! 

However, I loved my color. Plus, my hair ended up super shiny and pretty looking. Very silky. I couldn't stop touching it. 

The color I selected initially was called Intense Pearl. The thing about my natural hair color is that it is very, very close to black. In pictures, it often looks lighter, but it's really not; it's very, very dark. So when it comes to at home hair color, I don't have a ton of options. Bleaching my hair is something that just will never work--I've gone orange enough times to be able to say with sureness that it's just not ever going to happen, despite my dreams of white blonde hair. 

Intense Pearl was supposed to have mostly violet undertones. However, once I used it, it pretty much just looks like dark brown with red undertones. Which, isn't a big deal! But I'd really been looking forward to those violet undertones! It was a big leap for me and I was very excited about it. However, I don't hate it, so that's fine; I added a note to my eSalon profile for next time, so hopefully I will actually get violet next time. 

Update: 

I had to update this post to share my experience adding notes to my eSalon profile. I added a note that the dye had turned my hair dark brown with dark, dark red undertones. Not a horrible thing! I don't mind! But's far from the cool, violet hair color I had chosen. It's like going to dye your hair blue and getting red, you know? 

Wednesday morning, I received a note from a colorist saying that, essentially, they cannot provide violet undertones because violet is a combination of blue and red (ok, thanks) and they cannot add more blue, so they could resend a violet kit, but it would just make my hair more red. So I replied asking why they showed that color (Intense Pearl) as a violet undertone if it's not possible to achieve. She replied that they can add violet, but they add violet with red, so the color usually shifts from violet to red overtime. But that's not true--my hair is dark red from the start. 

Which again, that's fine. It's not the worst thing in the world. It is absolutely not what I wanted, but it's not like my hair is totally destroyed. 

They offered to send me another kit. I replied asking, again, why they showed a color on their website, for my hair color, that they knew wouldn't look like the picture. So that's when they called me. 

I got a call from the colorist I'd been speaking to (that's what she said, at least) and she explained, again, that violet is a combination of red and blue. Which, I know what the color wheel looks like. She said, again, that Intense Pearl is supposed to go on with violet undertones and fade to red. But that is categorically not the case for my hair; my hair is dark red. Which, again, one more time, is fine. 

She said it was probably because my hair is so dark so it naturally has red undertones. But I'd selected the darkest brown hair they showed on the website and one of the options was a violet undertone hair color, Intense Pearl. If Intense Pearl can't go onto dark brown hair and show up violet, then why do they show it as an option? Why portray it as a cool toned, violet option if they literally can't do it, as she admitted they couldn't? That's when she told me that they actually cannot increase the violet undertone because they cannot add blue dye to their formulations because they don't have it. What is the point of advertising a violet undertone (a mix of red and blue, in case I hadn't been told that 400 times) if you don't use blue dye!? That's when I got frustrated.

My hair was my natural hair color before hair. It was fine! It was great! I just wanted to cover my gray hair! I just wanted to do something different. But right now, my hair is the same dark red I've been dying my hair since I was 16. If I wanted to dye my hair dark red, trust me, I know the hair dye to buy in the store for $6--not $25. I don't need to go to a salon or a specialist for dark red hair, trust me. I'm just really frustrated that something I wanted to do to spice up my look and feel good has ended up making me look about basically the same as I looked pre-pregnancy. It's not new or special. And it's frustrating to feel lied to and as if they really do not care about the fact that they are falsely including a hair color they admit they cannot achieve.